12- Sad, beautiful, tragic

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

"What the hell.." Karlie mumbles, opening her eyes quickly. She realises it's her phone that is ringing but has no idea where it is, or where she is for that matter. She lets her eyes adjust to the utter darkness for a few seconds before the electronic device starts beeping again.


"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

"Where the fuck is it?!" Karlie now mumbles angrily, getting up from the couch that she had apparently been sleeping on for a while since her limbs were hurting from the quite uncomfortable position she had been in.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

"Aahh!" She lets out when finally seeing the little light on the phone blink in the distance. She rushes over to the fireplace, where she had apparently put it when Taylor and her had arrived in the cabin a day or two ago. The agent looks at the caller ID before accepting it. 'CSP Bureau'.

"Hi its Karl- I mean ehm.. hello, agent Kloss speaking."

"Kloss, you have to change locations." A deep voice sounds on the other side of the line



"Wh- what, why? Tay- uhh miss Swift and I have only been here for like two days." Karlie says, sounding sleepy with her raspy voice.

"You're not far away enough from Amsterdam, where they found you. Plus there might be a chance they followed you or have an idea of where you are." The deep voice says.


Karlie sighs, already exhausted by only thinking of moving around again. 

"This is not some kind of question miss Kloss." The voice says, annoyance laced in there now. "Its an order."


"Yes, sir." Karlie replies, knowing she wont win this useless argument anyway. "I will change locations as soon as possible."

"Tonight." The man says sternly. "We are talking about miss Taylor Swift here. She is one of the music industries biggest names and therefor we have to protect her at all costs."

"I know who she is." Karlie says, her annoyance becoming obvious as well. "And I'm doing the best I can."

"We expect nothing else miss Kloss. You're one of our best agents but.. and don't get me wrong here.. we don't want you to have or grow and unprofessional feelings for our biggest project."

Karlie's heart stops beating at those words and she has trouble breathing. 'Would they.. know?' She thinks to herself as she slowly swallows the lump in her throat away.


"I.. she isn't some kind of project. She is a human being, sir." Karlie says, dancing around the big elephant in the room.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about I think." Karlie's boss says then. "Ive heard from your cole that there was a certain closeness while he was transporting miss Swift and you to your recent locatio-"

"Fucking Josh.." Karlie huffs angrily. They hadn't even really been that close, Taylor had just laid her head on Karlie's shoulder that long car ride. "Sir, no offence but that.. agent is talking.. shi- nonsense."

"As long as you are sure about that, were content. Otherwise we will have to place another agent on her case, is that clear?" The man with the low voice says then.


"Yes sir." Karlie replies, not able to form a longer sentence anymore without any swearwords in there. She cant even think of another agent being just as good as her, Taylor is the safest under her protection, thats a fact.

"Now move locations asap, agent Kloss." Karlie's boss says then, ending their conversation there.

"Yes, sir." Karlie says then, removing the electronic device from her ear, pressing the red button and laying it down on the fireplace with quite some force. She starts pacing around the room, her nervous habit, and even thinks of retrieving that half-empty pack of cigarettes out of her jacket in the hallway, even though she has stopped smoking a long while ago. 

Her resistance is too weak now however as she storms into the hallway, snatches her black leather jacket from the coat hanger and heads over to the terrace outside.


The first drag feels surprisingly amazing, and so do the second, third and fourth one and every single one after that. Karlie leans over the wooden fence that separates the sand from the wooden floor and stares into the darkness. She can hear the calming sounds of the sea, even though there is probably nothing that could calm Karlie down right now.



"Fuck." She breathes as she blows out some smoke. "I fucked everything up again." She angrily says to herself as she feels the wind blow through her hair and shivers instantly. She is only wearing a jacket, her t-shirt and her undergarments and it really is not at all that warm yet. Not even a second does she consider going back inside though. She throws her now 'too small to smoke' stick away and gets a new one out of the marlboro package. While placing it in between her lips, she lights it up with the little flame her lighter provides.

