Part 33

Ryan was spending more time with Gabrielle now. She didn't live too far so Ryan could go over after class whenever Gabrielle was free. It was always the same, late at night, Ryan would go to her place. They wouldn't waste much time, getting straight to it. And then they were both left shuddering on the bed trying to catch their breath.

They didn't talk much but Ryan learned that Gabrielle had been with her husband for 12 years, he traveled a lot and they didn't have any kids. It was nice to be around someone who took her mind off of Beyoncé.

Ryan usually had a problem with getting attached to people too easily, but this was just sex. It was simple. Sure they got on nicely but that was all it was. Besides, Gabrielle was married.

Her classes were pretty much the same. It was boring but she'd been much more focused on her studies lately. She'd really been slipping behind before and she wanted to fix that. She couldn't risk losing her scholarships.

She got home to see Brooklyn on the sofa and followed her usual routine of apologising and hoping Brooke would listen.

This time though, Brooke side eyed her before she actually replied. "Ryan you can't just say stuff like that. I know you have all that stuff with your parents and whatever but you can't just say stuff like that."

"Huh?"

"I'm just saying... My mom said you were probably making it up because you have your own issues with your parents and you're basically projecting so that's why you said that," Brooke said raising her left eyebrow and shrugging.

"She said that?" Ryan asked, a sudden heat building inside of her chest.

Brooke shrugged, "she's a psychiatrist so she picks up on stuff like that sometimes."

"Right," Ryan said biting her tongue. Maybe she had dodged a bullet with Beyoncé. It was one thing to lie about them sleeping together but that was a specifically fucked up thing for her to say.

But she was apologising to Brooklyn, who had nothing to do with her mother acting like that. So she took a deep breath and apologised again. "Anyways I just wanted to apologise for saying that, I was drinking but that's not an excuse so I'm sorry," Ryan said still standing by the door ready to leave.

"I'm sorry too," Brooklyn swallowed. "I was being kind of mean to you."

"Kind of?" Ryan raised her brows waiting for her to say more.

"Fine I was being a bitch."

Ryan smirked. "It's alright Brooke, I'm honestly over it. Plus you seem better now, so that's good."

"Yeah I feel better," she gestured for Ryan to take a seat and she did, letting the relationship shift back to normal. Brooklyn took a breath and then spoke, deciding to finally tell someone else, "I um... I'm pregnant Ry."

Ryan's mouth opened. "Shit..." she breathed. "You want me to come with— uh are you keeping it?"

Brooklyn nodded, "you don't think I should?"

"It's not that. It's just kind of a big deal like you're not really gonna have a life anymore. I mean do you even know how to change a diaper?"

"I can learn," Brooke said rubbing her stomach.

"Sure but it's so much to learn. It's more than just diapers and barely sleeping. There's the whole childbirth part and the next 18 years. And what are you gonna do about school?"

Brooke sighed, "I dont know I was thinking of taking a year off or transferring maybe. I could move somewhere nearer to my mom."

Ryan shrugged thinking, yeah make her take care of two kids. But that was Beyoncé's problem. "You told her?"

"Uh huh. I don't think she wants me to keep it but she said she'll support me."

"My mom would've cussed me out and dragged me to the clinic. I would've dragged myself to the clinic," she laughed. "But I support you too friend if that's what you wanna do."

Brooklyn leaned back. Why did everyone think she should abort her baby?

Some days later, Beyoncé called Brooklyn to ask about how things were going and where she was up to with telling people. "Have you told anyone yet? Apart from your dad..." Beyoncé swallowed. Shawn had showed up again, banging on the door and demanding to be let in.

She didn't let him in but she heard everything he'd said, how she was a bad mom, how Brooke was only pregnant because her mom was a slut just like her, how she was the reason why his only daughter was acting up. He'd said the kind of things that had cut her from the inside out and tapped into her biggest insecurities. He made her feel completely worthless.

She cried that night too, her body slumped up against the door. She didn't know why she let him get to her so much but he did. He made her feel so small and disgusting. He'd always had that kind of power over her, but it was so much worse now when he wanted to hurt her.

"I told the girls last week — well I told Ryan first. We had a little heart to heart. And then Justine said I've been eating a lot and so I just told the rest of them. It was getting stressful trying to hide it so much," Brooke shrugged. She still hid it around campus though, wearing oversized clothes since she wasn't really showing that much.

"Finally, how did that go?"

"They were really great mom, they understood about not telling anyone and Ryan offered to go to my appointments with me."

