Part 34

Beyoncé invited Michelle to her next outing with Chris. The two had met before but Beyoncé was close with them both so she wanted to spend time with them together. Besides, they got along well enough. She thought maybe they could all be friends.

"Beyyyy," Chris said smiling widely as she approached the table. He was always like that, a beacon of light and joy in her life.

Beyoncé hugged him, pulling away as the hug lasted too long. "You look happy?" She asked with a smile. He was grinning and glowing.

"I'm in a good place Bey. I just got back from England."

"That's great, how was it?" She asked.

"It was brilliant, I took the kids to see family, we went to Cornwall, got to eat some real fish and chips. It was good. It really helped to clear my head from all the nonsense."

Beyoncé smiled, "Nonsense? What's been going on?"

"Oh you know kids... they're walking nightmares"

"Who you telling," Beyoncé scoffed pausing before she shared the news. "I guess now's a good time to tell you I'm about to be a grandmother."

Chris's eyes widened, "what? Brooke...?"

"Mhm," she rolled her eyes, picking up some bread and butter.

"Hey at least the baby's gonna be cute."

Beyoncé just made a face. She didn't even want to imagine the little creature. "Sometimes I wonder if Brooke was only cute cuz she was mine."

"Beyoncé! That's not nice."

"What? It's true. Most babies look like aliens," she took a bite into the soft bread letting it bounce on the inside of her mouth as she chewed.

"There's something wrong with you."

Beyoncé rolled her eyes, "you sound like Ryan."

Chris raised his brows, "what's that one done?" He asked. "Trouble in paradise already?"

Beyoncé explained the whole situation about Brooke and Ryan arguing and how Ryan had "told Brooke about her sex life". She was so pissed, Chris could hear it in her voice. "Can you believe she said that?"

"Bloody hell," was all Chris said. "Can't say your life's boring."

"Can you be serious for five seconds?" Beyoncé rolled her eyes.

"Fine," he let his grin fade a little and looked at her. "I mean what did you expect Bey?" He shrugged, giving her a half smile.

"What do you mean?" Beyoncés eyes narrowed slightly, jaw bunching as she looked at him. He was probably the only one who could get away with saying something like that to her, didn't mean she had to like it though.

"You had to know you couldn't keep it secret forever." Chris shrugged.

"I wasn't going to. I told her to wait for me to say something."

"I hear that but you'd already made her wait for months."

Beyoncé rolled her eyes. "So what's a couple more days?"

Chris just shrugged. They both had their opinions and he honestly didn't care that much to argue.

Michelle wasn't there yet, still on her way to the restaurant so Beyoncé decided to change the subject. "Anyways what's going on with your kids? Which ones bothering you this time?" Beyoncé asked changing the subject.

"The boy," Chris rolled his eyes explaining the situation that his son had gotten himself into as Beyoncé listened and offered him advice.

Parenting was so confusing and you just never quite knew if you were doing it right. It was just a matter of trying your best and preparing your kids for the outside world as much as possible.

Eventually Michelle arrived and Beyoncé made sure Michelle sat next to her in the booth. They made small talk before she told Michelle about Brooke being pregnant as well.

"Woah?" Michelle's eyes widened, "little baby Brooke? I still remember when she was finger painting and drawing on walls." Michelle had known Beyoncé since she'd moved out of her hometown. She reminded her of home, both having similar roots and she'd been there for most of her major life milestones. Outside of nannies, Michelle was the only one she ever really trusted with her child.

"Right," Beyoncé rolled her eyes for the millionth time. "But yep. She wants to have a baby."

A waiter came by to take all of their orders and the conversation paused as they each asked for exactly what they wanted. The only one without any modifications was Chris and when the waiter finally left, they both clowned him for being such a follower.

"Brooke's keeping the baby?" Michelle asked.

Beyoncé nodded. "I really hoped she wouldn't. I kept trying to tell her about abortions without making it obvious that's what I wanted. But here we are, she wants to do this."

Michelle took a breath before responding, "well life is a blessing so congratulations Bey. You're gonna be a grandma."

Beyoncé rolled her eyes and Michelle grinned. "Ooh I think it's gonna be a boy."

