🥀 21 🥀

~♡~

Lounging in the luxurious golden metallic tub at Loki's house, Lyla absent-mindedly swigs her glass of wine as she tries to concentrate on the feeling of the bubbles on her skin and not much else.

It wasn't working.

Since their chat with everyone in the kitchen, Lyla had been angry at Loki. And she had no right to be. She knew this when she signed up to be with him, that at the end of the day, she was second to everything in this business. Just another character in the play.

She thought it might've changed when they told each other they loved the other, but maybe that was a front too.

Lyla knew Loki. In a way, she was sure, no one else did on this Earth. Save for perhaps his late mother. She saw beyond the steely mask he so rigidly wore, she saw beyond the terrifying exterior to the man who would do anything for those he cared about and would burn the world down if it dared to hurt them.

Thats what she thought anyway.

But that tiny insecure voice in her head was hammering away, reminding her of her gut instincts when she'd first met the stranger in the club all those months ago with Nat. How that voice and feeling had told her to run.

When you'd been in an abusive relationship, you learnt to lean into your gut a lot. You learnt to read microexpressions on people's faces, the way their footsteps sound on the stairs to determine their mood, the smell of their breath. You became hyper aware, because you had to.

To survive.

Maybe she should've listened to her intuition more. She sinks deeper into the bubbles that smell like honey and citrus and pure wealth, as she furrows her brows, drinking more wine to numb the confusion that courses through her veins.

She was entangled into a web of chaos and destruction. But she couldn't also ignore the small voice that told her she loved this man, no matter what he did, no matter what he was. The one that made her breathing catch in her throat at the sight of him.

Loki had given Lyla space since their disagreement. The others, going home amongst the awkwardness, had shared looks with each other that made Lyla's heart sink at the thought of facing Odin. The most fearsome mob boss in North America.

She'd come too far from danger to run straight back into the hands of it. Men were all the same at the end of the day. All they wanted was power. It comes in many different forms, but it's the root of all evil.

Lyla wipes her eyes as she feels her lids grow weary with the weight of the wine. Still aching between her legs from earlier, she sighs as she resigns herself to the fact that she will just have to stay confused. And figure this shit out on her own. One thing at a time.

She did feel bad for leaving Loki downstairs after he'd spent all day teaching her gun handling. He did after all want to keep her safe. And with that cool metal pressed against her neck as he fucked her...it awoke a side to Lyla that she'd never experienced before.

If they could be dangerous, why couldn't she too? It was time she got her own power back.

Lyla's pulled out of her thoughts as a soft knock sounds against the bathroom door. She finishes her wine, placing it down on the side as she shuffles slightly under the bubbles.

"Come in Loki." She calls as she swallows the sweet liquid.

Loki appears in the doorway, looking a mixture of shame, angry and lustful as he sees Lyla soaking in his tub. Glistening under the water, her long hair scooped back into a messy bun on top of her head, her eyes slightly hazy from the wine and her lip bitten in deep thought.

"Hey Lokes." Lyla begins softly as she decides she was too harsh earlier.

Loki's face softens briefly before his mask is back on.

"Lyla, my Darling, I am sorry how this has all come about." Loki speaks slowly as he trails over to the tub, perching on the top of it.

His long black Henley sleeves are rolled up, displaying his intricate ink across his forearms and hands as he looks deeply into her eyes. His gaze always makes her feel so small.

Lyla sighs, sitting up slightly and placing a dripping hand onto his as she looks up at him through her eyelashes. Whatever conviction she had is lost when she sees his sinfully delicious face.

"It's fine. We've spoken about this a hundred times. It's just...we've really got ourselves into a fucked up situation here Lokes." She sighs heavily as she lazily strokes his fingers with hers, tracing the ink and noticing how he presses his lips into a thin line.

His eyes so desperately trying to keep eye contact and not roam across her soapy and naked body.

Maybe Lyla did have the power all long.

Loki swallows hard before he replies. He pulls his hand away from Lyla, instead kneeling beside the tub now and placing a hand onto her cheek, at her level.