"Y'all are friends again?" Beyoncé asked trying to hide the true extent of her curiosity. Brooke had told her she wasn't talking to Ryan ever again but now everything was fine?

"Yeah," Brooke breathed feeling a little bit guilty. "Ryan was actually really nice to me that whole time. I was being a little bit mean honestly, I think I just kept pushing her and she had enough."

"She was?"

"Yeah, she ordered me food and forced me to eat sometimes when I kept skipping meals. I think she thought I was depressed. And she kept making me join in when they were playing games or whatever. Everyone else just left me alone but she was really patient and made sure I knew she was there..." she sighed. "Thats probably why I was pushing her away so much. She was a really good friend."

Beyoncé breathed in through her nose. She had no idea Brooke hadn't been eating. That explained the baby being underweight. She definitely didn't know Ryan had been helping her out so much. Something tugged in her heart but she pushed it away.

She still felt guilty about the way she'd spoken about Ryan. It played on her mind in a loop. She'd been unnecessarily cruel. She really hoped Ryan would never find out exactly what she'd said about her.

"And how about your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

Beyoncé raised a brow, "then what is he?"

"He's just..." she swallowed. "Mom I don't wanna talk about it."

"I understand that Brooke but you have to tell him if you're having his baby."

"Mom we're not even together."

Beyoncé rolled her eyes, she'd had enough of this, "Brooke, do you even know who it is? I've been trying to think of ways to ask nicely but that's the only reason I can think of as to why you won't tell him."

Brooke looked at her through the screen, hurt shimmering in her eyes. She couldn't believe that's what her mother thought of her. Her own mother. "I know who it is mom," she sighed softly.

"So why won't you tell him? At least give him a chance to be there."

"It's not that I don't think he'll be there...." She breathed. "He will be, I know he will," a tear slipped from her eyes. "I just don't want to ruin his life."

"Brooklyn what are you talking about?"

"Mom he's good. He's such a nice guy. He's nice and he's patient and he has a future, a real one. He's really smart and he actually liked me. Me? I'm not smart like he is, I don't even like the same nerdy stuff as him. I'm selfish and I wish I wasn't but I am, probably because you and dad spoiled me so much. But I'm trying not to be selfish with this, I can't be selfish with this."

"Brooke, if he's as great as you say he is then he should know? I don't understand why you won't just tell him."

"I don't want to keep being selfish and depending on other people so much. Even you do too much for me," she sniffled, her eyes watery.

"You know, it's okay to depend on people. It's actually what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to depend on each other. Everybody's not good at everything. It's not selfish to ask for help."

"But I don't even like him like that."

"So what? You're having a child together, lots of people coparent."

"I can't keep breaking his heart like this mom. He's a good person," she replied.

"You'll break it more if you keep this from him." Beyoncé said with the certainty of a woman who knew better. She'd seen this play out with her little sister, and now her son was mad at her for keeping a father from him for all these years. "When was the last time you spoke to your cousin Julez?"

Brooke shrugged, they used to be close but now they only caught up at family gatherings.

"You should talk to him, ask about his dad."

"He has a dad?" Brooklyn frowned.

"Mhm," Beyoncé raised a brow. She wished people would just listen to her in the first place when she told them things. "Your child is gonna be a person too, one day they're going to be an adult like you. You have to think about their best interests, not just your own."

Brooke exhaled. "Okay mom I'll talk to him." She tucked her lips.

"Thank you," Beyoncé nodded. She didn't know why it had to take this long but at least they got there in the end. "You'll let me know how it goes?"

"Yes mom," she rolled her eyes sarcastically. "I just need to figure out how to say, "I don't want you but we're having a baby together.""

Beyoncé cringed, "good luck with that but I'll be there if you need me." Beyoncé had a good feeling about this. At least she knew who it was. She was really worried for a second there.

Brooke was just glad it was Levi and not the other guy she'd been sleeping with before him. He was the very definition of trash. She knew that the very moment she spread her legs and let him in. But she still did it. He made her feel good in a way that Levi couldn't.

Where Levi had asked for permission, he had took it. Levi had fumbled for a condom, he'd cum too fast. He was nice to her. He was gentle and kind with her body, excited to touch her. She wasn't used to guys being that nice to her which was probably why she'd let him in so easily. Probably why she didn't mind carrying his baby.

