Part 6

Natsuki blinked her eyes open groggily. Her head hurt. There was a solid pressure beside her and warm breath dusting her neck.

Oh yeah, she was at Yuri's.

Yuri shifted, groaning softly as she tightened her hold on Natsuki, burrying her head further into her neck. She smiled, closing her eyes again. They still had time to rest, the alarm hadn't gone off yet.

The realisation hit her like a ton of bricks.

It was dark in Yuri's room.

Natsuki yelped and wriggled out of Yuri's arms. She shot up, reaching for the other girls phone, her head draining of blood.

(1) Missed Alarm: 6:30pm.

The little clock in the corner of the screen read '8:13pm.'

She felt like she was gonna puke. She rushed to slip her shoes on and grab her jacket, buttoning it with shaky fingers. "Shitshitshitshit," she muttered frantically, her voice trembling.

Papa was going to kill her.

Yuri sat up and rubbed her eyes, looking sleepy and concerned. "Natsuki? Is everything alright?"

Fury flared in her chest. "No, Yuri! Everything is not fucking alright!" She felt wet streaks trail down her face. Was she crying? "We slept through your stupid alarm!"

She made a break for the door, grabbing her backpack and phone on the way out. "W-Wait! Please!" She paused impatiently, refusing to turn around. "I...I do not want him to hurt you..."

"He's gonna hurt me either way." She let out a sound that was halfway between a sob and a laugh, but it held no humor. "But, hey, maybe you'd get off on that."

Shitshitshit. What the fuck did you say that for?

"N-Natsuki?" Oh fuck. She sounded so quiet and hurt, her voice full of pain. "Why...Why would you s-say that?"

She honestly hadn't meant to say it. She hadn't even thought it, she'd just...said something to hurt Yuri. Like she always did. Why the fuck was that her default defense mechanism?!

Natsuki glanced at the phone in her hand. No new messages or missed calls. Weird, usually he'd be blowing her phone up by now. Maybe...just maybe she was safe. How long would that last, though...?

Fuck it. Yuri was more important.

Natsuki dropped her bag and turned. "Yuri I'm so, so sorry. I really didn't mean that!" She went to hug her, but Yuri pushed her away, pulling her knees to her chest and covering her face with her shaking hands.

"I-I trusted you with that!" She was hyperventilating, her breath coming hard. "I-Is that what you truly think of me?"

Panicked, Natsuki shook her head. She hadn't even noticed she had begun pacing.

You fucked this up. She's never going to forgive you now. She'll abandon you.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Natsuki forced herself to sit down on the side of the bed to stop herself from pacing, attempting to calm her racing mind.

Fuck, Nat, cmon. Figure out how to fix this.

"I don't, Yuri! I promise!" Yuri was trembling. A lot. She'd hurt her.

You're turning out just like him.

SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.

"I'm just so, so stressed out right now! Please believe me!" She begged, tears stinging her eyes. This was too much, she didn't know how to fix this.

Yuri shook her head. She was still clearly panicking, her voice unsteady. Natsuki had really fucked up this time. "Why should I?"

"Because I'm going to stay here tonight and do everything in my power to prove it to you."

Yuri laughed dryly. "No matter what you think of me, Natsuki, I am not letting you stay here and end up angering your father more."

"I can make my own choices, y'know? Besides I doubt he's even noticed I'm gone, look." Natsuki angled her phone to show Yuri the lack of messages. She just shook her head firmly.

"No, y-you cannot-"

"Try and stop me." Natsuki folded her arms over her chest. "Yuri...I really am sorry."

Yuri shakily dropped her hands from her face, refusing to meet Natsuki's eye, her breathing slowly calming. "T-That really hurt, what you said. Please...try not to say anything like that again, I..."

"I won't. I promise." She was really going to have to watch her tongue from here on out. Hurting Yuri, either physically or emotionally...yeah that was a kick in the teeth.

It hit far too close to home.

They sat on the sofa, relaxing with bowls of ice cream in their hands and the TV quietly playing a news channel. Natsuki had been feeling groggy from their nap and conversation, so once Yuri had calmed down she had suggested that they get something sweet to wake themselves up a little. And here they were.

Natsuki ran her spoon in circles around the pink slush. "How did you know strawberry is my favourite?"

Yuri blushed. "You mentioned it some time ago."

"You really remembered that?"

"Of course I did," Yuri paused for a moment, her spoon resting on her lower lip. "Natsuki?" She hummed in question. "Could you show me one of the anime shows that you love so much?"

Natsuki blinked. Had she really just asked that? "Really? Why?"

"Well, I, um..." Yuri scratched her temple. "I wanted to learn more about your interests."

Wow, that was actually really sweet. Natsuki grinned, jumping up and grabbing the remote. "Well why didn't you say so! I'll show you Angel Beats. It was the first one I saw so we'll have the same experience. There's also a character called Yuri in it."

Yuri raised an eyebrow with a smile. "I see what you are doing. Make it seem relatable to get me to enjoy it more. Very clever."

"N-No! Of course not," she stuck her nose in the air as she searched the TV for the show. "I'm not that shallow."

