Chapter 15

Riley never hungs up on anyone , she's too nice for that . I tried calling back but there was no answer . It was around 10 p.m when i received a call but it wasn't Riley , it was Farkle .

"Farkle ? What's up ?" I asked sounding concerned .

"I wanted to ask if you're ok."

"I'm fine . What's the matter ?"

"Its Riley . After i went out of your house , she was waiting for me at the parking lot ground just across your street . I wasn't sure why but she asked me out for some froyo . While we were sitting around and eating , her phone rang and i saw your caller ID . She deliberately ignored it even after knowing it was you."

I scratched the back of my head , "Oh .."

"You both aren't fighting right ?"

"No , we would never .. but i sure do know what's going on."

"What do you mean ?"

"Oh you'll see . I'll see you in school tomorrow . Goodnight"

"Ok then .. Goodnight Maya."

I threw my phone in my bedside drawer and lay my head down on my pillow . If i'm right and i'm pretty sure i am then according to what i'm seeing , Riley has feelings for Farkle ! No wonder she was all twitchy when she heard Farkle was coming over , i bet if she had the guts to , she would have invited herself to crash in me and Farkle's group work .

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The day after , I picked Riley up at her house and as usual we walked to school together , arm in arm . While at the subway station waiting for the train , i took the opportunity to ask her the question .

"You like Farkle." I exclaimed , being straightforward .

"What ?! No i don't . Where did you even get that ?" Riley answered looking bewildered .

"Oh Riles come on , you know you can't hide things from me. You have feelings for Farkle . ADMIT IT." I stared straight into her eyes .

She wiped off the sweat coming down from her head then nodded softly .

"Yes .. I do have feelings for Farkle .. But how'd you know ?"

I smirked , "I have my ways."

"Well .. I know you have feelings for Lucas."

"Woah .. What ? Mr Howdy McBuckle ? " I scoffed

"Farkle told me everything..."

"HE DID WHAT ?! Ugh . Farkle ."

"Ok , you caught me .. but don't tell Josh . Its just confused feelings and why did he tell you anyway ?" i added .

"I told him i wasn't into Lucas anymore like my feelings faded or something but i didn't tell him about my feelings towards him . I guess after Farkle dumped me as a project partner for you , i realised that i was jealous and kinda hurt . I wasn't at all excited about getting to do it with Lucas and i'm pretty sure by the looks of his face , he'd rather do it with you ."

"And .. you're ok with that ?"

Riley nodded and smiled , "You have my blessings."

"So what about Josh ?" Riley asked .

"I don't know Riles . I have feelings for both and makes me feel guilty .. I do however , have a way to handle this."

"Alright , i trust you do the right thing."

"So .. When are you gonna confess your feelings to him hmmm ?" I smirked and nudged my elbow at Riley who is now concentrated at her phone .

"Never . He must not know . Besides , we have this wonderful text relationship now , see ." Riley showed me her phone , on the screen it showed her text messages to Farkle and his replies .

"Really ? You're going with the same technique ?"

"Hey , you have my ways , i have mine ."

"Whatever you say" I smiled .

After we reached school , it was straight to History class . We sat down at our usual seats and none of us spoke to each other . The atmosphere has never felt this tense before . Throughout the entire lesson none of us volunteered to answer questions like we normally would . We all stared at Mr Matthews , just like the other students in the class . Mr Matthews came to realise our solitary behaviour and decided to ask aloud .

"What happened to all four of my enthusiastic children ?"

"We're tired sir." replied Lucas .

Mr Matthews stared at the four of us for a long time and made a choice not to interrupt our mood that morning so he continued on with the lesson . As soon as the bell rang , all of us ran out of class for lunch period . Lucas and i kept giving each other glances while Riley was trying to avoid eye contact with anyone altogether . It had become the longest school day of my life because none of us spoke to each other and we pretended neither of us existed . Then came after school where i had planned to meet up with Josh . I was anxious but i knew it was the right thing to do .

I met up with Josh at the cafe across the street from school . No it wasn't starbucks , i'm not that typical . The cafe was very quiet , it had a vintage vibe to it and i loved it . He pulled my chair out and ordered a mocha frappe for the both of us . He started to ask about my day and how it went then we continued on talking until it came to asking about how his day went , so on and so forth . After awhile i became silent . I thought about the purpose of wanting to meet him and i didn't realise i was staring at him during entire time while i was lost in thoughts .

"Josh .. I have something to tell you.." i stammered as i spoke .

"What is it ?" he placed his hands on top of mine and gazed into my eyes .

I hesitantly pulled out my hand from under his and placed it on my laps . He looked over at me with surprise and much concern .

"Maya ? Is everything alright ?" He asked

"No its not .. Josh , i'm sorry i have to tell you this .. But i have feelings for Lucas ." I paused for awhile trying to catch my breath then i continued . "I asked for us to meet today for me to tell you that i've had that feelings towards Lucas even before we met . I'm not saying what he had wasn't real .. Every moment with you was amazing . I sincerely love you but i know can't do this to you , it's not fair for you to have a girlfriend who's having feelings for someone else . I'm not choosing Lucas over you . I'm not choosing anyone . I don't want to make either one of you a choice because i know its unfair ."

This time i held his hands . He looked dissapointed and i felt terrible inside .

I continued , "I love you Josh .. but i have to get things straight first , there's still a lot more of myself i have to find out . I hope you find someone better than me , someone you really deserve . I want the best for you Josh , i'm sorry i have to do this."

He took a deep breath and stared at me .

"Its ok Maya , at least you're being honest with me . I appreciate that and thank you for the wonderful times you've given me . You showed me what love is and i had the best days with you . I love you Maya but then i guess this is goodbye." He slowly took his hands away from mine and walked out of the store . I sighed . I felt a part of me burnout but i know better than to hurt anyone's feelings .

I decided not to tell Lucas about breaking up with Josh but i did made Riley and Farkle swore not to tell anyone and especially Lucas . So now i've got my own life to fix before i can love somebody and it was harder then i thought it would be .