56

-November 27th 1997-

   At Monica and Rachel's everyone but Cassius and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.

Chandler:"Entering".Aw turkey!.Aw giving thanks!.Aw!.

Phoebe:Look everyone it’s the spirit of Thanksgiving!.

Joey:Yeah.

Tabitha:So are things with you and Cassie any better?.

Chandler:They couldn’t be worse.I spent eight hours calling him last night just trying to get him to talk to me.

Rachel:Oh wow eight hours?.So you could probably really use one of those plug in telephone headsets huh?.

Ross:Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?.

Rachel:You shouldn’t.

Phoebe:Speaking of Christmas um since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money um this year maybe we could do secret Santa and then we each only buy one gift.A-and there’s the added mystery of who gets who.

Ross:Who gets whom.

We  all look at Ross.

Ross:I don’t know why I do that.

    Later on we are all minus Cassius are watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.

Rachel:Well I’m gonna take a nap turkey makes me sleepy.

Monica:We haven’t eaten yet!.

Rachel:I know but all that work you’re doing to get it ready I just…"Goes into her bedroom".

Chandler:Hey by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa cause I wanna trade for her.

Phoebe:I picked her!.Oh thank God you want her.Oh!.

Chandler:Wow!.Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?.

Phoebe:Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets it’s like impossible to get her something she likes.Come on let’s trade!.

Chandler:Oh that’s not true!.That’s not true!.I got her that backpack and she loved it!.I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it…

   Me,Monica and Phoebe give him a look and Joey joins.

Chandler:Oh there was no big dog.All right this sucks!.I already got her this briefcase and I had R.G. put on it…

Phoebe looks confused.

Chandler:Her initials…

Phoebe:Oh.

Monica:Well maybe you could give to somebody else.Oh like Ross Geller.

Chandler:Op you know what though it’s kind’ve a girlie briefcase.

Monica:Who cares?.He works in a museum!.

Joey:Hey what time is it?.The big game is about to start!.

Phoebe:You don’t have to do that Ross and Cassius aren’t here you guys watch the parade if you want.

Chandler:Thanks.

Monica:What is wrong with this freezer?!."Jabs her arm into the freezer".Ow!.Ow!.

Joey:God what happened?!.

Monica:Oh my God ice just got in my eye!.

Rachel:"Standing in her doorway".People are trying to sleep in here!.

Chandler:Monica got ice in her eye and it hurts.

Phoebe:Open it up let me see.

Monica:Oh you know what I can’t it really kills.

Chandler:Well maybe you should put some ice on it.

Phoebe:Oh God it looks bad.

Rachel:Honey maybe we should take you to a doctor.

Monica:No my eye doctor is Richard!.I can’t go to him when I don’t have a boyfriend.

Tabitha:"Sarcasically".He’s really picky about his patients.

Phoebe:Honey you’ve got to go.What’s his office number?.

Monica:Like I remember his office number!...Speed dial 7.

Phoebe:"In phone".Hi!.Yeah I’m calling on behalf of Monica Geller’s eye and is um is Richard Burke in today."To Monica".He’s out of town but does she want to see the on call doctor?.

Monica:Yes!.

Phoebe:Yes!.She’s very excited about that.

*****************************************

   Phoebe is adding butter to something and Ross is watching.

Phoebe:This is so cool til Monica gets back it’s like I’m head chef and I get to make all the decisions.

   Phoebe looks at the remaining butter and then decides to add it to the dish.

Ross:Hey-hey I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!.

Phoebe:Okay get out of my kitchen!.

Chandler:"Entering".All right!.Okay!.I think I am making some progress with Cassius when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once!...I mean yeah he gave me the finger while doing it.

Phoebe:All right I-I gotta call my mom and ask her a left handed cooking question.

Tabitha:And Me and Joey have something to tend to.

Joey:We d-

I hit him in the stomach.

Joey:Oh yeah.

   Me and Joey leave to our apartment.And later at Monica and Rachel's It’s closer to dinner and Monica has just told us that Richards son Tim is coming to dinner.

Ross:He’s coming here for Thanksgiving!.

Rachel:I know it’s sick.

Monica:Why is it sick?.

Rachel:Because it’s Richard’s son!.It’s like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!.

Monica:Hey come on Phoebe you understand don’t you?.

