29 ~ An Empty Castle

Knowledge about the past rarely brought relief, only more questions waiting to be answered.

     At present three weeks had already passed and the castle was completely empty. I was in the dormitory and had been thinking back to the day before departure. My Wiggentree sapling was just receiving a portion of water. I checked its branches and leaves. It was doing well.     After I had watered it, I let the water drip off and closed the window. It was midday and this morning I had been in the library. After lunch I wanted to speak with Dumbledore, or I would see him at lunch. He seemed to spend all his time at Hogwarts, even if he was occasionally away.     The other professors were all gone, although Professor Sprout sometimes came by to check on her plants. Professor Kesselbrand was also seen once in a while in his hut, but otherwise no professors were present.     In the first week of August I would see all those with whom I would sit my O.W.L.s. However, I had told Professor McGonagall in advance that she would not need to make the effort to come, just like the professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts.

In these two subjects I am known to be incapable.

     That was why I tried to sit my O.W.L.s in Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, Potions and Charms. The first two subjects I should manage easily. In Potions it should also be possible and Charms would be a matter of its own. With some, no, an enormous amount of luck I would learn in late summer that I had scraped through Charms with an 'Acceptable'.     In each subject the theoretical and practical parts would be graded independently, then the overall result would be formed. So if I just managed to pass the practical part but did rather well in theory, I would have a chance.

I will let it come as it comes.

     With that thought I denied my eyes the view of the grounds. With one last glance at my tree I left the dormitory and stepped into an empty common room. It was strange, because when it was empty, I liked to spend time there.     However, I did not remain in place, since I was hungry and lunch was being served.

     Hunger drove me on, I made my way across the moving staircases and entered the Great Hall. As during the last holidays and during the Christmas holidays, only a single table stood in the hall. Unlike usual, the food did not appear magically on the table, but the house-elves brought it. They were interesting creatures. I liked them.     When I had learned that some kept them as slaves, my heart had grown heavy. I could not imagine how one could fail to treat these hardworking creatures well. At Hogwarts they worked voluntarily and at that moment I saw two of them in the Great Hall. Pleased, I noticed that Dumbledore was also present. Calmly he read the Daily Prophet, which, unlike many, he liked to do at lunch.

Yes, he is a strange fellow.

     The wise wizard noticed my approach immediately, but only when I sat down on the chair opposite him did a smile play around his lips. He looked at me with bright eyes, but I was interrupted by a house-elf, since I felt a tapping on my thigh.          "Miss Phil asked for potatoes with vegetable bake this morning, so Penny remembers. Miss Phil always drinks water and a fruit tea with it." With a snap, the food appeared steaming before me. Beside it I also spotted a muffin and Penny said, "I thought of adding a dessert, if Miss Phil likes that?"     "It is perfect, thank you, truly," I thanked her and gave her a smile. With a smile as well, the house-elf disappeared, made a small bow and padded away, then vanished with another snap.          "Wonderful creatures," I heard Dumbledore's voice.     I could only nod, since I had stuffed far too large a piece of potato into my mouth. The food tasted excellent as always, and even as a vegetarian I had plenty of choice. It might sound strange, but I did not eat meat, at least in my human form. Killing animals as a werewolf was enough for me, so as a human I did not need to eat animals. In general, when I had been a child, there had always been little meat to eat, since we had only had a small garden. Only food that we could not grow ourselves had my mother bought.     Our house had been far away at the borders of the Forbidden Forest, but still within the forest, so that it was hidden from unwanted glances. There had been other settlers in the surroundings. I knew that this settlement, Kirkwood, besides Hogsmeade was the only other one near Hogwarts.     In any case, since I had been at Hogwarts, I had eaten only vegetarian food. So I ate the next piece of potato. Today I was hungry, which had happened more often lately. Shortly before and after full moon I often had no appetite. Otherwise as well I often forgot to eat.

But that is unimportant.