"I vote girl, they seem like a girl family," Chris chimed in.

"You know, I always thought Shawn had girly sperm." Michelle added.

"Ew can we not talk about my exes sperm while I'm eating," Beyoncé groaned.

Chris just burst out laughing. He had a joke on the tip of his tongue about eating and sperm but that felt a little too vulgar for Michelle. He could tell sometimes that his jokes shocked her. She wasn't overly sensitive but she was a Christian girl at heart so sometimes it made her jump to hear.

Beyoncé just rolled her eyes. She could tell just from how he was laughing that whatever he'd just thought of was too much for the table. "Y'all are the worst."

"You love us though," Michelle grinned.

Beyoncé scoffed and they continued eating and talking. It was actually nice to get her mind off of everything going on. Chris and Michelle were her closest friends, everyone else was just a colleague or someone she knew from around. Chris and Michelle were her actual people.

She didn't tell Michelle about Ryan though. She'd only told Chris because he already knew about them dating so why not tell him the full story. Telling Michelle would mean she'd have to really look at herself and her actions. She didn't want that, Chris was already judging her.

The three of them ended up going back to Michelle's place to smoke.

"You're so lucky you don't have kids," Chris chuckled looking around. Michelle had a home that clearly didn't get many children visitors with all the artwork and glass lying around. "That's my way of saying you have a lovely home."

Michelle giggled, "thank you Chris." She was really warming up to him. She could see why Beyoncé liked this guy even if he was a little strange sometimes.

Michelle smoked almost every night. It helped her relax and enjoy things more. The three sat around passing the blunt between them, from hand to hand blowing out smoke.

Chris was looking at her now staring at her face as Beyoncé went to the bathroom to pee for the millionth time. Drinking that wine at dinner had her peeing every 5 minutes.

She came out to see Chris blowing smoke into Michelle's mouth and frowned suspiciously.

"Chris we should probably get going," she raised a brow. Whatever this was needed to stop.

"Uh yeah, it's late," he said. The three said their goodbyes and Beyoncé and Chris left the house.

Some weeks later, Beyoncé conducted the interviews for her study over zoom. She sent her participants an email explaining what she needed from them and joked about giving them their Wednesdays back.

Ryan sighed. She used to like these Wednesdays because she'd get to see Beyoncé. Though she was glad this time that she wouldn't see her, it still tasted bittersweet on her tongue. That woman had messed with her in ways she couldn't even fully understand yet.

Ryan hadn't spoken to Beyoncé in over a month and it felt like she was still going through some kind of withdrawals. She wanted her back even after how Beyoncé had left her. Even after the way she'd hurt her, she still wanted Beyoncé back.

But she had to accept that Beyoncé was never coming back. She wasn't going to forgive her or even accept that she'd been wrong as well. So Ryan tried her best to move on with Gabby instead. The best way to get over someone is by being under someone else, right?

At least that's what Coco said after she told her about the bruises on her skin. This time she told Coco everything that was going on with her sex life. She told her about Gabby being married and made sure she knew that it was just sex before she went on a speech about anything being inappropriate. It really didn't matter that much if it was just sex.

One night after she'd just been on her knees eating pussy, Gabrielle asked her to stay the night and she agreed. She asked for something to sleep in and the taller one shuffled through her closet for a shirt.

"Are you ever gonna tell me the story behind you and your man?" Ryan asked curious. They'd been fucking for a month and a half and the conversations were growing a little bit. Ryan liked her.

Gabrielle breathed in handing her a shirt. "We met when I was probably your age— how old are you?"

"21."

"Right so not your age. I was in my late twenties and so was he. We both had a lot of pressure from our families to be married and have kids and live that traditional kind of life. So we did it, we got married and we tried for kids. But then we found out that I couldn't have kids and he lost interest. I tried to leave him so he could be with someone else but he said he loved me, said I was his best friend so here we are about 12 years later."

"Why didn't yall just adopt or use a surrogate or something?" Ryan asked as she pulled the loose t shirt over her head.

