Chapter 108

Katniss

"Sirens are screaming, But I can't hear a single sound, And I'm feeling uneasy, And I wait, and I wait for a change to come around." -Kodaline

I am not surprised to find myself again, in a hospital. I'm here all the time. Seriously, all the time. I've begun to think of it as my second home over the years. Some of the nurses know me by my first name, and even though the whole country does, it's still impressive. A few of them have my whole case memorized from having to look at it so often.

But this hospital trip is a little different than the usual ones. A simple concoction of agony and adrenaline course through my veins, and I find myself playing out the story of how I got here over and over in my head, my eyes glaring through the darkness.

In the story, it's morning. I wake up next to Peeta. He's sound asleep still, the birds just beginning to sing their morning song outside my windows. I immediately get up to check on Willow, a habit I've gotten into since she was taken. The floorboards creak a bit as my bare feet step quietly on top of them. While this house is beautiful, it's starting to age a little. But then again, so are Peeta and I.

I peek my head into Willow's room, looking first at the bed with the sleeping girl in it, then around at the pale green walls, covered in little drawings she's made and paintings by her father. Feeling relieved that everything is in its place, I head back to my own room.

I sit back down on the side of the bed before easing myself into a reclined position under the covers. Because I'm so pregnant, it's the only way I can lie down.

My brain wanders back to Willow's 6th birthday, and then my own 29th. Peeta and I are young parents, but it's only because what happened to us wasn't planned. We would have waited a bit, maybe another 5 years, to have a baby. However, we know that if we had waited, we wouldn't have such a beautiful daughter. Even though we're young, we're grown up. We were grown up at 17, faced with terrible odds and inevitable tragedy, over and over again.

Since Willow's birthday and mine are so close, only a day apart, our celebrations create a happy couple of days. Both days were beautiful, sunny but not too hot. My birthday, which came first, was quiet. We didn't do much, but we spent lots of time together, just the 3 of us. It was just what I wanted, especially since I was 8 months along and too big to do anything fun. Peeta surprised me with a special cake that he'd been working on for weeks at the bakery.

Willow's birthday was more celebratory. She wanted a party, so that's what we did. We invited some of her friends from her class and had, well, a party. The kids enjoyed it, I think, and Willow was over the moon.

I smile at the memories. Peeta's birthday, which is in October, is coming up in a couple of months. That means I need to start planning something, because it takes me forever to come up with something as special as Peeta deserves. I've always loved the way Peeta was born in October. The way the leaves on the trees turn golden and orange and red is so beautiful. And the orange ones? They're Peeta's favorite color, just like the sunset.

Peeta is the fall. He is the cool, crisp, refreshing air after a hot summer. He is the coziness that people crave after a chilly day. He is the warm cup of tea in cold hands. He is the color that the leaves turn to as the days shorten and temperatures fall. He is the fall.

And me? I guess I'm the spring. Peeta would say that. He would say that I am the spring. I am the rebirth after the dead of winter. I am the warmth that thaws the frozen earth beneath our feet. I am the reemergence of life, the return of nature. I am the melting away of the snow, both literally and metaphorically. I am the spring.

Soon enough, when I resurface into reality after my thoughts of birthdays and seasons, Peeta wakes up too. He rolls over, towards where I lay, and so I roll onto my side to meet him. His sleepy eyes gaze into mine, which must look more awake."Good morning, sleepyhead," I say sarcastically.He just smiles at me.

"Why are you smiling?" "Because," he says. "Waking up next to you is my favorite part of the day." "Oh, stop it!" I tell him, thumping him on the forehead and causing him to move his head back away from me."You know it's true," he says."I love you," I tell him. "But you're being sappy. Much too sappy for me."

"Hey, it's just one of my talents," he says. I laugh a little bit. I feel the baby kick in my stomach and I am once again reminded of the fact that I am fostering new life inside of me.

