One - Burglar?

My journey to the Shire was rather dull so I’ll save you the boredom. Once I got to the Shire, I began looking for the mark of a thief. 

It didn’t take me long when I found ponies and a green door with the mark on it and loud commotion going on inside. I smiled to myself and hopped off of Penrose. “We made it, girl,” I told her, feeding her an apple. I only took one bag in with me that had a bedroll, change of clothes, and a dagger. 

I walked up to the door and rang the bell next to it. When it opened I was greeted by Gandalf the Grey and a ruckus of Dwarves behind him. “Verena! Fili and Kili said you were coming. Most of them doubted you’d show. Come in,” he said and stepped aside. 

I had to bend down to get through the doorway, stopping myself just before a low light fixture. “It’s good to see you again, Gandalf,” I smiled at the wizard. “When the boys said the Wandering Tempest planned to join us I didn’t believe them,” Dwalin said, a bit surprised. “Hello again, Dwalin,” I smiled. 

“Ver! It’s about time, come give us a hand,” I turn from Dwalin’s to Fili and Kili struggling to set up a barrel of ale. “Goodness sake, you can’t do it on your own?” I walked over to help them. “I got it,” I told them and sat it upright on a table.

“Be careful with that!” A Hobbit ran around, trying to get everyone to put things back. “Well, he seems rather like a burglar,” I said sarcastically. “That is Bilbo Baggins, don’t you remember him?” Gandalf questions. I only met him in his youth, when Gandalf invited me to go with him to the Shire. 