Gabrielle scoffed at the world. "I don't think I ever really wanted kids honestly — I would have done it if I got pregnant and I would've loved those kids. But I didn't get pregnant, that felt like it had to be a sign or something," she put on her bonnet, deep in thought. "For him, I think he only wanted kids if they were with me. He loves me, just not in the traditional way he's supposed to. Besides, something felt a little bit wrong about buying a baby, adoption is a whole industry. I didn't want to buy into that."

Ryan hummed to herself. Getting pregnant was the type of thing she was terrified of happening. Right now she could be anyone she liked, she was on her own, she didn't have to worry about keeping someone else alive or not messing up another person.

Did she want kids one day? She really didn't know. But she didn't have to decide right this second. She probably wouldn't decide until she was much older. That was the blessing about being single as well. Whatever she wanted wouldn't affect someone else.

"He loves you but yall don't have sex?" Ryan asked just to check if her story stayed the same. She was starting to think about her sexual health a little bit. One of the questions on Beyoncé's survey was about that. It made her reflect on just how sensible she was being.

"Did I mention he's gay?"

"Oh..." Ryan blinked. Was this like a lavender marriage? She didn't know people still did that. "What about you? Are you a lesbian or what?" She asked as Gabrielle climbed into the bed lying beside her, Ryan on her back looking up at the plain ceiling above her.

Gabrielle sighed. She'd never admitted it really. Not to anyone, she'd always been too scared, "yeah..." she breathed. "I am."

"Cool," Ryan chuckled. "I still don't know what I am." She shrugged closing her eyes and taking in the night time. It was late, and it was dark, and she didn't start classes until 11 the next day. Her mind had nowhere to be anchored to so it drifted a lot.

Brooke was having a baby. The girl she'd met at orientation, who loved to party and saw food as a challenge. She was about to be a mother.

She'd assumed Brooke would want to get rid of the baby so she could continue to live her best college life. She loved going to parties and drinking and doing whatever she wanted. But apparently, she wanted to keep it and to be a mother.

Ryan couldn't wrap her brain around the fact that Brooke was the same person — so musical and good at cooking. Now she was about to add parenting to her list of skills. Ryan just couldn't picture it but Brooke was always surprising her.

And Zendaya was in a serious relationship — the girl who drank beer and followed life where it took her without any pushback. She was the calmest person she knew so it didn't surprise her that she was in a relationship. What did surprise her was how much Zendaya liked Chloe. You could see it on her, practically radiating from her pores. She loved that girl. It was like Chloe was made just for Zendaya.

Ryan sometimes wondered if it was too good to be true, but she wanted to believe in them. She wanted them to make it. Justine was the only one who didn't have something so drastic change in her life. She was relatively the same but she'd clearly grown up over the months. She'd started college as this girl who used to be homeschooled, shy and gentle and expecting kindness from the world.

The bullying, however, had brought her out of her shell. It had shocked her and since then nobody could tell her anything. She walked now, with her head held up high. Ryan loved to see it, she looked better with that confidence.

Was Ryan the only one who was still the same? Outside of a failed relationship with Beyoncé, nothing major had changed with her. She was still the same anxious girl, doing her best to get on with life. She felt inadequate sometimes compared to her peers.

But then Gabrielle was inching closer to her. "You okay?" Gabrielle asked softly, playing the movement off as just getting comfortable.

"Yeah just thinking," Ryan gave a non answer, closing her eyes and trying to fall asleep.

"Thinking about what?"

Ryan bit her lip debating on whether to tell Gabrielle the truth. She needed to tell someone who wasn't going to judge her and Gabby seemed to be as good a person as any. They weren't together so it wasn't like she couldn't say whatever she wanted.

So she told her how she felt, telling her about how she felt like she wasn't doing college right and how her life was almost the same and everyone else seemed to have moved on. She didn't know how she felt so comfortable to say all that to her but Gabby felt like a safe space. She could always leave.

She even found herself venting about how Beyoncé had hurt her. How their relationship never got a real chance and so now Ryan felt like she was going through a breakup but it was more about the fantasy of what could've been.

Gabby ran her fingers down Ryan's spine listening to her open up. It was strange how this worked out, both talking about their lives. Ryan didn't tell her too much of what had happened but she did tell her that she still had feelings for Beyoncé.

Gabby took a moment to respond. She was a little hurt because despite her best efforts, she actually felt like this could be something with Ryan. It was stupid, she knew, but Ryan was just so easy to like.

