The List, pt. 3

The second weekend of November was guaranteed to be eventful. On Sunday there was the first trip to Hogsmeade and the first Quidditch match of the year. Harry and Lily had also arranged to go to Hogsmeade together to catch up—they hadn’t really talked since Severus called her a Mudblood. Harry didn’t tell Severus they were meeting because he didn’t want him to listen in. Raven, however, knew and took Severus to the other side of the town.

Harry listened to Lily’s stories, which were all of the you-had-to-be-there type. They had less to talk about since they didn’t have the same best friends. Harry was careful not to bring up Severus until the right time. 

“So, how’s everyone doing?” Was she wondering about Severus, or truly everyone? 

“Raven’s good. I think…she misses having you around. And Severus is, well, he’s never really good. But the Slytherins stopped harassing him.” 

Lily chewed her lip, then took a long drink of her butterbeer. When the mug was nearly empty, she asked, “So you think he’s really turned around?” 

“It seems that way. Look, I don’t want to talk about it if you’re not comfortable…” 

Lily shook her head. “No, it’s not that, I’m fine. Do you think I’m just not talking to him because I’m stubborn? On second thought, don’t answer that. Listen, I do care what happens to him. But I don’t think we can be friends. He may have left them for now, but there’s a reason he was in the Dark Arts. There’s a reason he called me a Mudblood. That part will stay with him, no matter how you help him, how much he seems to have changed.” 

Harry pressed his lips together and shook his head.

Lily sighed. “Oh, that came out harsher than it sounded in my head. The main thing is, something happened even before that day, and we didn’t get along, and I don’t think things will go back to how they were. Sorry, I don’t think I can talk about it anymore.”

“That’s okay.”

“But you know where I’m coming from?” 

“Sure.”

Lily took another sip of butterbeer, then nearly choked on it. Harry followed her gaze, turning to see. She was staring over his shoulder at the Marauders in the back of the room. Peter spotted her and, despite her hand-motioned threats against it, prodded James, pointing in her direction. James forced Peter’s chubby finger down, chastised him, then, after only a brief glance at Lily, returned to the large piece of parchment the four were working on. 

Lily sat back in shock. “Wow. That was odd.” 

“Yeah, it was.” When had James decided to change his tactics? 

Harry and Lily got up to leave just as the Marauders were on their way out. James lagged behind to hold the door open for them. 

They both thanked him.

“See you, Evans,” James said, then jogged over to the other Marauders.

“Now that was really odd,” Lily murmured, gazing after him. 

In late November, the Marauders organized a night ride on the Black Lake for all of the Gryffindors who were in fourth year and up. They organized a fleet of boats, using the ones first years rode each year on their first visit to Hogwarts.

Harry convinced Severus to go along, since he’d be the only one not going, and it would make a good impression on Lily if he went. 

The Black Lake was flat, a deeper black than the clear sky above them. 

The light on each boat turned on when it started moving, so the Marauders put up several protective shields to make the students invisible from the shore.

Each of the groups within the fourth year Gryffindors had their own boat: the four girls, the Marauders, and Raven, Harry, and Severus. 

The stars shone, and the moon was only a few days away from being full. Everyone was silent, taking in the sights. James was watching Lily, whose face was illuminated with awe.

Cutting through the still of the night was the sound of rushing water. Everyone turned to see a ten meter wave rising toward the group.

“FLUITO!” Remus’ shout echoed through the night. No one beyond the lake would’ve heard it. There were more shouts from the Marauders of the same spell, unheard over the roar of the water and the screams of the students, some of whom dove into the water. 

Severus took out his wand and pointed toward the heart of the wave. “Lux Fluctus!” 

The wave, now curling over their heads, dissolved into snowflakes. Snow fell down over the students, who turned to stare at Severus. The ones who’d jumped into the water poked their heads over the surface and were helped back into the boats. 

Everyone clapped, impressed but cold, scared, and unsure of whether or not the wave was planned. Lily might’ve looked at Severus, but the falling snow shrouded her face. 

James, balancing carefully, stood up. “Is everyone okay? Please raise a hand if you’re missing a person or need help.” No one signaled. 

Severus scanned the shore in the direction the wave had come from. “The Slytherins did that. They taught me that spell.” 

