(Chapter Ten)

It had been a week since Shawn left and I had been staying at Lauren's and Normani's place. Normani had to go back to work because she had fallen behind some fashion article. Dinah and Ally were at work as well, Leaving me and Lauren to spend every second together for the past 7 days. We got extremely close and all my walls had fallen down. We talked about nothing and everything, My trust in her was something I had never had before not even with Shawn there were some things I just couldn't tell him but with Lauren everything was so different, I was comfortable with her. She made me feel safe and she never judged me.

Last night her and Lucy got into a pretty heated fight just outside the apartment, Dinah being the nosy person she is had told us the fight was because of me and that I was the reason they didn't spend any time together. It made me feel bad but happy that Lauren chose me instead of her girlfriend. But I didn't want to cause any more problems between them so I urged Lauren to spend today with her beautiful girlfriend, she hesitated but agreed. I was seating on her couch watching Netflix waiting for all of them to come home so we could all hangout. I felt useless sometimes, I was the only one that didn't have a job or a hobby or really anything. I was too dependent of Shawn and that scared me because I felt that without him I was nothing.

I was watching "A walk to remember" bawling my eyes out when I heard the front door unlock and footsteps approaching me.

"Hey" I heard the raspy voice say. "Lauren!" I yelled tears streaming down my face as the last scene of the movie ended, that movie always got to me. "Whoah whoah are you okay?" the concerned green eyed girl asked as she embraced me in a hug. "Yeah I was just finishing up the movie, you know how emotional I get" I laughed a little letting go of her. "Yeah, you sure are a sensitive little person" Lauren said poking my nose. The little things she did always made my heart flutter in a way no one else had ever achieved.

"How was the date?" I asked taking a seat on the couch again as the beautiful girl sat next to me. "Eh, It was alright. Lucy is trying really hard but she's more.. Clingy now. It's kinda annoying actually." she shrugged, she started going through all the movie titles on Netflix trying to avoid eye contact with me. "Well, she really likes you and she messed up before. She just wants you back I guess like the way you were in the past. Like you said you were really into her and now you're just like whatever. That probably gets to her." I said trying not to sound annoyed. "I guess, but feelings change and I'm not too sure I'm into her in that way anymore" Lauren admitted turning to look at me a warm smile on her beautiful face.

My heart took a dive into another world and I was feeling a blissful sensation all through my body, hearing that Lauren had no feelings for Lucy gave me hope. But, hope for what?

"Whoah you just zoned out so hard" I heard her laugh. I instantly blushed thinking how stupid I must of looked. Thinking about Lauren in that way scared me, but also made me happy. She made me feel something I haven't felt in so long, Loved.

"Yo yo yo, Are you guys ready for tonight?" I heard Dinah screaming as she entered the apartment with Normani and Ally behind her. "Can you not enter the house so loud all the time?" I heard Lauren say from the floor where she was laying down. "What are you doing there?" I heard Ally chuckle. "It's comfy, Normani I told you to not give Dinah a copy of the key now we really won't get rid of her" Lauren laughed, they gave Dinah a copy of their apartment key a few days ago. Dinah was basically here 24/7 and it made sense for her to get a copy. At this point my guess was that she was dating Mani but they didn't want anyone to know even though we all knew.

"The nerve" I heard Dinah say as she entered her and Normani's room. "Shut up Lauren, leave her alone" I heard normani say back as she followed Dinah into the room the door closing behind them. "Anyways, is Lucy coming with us?" I heard Ally ask Lauren, my face started to get hot and the jealousy I felt was getting harder to hide. "Yeah, she insisted of coming with us to get to know you guys better" Lauren responded looking at me with a worried look on her face. Why did she care if Lucy liked us or not if she didn't even have feelings for her? I was so confused by all of this, girls were such a mess I thought.

After a few hours of joking around with Dinah and Normani about them dating and Ally trying to say how she would be the one who would marry them we all got ready to go out we were waiting for the final guest to arrive, Lucy. I was feeling anxious and jealous and just all sorts of things I was not ready to watch Lauren and Lucy be all lovey dovey with each other. "Normani please be nice, Just be civil at least." I heard Lauren warn Normani, she just rolled her eyes and kept talking with Dinah and Ally. "Are you okay with this?" Lauren asked me, her face a few inches away from me her green eyes were even greener under this light and my heart started to raise.

"Yeah why wouldn't I?' I managed to say. "Just making sure I don't want this to affect our friendship or anything. I don't know I just want you to be comfortable" she said squeezing my arm slightly, before I could say anything else the doorbell rang and she turned around to face the door not before giving Normani another friendly threat. The door opened and there she was the beaufitul brunette girl, She was wearing a blue short dress and her hair was tied back making her face visible to everyone, her legs were long and tan and the heels made her a little shorter than Lauren but taller than me. She was so beautiful no wonder Lauren was dating her, I saw as she gave Lauren a quick kiss on the lips and entered the partment.

