I love You

After our dance we got in our pajamas and climbed into bed, the nightly health routine already done.

I think it all started when Draco would come into my cell at night to warm me and talk to me. I think that is when I really started to feel safe and calm in his arms. Now here we are sleeping together every night, both finding comfort.

Sometimes I wish my wings were gone so I could curl into him more, spooning as some call it, but that's not possible with bundles of feathers in the way.

.Draco was laying on his back, one hand fiddling with my hair as I laid on his chest. His other hand was resting on top of my arm that was snaked around his waist.

I couldn't see Draco, my head was angled away from his face and even if it wasn't they would be closed from the calming affect his fingers in my hair brought. Plus the room was dark since the lights were out.

We have been like this for a while, him mindlessly playing with my hair and me trying not to fall asleep because if I know Draco as much as I think I do then I could tell he had a lot on his mind.

"Draco." I said tiredly.

"Hm?" He said back.

My arm that was around his waist found his arm and moved down to grab his hand. "What are you thinking about?" I brought his hand to my lips to rest there.

"The cabinet is working." His thumb ran across my cheek.

(Why is he worrying then?....)"Are you thinking of your task or about the Death Eaters?"

Draco took a deep breath. "Both."

(I wish he didn't have to have all this pressure on him... This guilt.)"Dumbledores dying." Draco's hand in my hair stopped and his thumb on my cheek connected back to his hand. "He's cursed, I saw in Snapes memories. Dumbledore maybe has a year at most.... I'm not saying it is alright to kill him... I'm just, hoping you won't feel as bad." I brought his fingers closer to my lips.

Draco's hand that was in my hair moved to my back and relaxed. "Dumbledore is dying..." He said as if he was hoping Dumbledore would stop all of this but now...

I lifted my head and my eyes adjusted enough to see the slight shine of the moonlight in his eyes and the kind of his nose and jaw.

"Draco." I brought my hand to his cheek, his hand that I left came to gently grab my wrist. "Everything will work out. I promise." I felt Draco nod, I smiled and rubbed my thumb across his cheek. "I'm with you no matter what. You mean to much to me."

"... You don't realize how bloody crazy you drive me do you." He brushed my hair behind my ear.

I smiled. "Well, you did drive me mental for many years." Draco huffed a laugh. "I have to get even, Malfoy... Maybe I'll turn you into a ferret."

"I'm not afraid." Draco brushed his hand up and down my waist.

"Why? You going to complain to your father?" Draco stopped, I frowned. "Sorry. I didn't-."

"It's alright... You never could keep your minds thoughts to yourself." He kissed my lips. "But I like that about you."

"Was that a backhanded compliment?" I chuckled softly.

"No. I love the way you never back down, no matter what you stand up to those who deserve it." Draco grabbed my hand and brought it to hips lips. "But you do scare me when you speak like that anyone without a care of who exactly they are."

I laid back down on his chest. "Only to those who deserve it... But don't worry. I'm not an idiot, I know when not to speak like that to someone dangerous."

Draco fiddled with my hair again. "Please be careful. I can't...."

"I understand Draco."

"No... You don't." Draco huffed defeatedly. "The way I was before I met you, compared with how I am now... You make me a better person... I can't even deny it." He cupped my cheek. "With you, my joy is increased. It's like I'm at total peace. I feel stronger and things I thought made me happy mean nothing... I need you."

My brain was on a pause, I didn't know what to think or say. It was like I was replaying his declaration in a different language. As if I was trying to decipher it in my mind while I was also trying to come up with something to say back.

"Solace? Please say-." My verbal speak was failing so I went to physical.

I leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his lips, Draco kissed back softly as his hand cupped my cheek and the other held my waist.

Draco pushed me until I was laying down, my wings spread out with the top half hanging off the edge of the bed.Resting on his left forearm, his left hand connected to my waist while his right hand held my neck softly.

My arms were around his neck and threaded in his hair. One of my legs was bend up next to Draco's side, each time he moved up to place another hungry kiss he rubbed against me.

"Draco." I said between kisses, he stopped. "This is new for me. I don't know what... I."

(I haven't done this before. I never even thought this would be something in my life, ever. It's not that I don't like Draco, I love him and I want only him. Clearly that is the same for him as well. Unless his thoughts are not his own.)

"We don't have to-."

"I'm not saying I don't want this...I love you fully but this is new to me.... And..."(I don't want what you did to those girls. I don't want it for pleasure, I want it for love.)

Draco's thumb brushed against my cheek. "What is it?"

"I love you."

"Solace." Draco's knuckles brushed my cheek. "I'm not going to love you any less if we don't. I'm fine with waiting for when you are ready."

(Draco doesn't think of this in that way. He won't leave or throw me out after. I know he won't. I want this, I want him so much I would run away and abandon everything.He has me wrapped around his finger and I have him wrapped round mine. We make each other vulnerable. We have trapped each other.)

"Tell me I didn't ruin this." Draco let go of my waist and moved away. He turned on his nightstand light and looked at me with pleading eyes that opened up his fearful thoughts to me. "I shouldn't have." He fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist.

"Draco..." I sat up on my forearms.

My eyes were drawn to the prominent arousal in his pants, Draco crossed his arms to block it, I looked back up at his embarrassed face and thoughts.

(How would anyone ever think Draco Malfoy, the tyrant, is actually a cute and sweet man. He's so kind and caring, I love him for him no matter what flaws he has.)

"I'm having trouble with words for this situation." I smiled softly, Draco relaxed. "I want to be with you forever if that is also what you wish." Draco's thoughts went wild with joy, I smiled. "Im glad you like that thought."

Draco looked down to hide from my skills. "But you wish to wait..."

I sat up and moved closer to him, he looked up at me. "I don't want this to be as I've seen.." I grabbed his hands. "I don't want you to discard me after, I don't want to be used-."

"Why would you think I'd ever do that to you?" Draco scowled sadly. "Is that what you think of me?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I just... The memories I've seen." Draco stilled, even his breath stopped. "I know they aren't the same as me but-."

"I would never use you in that way." Dracos voice sounded as if the thought disgusted him as well. "Solace. I love you so much I would never treat you in such a way and if you wished to wait then I will."

(I know you can...)I smiled softly and kissed him. "I know." Draco's head lifted. "I'm just nervous. You're the only one I've ever dated. I don't know how to do more then what we have been."

Draco held my hand. "I understand." He kissed my knuckles.

I smiled. "Thank you." Draco smiled softly.

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