Lesson

(A/N: the angst is here!!! Or it already has in the prev chaps? 😂😂😂 anyways, the 'quotes' are now here too 😂😂😂😂 btw I remember each chap is 5-(short) paged long in MS Word, longer than usual so this takes me longer than I usually update. Hehehehe.)

"Why is it that when you love you have to be hurt?" Wei Wuxian asked. "Why should you undergo pain when you love? Don't we love because we want to be happy? Then why would there be pain? So that we could feel the meaning of love?" he asked. "Then, it's the meaning of pain we will learn, not love. When you love, just love. Not that you have to hurt others – especially the one you love. You like to hurt them to know they love you? Then, you're the one who doesn't truly love them." He said. "You like to hurt them, not love them. Why should you make them suffer? And you, don't you suffer when you see them in pain? Then you don't love them." He finished.

They are both in the pavilion by the lake. The morning Jiang Cheng woke up, he saw Lan Xichen was gone. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji was sleeping on Wei Wuxian's room and immediately went to Jiang Cheng when they heard him cry. They knew something must have happened again – and they really are right. Jiang Cheng was filled with hickeys, yet the one who left the hickeys on Jiang Cheng is gone. Lan Wangji immediately set off to Cloud Recesses to look for Lan Xichen.

"Are you done?" Jiang Cheng asked.

"... yes." Wei Wuxian answered.

"... do you have a problem?"

"None."

"Then why did you say it?" Jiang Cheng asked.

Wei Wuxian paused. "... I just felt like it." He just answered and looked away.

A vein popped on Jiang Cheng's forehead. He chose not to fight with him since he's tired – physically, mentally and emotionally. Silence fell between them and they watch the boats afar circling on the lake. After a while they saw two figures in white in the sky coming their way.

Wei Wuxian's face went dark. Jiang Cheng just held his shoulder. Wei Wuxian turned to him and was about to speak, mad, when he saw Jiang Cheng's expression. Pain, sadness is painted on his face. However, those were not the most painful – it's acceptance. Jiang Cheng had long accepted Lan Xichen will never love him back. Wei Wuxian balled his fists and looked at Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen approaching them. Jiang Cheng's grip on his shoulder tightened. Wei Wuxian took a deep breath then smiled, pissed. He laughed out of helplessness. "You really - !" he said, his eyes narrowed as he stood up and went to Lan Wangji to greet his husband when the Twin Jades landed on the plank.

Jiang Cheng sighed. "All of us doesn't want to be hurt. But, there're just things that is hard to avoid - to be hurt. You or them, whoever the reason... whatever the reason... love has no fault - it's the people who love." He muttered as he closed his eyes.

"... do you have a problem?" Lan Xichen asked when he saw Jiang Cheng's peaceful expression.

Jiang Cheng opened his eyes. "None." He answered, his eyes on the floating lotus flowers.

"Then why did you say it?" Lan Xichen quietly asked.

Jiang Cheng smiled. "I just don't want to be hurt." He said.

Lan Xichen's face became serious. "But what if I hurt you unintentionally?" he asked.

"... then - " Jiang Cheng said. "- I'll blame you." He answered.

Hurt passed Lan Xichen's eyes, yet Jiang Cheng didn't see it since Jiang Cheng isn't looking at him. "... will you leave me?" he asked.

"No."

"Why?"

"... because I love you." Jiang Cheng answered.

"I hurt you." Lan Xichen said. I might hurt you, Wanyin... he thought, remembered what happened in the Cloud Recesses earlier.

"Pain goes with love." Jiang Cheng said.

Lan Xichen's eyes narrowed. "Do we have to be hurt when we love?" He asked and balled his fists, mad.

"... only us ourselves can answer that." Jiang Cheng answered as he closed his eyes.