She takes a big drag and slowly blows the smoke out of her body again when satisfied with the feeling that it provides for her. Nothing might completely calm Karlie down right now, but the nicotine is definitely something that helps.

She hadn't even noticed the backdoor opening before she hears someone clearing their throat. Karlie knows its Taylor but cant bring herself to look over at the blonde superstar, afraid of her reaction but also afraid of what she will do or say.



"I.. didn't know you smoke." Karlie hears Taylor say awkwardly. She keeps her stare away from her and just looks into the darkness, or well, the sea in front of her. She puffs some smoke into her body again when she realises the blonde singer has taken place beside her, leaning her elbows on the wooden fence as well and staring into the distance.



"Wanna talk about it?" Taylor asks carefully, her voice soft.

 Karlie's eyebrows raise and she looks to her right, where the famous singer is standing, looking towards the ocean. It remains quiet for a while before Taylor looks into Karlie's green orbs and faintly smiles while shrugging her shoulders. "What? Its 2am and you are smoking in the dark and cold." She states simply. "Something's up."


Karlie stares right into those blue ocean eyes and even though she cant really enjoy looking at all their colours because of the complete darkness, she still sees the singer's concern and caring in them.

 Karlie turns around, so that now her back is facing the sea, but leans her elbows on the fence behind her. She blows out some smoke and throws the cigarette onto the ground in front of her.



"Can I try one?" Taylor asks randomly, making Karlie once again raise her eyebrows and look at her in surprise. "Ive never tried and well this is my chance." Taylor laughs softly, and a piece of Karlie's heart melts a little. She knows exactly what the singer is doing, she is trying to make her feel more comfortable.

"You really don't have to do that." Karlie says, smiling a tiny smile at the singer.


"I want to though. I mean its not like ill be continuing with it. I don't think its that good for my voice." Taylor replies, smiling and shrugging her shoulders. 



"Okay then." Karlie says, taking another cigarette out of the pack and putting it in between her lips before lighting it up. "Here you go." She says calmly when handing the small, addictive roll to the singer. Who would've thought that she would ever be sharing a fucking cigarette with Taylor Swift.


She watches how Taylor delicately brings the cigarette to her lips and inhales deeply. Karlie already knows the singer had been too excited when she sees her breathe in the toxic smoke that fast and starts laughing beforehand. Taylor starts coughing loudly and widens her eyes at the horrible taste of the smoke.


"Oh.. m- my god.." She coughs while also laughing together with Karlie. She quickly hands the still smoking stick to Karlie while waving her hands in front of her face. "Why the hell would anyone do that for.. pleasure or something.." She breathes out, a big smile on her face as she looks at Karlie.

Karlie smiles back at her and brings the cigarette to her lips before inhaling the smoke calmly and slowly. She blows the smoke out through her half-opened lips and looks back at the singer. "Its just.. nice I guess. And calming."


"What do you need calming for?" Taylor asks then suddenly, a little too eager for Karlie's liking, who looks away quickly. Taylor notices the change in behaviour and speaks up again. "I mean.. Ive never seen you smoke before. What happened? Is this about this morning because I'm sorry about-"



"Its not about this morning." Karlie says, interrupting the singer while staring into her eyes seriously. "I mean its not only about this morning."

Taylor sighs in relief. "Okay." She says. "Then what was it?"


Karlie takes another drag and lets the some rush deeply into her system. "My boss called." She says while blowing the smoke out.

"Oh." Taylor says. "Problems?"

"Well not yet." Karlie replies, a small grin on her face. "But we can't keep on doing this Taylor." She says harshly while looking into her eyes. Taylor feels like her legs are collapsing beneath her and holds on tightly to the fence she leans against.

"Doing.. what exactly?" She asks, already knowing exactly what Karlie is talking about.

