Wise Words From A Prick

"Her voice is fucking annoying." Oli noted on my late night television show choice. I sighed. This was the third night in row that I had difficulty sleeping. We were watching The Nanny, and I had to agree, her voice was nasally as fuck, but the rest of the show was kinda funny. "There's not much else on. You can see if there's something else you'd rather watch." I handed him the remote which he took and began flipping channels. I yawned. Again I was tired, but my mind refused to let my eyes close and stay shut. My days were starting to blur together with my lack of sleep. I couldn't tell you what day of the week it was, nor how long I actually spent sitting alone reading. I took to not staying in bed all day though, I started reading in the library a little. Sometimes I worried that I was annoying Oli, but then again he never hinted on if I was or wasn't. "Have you figured out why you can't sleep or are you just gonna accept not sleeping?" Oli asked me, his eyes still on the television, finger pressing the up channel button. I shrugged. "I feel like I can't sleep because I'm worried about my life in general and it's driving me crazy." I told him. "But there's really not a lot I can do to reassure myself that everything's gonna be okay." "Well, let's start at why you're worried in the first place?" He asked me. "Because I never came close to being happy with my life." I answered. A small chuckle left his lips. "What?" "That's where you went wrong, Holly. Belief in happiness will only lead you to lustful wishes." He stopped surfing channels and stopped on some late-night police drama show. "I'm sorry that I think that we're supposed to somewhat enjoy life." "You can enjoy life and not be happy. Enjoyment and happiness are two completely different things." "Whatever." "Don't be upset. Okay, so you're worried about not enjoying your life. What do you enjoy doing?" "I like reading. I don't really do a lot." "We'll continue with that. Do you like poetry?" "Sure, I guess." "Maybe try your hand at poetry. It could help get out your thoughts and hopefully help you to sleep better." "Thanks, I'll have to try that then." A thought crossed my mind and I glanced over at Oli. "Do you sleep?" "Not really. I used to, but not anymore." He answered with a sigh. "Why don't you sleep anymore?" I asked him quietly. "It's very sad, depressing and a tad crazy so I won't go into details. But I don't sleep anymore because, how do I put this?" He thought for a few moments, leaving me grappling dangerously on the edge of his words. "Hallucinations? Night terrors? It's weird, and I can't quite put it into words. And like you, I have a lot on my mind causing me to stay awake anyway." "What's on your mind then?" I dared to ask. He looked at me, a smug expression on his face. "Now, Holly, I just told you that I wouldn't go into details." He replied. "But since you're so fucking nosy I'll tell you." "I'm not nosy." I argued back weakly. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You're nosy, accept it." "Fine, whatever. Tell me what's on your mind, since I'm so dying to know." I joked dryly. He smirked at me and looked me dead in the eyes. "Death. Murder. Violence. And most of all, a secret that could probably get me killed if a word of it even pressed against my teeth." He spoke lowly, his words slightly above a whisper. I blinked and he started to laugh. "You're definitely not going to sleep tonight." "Are you joking?" "Nope." He replied, popping the 'p'. "I might be a sarcastic prick, but I'm not joking. I consider myself to be a tormented artist, if you will." "Tormented artist?" "Tormented by my mind, hallucinations and thoughts that drive me slightly insane, but provide the best inspiration for creative ideas." "You sound fucking insane." "And I probably am. But why fix my broken mind when it sometimes brings me enjoyment through it's painful visions?" He chuckled. "I like my mind. Most people don't. But you, my dear, Holly, are just nosy and probably dying to understand all what goes on inside my head, am I right?" "No...I'm just curious." "Curiosity killed the cat and the seven victims of a back-alley serial killer." "Okay, you're starting to scare me." "I'm not shocked. What I am shocked about is why I bothered telling you all of that." "Maybe because you trust me?" "Trust is illogical. Tell me, do you trust me?" "Yeah...?" "Like I told you; you're so fucking naive, Holly."