Raven followed his gaze. “How did they find out? It’s not as if they have an inside source anymore.” 

Harry realized that Severus had now opposed the Slytherins, which they might consider as fighting back. “Does that mean you’re a ‘two’ now?” 

James and Sirius drifted closer, and before Severus could reply Sirius said, “What’s that about the Slytherins?” 

Severus chilled his tone. “They made that wave.” 

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “Why are you selling them out?” 

“I don’t have anything to do with them anymore.” 

Sirius scoffed. “Really. How do we know that it wasn’t just an act? That you didn’t set that up so you could play the hero?” 

Severus’ lip curled. “I don’t have to explain myself, Black. And if anyone knows about an act, it’s you.” 

James leaned in and whispered to Sirius. After a tremendous amount of effort, Sirius said, “Thanks then, I suppose.” He guided the boat over to Lily and the girls. James then took off the blanket he was wrapped in. Every boat had one, and each was charmed to release heat. Lily and Aluria had let Cheresse and Florence use theirs. 

James gripped the rim of their boat, pulling the sides together. The girls thanked James as he handed the blanket to them. 

“No problem,” he replied, eyes on Lily, who sighed with the rush of warmth from the blanket. Color flushed in her cheeks, unrelated to the temperature change, and she told Aluria to steer the boat away. 

“Okay, everyone, we’re gonna head back. There’s butterbeer waiting in the common room!”

Up in the Gryffindor Tower, Harry approached James. “Are you gonna tell them who did the wave thing?” 

James regarded him. They never talked outside of Quidditch, and even then it was all about the sport. “I thought I would act like nothing happened to piss the Slytherins off.” 

“Actually, can you tell the Slytherins you were the one who did the countercurse? Severus said they found it in a book they bought called Untraceable Dark Magic: Avoid Blame and Cause ‘Accidents,’ so tell them you read it, and tell the Gryffindors that now you’re the person they saw do the spell.”

James raised an eyebrow and took a sip of butterbeer. “Why should I?”

“Because if you don’t, they’ll kill Severus after he leaves Hogwarts.” 

“That’s a little harsh.”

“Of course it is, they’re working for Vol—You-Know-Who, aren’t they? Severus was probably the best of them, and he turned against them. I think the wave was a test. To see which side he was on.” 

James nodded, then sighed. “What will you do for me?” 

“I can give you advice with Lily again. I know what she doesn’t like, and I have an idea of what she does. I know she’d think it was mature of you if you told everyone what they should think really happened and why.” 

At first, James looked as though he’d continue to haggle. Then, he gave in. “Fine.” He stood up on a table and waited for everyone to quiet down. “I know everyone is wondering what happened on the lake. The Slytherins—” 

There were angry murmurs, and everyone accepted this right away. Severus met Harry’s glance, skeptical. 

“The Slytherins made the wave. Sniv—er, Severus knew the countercurse, but if the Slytherins find out it was him, they’ll kill him as soon as he’s out of school. So if anyone asks, or even if they don’t ask, tell them I knew the countercurse and that I got rid of the wave.” 

The Gryffindors nodded, not very enthusiastic. To them, Severus seemed to have chosen Slytherin House, and they interpreted his return as weak and only temporary. Still, they respected James and were united in the effort against the Dark Arts. Or, as prejudice led them, against the Slytherins. 

Before Harry fulfilled his end of the deal, James went to get more butterbeer. Lily, holding her mug, turned around and found herself facing him. 

“Oh, hi. What you did back there, I’m surprised. It was very kind.” Without returning his grin, she nodded once and walked away.

James watched her make her way through the crowd, then returned to Harry. “Okay, your advice is my command.” 

The Marauders, Raven, and Harry took turns staying with Remus for the full moon. On the 29th of November, it was Raven’s turn. They smuggled food out of the Great Hall to eat on their way to the grounds. 

That night, Severus’ yell woke up the dorm. James and Harry sat up in their beds, wands out. Peter and Sirius were slow to respond other than by swearing. 

With the others watching from their beds, Severus illuminated his wand and pulled back his sleeve. Harry checked the time (it was three in the morning), then got up and crossed to Severus. 

The Roman numeral “II” branded gradually into Severus’ skin. The Slytherins must not’ve believed that James had known the countercurse. 

