Chapter 18 - Guilty

Chapter 18 - Guilty

"Soo Min, will you go out with me?"

For a second, I looked at him in disbelieve. Are my ears ringing? "W-What?" I asked. "You don't want me to repeat myself, right?" he asked and smiled at me. "I guess not" I replied hesitantly.

The wind was blowing and both mine and Jonghyun's hair moving along with it. I was actually shocked; I had never expected for something like this to happen. I thought I had an one sided love.

"So what is your answer?" he asked and got closer to me. His gaze was directed to my eyes and I couldn't help but look at this eyes. Confident. He looked confident. "I-I ... guess a yes?" I said. I looked at the ground, I was way too shy.

"Fine, let's meet up on Friday at 4.pm," he said and started to walk while I stood there and comprehended what had happened. "Won't you come along?" he asked and turned around.

"You may have forgotten but I'm still staying at your house." He added and we both started to walk next to each other. "You should have seen your face. It was so red" he said and mocked me. "Ya! Don't make fun of me" I said and hit his arm. "Okay, okay," he said and ruffled my hair.

It was a gloomy day and suddenly the weather I hated the most, became the weather I liked the most.

In this evening, I took a shower and afterward I walked to my room while talking to my mother on the phone. She was giving me instructions on what to do because they weren't home until tomorrow, they had gone to Busan for a checkup from my grandparents, which happens thrice a year. I remember that my parents also went for that checkup when we went for the New Year's party; the night when Jonghyun saved me twice.

"Yes mom, I will close the windows and lock the door. Yes, mom, I will ....." I couldn't finish my sentence after opening the door and seeing what was inside. "I will call you later," I said and cut the phone call.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked and looked at the three girls sitting on my bed, forming a circle. "We were waiting for you Soo Min," Sulli said and I looked at them skeptically. "Come, join us," Hana said and dragged me to the circle. "So what happened?" Hyorin asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, pretending to be dumbstruck. "We know that you know what we are talking about. What happened at your date?" Sulli asked. "Nothing" I lied. It wasn't even a date and I don't know if Jonghyun is okay with telling anyone, he is an idol after all.

"Tell us," Hana said demandingly. Right now, these three girls seem like a hungry paparazzi. "Well... he ...." I was hesitant. "Spill the beans, Soo Min" Hyorin said. "Fine," I said defeated. "He actually asked-"

"Hey Soo Min, do you want to-" Jonghyun suddenly barged into my room just in time. I sighed in relieve and everybody looked at Jonghyun like they could murder him. "I think I came at the wrong moment," he said and was about to close the door. "No!"

"Let's talk outside," I said, grabbed his hand and hurriedly rushed outside. By the time we had left the house, I realized that Jonghyun was smiling. "Why are you smiling?" I asked. "You are still holding my hand" he pointed out and my cheeks reddened. "Oh sorry," I said and let go of his hand.

"No, I actually liked it," he said and grabbed my hand again. "Anyway, I think I barged into your room at the wrong time," he said and we started to roam the streets. It was pitch black and the street lights were showing its full brightness. "They were asking me what had happened to you when we met at the park," I said and smiled.

"Oh really? You could have told them" he said casually. While he was holding one hand, my other hand was freezing, so I put them in my jacket pocket. "Really?" I asked. "Wait ... Did you think that I wouldn't like it?" he asked disbelieved. "Kind of," I said and he laughed.

"They are people who are close to you, of course, you can tell them about us," he said and added "my members knew everything from the start" He had probably realized that I was freezing so he stopped walking and closed my jacket. After that, he took of his scarf and wrapped it around my neck and we started walking again.

"From the start means?" I asked curiously. "From the moment I started to develop feelings for you to where I asked you out" Somehow I felt guilty; I never actually admitted that I liked Jonghyun to Hyorin or Hana. It is another thing that they somehow figured out themselves but I had never told them directly. "Let's tell them together" I suggested to which Jonghyun agreed with a smile.

That night, we were all sitting in the living room, all wearing our night suits. "So what do you have to tell us?" Kyungsoo asked. Hana and Sulli, who had decided to stay here for the night, were already smiling ear to ear; they were smart enough to figure out what we will be saying now.

"Actually...." I wanted to take all of my courage and spill it out but it seemed to be so hard.