Lan Xichen stared at him, feeling himself calmed down. That peaceful expression... he thought. As if he already have his answer... Wanyin... do you plan to leave me if ever I'd hurt you? He felt his heart was stabbed. "I won't hurt you." He told him, determined. I'll never hurt you. Never. Not only because you will leave. But, I also don't want you to experience pain. Wanyin... I love you. He thought as he lowered his head.

"Because I said I don't want to be hurt?" Jiang Cheng asked.

"No." Lan Xichen answered.

"Then, why?"

"Because I love you." Lan Xichen answered and looked at his face.

"What if I hurt you?" Jiang Cheng asked.

Lan Xichen smiled. It's fine, Wanyin. He thought. "I'll still love you." he answered. I will love you no matter what. He raised his hand to reach him.

I love you, too. Jiang Cheng thought. He just smiled, then turned to Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen's hand touched his cheeks. They stared at each other for a while before their lips met. So sweet... Jiang Cheng thought as he kissed him back. Lan Xichen... he raised his hand and touched Lan Xichen's cheek. It's wet – the same as his cheek when he felt Lan Xichen wiped his tears he didn't know that's already falling from his eyes. Why do we hurt each other like this? He thought. Lan Xichen bumped his forehead on his forehead as they catch their breath after their kiss. They are both crying – for what reason, they know yet also don't. Each of them hides their pain yet also it's shown. As long as this relationship continues, we will also continue to be hurt. However, we will also continue to love each other. Even if this is fake, at the least I know my feels towards you is real. Jiang Cheng thought and laughed as he lowered his head.

Lan Xichen stared at him, then smiled. As long as this relationship exists, I can have you. I'll never let go of you, nor let you leave me. Even if this relationship started as fake, my feelings towards you are all real. Wanyin... he thought as he hugged him and kissed his temple. I love you. So much I feel like dying. I wish, you could feel it. All my love is all my love and I offer them all to you. Even if you'd just break it, as long as you will not leave me I won't lose you. I fell for you, and then I feared you because I learned I can't live without you. That is why, Wanyin... Don't leave me, or else I'll die. He thought and hugged him tight.

The water rippled, then became calm again.

Night.

Wei Wuxian frowned when he saw Lan Xichen flew on Shuoye. "Seriously, what is happening?" He muttered and looked at his husband.

Lan Wangji, however, didn't answer and just looked at him. He glanced at Jiang Cheng's door where Lan Xichen went out earlier. Then, he turned to his wife again. "Wei Ying..." he called his wife. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words come out. He closed them again. "Wei Ying." He called again.

Wei Wuxian's forehead knotted as he stared at his husband. I wish I have Zewu-jun's mind reading ability. He thought. "... you can't tell me?" he asked. Lan Wangji nodded. Wei Wuxian sighed, then looked at Jiang Cheng's door. When they heard it's quiet, they knew Jiang Cheng must already be sleeping. That is why Lan Xichen secretly went out and left.

Wei Wuxian wonders, if Lan Xichen is so busy at his sect then why bother going here in Yunmeng? Surely Jiang Cheng would understand of Lan Xichen's duties since he's also a sect leader. Then, why is he still coming in Yunmeng? Because of his relationship with Jiang Cheng? But, their relationship isn't known yet also isn't a secret. However, it's just for convenience. Lan Xichen knew that himself, since he's the one who suggested of this relationship by 'confessing' to Jiang Cheng. So... why act like a devoted lover? Wei Wuxian thought, then stopped. Ah. Right. Being a devoted lover is one of Lan Xichen's regrets towards Jin Guangyao. He thought and smirked, irritated. He balled his fists in anger. Just how long does Zewu-jun wanted to be tied by that Jin Guangyao? He thought.

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji called. Wei Wuxian looked at him. "I don't know when I'll be back." He told him.

Wei Wuxian's forehead knotted. "Why? Your sect encountered a problem again?" he asked, remembered the fierce corpse last time.

