S E V E N

Karaoke And An Obvious Toupee

June and Jackson were sitting in a chair outside, June in his lap. Lenny and Eric were teaching Greg basketball and Sally and Roxanne were playing the horseshoe toss with Becky.

"Roxanne, look at him." Sally pointed at bean who was drinking from a milk carton "it's like he totally forgot about me."

"Typical man. They take all you can give and then they trade you in for some cow." Roxanne playfully rolled her eyes, "Yeah but I don't know what I'm supposed to do with these now." Sally motioned to her breast

"You could pump your milk into bags and sell it to other mothers." June suggested playing with Jackson hair

"I can do that?" Sally asked her she nodded "Yeah. Or you could donate it."

Sally hummed in thought, "Now, see that, buddy?" Lenny said making the basketball shot, "I did the old bank shot. Banks open." Eric tossed him the ball, "pick a spot. Aim for it." Lenny shot the basket ball and made it, "Oh, yeah. Your dad will go 50 for 50 with these." Eric told Greg

"Really?" Greg raised his eyebrows, "Because on the Wii, the bank shot never works." Lenny made another shot "yeah? Well, you should Wii-turn it and get a Wii-fund. Tim Duncan's had about a hundred game winners that that bad boy." Eric said and passed the ball to Lenny

"Honey, are you watching me?" Lenny asked turning around. Roxanne looked up at him and he made the basket backwards "Oh, baby that was hot." Roxanne smiled

Lenny then called Greg over and showed him how to do it "see the box right there? Top right corner of it?" Lenny asked, "Hello?" He said when Greg didn't answer

He looked over and saw Greg staring at jasmines butt "Focus, boy, focus. Get off of that." He then turned and saw Eric staring too, "Lamonsoff, focus." He snapped his fingers

"Oh, my god, what a perv. He's totally checking me out." Bridget said shaking her head "Alright, come on." Lenny said getting Gregg's mind back on basketball, "Go ahead."

Greg took the shot and made it "Are you kidding me? Respect." Lenny smile and high fives his so, "See how good you can be when you wear normal people clothes?"

~🌻~

Jackson and June had left the lakehouse that night and went to a lodge building. They had made out some, they also found alcohol and drunk some. June more than Jackson cause he wanted to be able to take care of her, especially since it was night.

The adults had gone out about an hour after they did not knowing they were out there. Marcus had scolded June but she was laughing at him from being tipsy and since he was also tipsy he found it funny as well.

June was drunkly singing Take It Off by Kesha that she had playing before the adults came in. She called it karaoke even though there wasn't actually a karaoke machine and she was just singing along with the song.

"Okay you're hogging the music. I wanna pick." Marcus said drunkly and turned her music off, she frowned at him.

Marcus went over poured shots and took them while Jackson sat down and pulled June to sit down with him.

"Alright, I did everybody's first shot for them. Now you do the second one. come on, now." Marcus said

"Ooh!" June tried to get up but Jackson tightened his grip on her, "No you're drinking this." He said and gave her water.

The other adults declined the shots, "No, nobody's doing shots. We got little kids here, dummy. Gotta wake up in the morning." Lenny laughed at him

"We're gonna biz beers instead. Who's got beer? Check them off." Marcus then said

"I'm gonna go with one." Lenny laughed, "yeah, I'll stick with coffee." Eric agreed

"I want a s'more." June whispered to Jackson, "You want a s'more?" He smiled. She nodded, "Okay you go get yourself a s'more than, sweetheart." She smiled and walked over and grabbed a marshmallow.

The other adults declined drinking anymore than they were as well, "What's wrong with you guys? We used to come up here and party, man, and get wasted." Marcus said sitting down

"Don't worry, you'll grow up one day, Higgie. You just have to meet the right girl." Sally told him

June put the s'more together, "oh, my older sister would be perfect for you." Gloria said. June paused mid-bite and looked at her "she legally blind, but she can see shapes."

"Anyways, Roxanne, how did you and Lenny meet?" Deanne asked, "good question." Marcus laughed, "How did this blob of crap, no offence, meet this lovely señorita?"

"Oh, he came into the department store where I was working. I helped him. He wanted me to try this skirt on." Roxanne laughed

"Oh, the old 'try on the skirt' trick. I got you. Very sneaky, sis." Deanne smiled

"Yeah, he did trick me. Because afterwards he made me try on a bra and—hey, I was just trying to help." Roxane shrugged and smiled

"Gross." Jackson mumbled with a smile "okay, okay. I did like him a little." Roxanne smiled

Lenny smiled, "it was a good day."

