17

Rue knew she would sleep for days. It felt as though a century of exhaustion had reached it's height, and it came crashing down the second she and Beorn entered Radagast's home. The place was built into the natural hollows of a rather large tree, and although it was cluttered and chaotic, it was charming. She gazed at the many spell books and jars of who knows what surrounding her, but she was much too fatigued to be deterred. The wizard led the pair into his spare room, the three of them barely squeezing into the small space.

"I'm afraid I only have one other bed, and it will most certainly not fit the two of you." Radagast said, wishing he could do more to ease their comfort.

"It's alright." Beorn replied, looking at Rue. "As a thank you for my freedom, you shall rest first. I'll keep watch."

"You owe me nothing." Rue smiled back, but she did not deny the gift. "Though I doubt there is a need to keep watch."

"No, there is not. Powerful spells surround my home, disguising it from any Orcen gaze. You are safe here. Either way, the rabbits stand guard, just in case."

Rue looked to Beorn, a strange look sliding across her features. "Not normal rabbits, of course." She said, though it was posed more as a question.

"No. Rhosgobel rabbits." The Skin-Changer's face lit up with delight at the response. Rue knew he was a lover of all life in Middle Earth, with the exception of Orcs. She assumed he had never seen the rare breed before, for he was surely excited at the prospect.

"I should like to meet them, if our host is so gracious and willing. That is how I will pass the time."

"He will not hurt them, I promise." Rue added to warm the wizard to the idea.

"Of course not! Yes, yes! I'll take you to them." Radagast said, ushering Beorn out of the room and outside the house. Before closing the door behind him, he yelled over his shoulder, "Get settled, dear! We shall speak in the morning!"

Rue did as she was told, falling into a deep sleep in mere minutes. Meanwhile, Radagast had led Beorn to the rabbits, which caused the Skin-Changer to crack a grin as they pooled at his feet.

"Beorn," The wizard began, causing him to look up. "You call her Rue, yet that is not her only name."

Beorn inched closer to the wizard, his words shocking him. "We agreed on the title when she arrived in Dol Guldur, over a century ago."

"Then she does not have her wits about her."

"She has wits, but not her memory." Beorn corrected, his voice a little stern. "We spent over a century in Azog's dungeons, and she remembers nothing of her life before. Bolg, the Defiler's son, caused her a head injury upon capture that compromised her."

"So Gandalf was right." Radagast took a whiff of his pipe. "Talia Rue Ashenstone, the Butcher of Beasts, Lady of Dale, and Queen Under the Mountain still lives after the battle for Moria."

Beorn blinked at her many titles. The information overwhelmed him. "She is married to Thorin Oakenshield, I presume."

"Yes."

"So that's why Azog wanted her." The Skin-Changer said, piecing his knowledge together. "If she is married to the sole heir to Erebor, then she not only has information regarding the King, but of his plans with the Mountain."

"Precisely!" Radagast shook his pipe in Beorn's direction. "Gandalf the Grey and I have conferred for many moons over the evil that lurks in Dol Guldur, that which has spread and infected this very forest. Now that we know Azog the Defiler still lives, it only confirms our suspicions. Gandalf has asked Thorin to lead a quest for the mountain, to reclaim it for Smaug. He cares for the dwarves, yes, but it is not only for them. If Azog was to succeed in eradicating the line of Durin, and the mountain was lost, then it gives our enemy the advantage of the east. The witch kingdom of Angmar would rise again, and evil would sink it's teeth further into Middle Earth."

"Then she must remember who she is." Beorn asserted. "I recall from my captivity whispers of the dwarven lass who cut off the Defiler's ear, who stabbed her dagger through the eye of the dragon. She has earned her title of Butcher of Beasts, for she is a warrior. If anyone was to kill Smaug or Azog, it would be her. She would be an essential force, most likely necessary for the dwarves to survive and the quest to succeed." He paused, looking away from the wizard and thinking deeply. "I may have been her family for these past few years, but the dwarves were her first. She must help them reclaim their homeland, her homeland, if Gandalf is arranging such a quest."

"That indeed." Radagast said, standing up suddenly. "I must relay this news to Gandalf. He will help her memory, for my spells alone are not strong enough to relieve such a wound. The entire fate of this quest rides on her shoulders, and if she does not remember herself, it is lost."

Beorn watched as the wizard lifted his hat, revealing a couple of birds living in a nest of his hair. As the birds fluttered in front of him, he whispered to them in a language the Skin-Changer did not understand, and they flew into the distance to deliver his message. Radagast truly was a peculiar fellow, but one that had a heart bigger than most, which Beorn respected.

With promises of tea to be prepared in the morning, Radagast went inside to rest, leaving Beorn in his lonesome. He bent down to pet one of the rabbits, smiling as they nibbled on his finger lightly. He did not know what was to become of himself, but he swore that evening that he would have his own garden, one that would serve as a refuge to the wildlife around him.

Before he knew it, the sun had risen. Sitting up, he realized he had drifted asleep leaning on the trunk of a tree. The Rhosgobel rabbits were nestled in his sides and at his feet. Moving them off gently, he stood to see a robed figure riding across the plains atop a white horse, donning nothing else but a staff and a pointed grey hat.