I take Peeta's hand and place it on the side of my stomach, where the little one's steady kicks can be felt."He's saying hello to you," I tell Peeta."How do you know that's really what he's saying? What if he's just saying that he's hungry or something?" He asks."Mother's intuition. I promise," I tell him, laughing.

As if on cue, my stomach growls."I mean, or not," I say, taking back my words.Peeta laughs and starts to get out of bed."I'll go fix us some breakfast," Peeta says.

I stay upstairs and decide that I'll try to shower. I undress and examine my body in the mirror. My stomach has become a patchwork of scars and skin and stretch-marks. I hate it, but I love it at the same time. It's ugly, but it's beautiful. The scars, sure, they're not pretty, but the stretch marks and the discoloref, uneven skin are remains of when Willow was inside of me.

After my shower, which was more of a struggle than anything, I dry myself off and get dressed again. None of my old clothes fit anymore, of course, so I put on some of the clothes that Peeta and I got that would fit my growing stomach. I choose a cream-colored tank top and a pair of army green pants. It's a miracle that the pants even fit me. They're a bit of a squeeze, but not much of the other stuff goes with the shirt.

I braid my hair carefully, the way my mother used to, try to cover up the scarred words on my arm with some foundation, and move on with the day. I head downstairs in my stocking-feet and find Peeta putting out plates of breakfast on the table.

"Perfect timing," Peeta says, coming over to give me a quick kiss. Willow comes running over to me and I crouch down to meet her."Good morning, mommy!" She says, smiling widely."Hey, Will," I reply, kissing her forehead.

"How do you feel today, mommy?" She asks. "I'm fine, baby," I tell her."And how's the baby feeling today?" She asks."I think your little brother is feeling pretty good today," I say.

Peeta, Willow, and I eat breakfast slowly. I'm not sure if they just feel like eating slowly and taking our time, but I know that's not the case for me. I'm just trying to take it all in. There's a baby inside of me that's due in a few weeks, so this could be one of my last breakfasts with just Peeta and Willow. It feels weird, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm excited to finally meet my son, who I've been keeping safe inside of me, but it scares me to have another life to be responsible for. It scares me to bring another little baby into a world where my children have targets on their backs every day.

--

An hour or two later, Peeta and I sit on the couch together. The TV is on idly in the background, but neither of us really pay attention. Willow naps peacefully in the chair across the living room.

Suddenly I feel a gush, and then I'm just wet. The spot on the couch where I sit is too. "Peeta..." I say cautiously. "I don't want to scare you, but I think my water might have just broken."

"What?" Peeta asks, his eyes widening."I... I think my water just broke," I repeat."Katniss, are you sure?" He asks.After a moment of thinking, I nod."I'm positive," I tell him.

"Oh my God," he says, starting the pre-parental panic. "Oh my God. We have to get you to the hospital. Like, now. What time is it?" He says."I don't know, it's like 11:00 AM," I tell him."Okay," he says, taking a deep breath. "Okay. Go get ready to go and I'll go take Willow to Haymitch's house."

"Tell her how much I love her," I tell him quietly before hurrying upstairs to start grabbing things I want to take with me. I grab a change of clothes to wear after I have the baby, the old locket from the Quell, and a little blue baby hat from the nursery for the baby to wear after he's born.

Once I'm ready and Willow's at her Uncle Haymitch's house, Peeta and I head off to the hospital, where I'm sure they've been preparing for my arrival one of these days. When we get there, Peeta speaks to the nurse at the triage desk and someone fetches a wheelchair for me. A medical bracelet is fastened on my wrist before I have time to breathe. They identify me as a fall risk with another red bracelet, probably because I'm so pregnant and so unstable.

Everything happens so, so quickly. I'm rushed to a room in the maternity wing, then I'm stuck with needles a few times before getting a working IV in my arm. Doctor Lucia comes in the room, excited for me but very focused. After she asks Peeta to step outside the room for a moment, she gives me an exam. Everything was going so fast, but I'm finally able to take a breath.