"Oh, god! Oh, my water. My waters breaking." Deanne said and stood up as water hit the ground, "The baby's coming!" Deanne said. The adults stood up in a panic

"Oh!" Deanne groaned, "Oh, yeah." She then smiled and turned around holding her water bottle up and laughed at the rest of them. "I got you, I got you, I got you."  She laughed

Sentimental Lady by Bob Welch started playing and Marcus gasped "oh, my god, it's...Do you know this song? Oh, this songs the best." Marcus said

"Oh, this song gets me so horny." Gloria told them. They looked at her in shock "you know, I was thinking that, but now not so much." Deanne said

"I'd like to claim credit for that." Rob stood up. June crawled over and sat at Jackson legs "because that's all part of my "get some nookie" playlist."

They laughed at him, "Get the ladies on the dance floor, and I got my lady right here. Come on, honey." Rob said and pulled Gloria up

"Oh! That was a good move." Eric smiled "Come on, sugarplum." Jackson mumbled and pulled June up, "Don't you ever call me sugarplum again." She said standing

"What? I'm trying out pet names. Don't judge me." Jackson told her. She smiled and laid her head on his chest

The other couples got up and danced as well, and Marcus danced with his beer, "why are they dancing like that?" June asked looking at Rob and Gloria

Jackson laugh softly, "I don't know. They're weird?" He mumbled and kissed the top of her head.

She looked up at him and smiled. He slid his hand up to her cheek and leaned in the kiss her, "I'm horny, too!" Marcus said putting a deer head between them to stop the kiss. He made kissing noises at them using the deer.

"Oh, Higgins let them be." Lenny told him, "dad, get out of here." June groaned and hit the top of his head "Ow!" Marcus winced as he fell.

Lenny and Roxanne laugh and June pulled Jackson down into a kiss

~🌻~

Jackson and June laid in bed on their backs panting softly, "Well, that was fun." June whispered and pulled the blanket up over her chest more

He looked at her and smiled. She leaned over and kissed him.

"I'm thirsty." She said "me too, come on." Jackson sat up and grab his sweatpants and slid them on.

June grabbed her panties and his shirt and slide them on. "My dad's on the couch so please don't wake him up. Not that he would considering how drunk he was." June said and left the room.

Jackson laughed and followed her. They got to the kitchen and saw Lenny and Eric in there drinking water. The froze.

"What?" Eric looked at them confused. They looked at them and noticed Junes flushed cheeks and messy hair and smiled amused, "Oh." Lenny laughed quietly.

"What? We didn't do anything." June said and walked over to the fridge, "Don't tell my dad." She said quickly looking at them.

They laughed quietly at her, "Alright alright. Were you at least safe? Did you use a condom?" Lenny asked

"Yeah I took one from your bag." Jackson said, "Oh, well. I guess it's better you have used it tonight than me." Lenny shrugged

"What am I?" They heard Gloria "a hoseteaser." Rob told her

June raised her eyebrows and Lenny and Eric laughed again, "And where are you from?" Gloria asked "Sakatchetoon." Rob said

They looked out the window and over where Gloria and Rob were sleeping.

"And what am I?" Gloria asked again "a hoseteaser." Rob repeated

"And where are you from?" Gloria asked "Sakatchetoon." Rob said

They laughed again, "Okay what are we gonna do with your dad?" Lenny looked at June "when he gets this drunk, I usually throw a blanket over him and leave him on the couch and deal with him in the morning."

"You know what? This is what pisses me off, you can't be passed out drunk, single, with little to no responsibility and not pay for it." Eric said as they walk over to Marcus

"You have to be hurt for that." Lenny agreed

"Sweetheart, you fell asleep on the couch again." Eric said changing his voice " you know you're supposed to go to your room." Lenny said and slapped his forehead

"No!" Marcus groaned and covered his face. June laughed a little "Marcus, the bird is all better. Marcus. He wants to talk to you." Lenny said and imitated bird wings in Marcus face.

"Marcus, you're gonna be the best lifeguard at the whole pool."Lenny said "hold your breath, honey." Eric said and Lenny pinch Marcus nose shut.

After a short second Marcus snorted from his nose being shut. They laughed "who's that?" Marcus asked half asleep, "it's mommy's boyfriend. The one who touches you." Lenny said

Lenny whistled and walked his fingers of Marcus face. Marcus then started crying, "He's crying." They laughed

"Mama?" Marcus mumbled "it's okay precious. I'm gonna take you upstairs sweetie." Eric said and picked him up "you can't just sleep anywhere, you know that." Lenny said and walked over and open the closet door, "this is your bedroom." Lenny whisper and Eric took him in

"It's also your bathroom. You can make a pee-pee." Lenny told him, "I'm making a pee-pee." Marcus mumbled out.

June laughed and went back to the room with Jackson.

~🌻~

The next morning they rose the flag for the 4th of July and let the bird go minus Marcus who was still asleep.