"Hey" Lucy waved at all of us. Normani couldn't hide her feelings and she did a very loud shrug rolling her eyes, I saw Dinah tug on her arm. "Hey i'm Dinah" she introduced herself to the girl. "And I am Ally, nice to meet you. You're gorgeous" the short girl said on her nice manner, as always. "This is Camila" Lauren introduced me Lucy following behind her. "I think we have met before, kinda" Lucy said giving me a fake smile. She took Lauren's hand and threw a threating look my way, was she jealous of me?

We arrived at the bar and we all took a seat on the booth. Lucy, Lauren and I were on one side and Ally, Normani, and Dinah on the other. We could all feel the awkward vibe and Dinah ordered our round of shots to ease the mood a little. I had to order some food because I was starving this girls had nothing on the fridge besides beer and cheese and a lot of junk food. I could see them starting to get slightly drunk I was the DD today so I kept ordering food instead. Dinah and Normani were at the dance floor and Ally followed them making sure they didn't fall and break something.

I was eating mozzarella sticks when Lucy started talking. "So Camila are you gay?" I almost choked on a stick when the words left her mouth, I saw Lauren shove her but then looked at me as if she were also curious to know. "Shit, I almost died" I said before continuing "Well, to be honest I have never been interested in a girl. But I wouldn't say No either, I believe that I am capable of falling for a girl just because I would be falling for the person not the gender" I said taking a bite of my mozzarella stick. I took a look at Lucy and she looked annoyed at my answer. "That was really beautiful camz" Lauren said giving me a really warm smile.

Camz? This was the first time she had called me that and I loved it no one else called me that. There goes my stupid heart again I thought. "Have you ever thought that or are you interested in a girl now?" Lucy interrupted my thought she was now looking at me and Lauren as if she was questioning if I liked her girlfriend, Did I? "Uhm no not really, it's just something i've always felt but don't really talk about" I answered back. I was starting to get defensive because Lucy was starting to low key attack me at this point. Lauren was seating between us and she just kept moving her head side to side staring at me then at her girlfriend, she didn't say much. "Interesting" is all Lucy finally said.

An hour later I was dropping Lucy off at her house, I was looking at the rearview mirror watching her say her goodbye to Lauren when she noticed I was staring, She grabbed Lauren by her face and kissed her passionately making me wanna gag. Lauren pulled away giving her girlfriend a warm smile and telling her to text her tomorrow. I dropped off Ally and Dinah at Ally's house because they apparently had an early morning and drove the rest of us to Lauren's apartment. Normani immediately went inside her room slurring her goodnight and me and Lauren dropped almost dead on her bed.

"What a night" she said turning to face me. I just nodded and got up, I got some pijamas and ran inside the bathroom. I was feeling extra nervous tonight sleeping with Lauren I had basically said I was gay for her, hopefully she or Lucy hadn't caught on to that. When I got out of the bathroom Lauren had also changed and was laying in bed a huge smile on her face.

I laid next to her my face was facing her, she turned off the lights and laid back down facing me too. "Did you really mean that" she asked, I could smell the alcohol on her breath but knew she wasn't drunk because she only had a shot and two beers. "What?" I asked not wanting to really talk about anything but I would probably end up doing it. "You falling for a girl?" she said her face inches away from mine. "Yeah I mean you can't help who you fall for" I answered back, my heart raising as I saw her lick her lips.

I couldn't help but bite my bottom lip the urge to kiss her was growing with every passing second. "Have you ever liked a girl before" she kept asking, "I'm not sure" I sincerely answered back, now I was the one licking my lips and her eyes darted down to them. "Ha-Have you ever kissed a girl before?" she finally asked, she gulped loudly and I had to do the same. I felt my face getting hot and my palms were sweatier than before. "Never" I whispered biting my lip and staring at hers.

I stopped breathing when I saw her lean closer her eyes closed and so did mine, one of her hands cupped my left cheek and our lips crashed together. Her lips were different from anything I had ever felt before they were smooth, plump and just so tasteful. Our mouths started moving rhythmically as if we had done this a million times before we were in sync since the first touch. This kiss was different from kissing Shawn, my stomach was filled with a hurricane of butterflies, my whole body was tingling, my brain was not even there anymore and my heart well my heart was now beating with the rhythm of hers. Our whole bodies and souls were in sync, Me and Lauren became one at this very moment.

She pulled away, her eyes were locked on mine. She smiled brightly and I had to take a really loud deep breath because I had stopped breathing for what seemed hours. "Are you okay?" she chuckled laying back down but never taking her eyes away from mine. "Y-y-yeah I was just, surprised" I managed to say. "Was that okay?" she asked her concern for me was always so unique and loving. "It was perfect" I said giving her a big smile. "Good" it's the last thing she said before closing her eyes.