Beyoncé felt ridiculous but later that night she found herself scrolling through her phone and trying to figure out how to unblock Ryan. She ended up googling it. It wasn't like she was going to talk to her or anything. But Shawn was the only person she had blocked and she didn't really want to block anyone else.

Besides, all that talk about people and relationships had made her think of Ryan again. Ryan was so beautiful, and when she wasn't breaking her trust, she was perfect. Beyoncé missed her scent, her voice, the way she moved and carried herself.

At first she was angry, but now she was just sad. She missed Ryan so much. More than she'd ever missed an ex before and Ryan wasn't even really an ex. Her heart tugged again, but it was important for her to move on. She had to think of Brooke and her future grand baby, what would they think of her? She couldn't be with Ryan even if she wanted to. She should just be alone again. Relationships clearly weren't her strong suit.

Beyoncé couldn't cancel the study meeting for a third time. So she'd showed up to the university, getting a flight the night before and making plans with Brooke for the evening after her classes. She didn't want to be there any longer than she had to be so she was getting the last flight that night.

This time, Beyoncé walked into the class, her chest feeling tight and her mind elsewhere. With any luck, Ryan wouldn't show up. She'd managed to skip this for two months, but now she had to show up for the reviews. It felt so much worse knowing that it had been so long since she'd seen Ryan. How had she gone this long without seeing her? Her entire body was missing her. But she knew how stupid that was so she tried to shove the thoughts aside.

The class began to fill up and Beyoncé felt antsy, hoping Ryan wouldn't show up. She was usually the first but that was because Beyoncé usually drove her. And wishes don't make reality so sure enough at exactly 9:00, Ryan walked through those doors, both nervous and excited to see Dr Knowles again.

Beyoncé's breath hitched at the sight. She was exactly as beautiful as she always was. So beautiful that Beyoncé's heart stopped for a second just to watch her get seated in the classroom. So beautiful that Beyoncé wished she was ugly so she didn't get so easily lost inside of her, so she could reconcile the fact that they could never talk again.

"Good morning everyone, thanks for coming. I'm sorry I had to cancel the last two sessions, I've been a little under the weather," Beyoncé finally looked away from Ryan's beauty and those eyes that told stories — stories of pain and betrayal and promises to make it up to each other. She avoided entirely the space where Ryan sat, her eyes completely directed to the other half of the classroom.

Grateful she had a script, she continued to talk. It was the six month check in so she'd have to do the same interviews again at some point soon. But she could barely focus with Ryan so close her. How was she supposed to focus in a confined room with the same woman who she hadn't seen in over a month, but who had filled her dreams every night since?

And Ryan looked just fine. Like this wasn't bothering her at all. Beyoncé was struggling with everything but Ryan was just fine. She was sure that the "other one" had been near her and she hated how sick that made her feel. The idea of someone else touching Ryan made her skin crawl.

Other people could look but to think someone else had touched her, had been inside of her, making her moan, tasting her. Ryan was hers — or maybe not. Not anymore. She had to remind herself.

None of this was even her business anymore. But she couldn't help how sick it made it her to think of Ryan getting wet that way for someone else. The idea of Ryan's body pressed up against someone else's was driving her crazy.

She grit her teeth trying to make it through the presentation and not think any of the thoughts that she was having. Beyoncé felt so jealous thinking about it. She knew she shouldn't care because they were over. But she cared as much as she tried not to.

She tried her best to think of something else, anything else. Tried not to think of Ryan's face when she came, the way those coffee brown eyes would roll back and her breathing would stop momentarily. She always looked so pure. Had someone else made her feel like that? Had she let someone else see that part of her?

Did Ryan call someone else the same names she called Beyoncé when she was fucking her? The blonde wasn't even speaking anymore, her whole mouth dry as images flashed through her mind.

"I— my apologies. I'm going to push the reviews back to next month in order to get some more reliable data." She panicked. She had to get out of there. Jealousy was eating her alive and it wasn't normal or healthy.

"If you could just fill in the questionnaires," Beyoncé said, doing the absolute bare minimum that she could. If she could've left that classroom right then she would've. She needed to splash cold water over herself. This wasn't healthy. She didn't know if she wanted to cry or to fight, and her body just wanted sex.

When she finally left, there was a deep ache in her chest. It felt like her rib cage was being torn apart and exposing her heart.

I hate this, she thought. She couldn't think anything else. The only thing on her mind was how much Ryan had messed everything up. It wasn't enough to say what she'd said to her kid, now Ryan was in her face glowing.