"I'm fucking lost Ly. I...I...love you but I'm scared." Loki began, his voice wavering.

Lyla sees that brief glimmer of vulnerability again and realises just how little she must know about his world.

Loki pulls his hand off her face, studying his own fingers. Lost in thought.

"I'm a murderer Lyla. A terrible person. And I'm okay with that, really I am. My fates were sealed by the Norns many years ago. But yours aren't. And they shouldn't be so interwoven with mine." Loki says shakily as he braves another glance to Lyla, her own gaze mirroring his.

"I love you Loki. I can't help who I fall in love with." Lyla says quietly.

Suddenly she feels a little braver by the liquid inside her. She grabs his fingers again, kissing each one before interlocking their hands.

"Loki, do you truly love me?" She asks carefully, scared he will get angry or hurt.

Loki frowns as he studies every expression and crease on her face, searching for an answer. His hesitation makes Lyla's heart beat too quick.

"Of course I do Pet. How can you even doubt that. You're the only person I've ever bared my soul too, and the only one to accept me for it as well. But I can't do this to you. Not after your past. You deserve a good man." Loki says shamefully.

"We can't keep going in circles like this." Lyla whispers as she leans her cheek against their hands on the side of the bathtub.

"You either accept fully I am part of your life and we do this, or we can't. But I can't imagine my life without you in it now. I feel safe with you. That's how I know you're a good man. I haven't felt safe with anyone in too long." Lyla hums as she feels her eyes welling up.

She knows Loki's communication isn't his strong suit, but she is desperate for him to understand her and accept her words fully.

"I cannot imagine a life without you in it. I am selfish for doing so. Its fucking wrong of me." Loki sighs as he squeezes her fingers lightly, unsure where to go from here.

"OK. So we're doing this. So you need to update me about your family, what I can expect and what needs to happen, to protect us." Lyla says decisively.

Loki looks down at her perfect face lying against his marred skin. He cannot believe this angel is even in his presence, let alone making this decision to be part of his fucked up world.

"Okay." Loki says resignedly, feeling exhausted and terrified he is going to lose the only good thing in his life.

Lyla stands up as Loki passes her a towel to dry herself off with. She pulls the plug with her toe, before stepping out the bath with his assistance. He guides her down onto the porcelain bench in the middle of the room that is a deep black with flecks of gold.

"So where do you want to start?" Lyla breathes as she swaddles herself more in the luxuriously soft towel Loki has just passed her.

He sits closer to her, wrapping an arm protectively around her. As if he can stop the horrors he's about to tell her from penetrating her mind.

"Well, I guess you should know more about my father. If you're ready." Loki says nervously.

Lyla nods eagerly, trying to push the fears down her throat at what she's about to learn.

"Odin's grandfather established the family business a long, long time ago. Pre-dating the first world war. Back then it started off small, smuggling tobacco and alcohol into the country and between states from New York, but eventually as they became more successful, they grew." Loki starts as he slips back into an emotionless state.

Lyla can tell he's already mentally detaching himself from the story and the tales of horror.

Lyla rests her head into the crook of his shoulder, praying she won't hear anything that makes her run for the hills.

"That's when things started to change. They began realising they could make bigger money from weapons shipped illegally into the country as the result of the wars. They made contacts, unfavourable ones. They had access to weapons that governments dreamed of. So the feds turned a blind eye. They were paid handsomely to do so too. Soon enough, the Odinsons were running the entire state. With that came a lot of enemies. And with enemies came violence." Loki muses as he grips Lyla a little harder.

Lyla feels her heart beating in her chest. This sounded like the plot to a bad mafia movie.

But it was real. And she was now a character in it.

"Hits were being made, even more money was being passed around and rivalries were happening. My great grandfather got shot down when he was only twenty five. But after his brother took over the company, my grandfather stayed in line for when he'd reach the age."

Loki pauses as he gathers himself.

"My grandfather made it to thirty before he took a knife to the heart. Too many enemies and not enough allies. The pattern continued."

Lyla places a hand on Loki's thigh reassuring him she's OK for him to continue.

