Chapter 46

I unbuckle Mackenzie from his car seat while Simon gets the pull up cot and everything else from the boot. He then opens the door and I follow after him.

I walk inside the big house and suddenly all the memories came flashing back to me. I stood in the hallway looking around my old home.

Simon: You okay?

Me: Yeah sorry I just miss it here.

Simon: Well you and Mackenzie are welcome anytime.

I smile at him and then look into the living room to see the rest of the guys. Simon walks over there so I follow him.

Ethan: Were going to film a video in a bit Kay. You can watch if you want.

Me: I'll just sit in the kitchen or something. Just incase Mackenzie wakes up and ruins the video.

The boys all nod and place Mackenzie on a beanbag that was lying on the floor. I look outside the window into the back garden and see a big German Shepard running around.

I missed Beans so much. We've known each other for so long. I walk over to the sliding door and open it. His head turning to look at the door and he stood still for a second. He then darted towards me and jumped up on me licking my face.

Me: Hello Beans, I've missed you.

I did feel bad for leaving him with the guys. He was my dog after all. Beans jumps down and walks inside and over to the baby. Me and the guys watch him carefully just to make sure nothing happens.

He starts to sniff Mackenzie and then licks his face which causes him to wake up. Mackenzie starts crying and Beans backs away from him and over to me. Simon gets up and walks over to Mackenzie picking him up and cradling him.

Simon: Shhh.

Me: I think he needs changing.

Simon walks over to the hall way and gets out Mackenzies nappy bed and things to change him. He looked like he was handling it well so I left him to it and sat down on the sofa.

Vik: Have you spoken to your mum since you left?

Me: Nah, I dropped contact with everyone and started over again.

Vik: She always says how she misses you. She got really worried when you left.

Tobi: All of us did.

Me: Look I'm sorry. I really wish I hadn't have left. There wasn't a day that went by where I wouldn't think about you.

Josh: It's okay Kay, we know you were just doing it to protect us and yourself.

The front door opens and Charlie walks in looking at Simon and Mackenzie on the floor.

Charlie: Who's fucking baby is that?

Simon picks up Mackenzie and shows Charlie with a smile on his face.

Simon: This is Mackenzie. My baby.

Charlie: But you haven't been with anyone since - oh.

Charlie pauses as he realises the truth and looks over at me in the living room. A smile comes across his face and he runs towards me giving me a hug.

Charlie: Where the fuck have you been!

He laughed. He really did miss me. All the boys did.

Me: I'm living in the over side of London. Me and Mackenzie live in a little flat. It's quite nice actually.

Charlie: So you're going to start visiting now?

I stand back and sigh. What if Garrys still got people after me. I couldn't risk that for Mackenzie.

Simon: You are aren't you Lee?

Me: Erm yeah. Of course.

JJ: You don't sound too sure about that.

Me: I just don't want to put Mackenzie in any danger.

JJ: You think we will put him in danger?

Me: No of course not you. Look JJ I'm sorry for leaving you, I'm sorry for leaving all of you. Now if you want you can throw me in the pool again.

JJ: I'm not mad at you Kaylee. I'm just scared of you getting hurt.

Me: JJ I'll be fine. I always am, you know me I've been through a lot of shit and look at me. I'm fine.

JJ: Alright then. I suppose we better get on with the video.

Simon hands me Mackenzie while Charlie sets up the cameras. They start the video so I go over to the kitchen and start making the boys some food.

I put all the plates of food on the table ready for the boys. I've only ever cooked for myself so cooking for another 8 people was quite difficult.

The boys all come in and see the food on the table.

Ethan: Who fucking knew Kaylee could cook.

They all laugh and we sit down tucking into our food.

Me: So have you guys got any girlfriends or anything like that?

Harry: I'm still going out with Katie, you know the one I told you about in Italy.

Me: Oh yeah she lives back in your home town doesn't she.

Harry: Yeah she does but she comes here a few times.

Me: What about everyone else?

