Two - Damn Trolls

It was past dawn when we got on the road and everyone else began to take wages on if he’d turn up and we’d find out soon enough. “I said it. Didn’t I say it? Coming here was a waste of time,” Dori announced as we rode on the trail. 

“That’s true enough,” Gloin agreed with him. “Ridiculous notion. Use a Hobbit? A Halfling?” Bofur joined in. “None of you know,” I laughed and they looked at me. “Know what?”

“Wait! Wait!” Bilbo ran to us. “I signed it,” He handed the contract to Balin. I smiled at Gandalf. “Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield," Balin said, smiling and I turn back and smirk at the three who were surprised to see the Hobbit. 

“Give him a pony," Thorin said as we began moving again. “No, no. That won’t be necessary. Thank you. I’m sure I can keep up on foot. I-I’ve done my fair share of walking holidays, you know? Even got as far as Frog Morton once," Bilbo protested. Fili and Kili picked him up by his arms and put him on a pony. 

I waited for Gloin and trotted next to him. “I believe you owe me seven tharni’s,” I smirked. He rolled his eyes and pulled out the small bag from the night before and gave it to me as everyone else began tossing around small bags. 

~~~

As night fell, we stopped along a cliff. I hopped off Penrose and began to take a few things off of her to relieve her of some of the weight. 

After some struggle, Bombur made some stew and we all ate and each of us began to fall asleep except for Fili, Kili, Gandalf, Balin and myself. 

I sat next to Gandalf as Bilbo stirred awake and scurried off to the ponies. A few moments later, we hear a shriek in the distance. “What was that?” Bilbo asked, worried as my eyes were trained on mountains in the distance, “Orcs," I answered. “Orcs?” He repeated. “Throat cutters. There’ll be dozens out there," Fili explained.

 “They strike, in the wee small hours, when everyone’s asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood," Kili whispered. I rolled my eyes as Bilbo began to get noticeably scared then they laughed. “Very mature,” I said, sarcastically. 

“You think it’s funny? You think a night raid by Orcs is a joke?” Thorin asked and they stopped laughing. “We didn’t mean anything by it," Kili told him. “No you didn’t. You know nothing of the world," Thorin walked off. “Don’t mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate Orcs," Balin told them. 

“After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain we found refuge in Ilex, a city in Tiseah," He said, looking at me with a smile and I nodded to him to continue. 

“King Thror moved our people again to reclaim the Dwarf kingdom of Moria. It had been taken by Orcs led by the most vile of all their race, Azog, the Defiler, a Gundabad Orc who had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the king. Thrain, Thorin’s father, was driven mad by grief, he went missing. Defeat and death were upon us. That is when I saw him; a Dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc. He stood alone against this terrible foe. His armour rent, wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield. Azog learned the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied, and drove the Orcs back. Our enemy was defeated, but there was no feast, nor song that night. For our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few survived. I thought to myself then, there is one I could call King," They stood and looked at Thorin, who then turned to face us and walked back to us. 

“And the Pale Orc? What happened to him?” Bilbo asked, intrigued by the story. “He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago," Thorin told him, hate dripping from his voice.

Three days later, we came to a halt behind Thorin in a ruined farm. “We’ll camp here for the night. Fili, Kili, look after the ponies," Thorin said. I walked with Gandalf into what was left of a barn as the others began to make camp 

“What happened here?” I asked Gandalf. “A farmer and his family used to live here," He stated. As Thorin was giving orders, Gandalf turned to speak to him. “I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the Hidden Valley,” I looked at him in shock. Thorin wouldn’t ask for help from the Elves even if it meant his own death. “I’ve told you already. I will not go near that place," Thorin said in frustration. 

“The Elves could help us, we could get food, rest, advice-” “I do not need their advice," Thorin cut him off. “We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond could help us," Gandalf tried to reason 

“Help? A dragon attacks Erebor. What help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves looked on and did nothing! You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather, who betrayed my father," Thorin stated. “I did not give you that map and key for you to hold on to the past-" “I did not know they were yours to keep," Gandalf walked away in anger. 

“We should at least consider it. Elrond is my uncle, he would help us, I know it,” He took a step toward me and I straightened. “I will not seek aid from Elf-kind, no matter how closely related you are to them. Am I clear?” He stated bluntly. “Crystal,” I said curtly and stood there as he walked away.

~~~

“He’s been a long time. Is he coming back?” He asked me, pacing the ground “He is a wizard, Master Baggins. I’m sure he’s fine,” I told him but didn’t relax. “Do us a favour, take these to the lads," Bofur said and handed him two bowls of stew and nodded towards the ponies. 

