🥀 26 🥀

~♡~

Lyla couldn't remember getting home that night. She felt numb.

Which was honestly better than the alternative.

Bucky had been a gent, walking her to her apartment door, letting her know to ring him if she needed anything and that he'd make sure to check in on her.

He'd also kept his promise of making sure Nat knew she was safe.

Slowly walking through her apartment which just reminded her of Loki, she stripped off her clothes with shaky hands and ran a burning hot shower. Scrubbing her skin to rid herself of the memories and touch of men on her.

Her eyes glaze down lazily to the scar on her thigh from the last time she encountered Brock. She wishes she could carve that piece of flesh out of her for good.

After standing under the scalding water for who knows how long, she finally got out, throwing on her pyjamas and not even bothering to dry her hair before climbing into bed.

Even her pillow smelt like him. She felt sick.

She wasn't sure what had happened tonight to the full extent or the impact it was going to have. But for now she couldn't even think about Loki or Brock. The two were too interlinked. She wanted so badly to cut off her emotions and be cold enough to not care.

So that's what she did.

It was around two am before Nat was letting herself in. Lyla had forgotten to put all the security bolts on. It felt pointless when she'd already encountered the greatest threat.

Nat changed into some leggings and a t shirt of Lyla's before climbing into bed with her, holding her whilst she silently cried into her arms before slipping unconscious.

---

"Məm, we're here!" (Mom) Nat calls out, her Russian intonation slipping through every time she steps through these doors.

It had been two days since the party and Nat had decided to get Lyla away and back home for a bit.

Knowing Melina was the perfect combination of tough love and motherly that Lyla needed to shake her out of the funk. Lyla hadn't wanted to go and face her adoptive mother. Or face anyone to be honest. But Nat hadn't given her a choice, nor had she left her side.

She hadn't even turned her phone back on since that night. She didn't want to hear from anyone.

"дочери!" (Daughters) Melina says as she runs down the stairs, opening her arms wide for the two girls.

They both get crushed in her loving embrace as she inspects both their faces and mentions they need feeding more. Nat rolls her eyes as she gives Lyla a knowing look. It was a Russian Mother's love language: food.

"Natalia, there is stew cooking on the stove, can you check it? Lyla, help me set the table. We'll eat right away." The dark haired woman said as she barely gave the girls time to disagree with her.

Lyla had to admit, being back in her teenage home was making her feel a little better. Anything to keep her thoughts busy about what came next. Anything to stop her mind wandering about him. She couldn't deal with it all. Not yet. Despite her heart hurting and yearning for him. Her logical brain told her to stay safe and stay away.

Naive.

The women all sat around the small wooden table in Melina's apartment, listening to her enthusiastically talk about a new experiment at work with behavioural conditioning of pigs.

Melina was a woman of science, and Lyla found herself enjoying listening to her theories and stories. Others thought she was a little kooky, but it's the tenacity and individuality Lyla loved the most about her adoptive mother.

"бедные свиньи." (Poor pigs) Nat sighed as she looked at Lyla with a smirk on her face.

Lyla wasn't fluent in Russian by any means, but she could understand enough words to get the gist usually if the two together didn't speak too quickly. Lyla chuckled.

"And you, my darlings, what have you two been up to? Not sleeping from the looks of it." Melina says as she puts down the spoon in her bowl, looking disapprovingly at both girls.

She'd always had a way of seeing through both of them.

"We're fine Ma." Lyla says, unconvincingly as she offers a weak smile.

Melina narrows her eyes.

"дорогой-" (sweetheart/dear). Melina takes a breath. "I know that look. It's a boy isn't it?" She shakes her head tutting.

Nat jumps in.

"Mom, we're here to take Lyla's mind off things. Пожа́луйста." (Please).

"A mother needs to know what's going on in her children's lives Natalia! How am I supposed to help if not?" She chides as she takes another spoonful of stew.

Lyla tries to enjoy home cooking, but suddenly her mouth is too dry to swallow.

"It's fine. If you must know Ma, he found me again. But this time it was just more....complicated. I've been seeing someone, but I'm not sure how different the two men are." Lyla feels the words tumble out her mouth, Melina always got information out of the two girls with just a look.

She hears Nat put her spoon down too.

"What do you mean he found you?! Did he hurt you! Where is he now?!" Melina asks furiously as she looked between the two girls.

They knew this would happen. Just like the first time.

"Calm down Mom." Nat says quietly but she knows that won't do anything.

She looks at Lyla apologetically, knowing she'll have to explain some more.

"I don't know. But I do know he won't be coming after me again any time soon. He could even be dead. I don't care." Lyla mutters as she continues to try and eat despite the lump in her throat.

She can feel Melina's eyes on her, looking at her unsatisfied.

"я должен был скормить его свиньям." (I should have fed him to the pigs). Melina tuts as she slams her bowl aside now.

