Attention

Jiang Cheng mentally grimaced when he saw his disciples are looking away from him and gets themselves busier. His forehead knotted, but he's fine with it since they'll just get better with their training. However, he stopped when he saw that one of them, for a brief moment, his eyes swept past his neck and immediately looked away after a second. Supposedly, he should instinctively hold his neck. However, for a split second he remembered what's on his neck – a bite Lan Xichen gave him earlier. He could feel his face is reddening. He walked faster.

"Oh my god. Our sect leader finally has a lover – "

"Yes, ah! I'm so happy for sect leader – " he heard them whispered to each other. Just like that and the whole Lotus Pier knew that he has a lover. The news traveled faster than Wei Wuxian run away from the sight of a dog.

Remembering his brother, he stopped. He just reached the pavilion by the lake. He pulled his robe to hide the bite, but to no avail. His face went red again and sighed. He'll just explain to Wei Wuxian later when he sees him. For now... he thought and turned when snow-white robes flashed before him. Lan Xichen appeared in front of him, smiling brightly, mounting his sword Shuoye. Earlier, after Lan Xichen fixed his hair Lan Xichen excused himself and told him he'd be going to the Cloud Recesses. He just gave him a nod. He thought the guy would immediately leave so he turned to leave, too. For some reason, the sight of the back of Lan Xichen... it makes his heart hurt.

However, he didn't expect that the man would pull him back, turned him to face him and kissed him. He felt his face immediately burned and his eyes went wide. He felt his head blew up when Lan Xichen left a thread of saliva between their lips, then licked it.

"I'll be taking my leave now, Wanyin." Lan Xichen said as he kissed him again, deeper this time.

Jiang Cheng felt he wouldn't have stop had not he pushed him away when he felt he's out of air. Is he a kissing monster?! He thought as he stared at Lan Xichen in shock. He could feel his lips are throbbing and gone numb. Lan Xichen, however, just chuckled and kissed his forehead. Jiang Cheng felt his heart beat fast as Lan Xichen hugged him tight. He closed his eyes, knew that Lan Xichen would leave. He felt like a whole lifetime of him was spent. When he opened his eyes, Lan Xichen was gone. The warmth of him still lingered on his skin and he hugged himself. Suddenly, he missed him. What's good is that, he doesn't have to see him leave. It'll just make him miss him more.

His face flushed once again at the sight of the man's face. He looked away, his heart beating faster as the man nears him. However, it's not because of fear but because of... excitement? His eyes went wide, surprised at his thought and so he stepped back.

The moment he saw him stepped back, Lan Xichen stopped in his tracks. His smile lessened. "Wanyin." He called, his voice gentle. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Jiang Cheng glanced at him. "I – " he said and immediately cleared his throat when his voice shook. "I'm fine." he answered and lowered his gaze. Unconsciously, he touched us neck where the bite is.

Lan Xichen's smile became wider and his eyes became darker as his gaze heated, fixed on Jiang Cheng's neck. "Wanyin." He called, excitement bubbling up inside him as he thought of Jiang Cheng's appearance where his hair is down, but he's beneath him and his hair is spread on a white sheet, they're above the bed.