I couldn't sleep I was just laying there looking at the ceiling, replaying that perfect kiss over and over again. My lips could still feel hers, her taste was still in my mouth and the way she made me feel would forever be trapped in my mind. Was I really falling for this girl? I couldn't, I was married and she was dating Lucy. This couldn't be possible, me and Lauren couldn't be a thing. This was probably just another kiss for her just an experiment to show me how kissing a girl felt like.

The kiss just made me more confused to what I was feeling for her, How could I possibly push my feelings away now. I couldn't, not after that kiss. It was useless to try and push her away, I was falling for her and I couldn't deny it anymore. Love happens in mysterious ways maybe me meeting Lauren was a sign a sign that my life could be different and better and I could actually be happy with someone. I didn't want this bliss to go away but it eventually did.

The next morning I woke up to Normani and Dinah cooking breakfast. Ally was with her boyfriend since it was Sunday they always went to church together. I looked to my side and saw lauren still sleeping I managed to get out of the room quietly not wanting to wake up the beautiful dark hair girl.

"Well well look who finally woke up" Dinah said as she flipped an egg. "Is Lauren still sleeping?" Normani asked me grabbing a plate from the counter. "She is" I yawned. "Long night?" Dinah asked raising an eyebrow. "Weren't you there?" I asked back not wanting to give them any details of what had happened last night.

"Not on your bed, no" Dinah smirked back laughing. Normani just shook her head grabbing the gallon of milk from the fridge. "Shut up, I just couldn't sleep." I said back it was the truth how could I ever sleep after that kiss.

"Did you guys finally kiss?" Dinah asked making me choke on my own saliva.

"W-what?" I stuttered at the question, Normani almost dropped the plate and shoved Dinah playfully. "Well, we see the way you guys look at each other. Especially this last week you guys have become close. You guys sleep together and I don't know. I would have guessed you guys would of drunk kissed by now" Dinah said so bluntly. Normani was now looking at me also waiting for an answer as if it was normal to kiss you friend.

"Shit I would kiss her but you know then this one gets jealous" Dinah said pointing at Normani who shoved her even harder. "She's just playing with you Mila. You should of seen you face all the color washed away" Normani laughed pointing at me.

"Well we did" I finally told them, their faces grew into a surprise expression this time Normani did let go of the plate that broke as it made contact with the floor and Dinah was just speechless for the first time in her life.

I smiled at both of them as I went inside Lauren's room again.

"What are you guys doing?" her sleepy voice asked. "Ah you're finally awake, and nothing Normani dropped a plate. Dinah is here" I said back taking a seat next to her. "Of course Dinah is here I don't know why they just don't admit they're dating" she yawned in between her sentence.

" I know right, we all ready know anyways but they'll tell us when they're ready" I could sense the nervousness between us. Before I could say anything Lauren spoke again "Listen, about last night I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry. If you don't want to talk to me I understand but it was just an impulse and I don't know I just had to" she rambled. "Lauren Lauren. It's fine I wanted you to" I admitted biting my bottom lip, the kiss replaying in my mind.

"You did?" she asked surprised. "I wanted to know how it felt like and now I do. So don't apologize, unless you regret it?" I asked back. "Never, It was-was different and special" she grinned making me smile because she had felt what I did. "But I don't know Camila, you're married and I'm with Lucy I think we should keep this between us." she continued. Oh shit, well too late I had just told Normani and Dinah we had kissed. They would probably make fun of us as soon as we left the room. I had to let lauren know before the girls said anything.

"WHAT THE-YOU GUYS KISSED?" Dinah came running inside the room. Oops too late. "What?" Lauren asked back looking in between me and Dinah and then Normani. "Mila said you guys kissed last night" Normani said calmly. "No we didn't" Lauren blurted out, her words felt like a dagger through my heart she had denied the kiss. She denied me.

"Are you sure? Why would she say that then?" Dinah kept asking. "I just wanted you guys to shut up" I whispered sounding more hurt than I wanted Lauren Looked at me, her eyes looked sad. " Dang Mila you got us there" Normani said as she pulled Dinah away from the door.

"I had to deny the kiss Camila, why would you tell them in the first place?" Lauren asked me sounding more calm now. "I just told you I wanted them to shut up it was a stupid kiss Lauren, don't trip" I pushed myself to say seeing the hurt on lauren's eyes made my heart break but apparently it hadn't been as special as she had said before. She lied to spare my feelings and I didn't want to look stupid, I left her room slamming the door behind me. Minutes later I saw her leave her room and out of the apartment, Dinah stood up fast and looked through the curtains. "She left with Lucy" she said returning to the kitchen.

My heart was now really broken, I had mess everything up like I always did . Maybe I didn't deserve to be loved or to have someone as amazing as Lauren.