"Of course not," Yuri said, her voice cheeky. Natsuki only shot her a glare before settling back onto the sofa, pulling her feet up onto the fabric. She found the show and started it up.

Natsuki watched intently. She still felt guilty about their conversation before and she wasn't entirely convinced that Yuri had forgiven her fully yet, which was fair enough. She didn't expect that.

But she couldn't dwell on that now. Otonashi was meeting Kanade! Well, Angel at this point.

Scraping the bowl with the spoon for the last streaks of melted ice cream, Natsuki watched the TV with great care. "Hand sonic," she whispered along with Angel.

Yuri peered at her curiously. "You really do love this."

"Shhh!" Natsuki flapped a hand at her without taking her eyes off the screen. Yuri would get no sense out of her for a while. But, hey, she asked for this!

They got through a couple of episodes before Natsuki's phone buzzed.

Her heard practically stopped. Why now? Oh God he was going to kill her...

She reached for it with numb fingers, taking it from the coffee table before her. She sighed a breath of relief. Group chat notification. Well, may as well check now.

(1) New Message(s):

10:12pm: lilmonix3 - I need to talk to you two. Can both of you make it to the club tomorrow? Usual time?

Natsuki chewed her lip nervously and paused the TV. She showed Yuri the message. "Something isn't right."

"It does sound rather strange..."

Natsuki typed a quick message in reply.

10:13pm: sugar^and^spice - Yeah I can make it

10:14pm: lilmonix3 - @Love_For_Literature, can you come?

10:14pm: sugar^and^spice - She knows, she's with me. She'll be there

10:15pm: lilmonix3 - Oh! Be good you two ;3

10:15pm: sugar^and^spice - Oh shush, Moni

Natsuki turned her phone off and resumed the anime. She didn't need another scare like that and it was too late to back out now anyway. He didn't know where Yuri lived, they'd be safe.

She glanced over at Yuri who...was actually paying attention to what was happening on the show. Was it too optimistic to assume she was enjoying it? Hmm, maybe. But she swore she'd seen her eyes glaze over when Iwasawa was obliterated.

"You remind me of Shiina," she said, which resulted in a confused look from Yuri.

"How so?"

Natsuki laughed. "She's all mysterious and she looks like you."

Yuri hummed curiously. "I never would have thought. Besides, you remind me of Yui."

Natsuki shoved her playfully, shuffling closer to her on the sofa. "Hey! She's nothing like me besides the hair colour." That might have been a lie. "And c'mon, Yuri! Every inch of you practically screams 'look at me, I'm mysterious!'."

"How would you know? You have not discovered every inch of me yet." Yuri blinked as if processing her words, until she suddenly looked shocked and a deep blush tinted her cheeks. "O-Oh, jeez! That was way out of line, I..." She hid her face in her long hair.

It was kind of adorable.

Natsuki giggled. "Yet?" Yuri's reactions were always pretty sweet and she didn't disappoint this time. She whined and hid her face further into her hair and shoulder. Okay, Natsuki, enough messing with her.

"Chill, Yuri. It was funny!" She moved to press a quick kiss to her cheek. She'd kind of hoped to claim her lips but she was doing a really good job of hiding them from her. "It's late," she said, attempting to change the subject.

Yuri smiled a little. "Are you trying to get me into bed?"

Now it was Natsuki's turn to blush. "Yuri!" She groaned, but the other girl's laughter made her smile.

"Come on, I think we are both pretty tired," Yuri stood and offered Natsuki her hand, which she took before being pulled off the sofa. She made a mental note of where they were in the show before switching the TV off.

They walked lazily up the stairs back to Yuri's room. At some point on the way Natsuki had mentioned her lack of clothing change, so Yuri rummaged in a drawer for a moment before tossing her some pajamas.

Natsuki changed in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. The clothes were falling off her small body but they were comfortable. She looked tired, but happier. Her eyes appeared a little brighter, her skin and smile warmer. She washed up quickly before returning to Yuri. She had avoided looking at the sink for too long, the memory of all that blood was too...fresh.

Yuri was waiting for her as she slipped quietly back into her room, one half of the covers pulled back and the other half occupied by a sea of purple hair. Natsuki smiled, popping her phone to charge and climbing back into the bed. She kept her distance from Yuri, who was peering at her curiously. Natsuki just traced the patterns on the ceiling with her eyes, chewing her lip.

She was working up the courage to ask her something.

"Yuri?" The other girl hummed curiously in reply. "What exactly...y'know...are we?"

Yuri hummed again, running her finger along the creases in the bedsheet beside Natsuki's body. "What would you like us to be?"

She narrowed her eyes at the ceiling. No, she'd asked first. "Why do you think I asked you?"

"Well, I...uh...I-I know what I would like." Natsuki screwed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart. This was either gonna hurt like hell or feel freaking amazing.

"And that is?"

Yuri shifted and although she wasn't looking at her she could already tell she was blushing. She bet it was pretty. She stuttered her words. "I-I, um, I would like to be y-your...your girlfriend."

Thank fucking God.