"Hm?" Jiang Cheng said as he turned to him. He saw Lan Xichen is looking afar, a smile on his face. "What?" he asked. What is he smiling about? He thought as he stared at the profile of the side of Lan Xichen's face. He's really handsome... he thought as his eyes travelled from Lan Xichen's hair, to his forehead, to his brows, his eyes, his nose... and his lips. He suddenly felt his throat went dry when he remembered their kiss. Right. We are lovers. He thought as his cheeks burned. Kissing... hugging... it's just natural for lovers. He thought, then suddenly froze. His face became blank as his eyes slightly narrowed. Right. He thought, feeling his heart sinking. We are lovers, but only in name. He lowered his head. We just became lovers because we are both lonely, alone... longing for someone. However... his face became dark. I only long for love. Lan Xichen's case is different. He... have Jin Guangyao before. Jin Guangyao... maybe they were lovers before. He held his chest as an image of Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao kissing flashed in his mind. Maybe... they've done things more than kissing. Knowing Jin Guangyao's attitude, and Lan Xichen's behaviors recently... maybe... they already did. Just thinking that... he felt like his heard is being twisted violently. Damn it... he cursed. Have I fallen in love with him? He thought as he looked at Lan Xichen. His eyes are closed as he felt the wind. Maybe he's thinking of Jin Guangyao now. Maybe, maybe... he's thinking of Jin Guangyao every time he kisses him. He could feel his tears that're about to fall. Damn it. He cursed as he stepped away from Lan Xichen as if he had seen an enemy. I only agreed to be his lover because I want to experience love! Man or woman, he doesn't care. As long as they care for me... I will love them back. He stopped in his steps when the last sentence registered in his mind. ... I will love them back...? Yes... that's it. He thought as he looked at Lan Xichen. That's... it. I have fallen in love. Unfortunately... he thought when he saw Lan Xichen turned to him and smiled. Does he see Jin Guangyao every time he sees me? Jin Guangyao is the only one in his eyes. He... never have seen me. He thought, then bitterly smiled as he took a step back. However, he didn't feel something beneath his foot he stepped back.

He saw Lan Xichen's eyes went wide as he immediately ran towards him, reaching his hand out. "WANYIN!" he called as he caught him. He felt like his heart was eaten by a giant snake when he saw him about to fall. But, Jiang Cheng already fell on the lake. He felt like his whole world stopped when he saw Jiang Cheng was swallowed by the water. He felt like his heart was swallowed by the void. "WANYIN!!!" he screamed as he jumped after Jiang Cheng.

A loud splash can be heard as another figure disappeared in water. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian who have arrived immediately turned when they heard a loud splash followed by Lan Xichen's scream. They looked at each other and ran towards the pavilion by the lake where they heard the scream and the splash from. However, they only saw the calm lake. "Where did they fell?!" Wei Wuxian asked as they frantically looked around. The lake is as calm is it could be. "Shit!" he cursed as he took off his shoes. "Lan Zhan, I'm gonna find them – " he said as he jumped down the water.

Lan Wangji heaved a sigh as he let the water splash on him, then Wei Wuxian disappeared. "Be sure to come back." He said as he leaned forward to the water. However, since the wooden floor is wet, his hand slipped. "Ah - " he said and a second later another splash can be heard. The lake has become calm again, with four people in its water.

Damn it... Jiang Cheng thought as he let his body drown. This hurts so much... I never thought I'd be hurt this much when I love... this isn't like me. Why did I change? He thought as he coughed. Losing my family is one thing. Losing him... it's another – he felt his tears come out of his eyes, then watched them mix with the lake's water. I really have fallen for him, huh...? He thought and bitterly smiled, then his lips quivered as he let out air from his mouth. Shit – he thought. I never thought that I'd die from the one thing I love – water. I am adept at swimming, yet I'd die from drowning. How ironic... I intended to use him... or did I? I don't know anymore. He thought as his chest constricted. He's losing air. All I want is someone who will love me as I love them back. However, all I got is someone who will never love me back. Pathetic... I'm always pathetic. I thought I already overcome my pathetic self. Turned out, I'm just running around in circles. I never have thought love is painful... I should've realized it. I grieved when my family died because I love them. I grieved when Wei Wuxian died because I love my brother. Now... I wonder. Will Lan Xichen grieve for me? As if he will. He doesn't love me. He'll never love me... he thought as he closed his eyes. Lan Xichen... I wish I never met you. He thought. I wish... I could forget you. But... it's impossible, I know. Now, all I could see is you. He saw a flash of white before him and felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist. The next second and he felt his lips was seized, followed by the air pouring his body through his mouth. All I could think is you... Lan Xichen. He thought and closed his eyes, feeling the kiss. I could still feel you kissing me... I am thinking you saving me. If you really want to save me, then love me back. I know, I am being selfish. But, that's the only thing that could save my heart. But... I know you never will. You will never love me back, thus... you will never save me. I really wish I can stop loving you. Order my heart to stop beating for you. But, the die has been cast. I already have fallen to you. I can never stop loving you. I can never stop thinking about you. I can never stop seeing you. I can never stop... my heart that is beating for you. Lan Xichen... he thought as he felt his consciousness fading. However, he also felt his head being pulled towards the surface. I am sorry... but... he thought as he opened his eyes and saw they're on the surface. Lan Xichen is holding him tight and they're soaked. Can I continue loving you? He thought as he slowly raised his head and met Lan Xichen's face near his face. "Wanyin – " Lan Xichen called, mad.

