⭑ 31:

✁┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

⭑ hatred.

Pure hatred is what their faces reflected. His eyes went wide open as he watched them. Pupils dilating, chest rising and breath hitching, he couldn't decipher what he was feeling it was something beyond the normal level of the emotions he usually felt. Fear is what he felt. Fear is what travelled to every part of his body, every bit of skin and every corner and inch of whatever was present inside him.

"Fucking hell!"Goosebumps rose on his skin, his hands rubbed against his arms trying to stop them.

"I always thought something was wrong, you just never believed me Handong! You see him now?"

He took a few steps back tripping a little but he wanted to get out of here as fast as he could. What was going on? Why was all this happening to him? Help.

"A fucking faggot living in this family!" Tears started brimming out of his precious eyes. He brought his tried to make them stop by quickly wiping them off with the thick sleeves of his light blue hoodie. They didn't stop. They kept falling down. Drop. Drop. Drop. He looked down at his hands and watched them tremble through his eyes that were already blurry from all the tears filling up. It felt like someone had turned on the tap in his tear ducts allowing the salty water to flow into his eyes and run down his face.

"Only if we knew this earlier you were going to turn out to be a boy liker  I would've put you up for adoption you fucking disgrace!"

"My god, what did I do in my past life to deserve this child!? Forgive me. I've brought a disgrace into this family. Shame on us!"

"No Handong, shame on him!"

Although he had never been shot before the words went directly through his heart like bullets. They felt like shattered pieces of glass slicing his heart. They felt like everything bad. They made it bleed invisible blood and pained him to the point that he felt like dying. He wanted to die. The man with a mix of gray and white hair poked his cheek with his tongue from inside, hands rubbing and scratching his beard. His eyes travelled around the room as he continued his absent minded actions before letting out a rough chuckle.

"...kill you! I'm going to kill you if you don't get out of this house you fucker!"

The fear that previously pumped through his body got extended to its 4x version of that was even possible. He wanted to look away, he wanted to leave and never come back but something strong held his head straight making him look, it gripped his neck slowly strangling it making his breath shorten, it held his feet not letting him move. Invisible forces. They held him on spot. These people were his family. How could he just leave them? The voices told him to stay, to not move, to wait and wait.

"Why don't you get it!?"  The man's voice became louder than before, rage and heat radiated through his face.

"We don't want you anymore you shameless thing! You fucking disgrace"  Hearing the feminine voice felt even more heartbreaking. The high-pitched voice rang through his ears making him feel like they were going to start bleeding anytime soon.

Within a span of few seconds he felt his right cheek stung. It stung so bad. Blood. He felt it and he saw it when he put his hand against his cheek. Horror spread across his face as watched the face of his own father start beating him. The way he punched him, the way he held his hair and pulled it, the way he screamed with his roaring in his ears.

"Don't. P...please d..don't. I beg you!" He sobbed.The words got stuck in his throat though, the invisible force around his throat tightened making him choke.

He watched himself almost greet the darkness. He couldn't handle it anymore. His eyes felt heavy and blurry than ever. His tear ducts kept producing salty water making it look like he was crying a river. His heart beating so fast he felt like he would have a heart attack anytime soon. Metallic blood dripped down from his petite nose, mouth and forehead.

The darkness slowly started to welcome him, it engulfed him like a soft hug but the pain was still there, too much for his body to bear but he couldn't tell what it was anymore.

.

"Don't. P..please d..don't. I beg you!"

His screams freaked the hell out of Seonghwa giving him a mini heart attack. The male quickly sat up on his bed and turned on the lamp sitting on the night stand beside his bed. Concern painted itself on his face and he looked at the younger's state. Hongjoong was sweating like insane regardless of the cooling in their room. Even with his eyes closed the fear and discomfort on his face was very visible and the way he was trembling really worried the older.

"Hongjoong wake up baby" he touched the younger's shoulder which made him scream louder.

Oh fuck.

"Hongjoong!" Seonghwa slightly yelled and moved the boy's arm to and fro which obviously didn't feel right but he felt genuinely confused on what else he should be doing instead of this. No matter how bad the way thankfully Hongjoong opened his eyes with one last scream. Tears streamed down his face and his breathing got even more faster than before. It took him a few seconds to realise the person who sat beside him.

"S-Seonghwa" he slowly sat up bringing his knees against his chest and hid his head sobbing even louder than before.