“A two.” Harry looked to James, who had an unusual expression of worry, then genuine anger. 

“I swear I told them about the book.” 

Harry glanced at Severus, who was too tired to give an opinion. “Okay, I believe you.” Harry had barely fallen asleep when he was being shaken awake. Harry checked his watch by instinct; it was ten after three. 

“Jacob.” It was a girl—Raven.

Harry put on his glasses. “What’s wrong?” He could tell that she was shaking. 

Raven led him down to the common room. In the light of the candles, Harry could see she was pressing a blood-stained hand towel on her arm. “I left Remus by himself.” 

Harry drew his attention away from her arm. “Why? What happened? Did he—?” 

“No, he just scratched me. Can you heal it?” 

Harry checked the pocket of his pajamas. “Hold on, let me get my purse.” Raven smiled a bit at that, but she was wiping away tears when Harry came back down. “I don’t want to get Dumbledore involved, that’s why I didn’t go to Madam Pomfrey…” 

Harry squeezed her hand briefly. “It’s alright.” He opened the purse and pointed his wand into it. “Accio Dittany.” He caught the bottle as it whizzed toward him. “Okay, take off the towel and roll up your sleeve.” 

Raven obliged, clenching her teeth as she reopened the wound.

“Vulnera Sanentur.” The blood stopped flowing. “Vulnera Sanentur.” The wounds closed up. “Vulnera Sanentur.” Harry couldn’t see if it had healed completely, so he cleaned it. “Tergeo.”

“Will they go away?” They studied the remainder of the injury where scars had begun to form. 

“This should help.” Harry applied the Essence of Dittany to her arm. Nothing happened. 

She took a deep breath. “The scars are permanent, aren’t they? Otherwise Remus wouldn’t have so many.” 

“Yeah, I think I remember learning that. How did he scratch you, anyway?” 

Raven performed a series of spells to make the stain in her sleeve mostly invisible. “I fell asleep. He did the same after me, and he sort of—well, he curled around me and when I realized that, I was mostly stuck. He started to have nightmares in his sleep, and was growling and…I didn’t feel safe with him that close. I accidentally transformed while moving away. I suppose I could’ve transformed back into a wolf, but I—I panicked. He got my arm before I escaped.” 

She studied her arm, thinking. “I should go back. He’s going to hurt himself without someone there. Except—I’m too scared.” She blinked rapidly and rolled her eyes. “I shouldn’t be scared, he’s my friend, and in animal form, we look almost the same.” 

“It’s okay. He’ll understand.” 

“No, he won’t. He’ll either hate me or himself. So, I suppose I’ll wait for him to come in the morning. I won’t be able to sleep anyway.” She put her black robes aside and curled on the couch, still in her uniform. 

“Goodnight,” Harry said, now wide awake. 

“Goodnight. And…thank you,” she replied.

Harry couldn’t properly go back to sleep. He woke up at least once every hour before he decided, at seven, to get up. Remus wasn’t in the dorm.

After getting dressed and gathering his things, Harry went downstairs. He found Remus and Raven sitting on the couch, both in full school uniform. 

Raven was pulling down the sleeve over her injured arm, insisting that it wasn’t a big deal. 

Harry waited awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs, unsure of when to step in.

“It’s not your fault. I transformed back into a human. You would’ve done it to anyone.” 

“That doesn’t change the fact that I did it to you. First, it was almost Severus, and now…” 

“If it has to be somebody’s fault, it’s mine, because you ended up worse than me.” Her eyes were the new scratch across his neck.

“I’m used to having scars. Those—yours won’t ever go away.”

Raven reached for his hand. “It’s not the worst thing in the world.” 

He pulled away. “I don’t think you should help again. James, Sirius, and Peter can handle my transformations.” 

Raven repositioned herself to sit cross-legged across from him. “Remus, I know you want to keep me safe. But what if I want to keep you safe?” 

Harry cleared his throat and came into the common room. They both started.

“Oh, hello, Jacob.” 

Harry studied Remus. Most of the scars must’ve been hidden underneath his clothes. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine.” Remus’ eyes were slow and weary. 

Raven tried to smile. “We’re both fine.” 

Following their conversation that morning, it would be a while before Raven and Remus spoke to each other again.