“Out of all the Hobbits in the Shire, I never thought he’d be one to become overly particular about things," I told Gandalf. “He just needs a push in the right direction,” Gandalf said. “I have no doubt that he’ll be with us tomorrow morning because you’ve convinced him,” I chuckled.

~~~

“Who wants an ale?” Fili asked as he got on the table and began walking across it. I sat between Kili and Nori, declining the drink. Once they all had one, they drank. It was silent for a moment before they all started belching and I looked down the table and passed Bofur to see an irritated Bilbo. 

After we ate, I made my way over to him, “Bilbo Baggins, right?” I asked and he turned to me. “Yes, and you are?” he questions. “Verena, but everyone calls me Ver,” I told him and he looked at me in confusion. 

“Listen, I spent a few years irritated by their customs as well. I promise they aren’t all that bad. Just something to get used to. You’ll actually have some fun when you do,” I tell him with a smile. 

“I'll try to remember that, Ver,” he said, returning the smile. Nori walked by and picked up a cloth and began to walk away, “Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dish rag,” and took it from him. 

I sighed and made my way back over to the table and sat next to Balin. “Good evening Balin, how has the Blue Mountains been?” I asked, starting a conversation. We talked until a plate flew over our heads. 

Bifur caught it, Kili threw another and Bofur, Dori, Gloin and Nori clanked knives together in a consistent beat. “Can- can you not do that?! You’ll blunt them!” Bilbo yells, frustrated. 

“Ooh, you hear that lads? He says we’ll blunt the knives,” Bofur began. 

“Blunt the knives bend the forks,” Kili sang. 

“Smash the bottles and burn the Corks” Fili continued. 

“Chip the glasses and crack the plates... that's what Bilbo Baggins hates!” They sang and cleaned up together. 

By the end of the song they had the dishes cleaned and neatly stacked at the end of the table. 

There was a bang on the door and we went quiet. “He’s here,”

We stood near the door as Gandalf opens it and there stood Thorin. “Gandalf. I thought you said this place was easy to find. I lost my way, twice,” he said, walking through the door. “I wouldn’t have found it at all, had it not been for that mark on the door,” he continued. 

“Mark? There’s no mark on that door, it was painted a week ago!” Bilbo exclaimed and looked at the door as Thorin took off his cloak and looked around without noticing me. 

“There is a mark, I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield," Gandalf introduced them. “So, this is the Hobbit,” Thorin began. 

“Have you done much fighting, Mr. Baggins?” Thorin asked. “Pardon me?” Bilbo asked, confused. “Axe or sword, as your weapon of choice?” Thorin asked. 

“Well I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know. But I fail to see why that’s relevant," he said. “Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar," Thorin stated and the Dwarves laughed.

“Give him a chance,” I spoke up and they looked at me. “You never know what he might be capable of,” I stated. “Verena, I didn’t think you’d come,” He said, surprised. “Really? What made you think that?” I asked. 

“I assumed someone would’ve talked you out of it,” He said as we walked back into the kitchen, “Cleos knows better, and I didn’t say enough to the others to give them a chance,” I sat in a chair against the wall on his right and Thorin nodded. 

“What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they come?” Balin asked “Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms," Thorin told him. “And what did the Dwarves of the Iron Hill say? Is Dain with us?” Dwalin asked, eagerly. “They will not come. They say this quest is ours, and ours alone," Thorin sighed. 

“You’re doing a quest?” Bilbo asked. “Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light," Gandalf said. As Bilbo left the room, Gandalf took out a map “Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak," Bilbo returned with a candle and looked at the map. 

“The Lonely Mountain,” He read. “Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time," Gloin stated. “Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold. When the birds of the old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end," Oin continued. 

“What beast?” Bilbo asked uneasily. “That would be a reference to Smaug, the terrible. Chiefest and greatest calamity of our age," Bofur explained. “Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals-” “Yes, I know what a dragon is," Bilbo cut him off and Ori stood. “I’m not afraid, I’m up for it. I’ll give him a taste of the dwarvish iron right up his jacksie!” Ori yelled as they cheered. “Sit down,” Dori pushed him back into his seat. 

“The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest," Balin said, looking around. “We may be few in number. But we’re fighters, all of us! To the last Dwarf!” Fili slammed his hand on the table. 

“We have a wizard and the Wandering Tempest in our company, both will have killed hundreds of dragons in their time,” Kili continued. My eyes widened at the statement as they started talking over each other. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t say-” Gandalf started “How many then?” Dori asked. “What?” Gandalf and I said, a bit startled. “How many dragons have you killed?” Dori asked and Gandalf and I look at each other. “Go on, give us a number!” Dori yelled as they began to argue and I sat back and sighed. 

“Enough!” Thorin stood. “If we’ve read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread; Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected, do we sit back while others claim what is ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?” They cheered at Thorin's words.

“The front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain," Balin said. “That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true," Gandalf held a key. “How came you by this?” Thorin asked. “It was given to me by your father for safekeeping. It is yours now," Gandalf handed the key to Thorin. 

“If there is a key, there must be a door," Fili said and Gandalf nodded. “These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls," Gandalf said. “There’s another way in," Kili nudged his brother, “Dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer is hidden in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But, there are others in Middle Earth who can.” Gandalf looked at Thorin. 

“The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But if we’re careful and clever, I believe that it can be done," Gandalf said with hope. 

“That’s why we need a burglar," Ori said. “An expert, I’d imagine," Bilbo stated. “And are you?” Gloin asked. “Am I what?” Bilbo asked. “He said he’s an expert!” Oin cheered. “Me? No, No, No, I-I’m not a burglar. I’ve never stolen a thing in my life," Bilbo defended. 

“I’m afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He’s hardly burglar material," Balin said. “Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves," Dwalin agreed and the Dwarves began to argue again. 

“Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!” Everything shook and went dark, then it calmed again. “Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose, and while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of a Dwarf, the scent of a Hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage," Gandalf continued.

“You asked me to find the thirteenth, now fourteenth, member of this company. I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There’s a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he has a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on this,” Gandalf and Thorin look at each other. 

“Very well. We will do it your way,” Thorin said. “No! No!” Bilbo protested. “Give him the contract,” Thorin told Balin and he got out a folded paper and stood, giving the contract to Thorin and passing it to Bilbo. “It’s just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth,” Balin summarised. 

“Funeral arrangements?” Bilbo asked. “Just read through it a bit, it’ll tell you all the mission entails and possible outcomes,” I told him. He walked into the hall and read it as I stood to lean in the doorway and listen to Bilbo list off everything. 

“The present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to lacerations. Evisceration? Incineration?” he said and turned to us. 

“Oh, aye, he’ll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye,” Bofur deadpanned. “You alright, laddie?” Balin asked “Huh? Yeah, I fe-I feel a bit faint,” Bilbo hesitantly said. 

“Think furnace, with wings!” Bofur said. “I think he understands, Bofur,” I sat up off of the wall and touched Bilbo's shoulder. “Are you alright?” I asked. “I-I-I need air," he struggled, hunched over. “Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You’re nothing more than a pile of ash!” Bofur said enthusiastically. 

“Bofur, shut it!” I shouted. Bilbo stood fully, turned to the rest and smiled. “Nope," He collapsed backwards and I barely caught him. “Oh, very helpful, Bofur," Gandalf said, sarcastically.

~~~

We sat him in the study and I made some tea and sat the cup next to him and found him awake now. “You alright?” I asked him. “Yes, thank you,” He said, picking up the cup. “I just need to sit quietly for a moment," He said. 

“You’ve been sitting quietly for far too long,” Gandalf chastised. “Tell me, when did doilies and your mother’s dishes become so important to you?" He continued. “I think I’ll just leave the two of you,” I backed out of the room.

I sat down at a table in the living area and heard footsteps behind me. “Was it something I said?” Bofur asked from behind me. “You were a bit harsh,” I let out a dry laugh as he sat next to me. “Poor lad, hope I didn’t scare him off,”

I looked down the hall to see Bilbo walk out of the study and Gandalf walking our way. “Will he come?” Gloin asked. “He says he won’t now but that doesn’t mean he’ll feel the same tomorrow,” Gandalf said. “He’ll come,” I chuckled. “He just said he won’t, it’s clear he won’t,” Gloin said. 

“Willing to bet on it?” I asked. “Yes, yes I am,” he said, equally as confident and pulled out a small bag. “seven tharni’s,” he stated and I did the same. “Very well,”