Lyla looks at her, wincing.

"Look, he didn't hurt me it's ok. That's what matters." Lyla tries to calm her mother, knowing she had the fiery rage of her daughter and it was hard to put out once it began.

"What about this other person, what do you mean he's the same? Has he hurt you too? Tell me his name." Melina orders as she goes to get up but Nat slams a hand onto her arm and drags her back down giving her a look.

Melina raises her hands in defense but not before turning to Natasha first.

"почему ты не позаботился о ней?!" (Why didn't you keep her safe?) Melina says with anger at her daughter.

Nat swears in russian under her breath before the two continue a conversation that is too fast and mumbled for Lyla to keep up with.

"Ma - he hasn't hurt me. Not in that way. He's always treated me with nothing but respect and love, but...he's a dangerous person." Lyla tries to intervene as she isn't sure how to bring this up without crying.

The two women stop to look at Lyla.

"So he has treated you well but is dangerous. Dangerous how? I'm going to need more information here girls." Melina says annoyed but Nat shoots her another look telling her to calm down.

"It's complicated. What the brothers do for a living, I don't think it's legal, but they have treated us like princesses. For the first time in my life I felt what true love really feels like." Lyla says as a tear slips down her cheek.

Unfortunately for her, she has just let something slip she shouldn't and now Nat is shooting her daggers.

"What do you mean they? I'm getting confused with you two!" Melina snaps in her thick accent as Nat moves her bowl to the side too now, huffing.

"Nat I'm sorry." Lyla whispers and Nat shakes her head.

"I'm dating his brother." She says quietly.

Melina stands up, taking the bowls back to the kitchen and shouting in russian now as the two girls look at each other with grimaces on their faces.

"Fuck, Nat." Lyla whispers apologetically.

The two girls know the best thing to do is let Melina go off the handle and wait for her to calm down.

Eventually she storms back in, standing behind her chair with her hands on her hips.

"My two girls are dating criminals?!" She asks exasperated.

"It's not like that Ma-" Lyla begins, trying to defend her sister.

But it's no use. They'll have to tell her everything now.

So that's what they do. Skipping the part about Lyla technically being a sugar baby. By the end of it Melina sits down, her head in her hands as she doesn't know what to say.

Nat and Lyla look at each other in suspense. Melina's reactions were always unpredictable. Lyla knew if it was up to her she'd take on the New York Mafia herself with no qualms. And probably win just through shouting at them and putting them in their place.

She could be truly terrifying and waiting to see her next move was always a guessing game.

"Honestly. You two leave home and look what happens. Have I taught you nothing?" She sighs as she mumbles in russian again.

Lyla looks down at the wood grains on the table, wishing the ground would swallow her up. The last thing she needed right now was more anger, more pain and more reliving the last few days. She tries to steady her breathing as she feels herself try and fall into a panic attack.

Cut off the emotions. Be strong.

Eventually she looks back up to see Melina studying the two girls for a long time before speaking.

"Do you love them?" She asks as she looks between Nat and Lyla.

The girls exchange glances, afraid of their answers. It was a conversation even Lyla hadn't had with Nat. She wasn't sure she'd ever loved anyone except Tony. The two generally didn't have a good record when it came to men.

Lyla waited for Nat to speak first.

Slowly, Nat nodded.

"я люблю его" (I love him). She confesses, afraid to meet her mother's gaze.

Melina sighs sadly before walking to Nat and lifting her chin up so she can look at her. Eventually softening.

"I've never heard you say that about anyone Natalia." Melina whispers before looking at Lyla.

"And you? Despite everything this Loki guy has done, do you love him?" She asks.

Lyla nods, swallowing hard.

"I'm not sure how I feel right now. But I did. I just....I need time. But please know, Thor is amazing to Nat. I've never seen someone treat her so well. He absolutely adores her Ma." Lyla says, switching topics and standing up for her sister.

Of course she still loves Loki, but right now that love was mixed with fear and deceit. She wasn't sure what to do.

Melina gives each of the girls a kiss on their cheeks, rolling her eyes and taking a seat between them now.

"You know Natalia, your father wasn't exactly on the right side of the law. What with all those years in prison back in Russia. But he treated me well too, despite it all. And I have you and your sister from it." Melina says softly as Lyla remembers Nat mentioning once about her father.

Although Nat never usually referred to him as that. Just Alexei.

Lyla had never met him, nor did Nat see him. He was back in Russia after getting into trouble with the American government. Her parents could never work together long term apparently, they were both too stubborn and hot headed.

"I'd be a hypocrite to tell you stay away from these men. But I just want you to both be happy and safe." Melina sighs wistfully.

Nat nods. She'd never spoken to her mum about anyone she'd dated before, let alone loved. She'd never even brought anyone home.