Since it's really a problem and Wei Wuxian didn't specify what problem was it, and so Lan Wangji nodded. "Mn." He said as he kissed him. "I'll be back." He said and kissed his forehead before he flew away.

Wei Wuxian watched Lan Wangji left until his figure disappeared in the sky. Before, like Jiang Cheng, he hates to see someone leaving and so he'd distract himself not to see them until they finally left. However, now... he has used to watch Lan Wangji leave. Because he knew, Lan Wangji will always come back to him.

The door opened and Jiang Cheng leaned on the doorframe, a white cloth covering his shoulder. It's Lan Xichen's robe. That's why Wei Wuxian noticed earlier something is missing in Lan Xichen. It was Lan Xichen's outer robe. "It's really bad to watch them leave, worse is that they'll never be back." Jiang Cheng said, staring at the night sky. "However... it's the worst to see them back, but know that it's not you they're going back for..." he said, his voice broke at the end. His tears fell and he immediately wiped it. However, his tears won't stop falling.

Wei Wuxian hung his head and silently let Jiang Cheng cry. Even if he'd comfort him, he knew the comfort Jiang Cheng now needs isn't his.

Morning.

Wei Wuxian sighed when Jin Ling frowned at him. He put his hands on his waist and frowned back at the youth. "If that villager didn't find you and Sizhui and Jingyi, who knows when will you be found?" he asked. "Jiang Cheng and I thought you're just at Lanling, gloating that you've caught a fierce corpse and just forgot to tell us." He said. "Turned out, you three were lost in the mountain – and for how many days!" he exclaimed.

Jin Ling's frown went deeper. "I'll never gloat! Also, I wouldn't forget my uncle!" he said, then quickly glanced at Jiang Cheng who's working with papers. He fell silent. His head hung low and his shoulder fell.

Wei Wuxian smiled. He knows Jin Ling wanted to prove himself the most to Jiang Cheng. That's why the youth worked hard to find a good catch of a corpse. However, they ended up lost in the mountain and never caught one. "Ah Ling." He called and tapped Jin Ling's shoulder. The youth looked at him. He smiled, then grabbed Jin Ling's other shoulder. He pulled him up, then turned him – and pushed him towards Jiang Cheng.

"WAAAAH!!!" Jin Ling exclaimed as he fell in front of the desk of Jiang Cheng. His face turned red and pale alternately. "Uncle..." he finally spoke, his voice shaking. He immediately sat straight when Jiang Cheng finally stopped signing the papers.

Jiang Cheng raised his head and looked at the youth across him. For a moment, he saw his sister's image flashed – overlapping Jin Ling's figure. "Have you eaten?" he asked.

"... huh?" Jin Ling said and looked at his uncle.

Jiang Cheng's brows knit and Jin Ling gasped, immediately lowered his head. "N-not yet – " he answered. He had gone straight here when he arrived at the Lotus Pier while Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi immediately flew to the Gusu. As for Wen Ning, he must have found the villager knowing the three with him is bad looking for people – but adept in looking for corpses. How ironic.

"Then why you still haven't eaten?" Jiang Cheng asked, frowning. "Go and eat first." He told him.

"H-how about you, uncle -?" Jin Ling asked.

"I'll follow." Jiang Cheng answered.

Jin Ling's shoulders finally relaxed and his face lit up. "Yes!" he answered and immediately ran outside.

For a moment, the two that were left froze. They saw their sister's smile in the youth. After all, the youth is their sister's only son – only child.

Wei Wuxian sighed and smiled as he walked towards Jiang Cheng. "You've already eaten earlier. You're still eating again?" he asked as he sat across Jiang Cheng.

"None of your business." Jiang Cheng said as he resumed signing the papers.

"Moody, a big eater... aia! Are you pregna – whoa!" Wei Wuxian said and laughed after he dodged Jiang Cheng's fist. He smiled when he saw Jiang Cheng is frowning. "You're fine now?" he asked.

"Let me hit you just once and I'll be fine." Jiang Cheng said, cracking his fist.