Beyoncé left the building as soon as she could, getting into her car and driving. She couldn't bring herself to waste time sitting around thinking of Ryan.

But then Ryan was at her hotel door.

"Why are you here?" Beyoncé asked swinging open the door. She tried to ignore how good Ryan looked. The fact she couldn't see much skin, the fact she wanted to see more.

"I just want to talk" Ryan's eyes looked dewy, almost doe-like as she asked to be heard.

Beyoncé groaned, "your whole problem is talking, you talk too much Ryan." She threw her bag down as Ryan walked in behind her.

Ryan tucked in her lips. "I'm sorry, I just... how can I make it up to you?"

"Make it up to me? That's not possible Ryan," Beyoncé scoffed, "I cant trust you anymore. You know what that means?"

"I know, I'm sorry, I never wan—"

"Don't be. I should've known better than to deal with someone who clearly has issues."

Ryan frowned suddenly. "That's what you told Brooke? I have mommy issues so I made the whole thing up. What about your issues Beyoncé?"

"I don't have any iss—"

"Oh yeah? That's why you were fucking me in a bathroom a few feet away from your kid," Ryans thick brows knitted together. No way Beyoncé thought she was the only one with problems.

"I..." Beyoncé's mouth went dry at that. She didn't think Ryan would even know that she'd said that and now she was accusing Beyoncé of having issues. "Okay so I shouldn't have done that b—"

"But you did. And then you kept pursuing me, I tried to leave you alone but you wouldn't let me. You kept pushing, kept trying to get me. If I have mommy issues you clearly have something too."

"No I just liked—"

"You fucked me right after a panic attack, Beyoncé."

"That was a mistake," Beyoncé bit the inside of her lip.

"So was me talking to Brooke like that," Ryan sighed. "But I'm the bad guy because I didn't want to keep lying."

"It's not the lying Ryan. It's the way you said it. And you know I didn't mean what I said to Brooke. I was just..."

"Just what?"

"Just mad at you for what you said to her. Why would you say that? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you?" Ryan breathed. They were close to yelling now. Ryan took a step forward.

"Now I can't tell her. You ruined that. You messed it all up."

"You literally could."

"She'll never forgive me."

Ryan rolled her eyes. "Well I'm sorry Beyoncé. That's what I wanted to say. That's what I came here to say," she tried to express herself but she didn't really know how. She'd apologised but Beyoncé was acting like it had to change things between them when it didn't. She hadn't done anything but told Brooke the truth. And Brooke was over it now, Beyoncé could get over it too.

"What can I do with sorry Ryan?" She swallowed trying not to notice the shimmer in Ryan's eyes, and how her lips looked so plump right now.

"I won't do it again."

"I know you won't because we won't be doing this again."

"I just..."

"Stop talking," Beyoncé pushed her up against the wall. Ryan needed to shut up. Beyoncé desperately searched her eyes for a sign. She felt so many things that she didn't want to feel. They were inches away from their lips meeting now.

She was stuck and she couldn't do this. She couldn't be near Ryan right now. She didn't trust herself.

But Ryan took her chances and pressed her lips forward, gripping Beyoncé's lips in the warmth of her mouth. They both closed their eyes softly taken aback by the passion in the kiss. It was like they'd been kissing forever and never stopped.

Ryan's tongue coaxed Beyoncé into taking over and soon Beyoncé's tongue was on the inside of her mouth. Ryan sucked against her tongue. She'd missed this feeling of Beyoncé, and her mouth pressed into hers. She was such a good kisser. So intense and ubiquitous, bringing her whole body in.

The blonde one let her teeth graze over Ryan's mouth, tugging her bottom lip harshly as she moved from her lips to her neck. "Mmm," Ryan moaned softly. She'd missed this, missed how the older one touched her.

Beyoncé bit down and Ryan hissed in pain. A soothing pain because then Beyoncé was sucking the painful spot into her mouth and Ryan could just see her eyelashes fluttering as she stroked her skin into her lips. Beyoncé alternated between biting and sucking, knowing it would hurt, knowing Ryan would take the pain. And Ryan did just that, offering herself up to Beyoncé.

"Oh—," her breath hitched and her neck tilted to give Beyoncé a better angle. The older one let her teeth sink in to the skin so hard that Ryan wasn't sure if her blood was now spilling into Beyoncé's warm mouth.

"Ohhhh fuck," Ryan moaned as those lips pressed together over her skin, sucking gently, letting her tongue explore: harsh enough to soothe, soft enough to leave a mark.