"This Thor though. I will meet him дорогой." (Sweetheart/dear). I deserve that. And Lyla, you will figure this out. But for now, you both need time away. Sister time. That's an order. No boys." Melina demands as the two girls look at each other and laugh.

"Trust me. I'm going to wipe my mind clear of him for now. I don't know what's going to happen, but I can't even look at him the same way. I need to have some fun again." Lyla says jokingly, but her heart that she's trying to ignore breaks in two at her words.

The girls spend a couple more hours with their mother who pulls out childhood photos and demands they help her clean the house whilst they're there before they say their goodbyes.

Lyla and Nat travel back to Lyla's apartment, easily drinking a bottle of wine between them as they watch trash TV. Lyla notices however Nat's phone lighting up.

Nat's face is scrunched as she quickly reads the screen and puts her phone aside again, determined to focus on Lyla. But after what Lyla's heard today, she knows Nat needs to see Thor.

"You should go see him. He probably misses you." Lyla says quietly as she sips the last of the wine in her glass.

Nat breaks her gaze away from the TV to look at her.

"He can wait. You're more important." She says defiantly.

Lyla kicks her lightly in the ribs, making her slosh some of her wine slightly. She looks at Lyla annoyed.

"Go. We've been together so much it's only fair you see him. You've done a good job looking after me but I need to wallow alone for a bit." Lyla demands as she gives Nat a pointed look.

Nat bites her lip before she says something, as if wondering whether to say it.

"Apparently he's been trying to contact you. Even came by whilst we were out today." She mutters and Lyla feels her stomach drop at the thought.

They've never gone this long without contact since they got together those months ago. Lyla's eyes trail to those beautiful books on display on her wall that he gifted her, now leaving a bittersweet taste in her mouth.

"I don't care." She replies, slamming her glass down on the table.

She goes to move the glasses to the sink and Nat gets up with her.

"Ly, maybe you should text him at least. The poor guys probably going mad. Thor says he's not doing well." Nat sighs as she moves to block Lyla's way so she has to listen.

"Poor guy? What about me! Nat you know what the brothers are, especially Loki. I can't be around those memories right now. It's because I love him I have to stay away from him. It's clouding my judgement." Lyla says annoyed as she barges past Nat.

Knowing she's fighting a losing battle and not wanting to upset her friend further, Nat decides to go.

"Okay, well I'm going to Thor's but I can be here in twenty minutes in an Uber. So please will you just let me know if you need me?" Nat asks desperately, wanting to know she's OK to be left.

The girls are both tipsy and she hopes Lyla will just go to sleep.

"Yes yes. I'm fine. Go to your man. One of us should be happy." Lyla mutters somewhat bitterly, although she regrets it instantly.

She gives Nat a small smile.

"Tell Thor thanks for his help and sorry about the party. I hope everything's OK with their dad." Lyla says, suddenly remembering that strange vision of who she thought was Odin, walking away from the chaos.

Her gut told her he was involved somehow. Maybe she wasn't so naive after all.

After Nat leaves Lyla opens another bottle of wine feeling emboldened by the warm fuzzy feeling that's filling the void inside her. She made a promise to herself to make herself stronger and more powerful, no longer being a victim, so that's what she'll do.

She's just drunk another glass when she decides to go and get her phone. Turning it on, she's immediately met with over fifty messages eleven missed calls and matching voicemails.

Lyla can't even bear to read them. So she presses delete all, blocking Loki's number whilst she's at it. She'll deal with that another time. Her head is spinning and she feels a little better for making that decision.

Lyla lies down on the sofa, suddenly realising she's all alone for the first time in a while. She closes her eyes but finds that flashbacks start to whir behind her lids. Knowing it will be a sleep of nightmares, she decides to grab her phone and do something she might regret.

Lyla: Hey, are you awake? I need some company (not that kind).

She sends the message, holding her breath and hoping it would be taken in the right context. Only a minute later her phone buzzes with a reply.

Bucky: Sure Doll. Would you like me to come over? (It's fine).

Lyla smiles to herself as she buries down those feelings, deep, deep inside herself. Tucked away with her flashbacks and trauma. Right now she just needed to forget and Bucky had offered to help her if she needed anything.

Lyla: I just don't want to be alone.

She replies, swallowing the lump down and swigging more wine.

Those dots appear before he replies instantly again. She knows James isn't exactly the best company, what with his close ties to the Odinson family and being dangerous himself, but it's too late to talk to Peggy, or Melina, and she has no one else.

She briefly thinks about Steve but decides its too close to home.

Bucky: I'll be there in fifteen.

Lyla's heart hammers and she gets butterflies in her stomach, although she's not sure why.

Nerves? Being drunk? Regret?

Or the fact she's just knowingly invited a very handsome man into her home whilst she pretends Loki doesn't exist.

Yup, that'll be it.

----

A/N: Next chapter will be Loki's POV. Don't hate me too much! ♡♤