Lan WangJi's life, part 1

Wei WuXian was back.

Lan WangJi had polished his memories of Wei WuXian for thirteen years, the few happy moments like bright jewels in a string of unhappy, dark ones, as he had watched Wei WuXian veer off from the accepted path and into demonic cultivation. All he had been able to do was to witness in impotent horror as the cultivation world turned against Wei WuXian and named him the number one enemy of mankind, which lead to Wei WuXian's inevitable downfall and death. 

Lan WangJi could remember each moment with Wei WuXian like it was yesterday, and he had resigned to living the rest of his life with just memories of the one he loved. And then... His beloved was back, playing the song Lan WangJi had composed for him so long ago, the song Lan WangJi had only ever played for Wei WuXian, and Lan WangJi thought his soul would expire with joy. 

He stood as if frozen, staring at the unfamiliar body housing the soul of his beloved, the face partly hidden behind a mask, not even seeing the flesh, his soul looking into Wei WuXian's, the one he never thought he would meet again on this earth. 

From that moment, Lan WangJi's only concern in this life was to protect Wei WuXian, both his precious soul and the surprisingly frail body he was occupying.

Except for that one uncontrolled moment during a night hunt in the Phoenix Mountain almost fifteen years ago, Lan WangJi had never touched Wei WuXian in an intimate way. The memory of that stolen kiss burned in his mind, the feel of those supple lips opening under his and responding, the hot, wet tongue joining his in a dance of liquid passion. He hadn't held back, hadn't been able to, and he had bitten down on that succulent lower lip like it was a rare delicacy. 

Lan WangJi had finally torn himself away and had staggered to a nearby crop of trees and taken out his frustration and longing by tearing them apart. If he hadn't, he would have gone back to Wei WuXian and taken him there, against the tree, with wanton desire pent up for far too long. It had been the hardest thing Lan WangJi had done in his life to bottle up all that sexual need afterwards.

Well, the hardest except for what followed. Wei WuXian had died, and the cold, lonely years since had shrivelled Lan WangJi life's blood and shrunk his soul to a dry husk. With Wei WuXian now returned, it felt like Lan WangJi's whole body was coming back to life, feeling a little like a limb which had been numb and was now prickling when the blood started to circulate again. Lan WangJi felt alive again for the first time in over a decade.

If the price for having Wei WuXian back, of seeing that smile that never failed to make Lan WangJi's heart tremble, was to never kiss Wei again, he would make the trade with a glad heart.

So Lan WangJi put up with all the constant teasing and the outrageous things Wei WuXian did to pretend he wasn't the most infamous man returned in the body of the almost as infamous Mo XuanYu. Lan WangJi followed Wei WuXian everywhere that he wanted to go,  a hot balloon of happiness bloomed in his chest every time Wei WuXian looked at him, and every time it was a little more difficult to keep his impassive face. But it was enough. For a lifetime spent with Wei WuXian, it would have to be enough.

Then one morning Lan WangJi woke up at 5 in the morning as usual, with no memory of what had happened the previous night after his first sip of the spirits that Wei WuXian had bought and demanded him drink. But as Lan WangJi sat up and looked around in the dim room in the pre-dawn light filtering into the room, a taste lingered on his lips that he couldn't identify at first. Then it hit him and his knees almost gave out. Lan WangJi knew this taste. He had only ever tasted it once in his life, in a different lifetime, on a different body. The taste of Wei WuXian's lips.

How? How was it possible? Had he, Lan WangJi lost control when he was drunk and forced himself on Wei WuXian?

He turned to look around the room in panic and found Wei WuXian sitting on the ground, leaning against the edge of the bed fast asleep, with red welts in his wrists. Lan WangJi hesitated, then lifted him gently on the bed.

"It hurts... Lan Zhan, you're so rude when you're drunk." Wei WuXian's voice was flirtatious even now, rough from sleep.

Lan WangJi's hands faltered, and he paled. "You reaped what you had sown."

"Lan Zhan, you really don't remember what you did after you were drunk, do you?" Wei WuXian's head lolled back lazily, and Lan WangJi's eyes followed the exquisite curve of his neck to his lips, which were swollen and red. And was that a bite mark?! What had he done?

Lan WangJi tore his gaze away. He couldn't look Wei WuXian in the eye, for fear of what he would find there. "I do not." 

He eyed the red welts again and plucked an ointment from his bag and started to apply it to Wei WuXian's wrists. He waited, his heart beating loudly in his ear, but just as Wei WuXian was about to say something, there was a knock on the door. The young disciples who were following them as part of their teaching in Lan WangJi's clan were ready to leave, and they had to get ready.

The memory of those two kisses plagued him, one stolen, the other forgotten. 