But, his felt his ears are ringing. I always cause you trouble... he thought as his eyes slowly closed. He saw Lan Xichen is still saying something, however he can't hear them anymore. I know they're just words to reprimand me. Ah... Lan Xichen... you'll never let me love you, huh...? He thought. Then... he felt his head drooped. His eyes finally closed and his consciousness faded away.

I'll just love you secretly.

"Wanyin? Wanyin!" Lan Xichen called as he tapped Jiang Cheng's cheek. Damn it! He cursed as he swam to the pavilion, holding Jiang Cheng by the waist with his arm, and reached for the floor by his other arm. He pulled them up. He heard the floor cracked but they're already up now. "Wanyin. Wanyin!" he called, fear eating his heart as he laid Jiang Chenng down the floor. He blew air into hos mouth and pushed his chest to make him force the water he took in out. "Wanyin... Wanyin! Don't do this to me! Please!" he said as his tears mixed in with the water on his face. "Wanyin... don't leave me, please..." he said as he lowered his head. He hit Jiang Cheng's chest, harder than he intended.

Jiang Cheng felt the water on his stomach traveled upwards and went out of his mouth and nose. He coughed, feeling his throat and chest hurt. Shit... he cursed as he moved his body to the side to cough out more water.

Lan Xichen's eyes flew open and he turned. "Wanyin!" he exclaimed as he immediately hugged him.

Jiang Cheng opened his eyes. "... can't... breathe – " he said and coughed.

"Oh –" Lan Xichen said as he loosened his hug. "Wanyin. Don't scare me like that again, please – " he said as his hug tightened.

Jiang Cheng looked at him, then sighed. Lan Xichen... he thought as he closed his eyes and returned the hug. I really can't say 'no' to you. He thought. Have you thought of Jin Guangyao, that's why you said that? Of course you did. After all, only him will you ever love. Lan Xichen... I give up. Call me desperate, a martyr... as long as I can feel your love, even if it's not meant for me and for someone else's – Jin Guangyao's, I'd be fine to be someone else's replacement. His tears fell, but he doesn't care.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji broke in the surface. The moment they did, Wei Wuxian saw Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng crying. They were about to cheer when he saw Jiang Cheng's face. His face became serious. He already expected this, yet... it still hurts. He already is hurting this much seeing his brother cry, how much more Jiang Cheng who's experiencing the pain first-hand? "Wei Ying." He heard Lan Wangji called him. He didn't notice his face already gone dark.

"Lan Zhan. Tell me." He said and turned to his husband. "Should I have stopped Jiang Cheng, even if I already knew this is going to happen?" he asked, his tears mixed with the water on his face.

Lan Wangji wiped his tears, then shook his head. "Jiang Wanyin chose this. All of us have a choice. Wei Ying..." he called. "... all we can do is let them overcome their choice." He told him and kissed his forehead.

Wei Wuxian choked back a sob. He doesn't want Jiang Cheng to hear him, since Jiang Cheng will just worry. The two of them silently left in Bichen, still soaked.