"We are going out"

Everybody looked at Jonghyun who straightforwardly said it. Hana and Sulli were fangirling at the corner, Hyorin looked at Jonghyun with a straight face, but had an approving look on her face. And I swear I saw a slight smile on her lips for one second. She is maybe starting to not dislike Jonghyun.

I looked at the boys, both looking very shocked. "Come with me," Kyungsoo said and stood up. I actually was thought that he would drag me out of the room and scold me, but instead Jonghyun and he walked out. "And you come with me," Oliver said and dragged me to the garden.

"What was that?" he asked me furiously. "Why are you so angry? Shouldn't you be happy for me? Can't you just smile and wish me luck with my relationship?" I asked. "No I can't" he replied simply. "What?" I asked disbelieved.

"Why did you leave America?" he asked out of the nowhere. "It has nothing to do with our situation now," I said frustrated. "Oh yes, it does. You suddenly went away some days after Hana and I got together" he stated. I sighed and looked at him. "I don't know what you are trying to say"

"Why do you think I am going out with Hana?" he asked and my eyes widened. "No! Please don't tell me that your intentions were..." I said. "Exactly," he said. We are a huge problem.

Normally I am a bit dense, but this time, I understood everything. He had used Hana, he had used her from the beginning. And what for? If I think back, he never actually had a real conversation with Hana, he always talked to me. Back then, I was so shocked about them going out that I never thought why he had asked out Hana. It was only to get closer to me.

I turned around and saw Jonghyun who was listening to our conversation. Great, it couldn't get any better. Jonghyun looked like he was holding back his anger. Slowly he went towards Oliver and I could already predict what he wanted to do.

Please don't punch him.

Please don't punch him.

And he punched him.

"Jonghyun!" I half-screamed as Oliver fell on the ground. "Stop it!" I said but he didn't listen. He kneeled down and punched him in the face again. "You bastard! I knew that something was off about you. Have you ever thought about how the other person would feel when she finds out about your wrongdoings?" he said and punched him again. Oliver never defended himself, he let himself get hit from Jonghyun. Was it because of guilt?

I placed my hands on Jonghyun's shoulder and he knew that it meant that he should stop now. I helped him getting up and made sure that his clothes were not dirty from the floor. "Let's talk about that inside," I said and Jonghyun and I walked inside, letting Oliver stand outside alone.

As we were walking I could feel arms around my waist. I looked at Jonghyun and he looked at me, with a grin, as if he had forgotten everything about what had happened some minutes ago. "My arms need support after beating somebody up," he said as an excuse and I laughed. "Yeah right, they need my waist as a support"

"What did Kyungsoo talk to you about?" I asked curiously choosing to ignore what had happened right now. "He actually was warning me. Well, I better not betray you or else I will be beaten up by him" he joked and I laughed. He was always good at lightening up the situation.

We reached the living room and saw that the rest was still there. "Uhm-Uhm" Kyungsoo cleared his throat and Jonghyun quickly removed his hands from my waist. "Where is Oliver?" Hana asked and I felt guilty again. "He wanted to get some fresh air," Jonghyun said and we sat down.

"Don't you have a little sister? I always wanted to meet her" Hana said. "She went for a ski course with her friend before you guys came here. She will be back by tomorrow" I said and felt guilty again. Because of Hana and Oliver, I had neglected Eun hee too much. The last time I talked with her, she still had problems with opening up with her because we aren't her real family. Jonghyun and I had decided to have a talk with her too, but the arrival of Hana made us forget everything.

"And what about your neighborhood friend you mentioned on the phone a while ago?" Hana asked me, referring to Sawako, and made me feel guilt-ridden again. I had forgotten about her too. I remember that she had some kind of breakdown after Jonghyun turned her down. I should have at least visited her.

This should be a good day. The day when Jonghyun asked me out should be a good day, but instead, this was turning into a bad day.

Then, Oliver entered the house with some bandages on his face. "Oh my god, Oliver! What happened to you?" Hana shrieked. "I fell on my face" Seriously? Didn't he have a better excuse? Everybody remained silent and Hana gave him a 'we need to talk' look.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. We all looked at each other and wondered who it could be at 23 o'clock. "Who can it be? What if is a dangerous person?" Sulli said in a scared tone. Slowly, I stood up to open the door but Jonghyun held me back and told me to sit down again. I smiled at him being so protective. He stood up and opened the door only to see a familiar person.

"What are you doing here?" Jonghyun and I said in unison.

End of chapter 18

Who do you think it was? There are many people who it can be. Your guesses are welcomed!