Chapter 18

Jason's P.O.V.

Two cannons.

"Who do you think died?" Vena asked quietly.

"I don't know."

She stared at me strangely but didn't say anything else. Instead she stood and went to go make a fire so we could eat.

Vena's question was answered soon enough. 

"Oh, gosh, Jason, you better look at this." Vena said from the entrance of the cave hours later. I crawled next to her as the Capitol Anthem played. Orchid's face stared back at me for a few seconds before it switched to Kern.

A feeling numbness spread over me.

"What do you think happened?" Vena asked.

"I-I don't know."

How could she have died? She was with Snow, and no one could overpower Snow. 

Could Snow have killed her? Along with Kern?

Maybe Vena was right about Snow wanting to kill me too.

"I'll take first shift." Vena said kindly. "Get some sleep."

I nodded slowly.

I should've killed Snow when I got the chance.

Snow's P.O.V.

I woke up in the middle of the field. I was honestly very lucky no one killed me. My cheeks were stained with tears and my hands with blood. 

My movements were slow, I climbed a tree and laid on one of the highest branches. For hours I did nothing but stare up at the canopy of leaves. 

"Snow!" Orchid screamed. 

I heard her scream of pain as the spear entered her body.

Tears were spilling out again.

I watched as Kern lifted his own spear and stabbed himself.

I held their hands as they died.

I gasped for air as the pain hit me again and again.

"They did it." Orchid was muttering. "They did it. They did it."

I watched Kern collapse onto the ground.

"Please, you guys can't just...die." I managed to say.

"Don't. Kill. Him." Orchid said. "He made a mistake. He messed up. But don't kill him, please. For me."

"I-I won't."

He betrayed me, but I couldn't kill him.

For Orchid.

Kern's hand touched my face gently.

"You look like your mom you know. And your dad too. You have your mother's eyes." he quietly.

"They would be proud." he murmured. 

Orchid nodded. "So very proud."

"You're beautiful Snow. And talented. They won't even know what hit them." he said laughing slightly. 

I watched the light leave their eyes. I watched as they said their last dying word.

"Rebel."

I laid motionless as tears streamed down my face.

"I'm sorry." I murmured. "I'm so, so sorry."

"The Gamemakers can locate your position in the arena, they can also watch your vitals, but they can also do so much more."

The thought hit me.

"What's going on? What happened?"

"The...tracker." Kern said weakly. 

 The tracker.

Kern gave me a tracker to put in instead of the original.

A memory was tugging at me.

The Capitol attendant walked up to me. "This is just a tracker. That way we'll be able to track you in the arena." 

She pressed the needle onto my skin.

Fight it.

I forced myself to move. I grabbed the woman's wrist and twisted it. She yelped in pain and the needle fell to the ground. 

"What are you doing?" she demanded, still struggling against my grip.

I released. "What are you putting into me?" 

"I told you it's a tracker! All it does-"

"What does it really do?" I demanded.

She sighed. "It's a tracker. We can monitor your heart rates as well as track you. We can also monitor other vitals. The chip is put into one of your nerves. Well..." she paused and laughed. "They could control you if they wanted to but it would be very difficult and there's no point."

 They could...

Control you.

"Oh my god." I said sitting up. 

"Kern! Kern! Listen to me! What are you doing? Why are you..." I trailed off as I saw his eyes. 

They were normally a blue, but now they were red.

"K-Kern?" 

It wasn't Kern anymore.

His eyes.

The way he just randomly stood.

It made all made sense!

The Gamemakers were controlling him through the tracker!

But why?

Kern glanced at me uneasily. "They..they can-"

He suddenly stiffened. 

He was about reveal the truth to me...so they controlled him.

But they wanted him to kill me. He aimed his spear at me.

He would've killed me if it weren't for Orchid.

The tracker he gave me prevented them from controlling me. 

He saved my life.

So did Orchid.

And they killed them both for it.

No, if I had just been a little quicker. If I had moved, if I hadn't been paralyzed, Orchid wouldn't have jumped in front of me and she would be alive. And then we could've fixed Kern somehow. We could've done something.

It was my fault they were dead.

And those sick, twisted Capitol people watched this stuff for their entertainment.

I couldn't stand it.

Remember the enemy.

The Capitol.

The people who raised me. The people who took care of me after my parents died. 

The people who forced families to send their children to this sick arena. The people who watched as helpless, innocent people were murdered.

For their enjoyment.

Rebel.

They would pay. 

"I'm going to kill you. I'm going to watch as you die slowly and painfully. You will pay for what you've done. How dare you? How dare you take innocent lives without a second thought?" I snarled.

I threw one of my knives with all my strength. It hit a tree and the blade drove deep into the bark.

My anger left me slowly leaving me weak and numb. I gathered up my supplies. My feet shuffled toward the river. I slowly cleaned my face, my hair, my clothes, my hands, and refilled my water bottles. Luckily it was hot enough so that my clothes and hair dried as I walked.

I walked for hours with no purpose. My mind and feet wandered aimlessly. 

The only that drove me forward was that little bit of anger.

By the time I got tired enough to stop, it was already mid-day.

My mind sent a single thought that processed.

Food.

I sighed and got out my backpack, slowly unwrapping the groosling from a few days ago.

After I finished eating, I closed my backpack and just sat in the middle of the little clearing. Not saying anything, not doing anything, just thinking.

Footsteps behind me. 

More than one person.

Three by the sound of it.