"I thought you need a hundred – " Wei Wuxian said.

"No. I meant once like a million times – " Jiang Cheng said. They looked at each other then laughed.

"... any news from your husband?" Jiang Cheng asked after a while.

The smile on Wei Wuxian's disappeared. "... nothing." He answered, his face dark. His finger played with the corner of the paper. "Why would you love if you'll only be hurt?" he asked. He knows Jiang Cheng just wants to hear anything about Lan Xichen. It's been days since the Twin Jades has left.

Jiang Cheng fell silent. "... because you know the pain is worth it for the love in exchange." He answered.

"What if he won't love you? What if he'll just continue to hurt you?" Wei Wuxian asked.

"I'll still love him." Jiang Cheng answered, remembered what he and Lan Xichen talked about last time.

"Why?" Wei Wuxian asked.

"So he'll see and know that I love him." Jiang Cheng answered.

"What if he's blind? What if he's numb?" Wei Wuxian asked, mad. He knows Lan Xichen is both – blind and numb. He can't see Jiang Cheng is in love with him!

Jiang Cheng paused "... I'll still love him." He answered and lowered his head.

"... why?" Wei Wuxian asked, his voice tired. He had enough of this. He had enough of his brother being hurt.

This time, Jiang Cheng smiled. "Because I know I am sure of him." He answered. "I know he's the only one I'll love. Even if he won't love me back, as long as he's happy... I'm satisfied." He said.

Wei Wuxian's eyes narrowed as he balled his fists. "... just why one should return to the past? It's already passed." He said, frustrated.

Jiang Cheng stared at him, then smiled. "... there are just things hard to let go of –especially the things that cannot be replaced." He answered. Like you. He thought as he looked at Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji and he waited for Wei Wuxian to come back, and their long wait was worth it. He got his brother back while Lan Wangji got his love back.

"... what if the one he loves is already gone, and you are there that loves him?" Wei Wuxian asked "What if... he'd continue to hold on instead of choosing you?" He asked.

However, no use asking since both of them already knew the answer.

"... I'll wait for him... until he loves me." Jiang Cheng answered.

"What if - " Wei Wuxian said, then paused. ... your time ran out, and he still doesn't love you? He thought as he lowered his head.

Jiang Cheng smiled, already knew what his brother meant. "... I'll still love him... until my next life, and next lives." he answered.

"... what if... there's really nothing?" Wei Wuxian asked, pain in his voice. He's hurting for his brother.

Jiang Cheng drew a sharp breath, the pain in his heart is becoming heavier. "... I'll still wait." He answered. "With pain... patience is also love. If he really wouldn't love me..." he said. .. I'll still continue to wait... "He's the one I loved, the one I love and the one I will only love." he said as he held his chest.

"Just why is he the one you chose?" Wei Wuxian asked. There are still many others out there. Also, there're women. Why should it be Lan Xichen?

Jiang Cheng bitterly smiled. "... love doesn't choose. Acquainted, or will still be acquainted... even if he's nice and helped you... or easily gets mad and acts like he doesn't care... there are millions of reasons to hate him. But you'll only see one to love him - that one moment when you see your future with him." He answered. He knew, he must have already fallen in love with Lan Xichen in the past. Only that, he ignored it. However, his heart was already captivated.

"However..." Wei Wuxian said. ... you two won't end up with each other... even if you two are in a relationship now, but the feelings...

It's only one-sided. Because I'm the only one who saw that future. Jiang Cheng thought.

Jin Ling who's outside silently listened, holding his tears back not to cry. He was about to deliver Jiang Cheng his food for them to eat together when he heard him and Wei Wuxian talked. Just basing from their conversation, Jin Ling knew. The man they are talking about... the man his uncle bas fallen in love – it's the man together with another one now walking this way. He immediately turned and ran to the other side.

(A/N: to be continued! Will the next chap be the last?)