memories of trauma

Fin soon got the doctor and nurses to approve olivia be transferred to clarissas room. When Olivia walked in she seen her small brunette little girl laying there hooked up to ivs and a couple machines and she couldn't jelp but feel responsible for it. She felt she hadn't done her job as her mother correctly. She let Clarissa get taken and hurt and tormented by the man she had once vowed never to let see her again. On top of everything Clarissa now knew who he was. As she sat stareing at her precious daughter some memories flooded back.

William disappeared down a hallway and returned a moment later with a hand tightly wrapped around clarissas. Clarissa seen her mother and was happy but also scared. "Mommy?!" She went to run for her mother but was pulled back. "No you stay put little one." William growled. Clarissas body shook and she nodded. William squeezed her hand "I told you before to use your words Clarissa." Clarissa nodded and timidly said "yes....daddy." Olivia sat frozen hearing those words from her daughter. William smirked seeing Olivia's reaction "oh you thought I'd let you keep that secret? No no my daughter will know about me."

Those words spoken by her daughter still rang in her head. Everything William had put them through was terror for her but even more so for a 5 year old who was still confused on who she was, now more than ever.

He grabbed her neck from behind and squeezed slightly "she's our daughter not yours." He hissed in her ear. "Now try again."

She swallowed hard and said "william....can I go to....our daughter." She said feeling disgusting saying it that way. He released her neck and nodded with a large grin as olivia pulled her daughter close.

She then heard the hospital room door open and amanda walk in making olivia jump out of her skin slightly. Still remembering the brutality.

Amanda eased her way over as not to startle her again."Hey liv." She said softly as olivia wiped tears from her eyes.

"Oh..um...hey" she said pushing the thoughts away for now.

"Liv I'm sorry." Amanda started.

"For what?" She asked not taking her eyes off of Clarissa now.

"For what your going through again and not being able to help either of you sooner." She continued as she took a seat near them.

"You couldn't have stopped him Amanda...no one could. Plus you've kept my son safe which is more than I've been able to do for Clarissa." Olivia said condemning herself.

"Hey...hey that is not true. She's still here and she is gonna get through this and so are you. Everything you did was to protect her and protect noah." Amanda said touching her friends leg gently but olivia curled away from all touches right now. "I let him kidnap her. I let him give her alcohol. I let him lock her up and make her listen to everything he did to me." She said with conviction of herself.

"No liv. He made you do all of that and go through all of that. He made Clarissa listen and do what he wanted. I know with out a doubt that you would never let your daughter do anything harmful of your own free will." She said trying to comfort her.

Olivia shook her head and just said "i..I'm sorry Amanda I just...I need to be alone right now with Clarissa."

Amanda sighed softly wishing she knew how to help her friend more but she nodded. I'll come and bring noah to see you later tomorrow ok?"

Olivia nodded hesitantly. "Yeah...ok."

As amanda left another memory pushed in to her thoughts.

"William the squad will find us and when they do you will be worse off then you've ever been." She warned still playing a part. He gripped a wad of her hair in his hand and pulled her face close to his. "You better hope they never find you olivia. Because if they do I will end you and me and Clarissa. No one, and I mean no one, will take you or my daughter from me again. Do you understand?" He glared as he slammed her head back on the bed she was once again restrained to.

This sent tears streaming down her face at just how close her and her daughter had been to death. Olivia had been there before but all of this was fresh and new to Clarissa and she had no idea how a 5 year old would handle this kind of trauma.