Jiang Cheng just heaved a sigh as he smiled and patted Lan Xichen's back. "Hey." He called when he felt Lan Xichen's head on his shoulder. "You can let go of me n-" he said and stopped when he tapped Lan Xichen's cheek but felt Lan Xichen is hot. Well, he is hot but I meant literally – he thought as he felt Lan Xichen's forehead. "Shit – " he cursed when he felt Lan Xichen's whole body is hot. "Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen!" he called as he tapped his cheeks. However, Lan Xichen is unconscious. "Lan Xichen!" he called, panicking. "Someone!" he yelled as he wrapped Lan Xichen's arm around his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around Lan Xichen's waist to support him. "Hang on..." he told him as he pulls his weight. "I'll save you – " he said as his vision started to turn dark. Damn it... he thought, his body heavy. He's having a fever, too. Damn... it.. he thought, his eyes closing. He felt his body weakened, but he held Lan Xichen tightly.

"Sect leader - !" he heard his disciples called.

However, their voice faded. His eyes closed. Before his body could fall, he felt the arm around his shoulder tightened. "Lan... Xichen – " he muttered before he lost consciousness.

"Wanyin- !" Lan Xichen called, his eyes closing, too. He hugged Jiang Cheng close to him and turned his back before they fell, unconscious.

Night.

Jiang Cheng woke up when he felt his body is heavy. But, unlike last time there's something heavy above him. He opened his eyes and touched that something on his stomach, only to feel a warm hand. His eyes flew open wide and he turned. Sure enough, Lan Xichen is there on his side. However, unlike last time Lan Xichen is sleeping beside him – on the bed. He went red up to his neck. "Enjoying?" a voice said.

Jiang Cheng almost jumped out of the bed because of shock. He turned and saw Wei Wuxian leaning on Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian yawned. "Don't worry. I just woke up and didn't saw you staring at Zewu-jun's face – " he said, sleepy. "I dunno about Lan Zhan – " he said.

Jiang Cheng went redder. "I won't tell anything – " Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng felt his whole body turned red. "Get lost!" he told the two, embarrassed.

"Oh, we know you want to solo Zewu-jun. We won't be interrupting – " Wei Wuxian said.

Jiang Cheng turned into stone. Before he could refute, the two already left. He sighed as he turned to Lan Xichen deeply sleeping beside him. "Lan..." he called, then stopped. He remembered what Lan Xichen told him before. His cheeks burned. "Lan... Huan..." he said as he caressed Lan Xichen's cheek. He felt hot, but lesser now. His fever had died down. "Lan... Huan..." he muttered as his finger ran on his cheek, to his forehead, down to his nose, then lips. He sucked in his breath when he felt his soft lips. These soft lips... I wonder if it also kissed Jin Guangyao? He thought as he felt a pang on his chest. He badly wanted to kiss him, but the thought of him sharing with Jin Guangyao... no. He's not sharing with him. Jin Guangyao has long owns Lan Xichen. He felt his heart rebelling and his finger on Lan Xichen's lips pressed harder. Suddenly, he felt his finger was licked. He felt a shiver ran on his skin when he turned and saw Lan Xichen licking his finger. His heart leapt out his mouth. "Lan..." he said.

But, before he could continue Lan Xichen pulled him by his wrist and he fell on top of him. His eyes went wide when he felt something big and hard is poking his abdomen. He gulped, and he went red to the roots of his hair. "Wanyin." Lan Xichen called, his voice low and hoarse as he caressed Jiang Cheng's face, tucking in his hair that fell on his face to the back of his ears, giving a clear view of his face. Lan Xichen's gaze on his is deep and burning, making his body feel hot. "Don't scare me like that again... Wanyin – " he called.

Before Jiang Cheng could speak, Lan Xichen already claimed his lips. Jiang Cheng's eyes went wide and he felt Lan Xichen's hand slipped inside his robe, then tearing it off him. He gasped, but Lan Xichen slipped his tongue inside him and played with his tongue. He felt he has no time to breathe when Lan Xichen switched their position – now he's beneath Lan Xichen and Lan Xichen is on top of him. He just noticed but Lan Xichen is wearing his innermost robe. However, he's already naked. And so he could directly feel that long and thick rod poking him between the legs, making his legs squirm – unintentionally trapping the head of the rod between his legs. Lan Xichen stared at him, his gaze on him becoming hotter. Wanyin... he thought as his dream of Jiang Cheng beneath him with his hair spread wildly on the sheets now come true. He didn't wait anymore and claimed what's his. Yes... he thought. Jiang Cheng is his – only his. He thought as his hand slipped between Jiang Cheng's legs, rubbing his long and slender legs before settling on his private part.