     "So, Phil, what have you been up to lately?" Dumbledore asked me and folded his fingers together, which displayed many rings. His elbows were propped on the tabletop. Today he wore a dark red robe with a matching hat.          "I was in the library, looked after my Wiggentree and I still want to go and read in a courtyard. Oh, and I spoke with Nearly Headless Nick."     "And how are you getting on with the studying?"          "Quite well," I said, "I am slowly accepting that I cannot cast magic, or very little."     "I am glad that you are accepting it. Unfortunately, I fear that no one can give you back your full magical powers. Not even Professor McGonagall has completely uncovered the secret of your nature."          After his words it became quiet and I speared a pea.     "Was my father, besides the known reason, truly evil? Must I then become evil as well...?" I mumbled my questions quietly and looked at Dumbledore's fingers. Since that one day in his office shortly after my arrival, I had never again asked him about my father.          "Well," he sighed and I looked up, "you will not become evil, Phil, if you do not want to. But because of your father I must tell you that he is not good. He has not only caused you suffering, but many others as well. He abducted people, and what happened to them only he knows. However, I am certain that he conducted experiments on them in order to achieve the form of a full werewolf. So, no, Ethan J. Aquila is not good, Phil. One cannot say that he has no good sides, but he should not be someone to look up to."          "You say is, Professor Dumbledore? Do people not say he is dead?"     "The Ministry does not know. After you told me what you are, I of course had to contact the Ministry more than a year ago. Naturally only one of my closest confidants and the information that you are a full werewolf is not known to the Ministry. I also did not tell my acquaintance that you are a normal werewolf, but of course it is already known that the daughter of Ethan J. Aquila is at Hogwarts. I could do nothing about that when you decided a year ago to use this surname. As long as you are at Hogwarts, Phil, the Ministry will not learn that you are a werewolf, but investigators could quickly find it out after your graduation. Werewolves are registered in a registry at the Ministry, but many keep their lycanthropy infection secret. Naturally this registry is also secret, but only one person must gain access and everyone will know. And that is why I will leave it to you how you deal with the Ministry once you have graduated."     The headmaster nodded, but he had still not answered my question. Instead he took another breath and continued, "I cannot tell you whether your father is alive. For the time being, however, there is more evidence that he is alive and living in hiding. His death is already ruled out until new evidence appears."

He is alive?

     I dropped my fork, because I had not expected those words. I had already thought that Dumbledore had done something with my information, but learning all of that was too much. I did not want to think that my father had abducted and murdered innocents for experiments. I also did not want to know that he was an accomplice of Fenrir Greyback, of whom it was known that as a human he looked similar to a wolf. That too was probably connected with my father's experiments, which he had very likely started with Greyback.     Dumbledore had once told me about werewolves. He knew that Greyback had already had little magical power as an ordinary wizard and early werewolf. McGonagall therefore had the theory that full werewolves could only be created from werewolves with high innate magical power, in exchange for most of their magical powers.     And now learning that it was assumed my father was alive was too much for me. I did not want to know that he was walking somewhere in this world. Certainly not when it was known that his daughter was at Hogwarts.

He will not make contact with me, will he?No, he would already have done so if he had learned of Mother's death, since after their separation he had wanted to take me with him.But what if he does not yet know that she is dead, because he is living apart from everything?

     I was frightening myself too much. The person opposite me noticed my discomfort.          "You need not worry, Phil," said Dumbledore and I met his gaze, "here at Hogwarts you are safe and your secret is safe with me as well. I should not have told you so much about the secret investigation, but I think that you of all people should know it."     "In a way I want to know it too, Professor," I replied, "but he will not look for me, will he?"          "As I said; at Hogwarts you are safe, Phil."     "And if I leave Hogwarts? So before I graduate?"          "Why do you want to do that?"     "I wanted to speak with you, Professor Dumbledore. Lily Evans asked me whether it would be possible for me to visit her in the summer? For the last two weeks, I mean, and then travel back to Hogwarts with her. Yesterday I received a letter from her and her parents would have no problem with it. So-"          "You wanted to ask whether I would take you there and whether you may go?"     "Yes." Slightly tense, I studied Dumbledore. After his previous words, I did not know what his answer would be. However, I was not disappointed.          "I have told you before: Hogwarts is not a prison for you, Phil. Although I would not advise you to break off your education, I have no objection to you visiting a friend in the summer, or if you wish to live in an orphanage. I am pleased for you that you have found companionship, and I agree. You need not worry because of your father either, for if any trace of him becomes known, he would not look for you in the Muggle world. You are not putting anyone in danger and I will take you to the Evanses after your O.W.L.s. So you may send Miss Evans your agreement."     "Thank you, Professor!" I rejoiced and he laughed. I, however, pushed the thoughts of my father aside, because Dumbledore was right; at Hogwarts I was safe. For that reason I finished eating quickly and disappeared into the dormitory, where Lily's owl Snow-White was waiting for me.

