"Not tired for you"

{Three weeks later}

POV Yeji

-"Thank you Chicago! We were ITZY!"

Another show of the US tour ended. We left the stage and the venue in a matter of minutes, our manager didn't want to waste any time. Midzy was probably going to block our way out and we didn't want to hurt them as the car moved.

By the time we arrived at the hotel I had no energy, but our manager ordered us to shower and do a Vlive. It's late but it needs to be done. We prepared and joined Chaeryeong in her room. She has the biggest and the tidiest.

The Vlive started around eleven pm. We interacted and had dinner with Midzy through the screen. After one hour we officially ended everything in the schedule, my eyes were closing by themselves. I fell asleep in Chaeryeong's bed but she immediately woke me up.

-"Yahhh! Yeji! You have your own room"

-"Please, let me sleep here" -I begged- "I'm very tired"

-"Can't do. Your girlfriend will take you to your room"

-"My girlfriend?" -I have a girlfriend? I know I have multiple girls around the world. My fans.

I forgot Ryujin and I told the girls about our "current status", we aren't anything official but I hope that'll change soon.

Since the LA show, weeks ago, we haven't had any sexual interactions. Every time we reach the part where she is about to penetrate me, I always stop her and she never gets mad at me. I'm not afraid of her but I don't know. It's going to hurt, probably, I already read a lot about it on the internet (not the best info resource).

I fear that she might lose interest if I don't give her what she wants, I don't even know what Ryujin wants. In the end I'm the one that pushed all of this. I want to be with her so badly but I don't know what to do. My only resource is to talk to Lia.

She and Ryujin were each other's first time, thankfully whatever happened between them didn't affect the group. I'm afraid if things don't work between us, the chemistry between all of us will break and we could stop being Itzy. A girl of Twice told me it is very common for members of the same group to date or experiment with each other, since dating outside the company or the same group is very difficult. People are always watching.

Ryujin grabbed my waist and almost carried me out of the room, Yuna helped her and both of them pushed me into my bed, laughing.

-"You look drunk" -the maknae said to me.

-"I love you to Yuna"

-"Go to sleep kiddo" -Ryujin said, closing the door.

She looks so damn hot in her pajamas, she is wearing very small shorts and a black graphic t-shirt. I sat on my bed and tangled my legs around her waist.

-"Ryujin..." -I tried to sound flirty but I look and sound sleepy.

-"Yeji?"

-"I need you"

-"Go to sleep" -she doesn't sound tired.

-"Are you mad at me?" -I asked unsure.

-"No" -she rolled her- "You are tired, just sleep"

-"Why did you roll your eyes at me?"

-"Because I can"

-"You'll see"

I took her waist with my hand and pushed her on the bed. Climbed her body until our faces met each other, she was laughing.

-"Yahh! Don't laugh"

My eyes are closing fast, she rested my head on her chest, letting me hear the heartbeat. My eyes closed automatically, leading me into a deep sleep.

{The next day}

The lead manager gathered all of us in the hotel restaurant for breakfast including the staff, apparently he has great news.

-"Can I have your attention please" -he stood up- "Today. We will have a free day, you can do whatever you want. Explore the city, sleep, have a drink, whatever you please. JYP sent me these strict orders because of our hard work for the past week"

-"Finally!" -Yuna almost screamed, we smiled at her and kept eating.

-"What are we going to do?" -Yuna asked with excitement- "Shopping? Walking around?"

-"Chaeryeong and I have an appointment at the museum" -Ryujin added- "Do you want to join us?" -said for the rest of us.

-"Yes!" -the maknae replied.

-"I'll pass, I'm not feeling well" -Lia said.

-"I'm with Lia but enjoy it"

The maknaes of the group left the hotel early, they wanted to go shopping first. I was laying down in my bed when my phone rang, it was Lia.

-"Wanna join me? I'm at the coffee shop downstairs"

-"Sure, I'm coming down"

I walked past the lobby and the staff of the hotel greeted me, noticed one of them wanted to take a picture of me but her boss told her not to, they needed to respect our privacy. Entered the coffee shop and noticed Lia was sitting on the corner, probably the best table. The view was incredible, we could see the park on the other side of the street.

-"Have you ordered?" -I got Lia's attention.

-"No, I was waiting for you"

-"I'll order. What do you want?"

-"Coffee and a glazed donut, please"

-"Coming right up" -I said before leaving her again, approached the counter but before I could order, the girl on the other side flirted. If Ryujin was here she would get jealous. Probably? I haven't seen that side of her. Quickly ordered and waited for the beverages and pastries.

I placed Lia's food in front of her and she devoured the glazed donut. She really is in love with donuts. I wanted to ask about her first experience, but it's something personal. Even though we know very much everything about each other, there are things we keep on the low.

-"Go ahead, ask"

-"What?" -my eyes widen- "About what?"

-"About whatever you want to ask me" -how did she know?

I sat next to her to block out other people from the conversation.

-"Are you mad at me?... For dating Ryujin"

She rolled her eyes- "How many times do I need to say it? No. I'm not mad" -she genuinely smiled at me.

-"Are you sure?" -I needed to be a hundred percent sure she is ok with us.

-"Just ask" -said taking a sip of coffee.

-"Did it hurt? When you lost your virginity"

Lia smiled looking at the park in front- "I thought... you and Ryujin already..."

-"We haven't... I mean we have done other things but not that" -I feel shame.

-"Does it hurt?" -she asked herself- "It depends on how gentle the person is and if the core is well lubricated"

-"When you and Ryujin.... Did it hurt?"

She looked at me in surprise. Shit, I'm asking something out of place? I knew I shouldn't have asked and just tolerated the possible pain.

-"Sorry"

-"No, it's ok" -she took another sip- "When Ryujin and I, you know whatever. For me it did, a little" -she is being honest and not weird about it- "The point of sex is to enjoy it, if it hurts too much just stop. You don't need to endure anything"

-"Ok" -my brain is processing the info- "How do I set the mood?" -I don't have a problem with that but I want something special.

-"Kiss, touch and don't stop. I guess" -she glanced at me and Lia noticed I didn't make eye contact- "There's something else isn't it?" -Lia senses everything.

-"How do you know?"

-"I've known you for years and is very noticeable when you are nervous or something is in your mind" -she took the last sip and analyzed me- "Oh no..."

-"What?" -I turned around but no one was there.

-"Don't tell me you are doing this because you feel pressured" -I faced her again.

-"Ummm...no. No!" -she doesn't believe me- "M-maybe...."

She turned her body around and looked at me- "There's something you need to know before carrying on with your sex life" -she took my cheeks and made sure I was strictly looking at her- "When Ryujin and I started experimenting with each other, It took time to achieve whatever it needed to happen. If you think Ryujin is desperate to do it, believe she isn't"

-"What does that mean?"

-"When I was with her... she wasn't ready to lose her virginity and I understood. In sex there are two people involved, not one. You and your partner  have the mission to understand what the other is feeling, if the other person is ready or not, ok?" -I nodded- "Thrust me when I say Ryujin doesn't want you to rush about this. It took her the same amount of time or maybe more for her to open up"

Lia's words gave me peace of mind. I never felt pressure from Ryujin, I felt pressure by myself. She is right, sex is something every human feels vulnerable to and I need to take time if I really want to enjoy it.