It's just Doctor Lucia and myself now. The room is quiet, so she tries to make some small talk with me as she goes through the exam. "I'm sorry this is so uncomfortable," she says, trying to mind where her fingers go. "But it has to be done. Don't worry, Katniss, I've done so many of these exams on mothers before. Seeing certain parts doesn't faze me anymore. So it doesn't need to faze you either."

"Oh, it's alright," I say quietly."Good!" She says, smiling. "Well, it does look like you are leaking amniotic fluid, which means that your water broke. Congrats! Looks like you're going to have this baby soon!"

"Now," she says, pulling up a chair after she finishes my exam. "How has the rest of your pregnancy been?" "Better," I tell her."Any more issues with speaking?" She asks, referencing back to the scary time of my brain infection."No. I think everything went away," I tell her."Are you still taking the medication?" She asks.I nod my head.

"Okay," she says, taking a deep breath. "Now, it's been a while since your last ultrasound. Everything looked okay back then, but I just need you to understand that there is still a possibility that something could have changed.""You're telling me there's something wrong with my baby?" I ask."No, no. I'm not saying that. I'm just telling you that there is still a possibility that there could be some averse effects on the baby from it. But remember what we said, Katniss? We won't know until he's out," she explains. I nod, acting like I'm not scared at all. On the inside, though, I'm suddenly terrified.

"One last thing," she says, lowering her voice. "How have you been feeling lately? Katniss, I don't want you to lie to me. I need you to tell me what's been going on with you.""Whats been going on with me?" I ask her. "Why? Have you heard something?""No," she says, starting to get suspicious. "Is there something I should have heard about?"

"The antidepressants are fine. I guess they've helped a bit. Nothing too drastic, but little things. I'm fine, really," I say, putting on a smile."Katniss, I don't mean to be rude, but as one of your many doctors, I reserve the right to say this. Cut the crap, okay?" She says.

"Okay, listen," I tell her. "You're going to freak out. You're not going to be happy, but I did what I had to do to get my daughter back to safety. I don't feel like telling you the details. I'm about to go into labor any minute, so I hope you understand. Long story short, I took a knife in the shoulder. Peeta stitched it up. It's okay, I think."

Instead of freaking out, though, she sits stone-faced and unfazed. No story I tell can really faze any of my doctors. "I presume it was the Gold Hinge, right? You fought them off? Away from your daughter?" She asks.I just nod."Well, that's pretty badass if you ask me. I'll make sure we have someone check Peeta's work and do any extra fixing up we see necessary. But after you have the baby," she says.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," she says, getting out of the chair and returning it to its rightful spot. "I have some other patients to tend to. Make sure someone notifies me if you go--"

I interrupt her sentence with gasp. Pain tears through my body suddenly, without warning. I clutch the side of the hospital bed and call out in pain."Well, I guess I won't be needing notified anymore," she says, implying that this is the start of labor. "Remember how it felt, Katniss. When you held Willow for the first time, it was pure joy, right? Just remember that feeling. I promise, it'll help. This is just temporary. The reward? It lasts a lifetime."

She leaves the room and alerts Peeta that I've just had my first contraction. Peeta rushes in and pulls up the chair again, ready to sit at my side while contraction after contraction tears through my fragile body.

So that's how I got here, in this hospitals bed, in this hospital room, in this hospital. I guess my baby, my little boy, will be coming into the world soon. Now? I just have to get though this.

*** Hey guys!

Okay, I realize that in the books, Peeta's birthday was never directly stated, unlike Katniss's was. That being so, I had to take some creative liberty in choosing the month and the season. I chose fall, specifically October, because I think it best compliments when Katniss's birthday is. Spring and Fall balance each other out, and that's exactly what Peeta and Katniss do. Just an explanation for anyone wondering!

Also!! If you haven't already, please check out my other story! It's called Mended and, of course, it's everlark. Bc I'm everlark as hell. That's it. There's only a few parts published so far, but if you love this story.... I'm pretty sure you'll love that one too! :) Gracias!

-Aly***