Jiang Cheng felt like he's going crazy. He's scared, but at the same time excited. His fear only adds to his excitement since he also wanted to know how it feels to be touched by Lan Xichen... how it feels to be entered by him... how it feels to be owned by him. Yes... he already regarded Lan Xichen as his owner, even if Lan Xichen is not his. As long as he still needs me... he thought as a tear fell from his eye when Lan Xichen inserted a finger inside him. It hurts, yet it doesn't compare to the pain he always feels. And so he welcomed another finger. His toe curled when Lan Xichen's fingers moved inside him. He doesn't know where to place his hand and so he touched Lan Xichen below. He felt his hand was burned and Lan Xichen groaned. So sexy. He thought as he stared at Lan Xichen, the played with. So big... and so long... so hard... he thought and gulped, knowing this will enter him later. He gasped when he felt Lan Xichen's fingers went out of him together with some liquid. He came. He looked at Lan Xichen in disbelief, but Lan Xichen kissed him. He kissed him back and felt Lan Xichen took his hand before he cried when he felt Lan Xichen entered him. He felt his mind go blank and he almost blacked out had not Lan Xichen kissed him gently – his lips, his cheeks, his forehead... he broke a sweat as he cried again when Lan Xichen started to enter his inside him. Shit! He felt like he's being split into two! He thought as he gone pale, and Lan Xichen continuously whispered words of love to him, at the same time placing his hand on his muscular chest.

"Wanyin." Lan Xichen called. "Do you feel me?" he asked as he stared at Jiang Cheng's face pale, looking daze. "I hope you do- " he said as he kissed him as he fully thrusted inside him. "Wanyin – " he called as he started to move, his hands on Jiang Cheng's waist as he simultaneously kissed him and whispered to him.

Jiang Cheng doesn't know anymore. All he knows is that he wrapped his arms around Lan Xichen's neck as he pulled him towards him, kissing him back to make him forget the pain he feels of being thrusted. When he kissed him back, Lan Xichen raised hid legs and put them around his waist, then held Jiang Cheng's waist as he thrusted deeper. Jiang Cheng gasped and moaned, alternating as he felt the pain turning to pleasure. He cried when he felt he's going to release. He felt his body relaxed after his release, and all he could feel is Lan Xichen still inside him who released inside him. The moment he relaxed he felt the tiredness. Not a second later and hid eyes closed. He fell asleep.

Lan Xichen wiped the sweat off Jiang Cheng's forehead as he kissed him. "My dear beautiful Wanyin..." he whispered as he took his forehead ribbon on the bedside table. He gathered Jiang Cheng's hair and tied them with his forehead ribbon. He smiled, satisfied, as he looked at his beloved sleep. "Wanyin... I love you – " he said as he started to leave bites on his neck, on his shoulder. He grinned as he held Jiang Cheng's legs then bit it. Then, licked the bite. Ahhh... he felt harder inside Jiang Cheng. He wanted to make love to him again, yet he knows his beloved is tired for today. Just thinking of what happened earlier made his heart sank. He lie down beside Jiang Cheng and hugged him tight. "Wanyin... I can't bear to lose you." He said as he caressed his cheek. He wiped the tear that fell on Jiang Cheng's eye. "I'll kill myself if I'll lose you. Wanyin... don't leave me – " he said and his tears fell. Even if Jiang Cheng doesn't love him, as long as he is his... "I love you so much. I won't let go of you, no matter what." He told him as he kissed his forehead and hugged him tightly. Tomorrow... he thought, then fell asleep.

(A/N: to be continued.)