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I didn't like the smell of nail polish, and Nair smelled yuck as fuck. I was in the bathroom starting a routine beautification process. I was painting my nails to pass the time so the Nair on my legs and arms could work their acclaimed magic. My hair was pulled up atop my head messily, but a few fly-constantly kept falling into my eyesight. "It smells like a fishy pussy, what the fuck are you doing?" Missy asked me as she walked into the shower room, naked. I raised an eyebrow at her. "What does it look like I'm doing?" I asked her flatly. She scoffed and walked into the showers, not bothering to utter another word towards me. I blew on my fingernails to hurry up their drying time so I could wash off the terrible reek of the Nair that had begun to dissolve into my skin. I preferred Nair-ing the hair off and then going over what didn't come off with a razor. Mainly because I was clumsy and always winded up nicking myself when I used a razor. Why was it so hard to shave? Ashley and Jake had made up that morning over breakfast. Both of them claimed to having missed the other. It was so stupid and gross I almost threw up everything in my stomach. Why did they even bother anymore? It was obvious that their 'love' was s thinly veiled over and that they had no right to be together. Perhaps I was just a bitter bystander and only cared about the fact that they'd go back to hating each other in the matter of days. At last, my nails had dried and I went into the showers and started rinsing off the stinky hair-removal lotion. My body hair wasn't even that noticeable, but I, myself, noticed enough and felt repulsed by it. Carefully, I began shaving the remaining hair off of my legs. "Oops!" Ashley said bumping into me, causing me to nick myself on my calf. "Fucking bitch." I muttered under my breath, the cut already starting to bleed. The water that hit it stung like acid. I had already nicked myself twice, I didn't need her help to make more little cuts on my legs. So I went on shaving, only nicking myself once more. I hurriedly rinsed off and washed the rest of me and got out the shower. I wrapped myself up in a towel and went across the hall and to my room. Josie was sitting on my bed. I glanced at her as I started to get dressed. "Hey, Holly, I know that the other girls have been pretty bitchy to you." Josie started. I nodded and let her go on. "But, I just want you to know, I'm always here to talk. Me and Shay have been a bit worried about you." "You don't need to be worrying about me. I'm fine." I told her, pulling a cami over my head. She nodded, a tight-lipped, concerned frown present on he face. "I know, I know, but you don't really talk to anyone. And we're a family here." Josie reminded me. I nodded. "Yeah, I remember Ashley telling me that, and now she treats me like shit. Some family we are." I muttered bitterly. "No matter what, we only have each other." Josie replied. "C'mon, Holly. We're gonna have a small barbecue tonight. Madame even bought us ice cream for it. Please tell me you'll join in." "I might, might not." I said with a shrug. "Well, I won't push you to, if you don't want to join. But, just know we all are here for you no matter what." Josie stood and kissed me on the cheek. "I hope to see you at dinner, Holly." She then walked out of the room probably to go to a client. I sighed. At least she didn't accuse me of 'becoming an Oli' like Tyler had. Did anyone try to convince Oli to hang out anymore? Or had they all given up on asking him. It wouldn't hurt to invite him myself. So I went downstairs and into the library. There he stood, putting away books onto their rightful shelf. I went over to him. "Hey, Holly without the H, are you busy tonight?" I asked him. He raised an eyebrow but continued shelving books. "Are you asking me out, Oli with an H?" He asked me jokingly. I laughed. "No, but everyone is having some sort of barbecue thing and I was wondering if you were going to go." I explained. "Probably not. I don't know if you can tell or not, but I'm not the best around other people." He told me. "But you're fine around me." I pointed out to him. He sighed. "You're different." He mumbled and then walked down the aisle and onto another, me following close behind him. "How so?" "I dunno. You're kinda like me, I guess, so I don't mind being around you." "How am I like you?" "We both like to read, we both have trouble sleeping, we both don't hang out with anyone else, we both kinda ended up on the wrong path...etcetera, etcetera." "Those are small things, we're more different than alike." "True, but like magnets, opposites snap together. For example, I think you're annoying as fuck sometimes, but then, I also like talking to you and hearing your view on things." "I annoy you? Well, sometimes I think you're a fucking prick with a really dark and twisted mind." "Opposites, but we have some common ground." He slid the final book in his hands onto the shelf in front of him and turned to me. "So, you're okay with me, but with the others, it's a bit more difficult to just be okay around them." "So you won't come?" I asked him sadly. He shrugged. "Aw, don't look at me like that." He looked away from me. "Do you want me to go?" "If only you want to, but if you're worried about the others, then I'll be right by your side if you want." I told him quietly. It'd probably been a while since anyone invited him to do anything, maybe that's why he wasn't thrilled about the idea. He glanced at me, but then looked to the ground. "You promise you'll be right by my side?" "Pinkie promise." I extended my pinkie finger to him. He laughed a little but wrapped his pinkie around mine.

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Josie had been right that everyone was out in the backyard. It smelled really good, whatever they were making. A plastic table was filled with bowls upon bowls of food. I couldn't quite tell why we were all eating together when we usually didn't. Was it someone's birthday? I went to step out into the backyard but Oli pulled me back. "Can I be honest with you for a second?" He whispered to me. I nodded. "I'm scared." "No need to be scared, see, I'm right here." I smiled at him, despite how my stomach was flipping with uneasiness as well. "Okay." His hand slid into mine and squeezed my fingers. "Remember you promised not to leave my side." "I know, and I won't." I opened the back patio door and we both stepped into the small, grassy, yard.