"My dear Gandalf!" Radagast said, helping his friend off his steed and embracing him gently. The grey-bearded fellow chuckled deeply, returning the gesture with a merry smile. Beorn watched the encounter from the sidelines alone; Rue was still fast asleep. "How have you been?"

"Quite well. It is a good morning, for it is a morning to be good on. And I intend to do just that." Gandalf replied in such a manner that only he could. "I am overjoyed to hear Talia Rue is alive. Though, I am equally as happy about our Skin-Changer."

Beorn stepped forward, bowing his head in thanks at the wizard.

"The day your kind were enslaved marked one of the gravest days of Middle Earth." Gandalf continued, seeing the pain that flashed in Beorn's eyes. "Though, I always had hope that some remnants of a happier time still remained. We will make arrangements for you that I hope you will find to be satisfactory, Beorn. There is a house on the edge of this wood, long abandoned, that I think you will learn to make home. But first, let us visit Talia Rue."

Beorn was speechless at his kindness, but had no time to thank him, for the wizards had already entered Radagast's home. Gandalf wandered around inside, nearly tripping on a root before finally coming to the guest room. Pausing, he smiled as he leaned on his staff, seeing the sleeping woman before him. Though she was battered, worn, and looked to be half of the weight she used to be, it was undoubtedly her. After all of these years, he had finally found Talia Rue. The wizard knelt at her bedside, laying a hand on her brow and feeling the heat that protruded from it.

"I tried everything I knew last night, but it was for naught." Radagast informed his associate from over his shoulder. "My strength lies in healing that of the earth and sky, not illnesses of the mind."

"Well, that is why I have come, is it not?" He responded matter-of-factly, though his tone was not rude. Beorn could tell that he was the wiser of the two.

Gandalf's hand came to rest more firmly on Talia's forehead, but the lass did not stir or flinch from his touch. He closed his eyes, murmuring under his breath so low that neither the Skin-Changer nor the other wizard could hear him. Still, they understood that very serious magic was taking place. Gandalf was reaching into the depths of her mind, searching for anything that could be used to remind her of who she was. Instead, he had found her consciousness.

Talia Rue shot up from bed, sitting up straight and breathing heavily. Looking to her left, she saw a much older man searching her green eyes with his blue ones. "Who are you?" She asked, although the man was ignoring the strength of her stare.

"I am Gandalf. Gandalf the Grey."

"You are a wizard."

"Yes. Do you know who you are?"

But the woman could only shake her head. "I have donned myself Rue, for the bead in my hair contains the only clue I have of my past."

Gandalf leaned back with his staff, sighing softly to himself. His magic had not worked.

"Do you know who I am?" She whispered, her voice soft and begging. Rue wasn't sure why she was becoming emotional, but she felt her voice crack and her tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Yes." Gandalf tilted his head, his heart feeling her hurt. "I have come to try to heal you, Rue. To help your memory and to give you back your life from before the depths of Dol Guldur. But my methods have failed me, my dear. The memory is a tricky thing. The only way for you to remember it is to rediscover it for yourself."

"I only ask of one other thing from you, Gandalf." Rue looked at him desperately. "Tell me how to do so."

At her bedside, Gandalf launched into his explanation of the quest for Erebor, giving as little detail as possible so as to avoid disrupting the pattern of her self-discovery. He told her that by joining the Company, she would find herself rekindling the light of her past life, whether she knew it or not. She agreed to his terms, nodding along as he smiled at her. Meanwhile, Radagast was telling Beorn of the abandoned house that Gandalf spoke of, giving him directions to get the Skin-Changer out of Mirkwood and to his new life.

"You will meet me in the Shire, Bag End, to be precise, in three months' time. Our fellow members of our Company will gather in a hobbit hole. Look for my mark on the door."

"And what of the meantime?" Rue asked the wizard. "How shall I prepare?"

"I hope that your memory returns to you before then, but if not, you can venture to the Blue Mountains. Other dwarves inhabit it. You will find food, weapons, and shelter if you sneak into their strongholds, should you need to replenish your supplies. Some of our members reside there, and perhaps seeing them will spark something within you. But, Rue," He grabbed her arm, and she listened to him earnestly. "Do not be seen by anyone. Observe from a distance. Remember, you are presumed dead across these lands, and have been deemed so for over a century. If you do not remember and you are seen, your predicament will be tenfold. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Rue nodded. She stood alongside Gandalf, although he dwarfed her small frame. "Thank you, Gandalf. I do not know how to repay you."

"Your participation on this quest will do just that." He smiled down at her. "Now, Beorn. Has Radagast set everything in order?"

"Indeed. This is where we must part, Rue." Beorn said, kneeling down to her height. "I have no place in your quest. I am to begin a new life, one of peace and plenty, watching over the borders of these words and plains. I journey to my house now." Tears brimmed both of their eyes, though neither would acknowledge it. "Thank you for this century of company, and thank you for my freedom."