She had actually just said that! Natsuki let out a relieved breath, laughter bubbling in her belly. Yuri wanted to be her girlfriend! She had no idea why she did, but for now she couldn't care less. Whatever her reasoning, she'd said it.

Natsuki turned to her side, facing Yuri. She looked nervous, her face flushed and red, but Natsuki pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "I'd like that, too."

Yuri sighed, most of tension leaving her, before kissing Natsuki quickly. "Are you sure?" She whispered, her expression a little nervous and sad.

Natsuki blinked. Really? "What do you mean? Of course I am!"

Hesitantly, Yuri spoke up. "W-Well, I mean...There are many things we could never do together. What if one day you...wanted children, I suppose. That could be incredibly hard to work around."

Natsuki shook her head. "Couldn't I say the same for you?" Yuri hummed thoughtfully. "Besides, regarding that topic. I, um, I can't have kids, so..." What was it about conversations late at night that made you spill a load of personal bullshit?

'Parts of you are shutting down like streetlights burning out,'

'But I have always felt safest with you in the dark.'

"Really?" Yuri sounded sympathetic and a little sad. Maybe she wanted them? It sounded to Natsuki like Yuri was projecting a bit. But she wasn't going to worry about that, it was getting much too ahead of herself.

Instead, she nodded. "Yeah. I, um, found out a while ago after a pretty bad injury from papa."

Anger flashed in Yuri's eyes, her expression dark. "He did that to you?" Natsuki only nodded again. "That utter bastard!" She'd cursed again! It was pretty funny hearing it come from her.

Natsuki giggled a little. "It's okay, Yuri. I'm fairly certain I'm not straight so it doesn't matter. I've come to terms with it now." She kissed her again, slowly and sweetly. It took a moment for Yuri to relax, but she did eventually. "As for other problems, we can address them if they ever show themselves. No need to stress over something that may never happen, right?"

"I suppose," she murmered, a lazy smile on her face. Yuri leaned forward and kissed her again, her hand cradling Natsuki's face lovingly. It was a slow, gentle kiss, no rushing, no trapped emotions. Just pure relief and happiness. It lasted a while, just the two of them testing the waters and getting to know the other at their own careful paces, unlike their first kiss. It was nice and peaceful and Natsuki's heart soared the whole time. She truly adored this girl.

But after a little while she broke away with a small smile and blinked at her with lazy eyes. "As fun as this is, Yuri, we have school tomorrow." Yuri sighed happily, pressing a little kiss to Natsuki's nose, making her squeak. She felt like the responsible one for once.

"I know. You are just...so sweet." Natsuki blushed and groaned, turning her head into the pillow. Yuri laughed lightly, pulling Natsuki closer to her. "Cheesy, huh?"

"No, it was nice." she murmured against Yuri's neck. After a moment she yawned, exhaustion overcoming her. "I'm tired."

Yuri's hands gently stroked Natsuki's hair, her fingers weaving between the short, pink strands and her nails scratching the back of her neck. It made her shiver pleasantly. "Then let's sleep."

Natsuki did so, allowing herself to drift off. She felt as though she were floating on air, with Yuri's arms keeping her grounded as she slept. Her memories from the past couple of days morphed together into a muddle of dreams.

Sayori, literature, napping Yuri, cupcakes, festivals, Monika, pianos, video games, ice cream...

Suddenly she felt herself falling. Yuri's arms weren't there to protect her, now.

Natsuki woke with a little jolt. There was empty pressure beside her and a distinct lack of warmth. Where was her girlfriend?Wow, that sounded really really good. She wanted to scream that from the rooftops.

Carefully, she opened one eye, reluctant to stir too much just in case she alerted anyone of her awake status. She saw Yuri rummaging through her drawers and her mind cleared, heart rate calming. She was safe, she was there. She hadn't left.

Yuri pulled something out of the drawer, closing it quietly and turning to leave the room. As she walked through a thin line of moonlight, she noticed whatever she was holding glinted. A blade.

Oh, a knife.

Of course.

After she shut the door with a faint click, Natsuki let out a deep breath. It was a weird feeling, knowing her girlfriend was leaving to hurt herself and Natsuki wouldn't do a thing about it.

She turned over, staring at the bookshelf beside the bed. Would this ever become a normal thing? Was it okay for her to be scared about it becoming the norm? Would Yuri still want to do that even after they have sex, if they ever did?

And, most importantly, should Natsuki try and help her stop the...addiction? Yuri insisted she was safe, but even so it wasn't exactly a healthy habit to rely on.

An array of thoughts rattled around in her head, but she shook them away. It was late and they'd already discussed a lot of heavy topics today. It was foolish to think she would be okay with Yuri doing that yet, anyway. And Yuri clearly knew that, she was attempting to hide it from her. Maybe at a later date they could talk through this again.

Natsuki drifted off into a weak sleep, her conscious indecisively flitting between awake and asleep. That was until she felt the bed dip behind her and slender arms weave around her small frame once again. Yuri's soft breath dusted the back of her neck once she'd snuggled behind her and it was actually incredibly comforting. When Natsuki fell into sleep again it was an uninterrupted, deep, dreamless sleep.

The best she'd had in years.