t w o

When I got home I sobbed into my pillow in an attempt to be as quiet as possible. It didn't work.

"I'm busy!" I yelled when someone knocked on my door. I tried my best to sound like I hadn't been crying but the person behind my door didn't buy it.

"No your not, I'm coming in!"

Liv walked into my room wearing a short black dress, strappy black heels and holding a black clutch.

"Going to a funeral are we?" I asked when she sat down next to me. I didn't sit up I just stayed curled up in a ball.

"Haha very funny. I'm actually meant to be going on a date soon and I wanted to check my outfit with you. But now I'm thinking I should ditch the guy and stay with you," she said with concered eyes.

"What no I'm fine!" I lied. I would feel guilty if she missed her date because of me.

"Babe it's pretty obvious your not. Now what's gotten you crying like this?"

I sighed, I knew I wouldn't win the battle.

"I took Evie to the park round the corner for her walk and Niall was there. But like, I don't even know how he knew. And then he said he was sorry for what he did to me and I told him to leave me alone. But now I think I should have let him explain because I want to forgive him I really do. Although he did cheat on me but I love him so much," I said all at once.

"Lily, listen to me... he cheated on you. He cheated. Its the most horrible and selfish thing to do in the whole world," she paused and sighed, "However, I do think if he wants to explain himself then you should let him. Your the strongest person I know so whatever happens, you can handle it."

I nodded and reached for my phone that was on my bedside table. I opened up my notes and scrolled down the one with all the addresses. Before I'd gone to Nialls that night I had added his address to my notes because I felt as if I had to. I'm not sure why I didn't delete it from my addresses but I was glad I didn't.

"Wait before you go put something a bit nicer on," Liv said as I started to stand up. I frowned at her and looked down at my outfit. I was wearing black jogging bottems, a grey sweatshirt and odd socks. I groaned and watched Liv as she pulled out a pair of black leggings, a white, cropped tank top and an oversized blue checkered shirt.

I threw the outfit on and grabbed a pair of white chunky trainers from the bottem of my wardrobe. Liv watched as I pulled them on and did up the laces.

"OK, ring me if he makes you cry and I will come over and smack him. I don't care if he's in my favourite boy band of all time," Liv said as she hugged me.

I took deep breath and nodded, I was to nervous to speak. I grabbed my phone, said bye to Evie quickly and walked downstairs.

"Dad!" I yelled when I picked up his car keys.

"Yeah!" he yelled back from the kitchen.

"I'm just going out quick. I'm taking your car OK?"

"Alright. Have fun wherever your going!" he shouted. I heard a loud bang and my dad swearing just before I walked out the door. Liv followed behind me and waved as she climbed in her car and drove away. I loved her car. It was a white jeep wrangler that she'd got for her 18th birthday. Her parents were pretty rich and she always got whatever she asked for on her birthday so of course when she asked for her dream car, she got it.

"Your destination is 23 minutes away," the satnav man told me when I put Niall's address in. I took another deep breath before starting the engine and driving to Niall's.

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As I walked up to Niall's front door I felt as if I could throw up any moment. My hands were shaking violently and I felt like my oxygen was being cut off.

I reached Niall's front steps just in time for me to sit down otherwise I would have been sick. I rested my forehead on my knees that were pulled up close to my chest and took deep breaths. It was happening again. The same thing that happened the night Niall came around to my house unexpectedly. But this time it was worse and all I wanted to do was scream but I couldn't because my throat was so dry.

Out of nowhere, the door behind me opened and I froze. I could tell Niall was looking down on me and wondering what the hell I was doing. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him sit down next to me and I swallowed even though my throat was like a desert.

"Lily, are you OK?"

I felt tears forming and I begged them to stay put but they just wouldn't. My cheeks became wet and hot very quickly.

"Lily I know you aren't the biggest fan of me at the moment but you gotta tell me what's wrong because your scaring me," Niall pressured. I couldn't speak. If I did I was sure I would vomit everywhere. So instead I leant sideways and found his shoulder.

Oh that beautiful smell. I've missed that smell.

I shut my eyes and relaxed as the sick feeling went down and my throat suddenly wasn't dry anymore. My hands stopped shaking and I stopped crying. I took one final deep breath and sat up straight, leaving tear stains on Niall's grey t-shirt.

"I shouldn't be here. I should go. I shouldn't have come here. I should go. I shouldn't have rested my head on your shoulder. I should go. I need to go," I panicked and stood up quickly. I whipped my eyes with my sleeve.

"Wait," Niall was stood up now, his hand pulled my shoulder back and I looked at him, "Are you sure you OK?"

I nodded but felt even more tears brewing just below my eyes. He raised his eyebrows at me, "Please don't lie to me."

In a single blink, tears started falling once more. I shook my head and fell into his chest as sobs escaped me. I didn't care how much I hated him, I loved him more and he made me feel safe even in that moment when he was the one who was making me hurt.

"It's OK," he whispered into my hair. Feeling him next to me made me calm and my breathing returned fully to normal as I let myself relax into his chest.

It had been a long two and a half months but I was home. I was finally home.