Chapter 98

Katniss

"Cause I'm bleeding out, so if the last thing that I do is to bring you down, I'll bleed out for you." -Imagine Dragons

"Peeta?" I yell for him. There's no answer. I try to whip my head around and pry the hands away from my throat, but this person, this man is stronger than I am. "Peeta!" I cry out, my throat starting to throb and my breathing starting to become harder to carry out.

"Shut up!" A voice says to me.But it's not just any voice. It's Peeta's voice. I throw my elbow out at him and fight back as hard as I can, trying to break free from his grasp.

When I do break free, my worst fears have been realized. It's Peeta. He's the one attacking me. "Peeta!" I yell, backing away from him. "What's going on with you?" "You monster!" He screams. "You did this to her! You're the reason she's broken! You messed her up! You did this to her!"

The words are scared right out of my mouth. I can't do anything but keep trying to back away from him."Peeta, stop! This isn't real!" I yell. I don't know what he's seeing, but he thinks I'm Snow."Shut up!" He yells again, this time coming for my throat again.

He slams me up against the wall of the kitchen, knocking a picture of us on our wedding day to the ground. He's holding me up against the wall by throat, pinning me there with his sheer strength.

I feel my breath escaping me and tears start to pour down my face."Peeta! It's me! It's Katniss. We're married Peeta, our daughter is at school and I'm pregnant. Peeta, it's me! It's your wife, you... Love me!" I rasp out the last part.

My breathing sounds labored and wheezy and is becoming harder and harder.I kick and kick until he finally lets go. I run out of the kitchen to the living room and keep the distance between us large.

"Peeta, stop! It's not real." I sob rasping as he comes near me again. I can feel my throat and neck already starting to bruise and swell. All I can do is back away from him. Maybe if I keep out of reach for long enough, he'll snap out of it.

But once I've backed into the corner of the room, I know I'm in trouble. I squeeze my eyes shut so as to not watch my husband coming to attack me."You put her through this! It's your fault she's sick like this! You bastard!" He screams as he gets closer and closer. Soon I can feel his heavy breathing on my face. I can practically feel him move his arm to swipe for my neck again.

And for some reason, I don't fight back anymore. I don't know why I don't bother to fight this Peeta for the sake of my baby, my daughter, and for the real Peeta, but I don't."Fine." I try to whisper."What did you say?" He yells."I said fine! Kill me, then. I'm not going to fight you, Peeta. But I want you to know that the real you is in there fighting to stop this you from doing this. Peeta, fight this. Please. I'm so scared. I'm so scared." I try to get out. But there's already too much swelling in my neck for me to speak normally without my voice cracking and breaking.

"I am going to kill you, you bastard. You deserve to die like this!" He says.I try to remember that this isn't Peeta and that he thinks I'm someone else, but I'm still stung by these words. The next thing I know, my face is throbbing with pain and I'm on the ground staring at the ceiling. He's on top of me and I can feel the relentless pain and pressure of both his hands on my neck again.

It's not like before. This time I can't breathe at all. My lungs ache and I feel all the pressure rushing to my face. It hurts so bad, I think I'm clawing at Peeta's hands and forearms. I'm trying to do anything to get air into my lungs. I wouldn't be surprised if my eyes popped out of my head. And it hurts. It hurts so bad and I'm trying to scream for help. Peeta is screaming at me. I want Peeta to look me in the eyes. He needs to see my eyes and maybe he'll snap out of it. But he's not looking at my face anymore.

I try to see where he is, but spots of blood from vessels in my eyes bursting are clouding my vision. He's looking somewhere that, if I remember correctly, is near the door to the house. I think I hear running and shouting coming toward us, but I already feel my vision starting to darken and my eyes rolling back. This is it, I think to myself regretfully. My head lolls to the side and I shut my eyes.

Then I think I feel the hands come off of my neck. I feel myself trying to inhale air into my lungs, but it gets stuck somewhere in my throat. Instead of the rise and fall of my chest, there's just small convulsions from me trying to get air to where it won't go.

