Part 5

Natsuki glanced down at her phone, the little "New message" icon bobbing happily on the screen. She unlocked it, revealing messages from the group chat.

Old Message(s):

6:54pm: lilmonix3 - Hey guys! If you need to reach Sayori message her here, or through me. Her phone's bust and she's staying with me.

6:59pm: sugar^and^spice - Thanks Moni. Hope you're okay Sayo <3

7:02pm: Love_For_Literature - No worries. Feel better soon, Sayori.

9:36pm: lilmonix3 - Haha. Thanks guys <3 -Sayo

5:12am: lilmonix3 - We won't be in today. We'll try and make it for club time, though!

7:24am: Love_For_Literature - You two were up early. I hope everyone is alright.

8:43am: sugar^and^spice - Ugh. I guess I'll have to be half of the group today

8:45am: Love_For_Literature - Three quarters*. And I assume you have just woken up. Should I leave without you?

8:47am: sugar^and^spice - Yeah, I'm gonna be late

8:47am: sugar^and^spice - Also...

'sugar^and^spice' changed the nickname of 'Love_For_Literature' to 'Love_For_LIT'

8:49am: Love_For_LIT - Hmm. Mature.

8:53am: sugar^and^spice - Don't correct my math

8:53am: sugar^and^spice - /(0-0)/

(3) New Message(s):

2:54pm: lilmonix3 - You two make me laugh. Club's cancelled today, we won't be back in time.

2:56pm: Love_For_LIT - Oh dear. No worries.

'Love_For_LIT' changed their nickname to 'Love_For_Literature'.

Natsuki huffed and typed a quick reply.

2:59pm: sugar^and^spice - Damn. What's up?

She doubted Monika would tell her what was going on yet. But worth a shot, right?

She locked her phone with a little click, pocketing it for now. Classes had been incredibly boring without Sayori in them to keep her company. She shared no classes with her other two friends due to them being in the year above and she didn't really care for the other students too much.

Natsuki slung her backpack over her shoulder, making her way out of the class. Time to meet Yuri.

Miraculously she'd managed to get permission off papa to go to Yuri's as long as she was back before dark, 'or there'd be consequences'. It wasn't a hard task given it was still early Autumn, they would have plenty of time, but the memory of his words still sent a shiver down her spine.

As she was walking down the corridor leading to the courtyard her phone buzzed again.

3:02pm: lilmonix3 - I'll tell you later.

Of course. She could hardly blame Monika, though. Something was definitely up.

Yuri was waiting for her outside of the school gates, noticeably fidgeting. She relaxed a little when Natsuki approached her, however, and they fell into step with each other around the crowds of other students leaving for the day. Yuri didn't live far from the school, it was only around a five minute walk, so it wasn't terrible. They quietly discussed Monika's strange messages and their weird timings, both agreeing that they felt something was wrong.

Yuri turned the lock on her door with her little key and held it open for Natsuki to follow her. She led her down the hallway and up a set of arched steps. She opened one of the doors on the landing that Natsuki recognised as her bedroom from when they'd been here as a group. She'd always thought Yuri's room fitted her like a glove. The walls were a blueish-grey but the carpet below her feet was a dark red, so dark it was nearly brown. She had a mahogany bookshelf with various volumes of fancy, leather books and little ornaments lining the shelves. Natsuki wondered whether she'd read all of those books. Probably.

Her bed stood next to the bookcase, smack in the middle of the room. It was pretty large and took up most of the space and it was adorned in black, patterned sheets and a purple, silk throw. A set of drawers stood beside the bedside table, likely full of clothes. Not that Yuri really had a wide variety of outfits that she wore. She had a wooden desk, too, which sat near the door and had a computer and an assortment of notebooks organised on it.

The whole place looked...tidy and sophisticated. Which is why it fit Yuri so well.

Yuri dropped her backpack by the door, stretched and removed her school jacket and shoes, draping the fabric over the desk chair. She ran her finger along the set of drawers before crawling onto her bed, crossing her long legs. She pat the sheets beside her as invitation.

Natsuki seized the opportunity, shrugging her own jacket and shoes off before joining Yuri. She kept a wide berth between them. The last thing she needed when she was trying to think was a foggy mind.

They hadn't spoke since they'd arrived at her house. Natsuki worked her jaw and ran her hands along the sheets, watching the shapes and creases her touch made to the duvet. She was awful at this real life stuff. "So, um, you said you enjoy that? The knives?"

Yuri nodded, rubbing her wrist in slow circles. "Yes, I do. But I feel obligated to let you know that I refrain from hurting myself in any other way. Just this."

Nodding, Natsuki spoke up. "Just so we're clear, you need to know that I won't do that to you. Y'know for, uh, pleasure purposes. Okay?" She wasn't going to hurt her. She wasn't going to let herself become her father.

Cutting Yuri would hit way too close to home.

"N-No, I assumed as much." Did she sound disappointed? Maybe a little. "I will never make you do anything you are not prepared for, Natsuki."

Okay, one thing down. "Is it the pain you enjoy?" Please say no. Please say no. For the love of fuck, please say no.

"No." Natsuki let our a little breath of relief. Okay, good. "I highly doubt that. I think it has more to do with how it appears and feels in terms of pleasure rather than the pain. W-When I first started I, um, I tried it with other...items. Razors, scissors. And nothing." So it was the knives, then, and possibly the blood. That was something she could work with, at least. "I notice you are avoiding saying what it actually is. The cutting."

The word was so sharp on her tongue. She didnt think she could say it so smoothly yet. "This is gonna take some time to get my head around, Yuri. Jeez, I mean this isn't exactly easy."