It had been some time since Bilbo had come back and Fili and Kili were running back to camp and I ran out to them. “Where’s Bilbo?” I shouted. “Trolls took ponies and now have Bilbo,” Kili said quickly as they continued to run past me.

As soon as the words sat in, I bolted towards where they had been watching the ponies and up the hill to find Bilbo with three trolls, arguing. A few minutes later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. 

“Do you always run towards danger?” It was Fili. “It often finds its way to me before I can,” I answered and he chuckled. “They haven’t done anything except make threats to cook him. He’s hanging in one of their hands,” I said, turning to the others. “What’s the plan?” I asked. 

“I’ll go out first, then you’ll all follow,” Kili stated. “Then I suggest you do it before we no longer have a burglar,” Balin told him and Kili unsheathed his sword and ran through the bushes and slashed one on the leg twice. “Drop him!” he demanded. “You what?” one asked, confused. “I said, drop him," Kili stated clearer and the troll threw Bilbo at him. 

We jumped out from the bushes and began attacking. I stopped in front of Bilbo and Kili. “You alright?” I ask. “Never better,” Kili jolted up and joined in the fight as I turned to Bilbo and handed him one of my daggers. “Get the ponies and get out of here,” I ordered. He took off where they tied the ponies as I unsheathed my swords and began to fight the trolls. 

My eyes were trained on Bilbo and did everything I could do to ensure he stayed out of harm's way. Gandalf would come back eventually and if Bilbo was dead, it would be the end of us. Once he made it to the ponies, I turned my back and began fighting off the trolls with the rest. 

I turned to check Bilbo but he wasn’t there. I looked up to see two of the trolls gripping Bilbo by his arms and legs. “Lay down your arms! Or we’ll rip his off!” Thorin threw down his sword and we followed suit. 

Some of us were put in sacks and the others tied to a spit. Now, I’m laying on the ground next to Thorin, waiting for them to look away from us. I slowly reached for the knife in my boot. “What are you doing?” Thorin whispered. “Cutting myself out,” I answered. “They’ll tie you to the spit,” he warned. 

“They can’t do anything if they’re dead," I countered as I cut through the bindings and moved to the top of the sack. “How do you plan to kill them? Make the sun rise faster?” He asked. “That’s Esme’s specialty. Mine is pyrotechnics, among other things,” He rolled his eyes at me as I cut through the bindings and moved to the top of the sack.

Bilbo stood in his sack. They looked at him and I stopped. “Wait! You are making a terrible mistake," He said as he tried to stay on his feet. “You can’t reason with them, they’re halfwits!” Dori shouted but Bilbo ignored him. 

“I meant w-with the seasoning," he stuttered. “What about the seasoning?” The troll yelled. “Have you smelt them? You’re gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up,” Bilbo told them and the Dwarves began to argue. 

“What do you know about cooking Dwarf?” The troll asked. “Let the flurgaburburhobbit talk," the other said. “Uh… the secret to cooking Dwarf, is…” Bilbo stuttered. “Tell us the secret!” The troll demanded. 

“Ye-yes, I’m telling you. The secret is…to…skin them first!” He announced, making the Dwarves even angrier. “Get me a filleting knife," One said to the other. “Rubbish! I’ve eaten plenty with their skins on. Scoff ’em I say, boots and all!” “He’s right! Nothing wrong with a bit o’ raw Dwarf," another picked up Bombur in his sack. “Nice and crunchy," The troll held him over his mouth. 

“Uh not- not that one, he’s-he’s infected! He’s got worms in his…tubes," The troll looked disgusted and dropped Bombur. “In-in fact, they all have. They’re infested with parasites, it’s a terrible business, I wouldn’t risk it, I really wouldn’t," He told the trolls and the Dwarves argued.

“We don’t have parasites! You have parasites!” They all argued with him. “He’s keeping them from eating us,” I said to Thorin. Thorin kicked and they stopped. “I’ve got parasites as big as my arm!” “We’re riddled!” they carried on. 

“This ferret is taking us for fools!” A troll yelled. “The dawn will take you all!” Gandalf stood on the edge of a rock with the sun rising behind him. 

“Who’s that?” 

“No idea” 

“Can we eat him too?” 

Gandalf slammed his staff into the rock and it broke, exposing the trolls to sunlight and turning them to stone. They cheered as I cut myself out of the sack and helped the others.