As they traveled, Lan WangJi mulled the night's events over in his mind, over and over, until he felt dizzy. Since Wei WuXian didn't say anything about it, could it be that he didn't mind? That Wei WuXian might have actually initiated it? 

Lan WangJi kept stealing glances at Wei WuXian, trying to make sense of the facts as he knew them. And what had made the welts in Wei WuXian's wrists? Lan WangJi forehead ribbon had been next to his pillow that morning, and it had looked a little wrinkled. Had he tied the ribbon around Wei WuXian's wrists? Only Lan WangJi himself could have done that since the ribbon was sacred and could only be touched by his family, or his wife had he been married. Wei WuXian of course couldn't keep his irreverent hands off the ribbon, but it couldn't have been him, for how could he have tied the ribbon around his own wrists?

There were no answers, only more puzzling events, giving Lan WangJi hope he didn't dare nurture.

One day, to investigate a strange case, Wei WuXian created a paper man of himself, just a finger height crude man-shaped paper doll, into which he breathed his own consciousness. Lan WangJi looked at Wei WuXian with concern when he went limp, but then the paper man twitched and Lan WangJi understood. 

The paper man was as cheeky as Wei WuXian was, and flew onto Lan WangJi's forehead to tug at his forehead ribbon. Just as Lan WangJi was about to pluck the teasing little imp off his face, it slid down Lan WangJi's cheek by itself, and smacked its face softly against Lan WangJi's lips. Lan WangJi stilled. 

"Do not fool around," Lan WangJi said faintly, plucking the paper man between two fingers. and the paper man wound itself around Lan WangJi's fingers, wriggling a little, as if shaking with laughter, before hopping to the floor. 

"Be careful", Lan WangJi called after it, unable to help himself.

The wait for the paper man to return was interminable. Lang WangJi sat watching Wei WuXian closely, like he did each morning when Wei WuXian was still asleep, for once able to look on with impunity. 

If Lang WangJi had been fully aware what a risk Wei WuXian was taking, submitting his soul into the fragile confines of the paper man, Lang WangJi would never have allowed him to do it. While his soul was in the paper man it was as fragile as the thin scrap of paper was and even small damage could have devastating consequences. Even now, Lang WangJi was gnawing the insides of his cheeks, waiting for the paper man to return.

The paper man... Lang WangJi touched his own lips softly, remembering the kiss it, Wei WuXian, had bestowed on them. Another kiss... their third.

He couldn't just wait by the bed and eventually he went to open the door and waited until finally he saw the little paper man fly toward him in a terrific rush, it's fragile paper body fluttering in the slight breeze. Before Lang WangJi could catch it in his hand, it smacked against Lang WangJi's face, trembling there, exhausted and relieved, safe at last. 

Murmuring softly, Lang WangJi took him back to the room with Wei WuXian's immobile body, and waited anxiously until Wei WuXian's soul returned to his body.

Yet, not expecting his body to still be disoriented, Wei WuXian felt dizzy and fell forward. Seeing this, Lan WangJi caught him in his arms. Wei Ying. You keep ending up in my arms. Do you feel what I feel?

But there was no time to ask, as events overtook them and half an hour later, Mo XuYuan was revealed to house Wei WuXian's soul in his body, they were attacked, and without a single moment of hesitation, Lan WangJi defended Wei WuXian. Lan WangJi had certainly done it now, he had thrown his lot behind his beloved despite attempts by Wei WuXian himself not to let Lan WangJi incriminate himself. 

Lan WangJi had been powerless to prevent Wei WuXian's death before, and there was nothing he wouldn't do now to stop history from repeating.

It was only Wei WuXian and him now, against the whole world, including both their brothers.

And Lan WangJi had never been happier. 

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A/N:

There are some differences between the novel and the drama which are difficult to reconcile. In the novel, Wei WuXian returns in a different body, that of the outrageously gay Mo XoYuan, but in the drama, the same actor plays Wei WuXian both before his death and after his resurrection (quite understandably, as Xiao Zhan is amazing in the role). 

I have chosen to follow the novel, because I find it unbearably romantic that Lan WangJi never wavered in his love for Wei WuXian, never even commenting on the new body he came back in. They are soulmates, and the body is just a vessel housing that soul. 

In the novel, 13 years elapses between Wei WuXian's death and his return, in the drama it is 16 years. I've adhered to the novel here.

Finally, in the drama the cheeky paper man throws Lan WangJi a kiss when he first appears, which is super cute, but in the novel he smacks a kiss full on Lang WangJi's lips. Wei WuXian at this point doesn't realize his own feelings for Lan WangJi, but they come out in the actions of the cheeky paper man.

In the novel an antagonistic character refers to Wei WuXian as Lan WangJi's life, so that is what the title of this chapter refers to.