Vik: I've got a girlfriend actually.

Me: Oh really. What's her name?

Vik: Ellie. She's really nice, she knows a lot about you.

Me: I can't wait to see her.

Josh: I've got a girl too. We've been together for a year now. Her names Freya.

Me: I should really meet all of them. Like we could all meet up together. What about the rest of you?

Charlie: I had a girl but I don't know. She just left, it broke my heart.

Me: But Charlie there's always someone better for you. You should know that.

Charlie: Yeah I guess.

Ethan: I've just stayed single.

Tobi: Same. Just waiting for the right person.

Me: Good but you can't just go out finding love when your 67.

Ethan: You never know. We could become sugar daddies and get a sexy young woman.

We all laugh at Ethans response.

Me: JJ? Anyone special?

JJ: Nah not really. Got a lot of pussy but no one special.

Me: What about Chloe? Thought you two were going well.

JJ: Nah not really. She just didn't seem right for me.

Me: That's a shame. What about you Simon?

Simon: Oh, erm no actually. Just kind of kept to myself.

Simon says playing with his food and not looking up at me.

Ethan: He hasn't even spoken to a girl since you left.

Me: Yeah me neither to be honest. I just want Mackenzie to be happy.

Simon: Wait you haven't seen anyone?

Me: Nah, there has been a few guys chat me up at work but I just ignored them. Shit talking about work I have to go tomorrow.

I stand up and walk over to the sink and start to wash everyone's dishes.

Vik: You must be knackered looking after Mackenzie and working all the time.

Me: Yeah but we get through it.

I glance over at Mackenzie who was happily playing in his baby bouncer.

Simon: Why don't you go to sleep now then. I'll look after Mackenzie now and tomorrow when you go to work.

Me: Are you sure? It's a lot of hard work and you're not very experienced.

Simon: Neither was you when you gave birth to him.

Me: Fair enough. As long as he gets back to me in one piece then I don't have a problem.

I taught Simon the simple things to do to become a dad. Things like changing a nappy and sterilising bottle, making milk and things like that and he started to get the hang of it.

We were both upstairs with the baby in my arms sat in my bedroom.

Simon: Can you sleep in my room tonight please?

Me: How come daddy?

Simon: Right for starters don't ever call me daddy ever again and I don't know. I've missed you and I feel like there's still something there. Do you?

I look at him and smile.

Me: Of course I do Simon.

Simon: Great so we can have a sleepover. I'll move the cot into my room.

Me: We can leave Kenzie in here and have the baby monitor on.

Simon: No I want him in the room just so I can keep an eye on him.

Me: Okay then.

We get up and go over to Simon's room. It's exactly how I remembered it. Same layout and everything.

Me: Oh shit I forgot my pyjamas.

Simon: You work so hard on Mackenzie that you forget about yourself.

Me: Yeah I guess so. But it's okay because I want Mackenzie to have his best life ever.

Simon: I've got that Winnie the Pooh onesie that you got me for Christmas Eve. You can wear that if you want.

Me: Alright then.

He passes me the onesie and I put it on while he sorts the cot out. He then picks up Mackenzie and kisses his forehead and then places him down in the cot.

Me: You know I think you are the best dad ever.

Simon: But I've only known him for a day.

Me: But still. I told you he was your child and you didn't run away. That's some brave shit right there Si. And you treat him like a little prince. He's lucky to have you.

Simon: And I'm lucky to have him. Anyways I'm gonna go and edit, you get some sleep okay.

I agree and lie down in his bed. I slowly start to close my eyes. I can't believe I've found them again. Well I knew exactly where they were but I'm so happy Simon actually isn't mad about Mackenzie.

I've never stopped thinking about Simon more importantly. I still know I have feelings for him and I know he feels the same. If only we had the guts to ask each other back out.

I wake up to the baby crying again. I turn over and see Simon stood up with Mackenzie in his hands rocking him back to sleep. I smile and feel myself fall back to sleep myself. Something I haven't gotten the chance to do in a while.