"Eventually it got handed down to my father. Odin was different however, more savvy and brutal than his predecessors. He had a rage and sociopathy in him none of the others possessed. He branched out to drug importation as well as weapons, the government bribes were more and more, as well as the police, lawyers, senators and other powerful people you can think of. His reputation grew and soon his enemies learnt that they'd be better off dead or joining him. That's how the Barnes family got involved. They were rivals, but James' father and Odin made a deal. It was always tenuous, even more so now, but we needed them onside to help with shipments to and from Mexico."

Lyla tries her hardest to concentrate. She knew there'd been tension between James and Loki that night. She knew Loki had marked her collarbone for a reason. To show him that he was hers only.

"Odin was exporting and importing things that were inconceivable to most Mob families. Nuclear weapons as an example." Loki says regretfully, his face flaring pink.

Lyla saw the way his jaw tensed and the way his grip tightens even more on her.

"I....I think that's what killed my mother Lyla." Loki admits in a whisper as his voice breaks.

Lyla looks up in horror at Loki who is lost far away in a memory. Lyla strokes his thigh lovingly.

"How?" Lyla asks for the first time.

"Odin took shortcuts for convenience. He didn't store the weapons properly. He insisted that they were safe, but many scientists told him they weren't. A few scientists working with the holding of the weapons got sick...and unfortunately someone who was always in the area was my mother. She despised what my father did. She came from a wealthy family and I believe they had an arrangement long ago for their children to wed. She tried to keep out of it, she really did. She was...Good." Loki says defensively as Lyla swallows down bile, realising she really is in deep.

"But my mother...she felt bad for those scientists made to hold and assess the weapon. She would visit them all, make sure they were well as they had months without seeing their families. She soon became sick like they did." Loki's eyes glaze over as he fights back tears.

Lyla can't bring herself to look at him in such a vulnerable state.

"After her death, Odin never spoke of her again. But he ended the nuclear weapon deals. He instead expanded the drug trades, gaining more revenue from that. He still does it to this day...like with the Zemos. He wants them mostly because the Barnes family were eyeing them up. It was a power move." Loki explains as he puts on his sinister exterior again.

Wiping away the stray tear that slipped through quickly and roughly.

"It's always power." Lyla sighs as she wraps her other arm around Loki.

She cannot believe he's just shared all this with her.

She wishes she was back in the library, ignorant to this side of the world.

"Odin detested me even more with Frigga gone. I poured myself into the work, trying desperately to be accepted by him and the family. But he doesn't see love...or bonds or whatever you want to call it. Its like Thor and I are his colleagues and nothing more. His minions. I hate him Lyla, and when he dies, I'll be there." Loki says the last part with such venom, Lyla's blood runs cold as she doesn't doubt it.

"You have Thor. He obviously cares about you a lot." Lyla whispers.

Loki stills, as he thinks about a response.

"That halfwit hasn't got a clue how to run the company. If it wasn't for me he'd have not outlived his predecessors either." Loki mumbles grumpily.

Lyla reaches up and strokes Loki's face softly, wondering where they go from here.

"And now Odin has requested Nat and I come to this party...why?" Lyla presses, her adrenaline beginning to pick up even more.

"Because he sees an opportunity for more power Ly. Power over me, over Thor, a way to assert his dominance again. A way to threaten us into submission. A way to hurt us. He doesn't need a reason. He is psychopathic." Loki pants as he feels fear grip his own heart.

"Okay. So we need to show Odin that it's not that serious, that I'm not a way to hurt you. I need to play the part of the sugar baby again. As does Nat." Lyla groans as she realises why it has to be done.

"Yes, but I expect him to see through it. Nothing gets past Odin. He is All Seeing." Loki says bitterly.

"This is why I need to keep you safe. From him, from rivals, from...your ex." Loki speaks the last part tentatively as he grips her harder in his hold, kissing the top of her scalp.

"We're like a real life Romeo and Juliet situation here. Star crossed lovers." Lyla laughs but it's unsteady. Loki attempts a strained smile.