"You think she feels the same way?"

Ryan shrugged, "sometimes I think she loves me. Other times I think she just likes messing with me."

"Babygirl," Gabby sighed. "You deserve better than sometimes."

"I guess," Ryan shrugged. She did believe that which is why she was still so confused by Beyoncé's treatment. She was so intense when she cared, so deeply loving and attentive. Ryan didn't understand how she could go from being like that to just dropping her.

"You should let her know how you feel," Gabby said. "Then she can tell you straight up if she doesn't want you. You're holding onto this hope and it doesn't seem worth it to me."

Gabbys advice was a little self serving. If Ryan got back with her ex then she could stop holding onto hope too. If Beyoncé rejected Ryan then she could pursue her without anyone getting in her way.

Ryan nodded and eventually they both fell asleep. Ryan felt Gabby roll onto her side and press her body into her own. An arm draped over the younger one and she breathed softly against Ryan's neck.

Ryan didn't move and didn't say anything. She stayed still as the older one attached herself to her body, an arm gripping onto her chest, lips pressing into her shoulder. Gabby was nice, the type of woman she should like. Who cared if she was a little bit married?

And then she woke up with Gabbys face in between her thighs. She started with soft kisses on the inside of her legs, slowly pressing her lips into her skin and making Ryan open up. Ryan moaned, still half asleep as Gabby moved, pressing her tongue closer to her heat.

She wanted to be quick and to pull Ryan into her, to taste her unraveling but she had to take her time. She made long and slow licks inside of her thighs warming her up for when her tongue finally met her clit. She wanted to feel Ryan squirming on her face.

Ryan moaned softly, starting to wake up as she felt soft licks in between her legs. Gabby wanted to tell her how good she tasted, whisper it in her ear as she licked her up. But she was busy pulling her clit into her mouth waiting to hear those little soft moans Ryan made. Her tongue dipped inside of Ryan slowly savouring the flavour of her.

"Ohhh," Ryan moaned quietly from the sensation. She was awake now and looked down to see those eyes watching her, focused on making her drip all over her tongue. She flicked over her clit and Ryan spread her legs wider just for Gabrielle.

"Fuck just like that," she moaned, her hands gripping onto Gabbys head. The other woman's mouth was so soft, her saliva mingling with Ryan's juices. Gabby gripped her legs pushing them open as her tongue swirled quickly around Ryan's pussy.

"Feels so... oh please I'm close," she rolled her hips over the other one's mouth.

Gabrielle continued licking, sucking, swiping her tongue over and over again.

Ryan was clutching at the bedsheets and rolling her hips. She wanted to fall apart in Gabbys bed right now. Being woken up with head had to be her favourite thing in the world.

Gabby ran her tongue over her clit, once, twice. She continued to lick her juices up, slowly pushing her tongue back inside of her body. Gabrielle knew exactly where to press and Ryan gripped her hair moaning louder.

"Like that mama, oh fuck go deeper," Ryan moaned rolling her hips into the taller woman's mouth.

Gabby continued sucking, licking, ignoring what she'd just said. She wanted to make the younger one fall apart. Then she felt her pussy clench against her tongue and Ryans body twitched in pure pleasure.

Ryan's back arched off the bed and she kept going pressing her tongue even deeper. Ryan was so sexy, eyes closing as her juices coated Gabbys lips.

"Fuck," Ryan sighed, gathering herself. Her body was spent and twitching as Gabby finally pulled away. Ryan took a second to recover. Sex with her was always good.

"Let's get you some breakfast babygirl," Gabby said kissing her skin as she helped Ryan up. Ryan started to notice Gabby making more effort with her and trying to spend more time with her. She didn't think anything of it though, Gabby was married and this was mostly just sex.

She was taking Ryan to the same coffee shop she went to every morning. It was on the way to the airport. And she had time before work to get Ryan something to eat. Gabby tried to slip her hand into Ryan's but Ryan pulled away, fixing her outfit.

They walked in together, hearing the whir of coffee machines. The shop was one of those big ones, part of a chain with baristas and chefs in the back baking goods and making artisanal breakfasts. It smelled of coffee and spices like cinnamon. Ryan didn't think too much of it, trying to decide between a croissant and a sandwich.