The Skin-Changer embraced her as the wizards watched on, their hearts warming at the sight. "I owe the same gratitude to you, Beorn. I wish you only the best." Rue said, releasing him with a sad smile.

"We will meet again." Beorn said, rising to his full height and accepting a pack of essentials from Radagast. "I am sure of it."

"Aye," Rue agreed, "I will make sure of it."

And with that, the Skin-Changer took his leave, exiting the house and walking towards his new life. He looked forward to a peaceful solitude, one without Orcs and Wargs. Though, he had plans of ways to fill it, for Beorn loved animals as if they were his friends. He would start his own farm and garden, and would live out the rest of his days in comfort. Rue and the wizards followed him outside, watching him go deeper into the forest in search of it's borders.

"I must take my leave as well, if I am to make good time between the Blue Mountains and the Shire." Rue announced as soon as the Skin-Changer was out of sight. The wizards nodded, both smiling as Radagast handed her a pack of her own. "Thank you both for your generosity, your help, and hospitality."

"Of course, my dear. I wish you the best of luck in the meantime. I shall meet you again in the Shire."

She smiled at Gandalf. "See you soon." She waved goodbye to Radagast over her shoulder, beginning her journey to the Blue Mountains as the grey wizard had instructed. She had thanked them for their service, and now she could only hope that Gandalf's prescribed remedy would be true.

What other choice did she have?

...

"I know I cannot change your mind, brother, but are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes, Dis." Thorin said, staring deeply into his sister's eyes. She saw no doubt in his, and that was what scared her. "I am."

Dis embraced her brother, holding him close. "Keep an eye on them, please. I will not make you promise anything, but they are my sons." She whispered, emotion laced within her voice.

"I know. They are my kin, too." Thorin said, releasing her. "We will not fail you. Not this time."

Weeks after her time in Radagast's cottage, Rue watched the four figures from deep within the forest. The two younger dwarves, one blonde and one brunette, both hugged the dwarrodam; Rue could only assume these were the sons she spoke of. But the older dwarf, the one with a few gray strands laced in his raven-black hair, seemed so familiar to her. She found herself predicting his movements before he made them. He shared the blue eyes of his sister, and when she saw their hue, she felt like she had known it all of her life.

Suddenly, pain sliced through her head like a knife, causing her to cry out and grip her temple. But the sound had alerted those who she watched, and the older male whipped his head around, scanning the woods for activity. Rue pressed her back to the tree to hide, biting her lip to keep from screaming out in pain.

"What is it, Uncle?" Fili asked, seeing his worry.

"Stay with your mother. Kili, come." Thorin said, beginning to creep into the forest with his nephew in tow. "We are being watched."

Rue groaned inwardly upon hearing his command, staying as still as possible. She was a ways within the forest, so she had some coverage, but something told her that these dwarves were cunning enough to investigate. With every step they took towards her, her head pounded harder than before, resembling the pain she had upon first waking in Dol Guldur. They were some kind of magnet, it seemed, that her memory desperately wanted to connect to.

Thorin and Kili were deeper in the woods than before, approaching the clearing which Rue was closest to. He beckoned his nephew to notch his arrow, who took to scanning the tops of the trees while Thorin searched at ground level. As the dwarf strung the bow, Rue wasted not another moment, scaling the tree noiselessly just as Thorin rounded the side where she once stood.

"Do you see anything?" The older dwarf said, looking back to his nephew. Rue peeked her head around the edge of the branch that concealed her face, checking her cover.

That was when the archer saw her.

Kili's bow clattered to the ground as he paled. He hadn't seen those green eyes in many moons, and he did not think them to be real. But as he blinked to confirm his suspicions, Rue concealed herself immediately. When he opened his eyes again, she was gone.

"Kili?" Thorin turned back after hearing the bow hit the ground, seeing the loss of color in his nephew's cheeks. He raced back to him as fast as he could, gripping his shoulders. "Are you alright? What did you see?" But when Thorin followed Kili's gaze, he found nothing but the green foliage of a rather large tree.

Rue heard no response, and she closed her eyes from her position in the shadows. She was surely caught, for he had recognized her as soon as he saw her eyes. Yet Rue still could not remember who had seen her, though her headache was magnifying by the minute.

"I-I don't know. Nothing."

She breathed a soundless sigh of relief, leaning once again on the branches of the tree. Still, upon seeing his reaction, Thorin was not convinced.

"Kili, you look as though you've seen a ghost."

"I... I thought I saw..." He began, but he realized how silly the notion was. His aunt was dead, and had been for over one hundred years. Saying such a thing would cause his uncle more harm than good. "Never mind. It was nothing. A large bird, probably." He ceased his ramblings as Thorin watched him carefully. "We should head back."

Although he wasn't sure he believed him, if Kili said it was nothing, then he would trust him. Thorin nodded, guiding his nephew out of the forest and back to their kin.

Once they were gone, Rue did not waste another moment. She dropped from the tree, readjusting her pack and wandering deeper into the forest, making for the Shire. Her headache eased slightly, but she was still in a great deal of pain. Whatever Gandalf thought she would get out of such an encounter, she did not know, but she knew it hadn't worked.

She did not look back.