"Listen.." Karlie starts, throwing the cigarette on the floor and standing up straight. "This," She says, pointing in between them. "Is never going to work."

Taylor has to keep herself from gasping at the harsh words Karlie is saying and just stares at her while tears are starting to form in her eyes.


"Were never going to be more than.. work partners or whatever." Karlie says, looking away from the singer for the first time now and staring at the floor for a few seconds. "We just.. we cant okay?" She says, tears prickling in her eyes. But she wants to stay strong, she wants to just get this over with to keep the famous superstar safe.



"Work.. partners?" Taylor stutters, a tear making its way down her cheek. Karlie looks up from the ground now and looks into the singers, defeated eyes.



She nods quickly and rushes past the singer, into the cabin.

Karlie runs towards the bedroom, grabs their bags and starts filling them with clothing. She knows she cant break now but the look on Taylor's face had absolutely broken her on the inside. She empties the small bedroom closet and rushes into the bathroom right after she has put all of their stuff in the bags. She looks in the mirror and sees how her eyes are all red from all the held in tears. She grabs Taylor's and her own make-up and starts collecting all of their items in the bathroom. Suddenly anger takes over however and she smashes a toothbrush, her mascara and a lipstick across the room.



"FUCKING HELL!" She shouts as she punches the wall with her hand, hard. Tears start escaping her eyes now as she falls to the floor when her legs give in. 'I cant hurt her like that and just fucking walk away.' She thinks as she sobs into her own hands. 'She didn't do anything wrong. Its all my fucking fault!'


She punches the floor with her hand while sitting up against the wall. She notices then that her left hand is bleeding. "FUCK!" She shouts loudly, even angrier at herself now. "FUCKING IDIOT!" She feels like completely disappearing and just wants to get away from here. She cant be around the singer any longer. "WHY HER!?" She screams, knowing she can't disobey her boss and knowing that she will definitely be stuck with the singer for quite some time still.

"FUCK!" She shouts once more while thinking back of the look on Taylor's face. 'Your'e the meanest bitch, Kloss. And a weak one too.'

She knows there is nothing else she can do. This is the only solution that could keep the singer safe. She knows she officially did the 'right' thing and she knows that Taylor will now officially be the safest person on earth when not building any personal relationship with the secret agent. But it feels like she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.

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"Yes, sir." Karlie's voice sounds through the large house and Taylor cant help but somehow shiver at the sound. 

"No sir, there haven't been any problems since we arrived." Taylor hears Karlie say, she looks back at her book, since the agent's voice is coming closer. Karlie walks past the lounging chair the singer is sitting on and ignored her completely while still calling her boss on the phone. This is exactly how it had gone the past couple of weeks. They had now spent three days at this new villa in Portugal and had stayed in Spain for some time before coming here.


Taylor and Karlie had barely spoken since the 'incident' at the beach house in France, except for when it had been really necessary. For example, Taylor had asked where they were heading, while they were sitting in the car. Or when Karlie and her had to get dinner on the road, a few nights ago. The rest of the days were mostly spent with Taylor reading random books or watching boring tv-shows without Karlie by her side and with Karlie either working out or sitting behind her stupid laptop.



Taylor absolutely hated it. She hated the conversation they had had that last night in France. She hated how Karlie ignored her completely. Most of all, she hated how much she still feels for the secret agent. It just wasn't fair. Of course it would've been hard for them to stay slightly professional and gosh, of course it would've been a lot of work. But this, whatever was going on right now, was pure hell for the superstar. And she couldn't help but be pissed at the agent with the most gorgeous green eyes on the planet. Actually, Taylor wasn't one to get angry at people, but she has never been as furious as she is at Karlie. She hates that she still likes her. She hates it.

