55

-November 13th 1997-

   At Monica and Rachel's Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards while Me and Joey are sitting in a chair cuddling and Phoebe is working on a new song.

Phoebe:"Singing".Little,tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair.Swinging with the greatest of ease...Darn it!.Now I don’t know who to get to the next verse.

Ross:Oh you could just go uh greatest of ease… "Plays air guitar".BAH-bah-bha-bhannn...Then go right into it.

Phoebe:Yeah oh I like that!.Yeah.Wait!.How do you know about bah-bah-bha-bhan?.

Ross:Well um you know I used to play.

Phoebe:Oh yeah that’s right the keyboards huh?.

Ross:Yeah just a little in high school but then I really got into it in college.I mean th-that’s when I really found my sound.

   Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that and  laughs and snorts her drink.

Monica:Oh God!.Orange juice just came out of my nose but it was totally worth it.Oh my God I completely forgot about your sound.

Ross:Yeah.

Tabitha:"Smirking".He used to lock himself in the basement for hours.No one was ever allowed to hear The Sound.

Phoebe:I wanna hear The Sound.

Ross:Really?.No.I mean nah I haven’t played in so long a-and well i-it’s really personal stuff you know?.

Phoebe:Come on play that funky music white boy.

Joey:Yeah!.

Ross:No you guys I mean my keyboards are all the way up in No,yeah,okay."Runs out".

  Later on in the day Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to play The Sound.

Ross:Okay guys.

Chandler:All right!.Bring it on you…

Ross:Here we go."Plays one note".You know I-I’ve never played my stuff for anyone before so it’s important th-that you understand it’s about communicating very private emotions."Plays another note". You know um you should,you should think of um my work as wordless sound poems. That’s what I’m…

Chandler:Oh my God!.Play!.

   Ross starts to play.He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it.Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog,a mooing cow,a laser beam, someone coughing,a jackhammer,a doorbell,a police siren,a ray gun,breaking dishes and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash.

Monica:Boy that was...that was um… terrific.

Chandler:Really bitchin!.

Phoebe:Wow it was so wow!.

Ross:Really?!.I mean really?!.

Rachel:Yeah I mean you should play in public!.

Ross:Wow!.Thanks you guys.That’s uh oh I wanna,I wanna play you another piece!. Um!.Uh-oh!.I left my uh helicopter sounds on another disk.I’ll be right back!.Okay?."Runs to fetch them".This is so nice I’m I am so…"Leaves".

Monica:Oh God bless my dad sound proofing the basement!.

Rachel:Oh I can’t believe I ever let him touch me with those fingers.

Phoebe:What are you guys talking about I loved it!.It was soo moving.Oh plus it’s just it’s so different from the stuff you usually hear.

Chandler:You mean like music?.

*****************************************

   At Central Perk Ross is performing his music.

Ross:"His voice like a computer".Electrifying."Plays the sound of a ticking clock".Emphatic time-time-time…

Monica:"To Rachel,Phoebe".You know there’s a Starbucks about three blocks down.

Phoebe:"Pushing Monica back onto the couch".It’s so inspired!.Look at him!.Look at him go!.

   Ross finally finishes his song with the same crash from before.He gets some applause.

Ross:"With the altered voice".Thank you guys-guys-guys…

Tabitha:"To Phoebe".Hey, aren’t you up next?

Phoebe:Oh no I’m not playing tonight.

Rachel:Why not?.

Phoebe:I can’t follow Ross!.It’d be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles.No.

Monica:Phoebe...Ross sucks!.

Rachel:Phoebe the place has emptied because of him.

Phoebe:Oh my God he’s not even appreciated in his own time.I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!.

Rachel and Monica look at each other.

Monica:Okay.Um Phoebe you suck too.

Rachel:Yeah Phoebe you’re…awful!.

Phoebe:You guys.You suck too."Hugs them both".

*****************************************

   At Central Perk Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters.Ross is also here along with Me and Joey.

Ross:Hey Chandler!.Saw the new furniture. Very nice.

Monica:Yeah!.Cassius has the best boyfriend ever!.

I laugh at the comment.

Chandler:I kissed Kathy.

Joey,Tabitha:What?.

Monica:Are you serious?.

Phoebe:Does Cassie know?.

Chandler:No.Is there anyway,anyway you think he’ll understand this?.

Monica:You obviously haven’t screwed over a lot of your friends.

We all look at her.

Monica:Which we all appreciate.

Ross:No th-the sad thing is if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her knowing Cassius he probably just would’ve just stepped aside.

Chandler:Oh don’t say that!.Don’t say that. That’s not true.Is it?.

Phoebe:I think maybe yeah.

Monica:He loves you.

Chandler:Then why didn’t you tell me to do that?!.

Ross:Well I said,I said something to Phoebe.

Phoebe:Yeah!.No that’s right.And I thought it was a really good idea.

Rachel:I know I remember that!.

Monica:I remember you did.

Chandler:God!."Sits down".What am I gonna do?!.

Rachel:Well Chandler you’re gonna have to tell him.

Chandler:Why?!.Why do I have to tell him?!.

Tabitha:Because you do.

Chandler:Yeah I know.

Ross:Hey would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.

*****************************************

   At Central Perk Ross is playing his music.While Me,Joey,Monica,Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.

Phoebe:Oh my God he’s lost it.He’s totally lost it.

Monica:"Removing ear plugs".What?.

Rachel:Phoebe his music could not get any worse.There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.

   Ross finally finishes with the same crash and gets some applause.

Ross:Thank you,thanks.

Ross sits down next to us.

Ross:Yeah I lost it.You know I’m not gonna play anymore."To Phoebe".Would you can you finish my set?.

Phoebe:After that?.Yeah!.No I mean if I can help.

   Phoebe gets up and goes to play as Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel and Me and Joey get up and go cuddle in a nearby chair.

Ross:Yeah like I could lose it.

Rachel:What?.

Ross:I played bad on purpose guys.

Both Monica and Rachel laugh.

Monica:Okay so you were trying to play bad this whole time.

Ross:Yeah no just that last song.

I whisper to Joey.

Tabitha:Why don't we go home and we can play a song of our own."Winks".

Joey:Oh I like the sound of that."Smirks".