"What happened baby? Did you have a nightmare?" Seonghwa gulped and took a deep breath before slowly and gently moving his arms around the smaller's body and bring him closer to himself. This caused Hongjoong to change his position a little and he started crying into the older's chest.

"It's okay shh I've got you" his voice showed the hurt in it because of how upset he felt for Hongjoong. The younger's state made him feel so worried. The way his body was trembling and how he was having a hard time breathing due to all his crying made him feel horrible because he cared too much to see him in a state like this.

"I'm here, you can cry to me baby it's all good" He continued to tell the male sweet and gentle words trying his absolute best to make him feel supported and loved. This was something a bit difficult to Seonghwa and he wasn't sure about how to handle such situations. He was never good with them even when they were kids since Hongjoong used to cry often because he got bullied, Yunho would be the one comforting him while Seonghwa could only scare away his bullies and plot revenge against them making them regret their actions.

After a few minutes of what felt like an actual scary movie to Seonghwa, the smaller's cries finally stopped and his breathing was also a bit better than before although he continued to tremble in his arms.  He tightened his arms around him but not it was all gentle, nothing to make hurt to him. Deep inside his heart he kept praying his words and actions were actually helping the male he adored so much. "Do you feel better hmm?" He asked in a sweet voice rubbing his hand lightly  against the other's shoulder. Hongjoong wanted to answer but his voice wouldn't budge. He sighed and just nodded slightly making the older finally smile in relief. The male suddenly sat up from his arms and looked at him closely making Seonghwa tilt his head in confusion. He cleared his throat and bit his bottom lip contemplating whether to tell the older what all this was and how.

"I..erm n..nightmare" he spoke, his voice sounding a bit weak from all the crying. Seonghwa could only nod as he waited for him to continue and held his hand in his own, massaging it a lightly to make him feel more relaxed.

"It w..was the from when I...I t..told my uhm f..family about m...me b..being..."

Hongjoong wanted to complete his sentence but for some reason he couldn't. He felt like hot tears wpuld start brimming out of his eyes again if he did.

"About you being gay isn't it?" Seonghwa asked a soft voice and he nodded biting his lower lip to stop himself from crying again. The older sighed and brought his hands to cup the younger's face and stared at him for a few seconds before pulling him for a hug.

"I remember. I remember that day so well Joong. When you didn't show up to school for two week. It scared both, Yunho and I so fucking much." Seonghwa's slim fingers played with the younger's silky hair as he spoke while the younger just stayed still, breathing on his broad shoulder with arms wrapped around his  body.

"When we went to check up on you at your house...your parents they erm immediately shut the door on us. It wasn't after another week we finally got a text from Bumjoong hyung that you moved out with him. I felt so relieved that day Joongie." He shakily exhaled completing his sentence as the memories from that time filled his mind.

"I wish I n..never came out to th..them" Seonghwa furrowed his eyebrows as Hongjoong spoke again but he didn't say anything to let him complete.

"M...maybe Hyung would still be talking to them. Maybe we'd s..still be a... a f..family."

Tears started to drip down his face again and wet the older's bare shoulders. He felt a bit infuriated by how his tears just wouldn't give him a rest deep inside but he couldn't control them. Seonghwa tensed up as he felt the warm tears fall on his body but then relaxed. The smaller's words completely broke his heart. He didn't deserve this at all. A sweet soul like Hongjoong's didn't deserve them at all.

"Hey don't say that baby. It's not your fault okay? You just like what you like and that's completely fine. Besides after all they've done to you, they don't even deserved to be talked about with so much love by you. You have so much love in this heart of yours Joongie. It's so clean and beautiful."

"Thanks Seongie" the nickname sent electric waves across Seonghwa's body. A new nickname. Wow. He quickly pulled apart from the hug and gave the younger the biggest smile ever.

"Oh my gosh why are you smiling like that?" Hongjoong giggled wiping his tears as he stared at the older's state. Seonghwa's smile looked so goofy and his eyes sparkled with joy. This look sent a lang i to the smaller's heart but he'd never admit it.

"Call me that again please" he held both of Hongjoong's hands and brought them against his chest still smiling.

"Seongie" Hongjoong giggled as he called him the same nickname again and freed his hands to pinch Seonghwa's cheeks.

Seonghwa laughed as he repeated the nickname in his head and let Hongjoong just pinch him like that.

"Seongie. I like this nickname. Oh my god I love it! I love you!" Oh fuck.

✁┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