June was waiting for Jackson to put his swim suit on cause she wanted to go swimming. She was making a hangover smoothie for Marcus.

The moms plus robs daughter and Gloria were in the kitchen cooking and sewing clothes. Roxanne started yelling at the machine in Spanish.

"That's so sexy. What did you say?" Sally asked

"Oh, I think she said," Deanne to imitate Roxanne's and ended with "Milan."  They all laughed at her.

"You know, these guys at the store were talking so much smack about this basketball rematch that's supposed to go on." Amber said

"Well, I'm glad we're getting these uniforms ready." Roxanne said and then Marcus walked out of the closet Eric and Lenny had put him in.

"Oh. No more drinkie." He groaned, "did you really sleep in the closet, you drunk?" Roxanne asked. June laughed a little at her father

Marcus groan and laughed a little, "I think so." He pulled his shirt opened and saw Sally's breast pump stuck to him, "No." he pulled it off and winced. "Ow."

"Oh, I had the sexiest dream about a little blonde girl though. Hey—yi." Marcus laughed and then curly walked out of the closet "I think it was a dream."

"Oh, dad, you are a mess." June walked over and handed him the smoothie. "Thank you sweetie." He kiss her head and walked outside.

Jackson walked down. June pulled his hand and walked out the house. "Took you long enough."

They walk down to the water and got in, "You're so pretty." Jackson smiled, "What do you want?" June smiled at him while treading water.

"Please don't watch anymore episodes of pretty little liars without me." He smiled, "What? I can't just not watch it." June laughed

"Well, no, I mean you don't have to not watch it. We can call every... What day does a new episode come out?" He asked her "Tuesday."

"Okay we'll call every Tuesday night and watch it." Jackson said. June smiled, "okay fine."

"See, this is why you're the best." He said and tugged her towards him and kissed her.

They pulled apart when they heard shouting from Rob and Marcus, "Oh, god what did my dad do now?" June rolled her eyes and swam towards the latter and got out, Jackson following.

They followed Lenny, Kurt, and Eric up to the sitting area that was also a dock

"Robbie, wait!" Lenny yelled at him and he and Kurt pulled him off. Marcus was up on the railing holding on to the flag pole and Rob hit him with a game board.

"Calm down, buddy." Marcus said, "Dad what did you do?" June asked him, "What? How do you know I did it?" Marcus looked at her

"Uh, hello?" She motion to what had just happened, "He slept with jasmine!" Rob caused him jabbing a finger at Marcus and then kicked him in the crotch. Marcus let out a scream and fell to his knees. Rob then let out a scream and grabbed his foot.

"Oh, yeah. Arrow foot." Lenny said , "Wait, dad you slept with his daughter?" June asked

"No!" Marcus said

"Yes!" Rob nodded and then looked at Marcus "How could you do that? That's my daughter." Rob glared at him

"You really think I would do that to you?" Marcus looked at him in shock, "I mean, out of any of us you'd be the one to do that." Lenny said

"You did sleep with Stimpson's mother." Kurt added "I didn't even know that guy! He was your friend! I barely knew him!" Marcus said "She grabbed my wiener, I told you guys."

Junes face scrunched up, "That's his daughter. It's different." Marcus said.

Jasmine then ran up, "Me and him?" She scoffed, "Okay. Maybe I flirted with him, but that was just to get your attention." Jasmine looked at Rob

"Well, what about his snoring?" Rob asked "I heard it too." Amber said coming up with them next

Rob turned and glared at Marcus again and then kicked him, "oh, no. Twice?" Marcus groaned

"We heard it from three rooms away." Bridget said "well, then he's off the hook. You know Marcus wouldn't be with your daughter." Lenny motioned to Bridget, Rob looked at him

"I mean, not that she's...you know what I'm saying." Lenny said

"Well what happened to your head?" Rob asked pointing to the cut on jasmines forehead. "While I was changing into my PJs, I got the feeling that some perv was looking through my window, so I went to go close the shade and I tripped and hit my head." She explained

"Yeah, dude, that's your daughter. I'd never be with her. You're my best friend, man. I get it. I have my own daughter. I don't even like Jackson near her like he is right now." Marcus looked at them.

"And Jasmine would never be with me, cause I'm me." The moms ran up "look, sorry I don't have my, uh, whole life together, like Lenny."

Roxanne scoffed, "oh, together, like Lenny. Ha, please? I answered your phone, hipócrita. It was your assistant. I asked him if he canceled the flight to Milan. And he said he did. Before we even came here!"

Lenny's eyes widen, "He said that? Why would he say that?"

"Oh, so he just made that up, huh?" Roxanne asked, "I'm not saying that he made it up. I'm thinking—in his head he believes it's true." Lenny said

Roxanne walked over to him, "Don't you agent me, Lenny." She shook her finger at him, "stop trying to handle everybody and everything, and start taking a little responsibility for once."