But Beyoncé looked up the second she walked in. Her breathing stopped as Ryan approached the counter. She seemed to be with someone but Beyoncé couldn't see who it was. Her focus completely changed from her laptop to Ryan who looked flawless and effortlessly comfortable standing by the counter. She, however, probably looked as drained as she felt.

The person with Ryan spoke to the cashier then turned to Ryan who stepped forward and said something. And then the unknown woman slid out a card from her wallet and paid. Beyoncé blinked. Was this...? No? Her chest tightened and she found herself hiding behind her laptop screen and watching the two.

There was something in her eyes as she watched the scene in front of her. Something wet that she wiped away quickly before she continued to watch, hoping to catch a real glimpse of this woman.

Had Ryan really moved on already? It was a woman, about the same height as her, touching Ryan intermittently: a hand on her arm, fingers on her cheek. They could've been friends but she was touching her way too much. And Ryan wasn't moving her away. The younger one was still so gorgeous even as she focused on the croissant sandwich she was getting and Beyoncé hated, hated that she always looked so enticing. She still couldn't believe what she was seeing.

The two waited for the food and Gabrielle turned around. And then all hell broke loose in Beyoncé's mind. She looked at Ryan with so much hurt. It had barely been a month since her and Ryan were together and now she was parading through coffee shops with other women. Had she been doing this even when they were together? What if Beyoncé just didn't see it?

Beyoncé silently clenched her jaw. Was it her? The one who'd been fucking Ryan? She had to wonder if she was just another one on Ryan's hit list, this woman had to be around the same age as her. She woman was basically just a cheap knockoff version of Beyoncé.

She probably couldn't even... she was really pretty actually. Maybe even Beyoncé's type on a normal day. But that wasn't the point. What the fuck?

Gabrielle slid her hand into Ryan's, turning to her like she was about to kiss her. And then Beyoncé lost it.

"Seriously?" She spat, loud enough for the entire shop to hear and to look towards her wondering what had happened. The two jumped apart looking towards the source of the sound. She glared at Ryan, who caught her eyes for a moment and her heart lurched meeting Beyoncé's eyes. What the fuck was this?

The two stared at each other intensely for a moment, everyone else in the coffee shop going back to minding their business. Beyoncé's eyes shot daggers through Ryan but nobody else seemed to notice them, only lasting a brief second.

Ryan shrugged and turned to grab her coffee as she walked outside with Gabrielle on her arm. The older one wasnt blind though. She noticed Ryan tense up, the smile on her face fade and the way her eyes wouldn't leave the other woman's.

"Who was that?" She asked as they got outside and the younger one shrugged.

"Don't know," she replied, lying, and as usual it was obvious. Gabrielle left it alone though, tucking it away in the back of her mind. That lady meant something to Ryan. And Ryan was in a mood now as the two kissed goodbye, Gabbys hands on her lower back.

Beyoncé didn't know whether she wanted to attack the woman or to find Ryan and yell at her. Nobody knew how much this was affecting her too. How she was losing sleep. How she kept it together because she had to but when she was alone, it tore her up inside. Either way, her brain began to tick with a mixture of anger and hurt. Had she really meant so little to Ryan? She had to get out of this cafe.

"Ryan," she swallowed trying her best to keep her composure.

Ryan rolled her eyes looking up from her phone, "what?"

Beyoncé's jaw bunched. "You're fucking her?"

Ryan shrugged. That was none of her business.

"Seriously?" Beyoncé asked again. This time she looked at Ryan disgusted.

"What?" Ryan rolled her eyes.

"She's like double your age."

"And?"

"After you tried to tell me I had fucking issues?" Her nostrils flared. "She's got more than me, look at her," Beyoncé rolled her eyes dragging Ryan to her car.

Ryan frowned following. "Seriously Beyoncé? Grow up," she said getting into the car. She hadn't booked her Uber yet so why not let Beyoncé drive her.

"Forgive me for looking out for you."

"Is that what you're telling yourself this is?" Ryan asked.

Beyoncé turned the key and started to drive. "What else would it be?"

