the choice

Olivia went to Brian's apartment that night and started to boil water for tea. She stood over the stove spacing out just stareing at the wall in front if her. As she stood there lost in thought the ideas and choices swimmed around in her head. She had been wanting a child for years now but began to think she couldn't get pregnant, yet here she was carrying a child conceived by the worst moment in her life. She now knew what her mother had felt like when Serena was pregnant with her. She thought about keeping the child but feared she would end up being like her mother and didn't want to put a child what she had been through most her life.

Olivia was pulled from her thoughts as the tea pot screeched. She lifted the teapot and poured the hot water in to the cup with some green tea bags and sat on the couch sipping it not even realizing the tears that had rolled down her face. She sat in the quiet for over an hour and then heard Brian unlock and open the front door but she still just sat unmoving.

"Hey how was your doctor appointment? They give you some meds?" He asked as he took off his shoes and came around sitting beside her on the couch and noticed the tear stains on her cheek. "Hey...hey what's wrong liv?" He asked concerned.

She wasn't sure she should tell him and just wiped her eyes. "Its..it's nothing bri I'm fine." She lied.

Brian knew better he knew 'I'm fine' was Olivia's way of trying to forget or pretend something didn't happen. "Come on liv what is it?" He asked and touched her hand gently and squeezed it lovingly.

She fought with herself for several minutes but finally said "bri....i...I'm pregnant." She admitted.

"Your su..." he started and olivia cut him off "they ran the test twice I'm sure." She sighed looking down at her stomach again.

"What are you going to do?" He asked not realizing exactly how that sounded.

"I guess I'm going to figure it out on my own" she sighed feeling like he was already beginning to abandon her.

"Shit liv that's not what I meant I just meant..." he started but she once again cut him off and said "no this is my issue not yours. I didn't ask for this and neither did you. Um...I'll move my things to a new place by the end of the week." she said and walked away from him and in to the bedroom slamming the door.

Brian sighed but didn't go after her. He had felt the end of thier relationship coming even before she had been abducted and now all her emotional and physical scars from it were making it even more known. He ran his hands down his face and leaned back on the couch.

***

A couple more weeks went by. Olivia had found a new apartment and had gotten help from fin and amanda and Nick with her furniture. She hadn't told anyone but Brian yet about the baby. She still hadn't made a choice yet but knew she had to soon or she couldn't get the abortion. She also knew if she kept the baby she would be showing before she knew it because of how slim her body figure was from the start.

She was sitting on her couch running over her choices again in her head. Amanda had forgotten her phone and came knocking on Olivia's door. Olivia answered and let her in "sorry liv left my phone." She noticed Olivia's worried face and said "hey you doing ok?" She asked.

Olivia finally broke down in to tears she normally didn't cry in front of people. "Oh liv....what's wrong?" She asked now knowing something was up.

"Amanda...I'm pregnant." She blurted through sobs.

"Oh...wow...liv." she stopped a moment and then said "when did you find out?"

"About 2 weeks ago and ...I don't know what to do. I've wanted to be a mom for so long but....I don't know if I can raise a baby that was conceived in the most horrific moment of my life." Olivia continued.

Amanda sighed "i..I can't tell you what to do but I do know you would be an amazing mother to this child no matter where or who it came from. Kids learn from us not thier dna." Amanda said matter of factly. "And you know the whole squad is here to help and support you if you need it."

Olivia nodded and hugged Amanda. "Thanks amanda...you have no idea how amazing those words are to hear." She took a breath she never realized she had been holding in.

She went to the door and said goodbye to Amanda and closed the door behind her. In that moment she made her decision that she was going to keep the baby and vowed she would never treat it like she had been treated.

(Another installment. I hope you guys are liking it so far. I'm really invested in this story and can not wait to continue it. Don't forget to leave a voice and any feedback or suggestions.)