20

Shanice's POV (shay)

"you hungry mama?" kailyn asked.

"not really."

"then what? you want anything?" she rubbed my head.

"just to be in your presence," i mumbled.

"shay remember what i told you? you always come home at the end of the day."

"i know."

"and why is that?"

"nobody treats me better than you." i mumbled.

"exactly mama," she pecked my lips, "so why do you keep tryna leave me? you always said because of me going to college. i'm in college in the city for you shay. everything i've done is for you so why do you always try to go?"

"kai can we please not talk about this right now? just be in the moment."

"yeah im sorry," she squeezed me a bit tighter.

every single time i do something with someone else or try to get to know someone they do me wrong and i end up back with kailyn.

she's 20, a dom fem, and a sophomore in college.

when she was a junior and i was a freshman we met and she entertained me because i started school later and was 16 when she was 17.

we were going strong though through freshman and sophomore year until she got closer to graduating. the deeper into senior year she got them more toxic she was getting. i didn't want to do long distance or have her cheat in college so we broke up.

we still saw each other though because as soon as she graduated she got herself a place and i'd always be over there. we would chill and do relationship things so we ultimately got back together, but that's when all the toxic shit came back so we broke up again for good.

in that time that we broke up to now i talked to three girls including brooklyn and they all did some weird shit and everyyy time i would end up back in kailyn's arms with her telling me the same thing.

about how she treats me better than anyone and saying i should've never left her because i wont find anyone better. im honestly starting to believe it. she's right i always come home to her, there has to be a reason for that.

i began to doze off a little bit laying on her on her couch when my phone buzzed.

i blocked brooklyn on everything so it couldn't have been her. it was my cousin sending me a screen recording of brooklyns story.

i rolled my eyes clicking on it anyways.

i furrowed my eyebrows listening to it, did she just pop out with cianna? what the fuck.

"why you tense up?" she asked looking down at me.

"the person i was talking to made a song about the other girl popping out."

"oh shit that's what you listening to?"

"mhm."

"it's okay, she doesn't deserve you. you know how great you are, how patient, how loving, how beautiful you are? them other girls couldn't compare to you." she kissed me again, "you're perfect shay."

"thank you kai." i chuckled a little.

"im serious though." she smiled.

as soon as i put my phone down i had a call.

seeing it was my birth giver i picked up.

"hello?"

"shanice where are you? your little friend came here looking for you. she's on her way to pick you up."

"wait what? no i'm coming back."

"too late left fifteen minutes ago she'll be there soon. when you get back we're talking about this." she hung up.

"what's wrong?"

"my mother told the girl where i am and she's on the way."

"oh shit, you think she gonna try to fight me?"

"probably not but it's gonna be messy as fuck and i'm not here for it." i sighed.

"okay so what you wanna do?"

"imma just go so it's no tension."

"well no she did you wrong don't go, i'll take you home after she leaves." she offered.

"okay."

"yeah of cou-," she was cut off by the bell.

"just act like it's the wrong house."

she nodded and got up going to the door.

"uh can i help you?" she opened the door.

"yeah uh you have a shay in here?"

"no i think you have the wrong house."

"okay, so her shoes are right there." she looked down.

"they're mine actually."

"that's a whole different size, listen i just wanna talk to her."

"she doesn't want to talk to you. she doesn't even want you. can you get from my door now?"

"it was a misunderstanding, who even are you?" brooklyn asked confusion all on her tongue.

"her girlfriend."

"her girlfriend?"

"yes, we were arguing and she wanted to get back at me, she's my girlfriend and she doesn't want you so again please get the fuck from my door." she shut the door.

"that was harsh." i laughed nervously when she came back into the living room

"she hurt you and im your person so no it wasn't."

she makes it so hard not to like her.

i lowkey folded at that but im too hurt to take this any further.

"i appreciate you kai but i can't right now. can you please take me home? you know how my mother is."

"yeah i got you," she cracked a small smile, "let's go."

i followed her out to her driveway and was met with brooklyn.

"shay," she came up to me. "please listen to me i'm sorry."

"no brooklyn, im done i don't want you."

"shay please."

"she said no get from my house." kailyn wrapped her arm around me continuing to the car.

she kept trying to talk to me but i ignored her getting in the car.

kai drove out of her driveway.

"thanks," i mumbled.

"yeah. she's pretty." she said randomly.

"who?"

"the girl, brooklyn right?"

"mhm."

"she's pretty, i bet yall looked good together," she mumbled the last part.

"we did but it doesn't matter, she had hoes and chose which one to hear her vows." i shrugged.

"i guess," she kept driving,"i know you going through a lot with her but when you feeling better i want you to call me."

"kailyn you know i can't." we talked about this the last time we got back together and said we'd never get back because we were too toxic.

"you can, there's a reason you came to my house. i'm your safe place, where you belong. we're both older and grown, it's no more of that toxic shit." she plead.

we've had this conversation twice before.

"maybe, i thank you again though," i cracked a smile as she pulled up to my house.

"yeah, i'll talk to you later mama," she said to me before i gave her a goodbye kiss which she asked for.

after i got out i stuck my key in the door trying to turn it as slow and quietly as i could.

i made it successfully or so i thought.

"shanice get in here!" my mother yelled from her room.

"yes maam?" i walked in.

"where were you?"

"i went to go see my friend."

"who?"

"kailyn."

"your ex?" she raised a brow.

"yeah, it wasn't nothing though."

"don't be a whore brooklyn really likes you. i like her and think she's good for you." she expressed her opinion and feelings which she never does.

"brooklyn doesn't like me, im not being a whore, and how can you like her, or her for me if you don't even fucking like me?" i got a little bit loud.

"first of all who are you getting up with because it ain't me."

"i'm sorry."

"you should be and you're grounded."

"what? you can't ground me im literally 19."

"you're also still under my roof so you're grounded. now get out of my room!" she yelled, "must've lost your motherfucking mind," she mumbled.

i can't wait to get out this house.. i just hope that she doesn't treat eddie like shit when he gets older.

i got to my room and eddie looked sad, "whats wrong buddy?"

"brook no come back," he frowned.

"i'll take you to the store instead it's okay."

right after i said that my phone buzzed and it was a notification from cash app.

it was from brooklyn.

she sent me 250 with a note saying for eddies birthday and for me to get something nice.

who does she think i am?

i sent it all back with a message saying she can't buy me back.

she then sent it back with 300 saying that she wasn't and that i should've told her i was in a relationship.

i wanted to tell her i wasn't but i didnt. she can't get that satisfaction.

i sent it back again saying keep your shit.

she sent 350 saying sorry, asking to talk and saying she'd block me before actually doing it so that i wouldn't be able to send it back.

i rolled my eyes sighing.

"we can go to the store tomorrow, brook sent you some money because she can't make it. she said she's sorry."

"i see her?"

"no im sorry."

i saw his face turn and just knew he was about to cry.

"eddie please don't cry right now."

i should've never said that because he did. i went over to his bed and picked him up sitting down with him in my lap on my beanbag chair.

he wouldn't stop and i can't comfort him right now, i can't be there for everyone and not have anyone.

brooklyn is a hoe, kailyn is great but toxic as hell, the guys aren't people i can talk to abt this stuff, all the girls i talk to are just people im cool with, and plus my own mother hates my guts.

all i could do was join in on eddie's cries for reasons way more complex than he could understand.

all i know is as the end of the day it'll always be me and him._______

might as well get yall up to 20 enjoy