"Jealousy," Ryan said matter of factly. She wasn't doing this again. Beyoncé clearly had issues. And Ryan had enough of her messing around. She was so clearly jealous and, for once, Ryan didn't care.

Beyoncé scoffed. "You wish I was jealous."

"I really don't," Ryan made a face. Beyoncé had no right being possessive over her when Beyoncé had been the one to end things. It wasn't that hard to get over Beyoncé, even if deep down she wished that she didn't have to. "What I wish is that you'd leave me the fuck alone." It was too early for whatever this was. She had classes to go to and she couldn't keep getting distracted by that stupid psychiatrist who treated her like shit.

"Fine."

"Fine."

They drove in silence for the next 10 minutes, wavering through the large city streets. Until finally the car stopped.

"You're not dropping me to class?" Ryan asked.

Beyoncé looked at her, "I'm meeting my daughter, you can walk."

"But I'm the childish one?" Ryan rolled her eyes getting out. Beyoncé stood getting out too as Ryan walked around.

"No one called you childish, you're just fu—"

Ryan kissed her and Beyoncé fell into it. She knew Beyonce was jealous, knew she wanted her back and that knowing about Gabby was hurting Beyoncé's feelings. It was so clearly obvious and Beyoncé was in denial.

But Ryan didn't care. It was Beyoncé's turn to feel like shit.

Beyoncé moaned into the kiss, arms reaching out to Ryan, trying to pull her closer. She practically melted into Ryan, forgetting their argument, losing sight of her surroundings. Kissing Ryan felt so so good.

And then the younger one pulled away. "I'm going to class," she said turning to walk away.

Then Ryan heard the apartment door open and glanced back to see Brooke walking out, "see you later Brooke." She said and walked off towards her class.

Beyoncé looked at her wanting to say something, wanting to call her back, still feeling the kiss on her lips. She was still in shock from how easily Ryan had kissed her. Her lips probably still had Ryan's lip gloss on them.

"Bye," Brooke smiled before turning to her mother who was wiping her mouth. "Hey mom, I saw your car."

"H- hi," Beyoncé jumped. She was still caught up in Ryan who hadn't even looked back. She wiped her face quickly before trying to act normal. "How's my favourite daughter?" She asked trying to jump into mom mode.

Brooke gave her a hug before getting into the car Ryan had just been in. Then she frowned, "you gave her a lift?"

"Huh?"

"Car smells like Ryan," she could smell everything now. "Oh uh yeah, I saw her in the coffee shop earlier," Beyonce said swiping her left hand through her hair. That had been a really close call.

Brooke nodded, "she's so lucky she can't get pregnant."

"What?"

"She's been out like every day this week I swear. I don't know why she won't just say she has a girlfriend."

"She has a girlfriend?"

Brooks shrugged, "yeah some woman she keeps hanging out with. She seems nice though."

"You met her?" Beyoncé's eyes widened.

"Uh huh. We went out for drinks and she showed up halfway through and Ryan left with her."

"What's she like?" Beyoncé asked digging for information.

"Mom?"

Beyoncé's face flushed, "sorry I-"

"It's just funny that you care," Brooke shrugged. "She's nice though, she offered to drive us home cuz she thought we were all drinking but obviously," she gestured to her stomach.

Beyoncé nodded. What a bitch.

———————[A/N]Lol.

Thoughts? How y'all feel about jealous Beyoncé? Beyoncé seeing Gabby? That was mild tbh, she really could've caused a scene but she's not even jealous guys, she's literally never ever been jealous lmao

Thoughts on Beys convo with Chris? Her friendships? Michelle and Chris?

Thoughts on Ryan? Kissing Bey? Her relationship with Gabby? Gabbys taking more interest in Ryan?

Any predictions?

Lowkey some of you gotta work on how you ask for updates cuz every time I read something that sounds like a demand, it makes me wanna delete the entire fic. I'm not because most of you are polite with it but if you never comment and only comment to ask for updates I would rather you just not. Why would I update for someone I don't even know is reading? The comments help with the writing so thanks to everyone who comments regularly even if it's just an emoji that lets me know you're reading.

Anyways lemme try this poll thing. (I already know what the results should be but im curious lmfao)