"I'll take responsibility. Okay? You're right. I thought it would be better for our family to be here with normal people instead of going to Milan." Lenny admitted

"We're normal?" Deanne asked confused

"I was scared to tell you. It was easier for me to keep it a secret." Lenny said softly, "you peel back any marriage, there are secrets." Eric chimed in

Sally glared at him, "And mine is I love you. I love you very much." Eric quickly said

"Roxanne, I just—I—our kids are becoming nutty, snotty, spoiled...We got a nanny, we got," Kurt cut Lenny off, "So she is a nanny." He smiled amused

"No, no, no. She's not a nanny." Lenny denied. Roxanne rolled her eyes, "Of course she's a nanny. When does the lying stop?"

"It stops right after this." Lenny then turned to Kurt, "She's more of an au pair. Not really a nanny."

June chuckled softly at his excuse, "Isn't that just a fancier way of saying nanny?" She whisper to Jackson, "Yes." He nodded

"Lenny." Roxanne scolded

"Alright. That's it. The lying stops now. I won't lie to you ever again. I swear to god. I love you." Lenny promised

"Men lie!" Mama Ronzoni called from up at the porch "they can't help themselves. Kurt sure as hell lies." They all looked at Kurt "What do I lie about, Toe-J Simpson?" Kurt asked

Deanne scoffed, "Oh, please. The nanny." She motioned to Rita

"What about the nanny?" Kurt asked "you have a thing for her." Deanna threw her hands up

"I do not have a thing for the nanny. I'm a married man. Period. But did I enjoy a nice conversation with a woman that wasn't going, "where's this?" And "did you pick up that?" Yeah." Kurt nodded

"What, you can have nice conversations with me." Deanne told him, "when?" Kurt asked "you're always working. And when you come home you're just tired all the time. You barely even touch me or look at me."

"He sounds like an old woman!" Mama Ronzoni chimed in "Deanna, you should have married Umberto Denunzio. Like I told you."

"Yeah, and you know if I had stayed with him you'd be the one that pregnant right now, mama." Deanna called back. Mama Ronzoni laughed, "you probably right, sweetheart. I'll just butt out."

"Thank you!" Kurt said and then turned to his wife "look, maybe I do take you for granted, and I'm sorry. How's about I take you out every Thursday for date night." Deanne suggested

"No. Thursday is Greys Anatomy, but any other night would be beautiful." Kurt said

"Well," Eric sighed, "And as long as we're all being honest, I think I should be honest too. I'm actually, uh, not a part owner of the lawn furniture store. I don't even work there anymore. I got laid off in April. But I rented the Caddy, and I acted like, you know, a big shot because I don't want you guys to know." Eric sighed

"Lamonsoff. You don't have to hide anything from us. I'm sorry." Lenny said softly

"Yeah. Since we're getting thing off our chests here, uh, I got a confession to make." Rob said

"You're gay?" June immediately guessed. The dads laughed, "What? No! Why would you think that?" Rob looked at her

"You just kind of give off a gay vibe." June shrugged, "Oh my god I can see that." Deanne smiled

"No. I'm not gay. I'm wearing a toup." Rob said

"No, shit." Rita rolled her eyes, "yeah that was kind of obvious." June mumbled

"I have a confession to make." Gloria announced next "I'm really a man."

June gasp. They all started talking about the shock of Gloria being "a man"

"No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm really a little hurt that so many of you believed it." Gloria said "nevertheless. I know it's not my place, but, uh...well, after all, I am older than anyone here."

"Hell, yeah, you are!" Mama Ronzoni cut in again.

"Well, despite the joking and the razzing, I see a lot of love here. And with love comes hospitality. Like, uh, Rob when he snapped at me the other day. That was scary. And you all thought that I was so calm, but inside? Inside I was saying, "Gloria Noonan, do not call him a bug-eyes sociopath with a little-man complex." June laughed softly

"Do not say that his hair makes him look like a dirty Q-tip"

"I like that." Lenny laughed

"Or that he resembles an elder gay Jonas brother." Flora said

They laughed, "They get it. They get the point of where you're going." Rob tried to stop her.

"Or a midget Filipino Fonzie. I didn't say any of those things." Gloria said

"That's my favourite one." Deanne laughed. "Life can be difficult sometimes." Gloria continued, "it gets bumpy, what with family and kids and things not going exactly like you planned. But that's what makes it interesting. In life, the first act, always exciting. The second act, that's where the depth comes in."

"Why didn't you ever tell us that she gets it?" Marcus looked at Rob "that what I've been trying to tell you guys." Rob said and limped over to Gloria "that was beautiful honey. That was beautiful."

"Group hug!" Marcus said and they all hugged now feeling better that there was no lies between them.