"Except they both die." He whispers in return.

~♤~

Loki fixes the collar of his jacket, slicking his hair back out of habit as he awaits the news from Clint.

Sure enough his phone rings.

"He's not here boss."

Loki pinches the top of his nose between his brows, trying desperately to keep the bloodlust at bay.

"He can't have disappeared Barton. That motherfucker is out there. No way he's gone." Loki quips back angrily.

"Sir, I promise you. We've checked out all known and unknown addresses linked to this dude. Is it possible Rumlow got scared and ran away? I mean if he was following Lyla and saw our presence that might've been enough to put him off."

Loki pulls the blade out from his jacket pocket and flips it between his fingers in an attempt to calm down.

"Whilst it's true rats are the first to abandon a sinking ship, I cannot rest until I know he is dead and disintegrated Barton." Loki sneers as he feels his knuckles go white at the grip on his knife.

"We will keep checking out any leads we get Boss. I promise. But Pietro even said the dude hasn't touched his bank account in weeks now. I think he's gone off the grid. Are we really gonna expect Lyla to be okay with being followed by us forever?" Clint's voice wavers with fear at the end.

"If that's what it takes to keep the low life piece of shit away from her for the rest of her day, then yes." Loki growls into the phone.

He sees Steve walk into his office and raise a brow at him questioningly. He gestures for him to sit.

"I mean....look Loki, you know as well as I do how these guys operate. They're scum yes, but they're cowards. Just think about cutting her some slack. It's like she's got a whole new stalker with us." Clint says bravely as he uses Loki's first name.

He's seen how restless Lyla's getting, always checking if their car is around, having to explain to others at the library why several men tail her. He knows civilians don't cope well with this kind of thing for an extended period of time. And he notices the way she looks at Loki, and him at her. For the first time he sees his boss as human, and he wants to protect that.

"Thank you for your unsolicited advice Barton. Keep looking." Loki chides as he hangs up, turning to Steve.

"Let me guess, Brock's off the grid, got scared?" Steve asks as he pulls at his black tie, loosening it a little around his neck.

Steve had just come out of a meeting with one of Zemo's clients trying to create an export plan that was seamless.

Loki nods but doesn't feel satisfied. Trash always has a way of turning up again.

But Clint's words are echoing in his head. He doesn't want to be seen as controlling, stifling her in ways Rumlow had. He clears his throat.

"I need you to take Lyla shopping for a dress for tomorrow night. The others are busy and Peter is helping out his family. I'd appreciate it." Loki says as he throws Steve his platinum credit card carelessly.

Steve looks confused but stands up and nods.

"Of course Sir. Does...does she know I'm doing this?" He asks tentatively.

Steve had a soft spot for her. Loki could tell. It seemed just near about every bastard in this place did. He felt possessive but had to remind himself how it was only him that could make Lyla come undone with a flick of his tongue, or how he was the one she'd said she loved, her apartment was the one he'd fucked her in ruthless times, not Steve.

"No, but let her know. She thinks it's me but I need to chase up some leads. Spare no expense. Make sure she's treated well in the shops Rogers." Loki orders as he goes back to sitting at his desk and glancing down at his phone, coming up with a next plan of action.

He decides to fire off a message to an old fed friend, pulling in a favour for a facial recognition scan of all the cctv in Manhattan. It required extreme lengths now.

"Sir." Steve replies as an affirmative as he grabs his Porsche keys and his suit jacket.

Steve tries not to smile on his way out at the thought of spending time with Lyla. Her laughter was infectious and she brought out the best in Loki. He longed to get to know her more.

Only in an appropriate sense however. He was too terrified of his boss to do otherwise. Once someone had made a move on one of Loki's whores and he'd cut their tongue out right there and then.

Steve fired over a text to Phil who had taken over watching Lyla at work whilst the others were busy, letting him know he was coming to relieve him.

Steve had a bad feeling in his stomach about this party that Odin was making the girls attend. And he didn't like it.

----

A/N: It's all leading up to the action, don't you worry ;)