I think I hear voices, maybe even someone crying, and then there are hands under my body. There's two, or maybe there's four. I can't really tell. And in reality, I don't really care. I'll let them handle this, now, because my lungs feel like they're on fire and I simply cannot hold on any longer.

--

I wake, of course, in the familiar setting of a hospital room. I think I have a neck brace on, so I reach my hands up to check. Almost immediately, I feel the urge to rip it off so I can breathe better. It feels like it's choking me, just like Peeta did...Just like Peeta did.

A pair of hands removes mine from my neck brace. I want so badly for them to be Haymitch's or, even better, Peeta's, but they're not. They're a woman's.

"Mrs. Mellark, don't touch your neck. We need to let the swelling go down. Try to calm down. Breathe in and out through your nose, please. And please, Mrs. Mellark, don't speak." She says quietly.

She stands over me so we can make eye contact. Her skin is olive and she has some of the darkest hair I've ever seen. My eyes are wide as I try to stop my panicking. I want to rip this thing off.

"Do you want me to explain?" She asks.I can't nod, and I certainly can't use my voice, so I just blink at her.

"Okay, just keep trying to calm down. I'll tell you. Can I sit?" She asks respectfully.I blink again.She sits on the edge of the bed and keeps my hands in a tight grip.

"There was an accident, Mrs. Mellark. I'm going to assume you remember, and if you don't, I'll spare you the details until later. You have serious bruising to your neck, some damage to your vocal chords, and some swelling of your neck and throat. We're going to leave the brace on until the swelling goes down a bit. We're keeping you isolated from everyone, especially your husband, until we can get his situation figured out and make sure you're safe. Then we'll allow people in here." She says.

She pauses, and then continues."Your husband is a mess right now. When you guys see each other, you'll want to be careful what you say. Not to give you a script or anything, but make sure you tell him that you're okay and that your baby is somehow okay, by some miracle. What a tough little one you've got in there. Tough as nails. But I see where they get it from." She says, smiling.

She lets me know that I'm okay and soon lets go of my hands. She hands me a pen and a small notepad and asks if I want to write Peeta a note to tell him I'm okay. I get scared at the idea at first, but I decide that I would want that if I were him. Even if it's just a note.

I do my best to feel out my writing, since I can hardly see because I can't move my head or neck.I do my best to write.Peeta, I write. I cross it out after a moment and rip the page off. On the fresh page, I start again, but this time with the words My Love,

Oh, Katniss. Spoken like a true wordsmith, I think to myself. Sure, it sounds a bit over the top, but he could probably use it.

My Love,I'm okay. I'm doing just fine. I don't want you to worry about me or feel any more guilt about this. I know that it wasn't you, and you thought that it wasn't me. I understand. I'm not mad, nor have I stopped loving you because of this. Nothing could make me stop loving you. Tell Willow that mommy is okay and that I love and miss her. I can't wait until I can see you again, Peeta. I love you.

Katniss

I hand the pen and paper back to the woman and she gives me a pitiful smile.She tears off the paper and tells me she's going to go give it to him right now and that he's going to appreciate it.

I hope he does. The last thing I want is for him to feel guilty, even though he's never going to forgive himself.

She turns the lights off in my room as she leaves, probably implying that I should sleep. I try to calm the couple few urges to rip my brace off and try to think about my life before I was in this dark hospital room, still struggling to breathe well.

I love you, Peeta. I'm okay. I'm not going to leave you because of this. I will always be here... I try to tell him through my thoughts, even though I don't know where he is or what he's doing. Maybe if I think hard enough, he'll know. Maybe if I think hard enough, he'll understand.

And maybe, if I really think, I'll understand too.

***A shorter chapter since I did it all in one day. I didn't want to keep you waiting because some of you seemed really distraught over that cliffhanger. Whoa there, everyone.

Anyway, I hope you like it! Were you surprised or were you, like, a genius who knew it was Peeta immediately. Let me know what you think!

-Aly***