Yuri shifted uncomfortably, the mattress dipping and she did so. "Y-Yes, I apologise. What is your next question?"

"Are you safe when you do it?"

Yuri nodded. "Of course. I know where to avoid and I have had no issues in the past." Hmm, accidents can still happen. "Anything else?"

Just one more question for now. "How did you feel when you realised you were into that?" Hah, projecting much, Natsuki?

"Afraid at first," Yuri admitted, her voice soft. "But I tried it and the fear just...vanished, I suppose. Replaced by something else entirely." Definitely projecting.

"Okay. Your turn."

Yuri took a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking. "How long has this been going on for?"

Natsuki dropped her eyes to the sheets again as her fingers unconsciously touched her scarf. This was going to be tough to talk about, she'd never said these things out loud before. But she owed Yuri an honest explanation. "Since mama died. Around 10 years."

She was afraid. Afraid of the disgust and the loathing that Yuri would no doubt feel towards her after all this was out. She was going to think she was disgusting and broken, she knew that.

As if sensing her discomfort, Yuri reached out and placed gentle fingers under her chin, lifting Natsuki's head with an encouraging smile. What was she thinking? This was Yuri. Yuri wasn't going to judge her for her homelife. The girl dropped her hand again. "Has he ever...um...hurt you in any other way?"

"You mean sexually?" Yuri nodded, blushing deeply. God, that was adorable. "No, thank fuck. I wouldn't put it past him, though. The guy's a loose cannon."

She nodded, looking relieved. She didn't blame her, that would have been a whole other load of shit to deal with. "Does he hurt you often?"

"Not...really..." she selected her words carefully. "Not badly, anyway. It's usually only something minor every couple of days." Anger flashed in Yuri's eyes, her grip on the bedsheets tightening.

"That...That bastard." Natsuki raised an eyebrow at her. She never heard Yuri curse! Maybe she really was a bad influence on her after all. Natsuki shuffled towards her to grab her hands, their knees touching. "I...I had no idea. I wish I could do something to stop him."

Shaking her head, Natsuki offered her a little smile. "It's okay. I can fight my own battles for now. He wouldn't kill me, that's what matters." Well, she wasn't entirely confident that was true.

"I apologise for never picking up on this sooner...Perhaps if I had-"

"Yuri!" Natsuki shook her head. "Honestly, it's alright. One day I'll be free of him, but I'll be okay until then. I promise." Yuri lifted their clasped hands and placed a gentle kiss to her knuckles.

"If you are so sure then I will try and let this go. I am just worried, Natsuki." She paused, nipping her lip. "Is that everything?"

"For now, yeah." There was a lot they still hadn't covered but they'd reached a good starting point.

Yuri smiled prettily. "Well then, are you hungry?"

"Duh!" She said with a grin. "And tired, too."

Yuri hummed curiously, the small smile still playing at the lips. "Well, I have an idea. Perhaps we should get some food and then come back here to sleep for a little while? If you, um, would like?" Natsuki agreed enthusiastically and they both slipped off the bed. It felt really, really good to have the centerpiece of their emotions out on the table. Of course, they still hadn't discussed the two of them yet, but...that was still to come.

So their plan hadn't quite gone as they'd initially hoped.

They'd searched for food for a few minutes before deciding to shove a frozen pizza and fries in the oven. While they waited for it to cook, Yuri had decided to power up her game console...thingy. Was it an xBox? Ps4? Hmm, Natsuki didn't know the difference. She'd never had the luxury of growing up with one.

Yuri had tossed her the controller as they sat on the sofa, giving her free rein over the various games. Natsuki scrolled through them. Everything Yuri had was pretty...dark, to say the least. All horror or action games. Natsuki found one that she thought looked a little tamer than the others. Something about surviving on an island with dinosaurs? Lark...? Snark...? Oh! Ark! That was it.

Hah, it had actually been really fun. She started by dying a lot, but with Yuri's helpful guidance and tips she soon got the hang of it. Before long her and Yuri were laughing, squealing and shouting at the screen, watching as she dodged and killed dinosaurs. She suddenly understood why Monika and Yuri liked this so much.

Natsuki had whined when the food was ready, a little unwilling to drop the game to eat it. Time really did fly while playing these games. But, then again, she wasn't going to pass up pizza. She ate quickly, determined to return to the game as soon as possible, and once she did Yuri had settled with a book, leaning her back against the arm of the sofa with her feet up on the leather as she read.

A couple of hours had passed before Natsuki finally dropped the controller, stretching with a satisfied sigh. She was happy with her progress for now, but she had been promised something else that she intended to claim. Standing and turning to face Yuri, she took the other girl's hands in her own and pulled her up with a grin. "C'mon! I believe we're supposed to be napping now."

With a nod, Yuri led her back to her room, clicking the TV off and leaving the book behind on their way out. When they arrived Natsuki yawned and hesitantly removed the scarf from her neck with numb fingers. Yuri had already seen the marks. As ugly as they were she knew she wouldn't be repulsed by them. They had gotten darker over the past day, though...

The other girl climbed under the duvet, peering at her as Natsuki busied herself with the fluffy scarf. She pat the mattress beside her, holding the duvet up and Natsuki didn't hesitate to slip into the space once she was ready.

Yuri slipped her arms around her small body, sighing with pure content as Natsuki snuggled under her chin. She felt...really safe. As if Yuri would protect her from anything and everything that would come her way.

She yawned again, exhaustion overcoming her. "Can you set an alarm? I can't stay much longer." Yuri agreed sleepily, setting it to give them an hour's rest.

With a small kiss to her head, Natsuki drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep, finally able to rest without fear.