     My world distorted. I felt as though someone wanted to squeeze my body through a small opening. Wanted to, although that seemed to be exactly what was happening.     My stomach protested, and when I landed on my feet, I staggered. I felt sick. I knew that I would never get used to Apparition, but I had survived it.

Or had I not?

     My eyes were tightly shut, but in the next moment I opened them. I found that I was still whole and my hand was still gripping my small suitcase, packed for the next two weeks.          Blinking, I spotted Dumbledore beside me, looking at me cheerfully, then he stepped out from behind the small hedges where we were standing. I followed.     We stepped onto a street, with many terraced houses on both sides. It was a strange sight, because I had seen many houses in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, yet I still seemed to see a difference between Muggle buildings and those of the wizarding world.     Lily lived with her family in Cokeworth, which was in central England, and today the weather was cloudy. I took my gaze from the sky and followed Dumbledore, who seemed to know his way.     My legs were covered by jeans and ordinary shoes, and because it was not especially hot today, I wore a blue shirt. Dumbledore too was wearing trousers, which was a strange sight. But since some of the neighbours were already peering out of the windows, it was appropriate. Dumbledore's long beard already drew too much attention.     The houses were made of brick. At a certain house Dumbledore stopped and went to the door. Beside the drive stood a strange vehicle with four wheels. Even now the Muggle world was strange.

The wizarding world is strange to me as well.

     The ringing of the doorbell made me turn my attention to it. From inside came a commotion and a muffled voice called, "Lily, your friend is here!"          After the call, the door was opened, and it sounded as though someone on the first floor was stumbling down the stairs.     A blonde-haired woman appeared in the doorway, dressed in the fashion of the past sixties, as I had seen in magazines from the girls. Her short hair was curled and she wore red lipstick, which harmonised with the red streaks in her hair. She looked incredibly like Lily as well.     "Mrs Evans," Dumbledore greeted her. The woman smiled.     Very soon Lily appeared as well, who seemed to have been causing the noises on the stairs. She was as tall as her mother and hugged, crushed, me in greeting.          "Phil!"     "Lily!" I gasped back and she let go of me, then took my suitcase from me and said, "Good afternoon, Professor Dumbledore," Lily looked at her mother, "this is Phil."          "I had already noticed that," her mother laughed, then her gaze fell on me. "Hello, Phil, welcome."     The woman held out her hand to me and I raised my voice: "It is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Evans, and thank you for letting me come."     "Oh, I am pleased, but that is no problem. Lily is always so diligent, so I am happy to allow something like this. But come along, you two. Mr Dumbledore, would you like to come in for a cup of tea?"          "With pleasure," Dumbledore agreed and Mrs Evans let us enter. Behind the door on the right was a staircase leading to the first floor, and straight ahead was another door at the end of the corridor, with a small window, which led into the garden.     I followed Lily's mother to the left into a large sitting room, which opened into a kitchen with dining room. The house was beautifully furnished, cosy colours dominated. The wooden floor was dark and the walls white. The furniture was still dark in the style of the sixties, but the bright cushions on the leather armchairs and sofas showed the seventies. The curtains were also a lovely red, the carpet was green.     "Oh, Lily, love, would you take Phil's suitcase up to your room?" Lily nodded, then Mrs Evans looked at me and Dumbledore, "how would you like your tea?" she asked kindly, while Lily disappeared upstairs.     After that Dumbledore and I sat down. Mrs Evans truly seemed pleased to have visitors. She told us that her husband was at work and Lily's sister was with the girl next door. At dinner, however, I would meet both of them. For the time being, I was given tea. After Lily had come back, we all spoke together until Dumbledore departed.