What Taylor didn't know however, is that Karlie was feeling exactly the same, with the missing part at least. It killed her to not talk to the singer, to not join her on the couch when she was watching Criminal Minds, to not sleep in the same bed and cuddle to sleep. They didn't even say good morning and good night anymore. They became strangers in a matter of just two weeks. Karlie hated how things had gone. She misses the singer like hell and is reminded of their short romance, every time she sees her. She knew Taylor must probably be angry at her, which Karlie thought, would only be better. But deep inside, she wanted her and Taylor to at least be friendly and civil with on another.


"Yes, sir. Bye." She finally ends the boring call with her lame-ass boss and walks back to the cabin through the big garden the luxes villa offers. She knows she will have to pass Taylor again, and that the singer will ignore her completely. It makes her sad, even though she knows it had been her own fault and that she did the exact same thing. She walks past the singer and cant help but look at her slim figure, laying on the lounge chair in the sun. Her face is hidden behind some random book and Karlie was disappointed that she couldn't see the singer's beautiful blue eyes.

She steps into the villa and walks over tot the kitchen where she gets herself a cold glass of water. It is still extremely hard to not get the blonde singer anything to eat or drink but over the past couple of weeks, she had learned that Taylor and her would separately make their own stuff. Karlie sighs after putting the now empty glass down and leans with her elbows on the kitchen counter, her back towards the entrance. She does hear the singer's footsteps approach but can't bring herself to walk away and ignore the blonde once more.


She can hear Taylor's music blaring from her earphones from a distance and smiled bitterly when she hears what song it is. 'Slow dancing in a burning room' by John Mayer.'

Taylor is softly singing with the music when she steps into the kitchen and notices Karlie there, she immediately stops dead in her tracks, not wanting any confrontation with the agent. She had thought she would be in her room, on her laptop, like she always is lately.

Karlie noticed the footsteps stopping and takes that as her clue to turn around and towards the singer. She has no idea what the hell she was doing or what the plan was she had in mind but looked into two very surprised, blue eyes a second later. Taylor's eyebrows raise and she takes one earphone out when seeing Karlie's mouth open.

Karlie does want to speak, she really does, she just has no idea what to say. "I.. uhhmm.. I was just.. ehm getting a glass.. water. A water glass." She stutters. "I mean.. a glass of water."

"Yeah." Taylor says drily, her anger somehow boiling up in her body now that she is standing this close to the woman that broke her heart.

"Yeah." Karlie says, she feels so anxious. She has never seen Taylor like this. Was she.. angry? "How are you?" The words leave her mouth before she had even thought them through. 'Oh my god, what a horrible question.' She thinks to herself as she watches how Taylor's face changes from neutral to pissed. Oh yes, she definitely angry.


"Im great Karlie. Thanks for asking!" The singer spits at her before passing her while bumping her shoulder against her roughly.


'Fuck' Karlie thinks as she turns around to follow the singer with her eyes.

"I.. I didn't mean it like that.. I mean.. I.. I.. Im sorry." Karlie stutters, not able to stand the tension anymore. "I.. I am really sorry."


Taylor abruptly turns around and faces the girl from a the other side of the kitchen counter. A smile appears on her face but Karlie knows its not a happy one. "You're.. you're sorry?" Taylor asks, her eyes almost spitting fire.

"I mean.. I know that I-" Karlie stutters nervously, never meaning to hurt Taylor in this way obviously. Well, thats obvious in her own head at least.



"Fuck you!" Taylor shouts, interrupting the agent. "Fuck you, Karlie!"

Karlie just stands there, watching the singer who grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, closes it with a loud bang and rushes out of the kitchen.

Well that was not exactly how Karlie had hoped their first encounter in a few weeks would go. But Taylor was still angry. 'Of course she is still angry' Karlie thinks as she lets her body slowly sink down on one of the kitchen chairs. She sits there for a while, thinking of ways to ever undo the damage she made. But maybe she shouldn't? Maybe it really is better this way, like her boss had told her. At least she would be safe now, and thats the most important thing. Right?

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A/N

Oh no.. some trouble in paradise.. pwehpwehh..

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