Phoebe:Yeah I can see where I’d be your best shot but no I’m sorry but I think it’s twisted.

Ross:Yeah.

Joey:"Coming out of the bathroom".What’s twisted?.

Monica:Me going out with Richard’s son.

Joey:Ew!,Ew!,Ew!,Ew!.

Chandler:"In a box".Sounds like a really bad idea to me.

Rachel:Is he okay in there?.

Cassius:He’s fine!.

Tabitha:Hey you know Mon if things work out between you and Richard’s son you’d be able to tell your kids that you slept with their grandfather.

Monica:Fine!.Judge all you want to but"Points to Ross".Married a lesbian."Points to Rachel".Left a man at the altar."Points to Phoebe".Fell in love with a gay ice dancer."Points to Joey".Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire."Points to Tabitha".Waited 7 years to tell Joey you loved him back."Points to Chandler".Living in a box!."Points to Cassius".And you broke a woman's arm on a date."Goes to her room".

Rachel:So now what exactly is the point of the box?.

Cassius:Chandler?.

Chandler:The meaning of the box is three fold.One."Holds a finger up through the air hole".It gives me the time to think about what I did.Two."Holds up another finger".It proves how much I care about my friendship with Cassius.And three."Holds up a third finger".It hurts!.

Ross:"To Rachel".Oh hey!.Hey uh you remember the necklace I gave you last year?.Can I see it?.

Rachel:Why?.

Ross:I just wanna check something.

Rachel:Okay."Goes into her bedroom".

Ross:"Puts his hand over the hole on the box".Now we’ll see.

Chandler:Air hole!.Air hole!.

Ross takes his hand away quickly.

Rachel:"Coming out of her bedroom with a necklace".Here it is!.I love it.I wear it all the time.

Ross:"Grabbing the necklace".The necklace I got you was gold this one is silver.

Rachel:Huh well maybe it uh it changed.

Ross:Oh my God!.You actually exchanged it!.

Rachel:Well isn’t it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of?.

Ross:What did you get?.

Rachel:Credit.

   There’s a knock on the door and Monica runs from her bedroom.

Monica:I’ll get it!.I’ll get it!.I’ll get it!.I’ll get it!."Opens the door".Hi Tim.

Tim:Hi."Gives her a bottle of wine".

Monica:Thank you.Come meet my friends. This is uh Phoebe.

Tim:Hi nice to meet you.

Monica:And Joey and his wife my sister Tabitha.

Tabitha,Joey:Hey!.

Tim:Hi Joey.Tabitha.

Monica:My brother Ross.

Ross:Hey.

Monica:And Rachel.

Chandler clears his voice loudly.

Monica:And that’s Chandler.

Chandler:How do ya do.

Tim:What’s…

Monica:Um well he’s…

Cassius:He’s doing some thinking!.

   Later on Me,Joey,Rachel,Ross and Tim are watching the football game and everyone but me all cheer loudly.

Chandler:What happened?.What happened?!.

Cassius:You kissed my girlfriend!.

A commercial for sunglasses comes on.

Rachel:Oh I like those sunglasses.

Ross:Like em,like em?.Or I’d like to get store credit for that amount like em?.

Rachel:"Swears in Italian".

Me and Joey nods in approval.

Monica:All right everybody this turkey is ready!.

Tim:Where can I wash up?.

Monica:Here let me show you.Okay the towels are hanging next to the sink and um you can use the fancy soap.

Tim:Thank you.

Rachel:Fancy soap?.I thought we were saving that for the Pope!.

Monica:See he’s nice.Right?.

Phoebe:Yeah but Monica do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase That’s not how your dad used to do it.

Tim:Wow!.Everything looks great!.Where should I sit?.

Monica:I saved you a seat."Motions to the one next to her".

Rachel:"Pouring the wine".Sick-sick-sick-sick.

There’s a loud knocking.

Phoebe:Oh I’ll get it."Goes over to the door".

Chandler:Gotcha!."Laughs".

Cassius:That doesn’t sound like thinking to me.

Chandler:Sorry!.

Cassius:You know I don’t think you should be talking at all in there!.I think you’ve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!.

Chandler:Okay,okay you got it!.

Tabitha:Hey Joey let's go have our Thanksgiving dinner.

Joey:"Nods".

   Me and Joey go to our apartment to get away ftom the arguing and have a personal dinner as a married couple.