"Snow?" a gentle voice asked.

She sounded so much like Orchid.

"Thalia." I murmured without turning around. I was trembling.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"They killed her. They killed them both. I watched them die." I said quietly. Tears were running down my face.

"Who'd they kill? And who's they?" another voice asked.

Mitch.

"They killed her." I repeated pulling my legs close to my body while I sobbed. I shook violently as I watched her die again in my mind. "They killed the only people I trusted."

"Snow." a kind voice said. "What's wrong?" I felt a hand rest on my shoulder.

"They saved my life." I said trembling. "And they died for it."

"We need to help her." Thalia said. "I've never seen her like this."

"You didn't personally know her until a week and a half ago." Mitch reminded her.

"Thalia's right." the voice next to me murmured. "We have to help her."

"Why?" Mitch asked. "What has she ever done for us?"

Thalia and the voice next to me replied at the same time.

In all honesty, Mitch was being reasonably skeptical.

"I haven't done anything for you." I said slowly. Their voices died down. "If you killed me right now, you'd be doing me a favor." I took a deep breath. "But I promised, I promised I'd stay alive....for her."

"We can trust her. She wouldn't try to kill us anyway, she's too weak right now." the voice said.

"Weak." I repeated. "I'm not weak, I'm broken." 

A silent understanding passed between the three of them.

"Let's go Snow. We'll help you." Thalia said kindly.

"She can't walk. She's shaking too much." the voice said.

I felt strong arms pick me up and carry me bridal style.

Like Jason did when I was too weak to walk.

"Everything's going to be okay Snow. You'll be okay." the kind voice said.

I closed my eyes. "Jerome."

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"It's my fault. It's my fault they died." I murmured. 

"What happened?"

"He threw the spear, and she jumped in front of me. If I had just been faster, if I hadn't been paralyzed-"

"Don't talk like that Snow." Jerome said abruptly.

Tears were running down my face.

He carefully reached his hand up and brushed away a few of my tears.

"It'll be okay. Trust me." Jerome murmured softly.

I could still hear her screams. I could still see their faces as they died.

"It won't ever be okay. Never." I said to myself.

Jerome's P.O.V.

"What do you think is wrong with her?" Mitch asked. 

We were sitting outside our cave next to the lake. Snow was the only one who was in the cave. She was sitting at the entrance, not making a single sound. Her eyes were filled with tears. 

"She watched someone die. Someone she cared about." I murmured.

Thalia and Mitch looked up at me.

"Why would you-"

"Because I can see it in her eyes." I said cutting Thalia off. "She's in pain. She won't just heal right away. She needs time."

"So now you can see pain in someone's eyes?" Mitch asked.

I glanced up at him. "No, I can recognize it. Mainly because I saw the exact same thing a few years ago every time I looked into a mirror."

Realization flashed in Thalia and Mitch's eyes but I just stood and walked away before they could say anything.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked as I approached the cave.

I looked at Snow in surprise. "It should be me asking you that question."

"You're like me." she said slowly. "You've seen someone you care about die. I watched Orchid, who was like a little sister to me, say her last words. I held her hand as she died. Kern's too."

I sat next to her but didn't speak.

"I lost my mother and father before I could even talk or walk. Family, love, and compassion were non-existent to me." Snow said softly. "When I met Orchid, I was in a weak and broken state like I was a few hours ago. She helped me and put my mind at rest. I loved her like a sister."

"My brother." I said finally. "I had an older brother. When I was eleven, he got chosen to be put in the Games. He was amazing with weapons, I had a little bit of hope that he would come out alive. But his allies murdered him. I watched him die. It took years for the pain to go away."

"Pain is like that." Snow said softly. She looked at me and smiled. "You volunteered for your sister. I find that admirable."

"You volunteered for someone you didn't even know." I reminded her.

"Most people think it's because I wanted to be a part of the Games. It's refreshing to find a third person who thinks differently."

"I'm the third person?"

She nodded. "Orchid was the first. Then there was Kern. And now you. I had another ally before Orchid, I thought he understood too..." she paused and shook her head. "I was so wrong."

"Another ally?"

"Yeah, Jason from Three if you remember him. I saved his life the first night of the Games and we became allies. Then he and Vena tried to kill me."

"Jason, oh yeah, the one who liked you." I said absentmindedly.

She gave me a pained look and turned away.

"I said something wrong." 

She laughed sadly. "No, it's not you, I mean, it's not your fault." she paused and shook her head again. "You don't have to do this you know. I'll leave tonight or tomorrow morning and then we'll just pretend like this never happened. It was nice enough for you guys to not kill me when you found me like that."

"Like what?"

"Weak." she murmured. "Broken down. That's the way Orchid found me after..." she trailed off. "Like I said, you don't have to do this. Mitch was being reasonable back in the field, I don't know why you trusted me."

"I saw your pain." I said to her. "I knew you weren't lying when you said you saw them die. Or when you said you cared about them. I saw the same thing after my brother. My parents, my sister, every time I looked at them or in a mirror..." I sighed. "Besides maybe I want you here. Maybe I like talking to you."

Snow laughed sadly. "You don't even know me."

"So enlighten me. What's your story?"

"I don't have a story. At least, not one you've never heard before."

"Everyone has a story." I said softly. "And I think there's a lot more to you than what I see."

She shook her head. "I don't know what you see, but I'm not who you think I am."

"Who are you then?" I asked. 

She smiled at me and her eyes sparkled.

"If only I knew."