It was like she couldn't hurt her without also healing her. And Ryan moaned with her own apology."Kiss me again," she whispered, her breathing ragged and pained as Beyoncés tongue ran over her neck.

And Beyoncé couldn't stop herself once she had started to taste the younger girl. Sweat formed on the darker skin and Beyoncé's mouth was eager to catch it. She kissed all over Ryan's body, her mouth searching for something to ease the pain. She hadn't stopped thinking about Ryan in the past two months. She was so mad at her, so confused, so in deep as she searched for her only escape inside of her.

And then Beyoncé tossed her onto the bed, threw her as if she weighed nothing, like she was just a doll to be thrown around. Ryan bounced onto the mattress, before Beyoncé was instantly on top of her ripping off her clothes quickly, desperate to get her naked.

"Mama—"

"Shut up," Beyoncé tugged off her sweats. She didn't want to hear anything from her, just wanted to make her feel, wanted to hurt her, wanted to be close, wanted to make her moan.

"Bey I'm s—"

"Shut up," Beyoncé said and this time Ryan felt a sting across her legs.

She hissed in response and Beyoncé shushed her. And then she pushed her hand into Ryan's mouth. All four fingers filling her lips easily.

Ryan dutifully accepted them, hoping she was wrong about Beyoncé's plans. Either way she'd take it. She'd take anything from her, especially right now when she felt so weak to Beyoncé's touch. Her tongue darted out over the smooth acrylics. She had nails this time, not sharp but not so blunt. Ryan could feel them, could taste how they would hurt her.

She wanted it. She wasn't just accepting her fate, she was begging Beyoncé to hurt her a little. Anything was better than being ignored.

The younger one stopped herself from moaning. It felt so good to have Beyoncé close again. And then Beyoncé's tongue ran over her lips causing Ryan to lean up for another kiss when she pulled back.

Beyonce couldn't help but give her what she wanted. Her lips pressed back into Ryan's, rubbing, stroking against her soft flesh. She needed this. She wanted her so badly it almost hurt. Her fingers trailed down Ryan's skin, caressing it, and softly stroking over her. But then she pulled away.

"Ryan?" Beyoncé asked, frustration and desire meeting somewhere in her body. Beyoncé didn't know what exactly she was asking. Why had Ryan said that to Brooke? Or why had Ryan had sex with someone else? The more she touched Ryan the more she knew it was true.

She could smell it on her, could sense it. It was just a feeling — her intuition.

"I—"

"Don't," Beyoncé pressed her warm cheek up against Ryan's kissing the shell of her ear softly as she swiped a finger up through Ryan's slit. The smaller one moaned and it felt so good.

"Please Beyoncé-"

"Stop talking," Beyoncé grit her teeth again, now moving to the rest of Ryan's open body. Her fingers pressed against Ryan's entrance. All four of them feeling Ryan open up, her knees bent and legs pushing back.

She waited a couple seconds before plunged her hand into Ryan — four fingers filling her up all at once.

Ryans body tensed up in response. It wasn't pain. It was discomfort as she adjusted to the feeling. Beyoncé didn't move for a second, just watched her still angry. Still waiting to feel something from Ryan.

Then Ryan let out a heavy groan, her eyes rolling back as she did. But she didn't say anything, just let the tears fall as Beyoncé started to move her hand slowly.

Then she looked at Ryan lying flat beneath her, looking up as she pushed in deeper. Ryan let out a cry of pain.

Beyoncé's hand stilled. Maybe she shouldn't be doing this—

"More. Please," Ryan's whimper cut through her thoughts. The inside of her spongey and wet against Beyoncés fingers. Ryan was needy and Beyoncé was giving.

She started to thrust semi slowly, curling her fingers up letting her thumb pressed over her clit. "You like having my fingers inside of you?"

Ryan nodded. "Yes," Beyoncé made her feel so many things.

"I fuck you better than her?"

How did she know that?

"Y-yes so much better," Ryan admitted as she felt Beyoncé's fingers stroke against her spot. "Feels so good." She moaned.

"This pussy belongs to me?"

Ryan nodded clawing at the woman on top of her. "It's yours mama," Ryan could hear how wet she was and Beyoncé kept thrusting, skin slapping against skin.

"You let her fuck you like this?"

"N-no," Ryans eyelids slipped closed, her last image being of Beyoncé on top of her, so beautiful, so angry.

"Don't lie," Beyoncé gripped her face, waiting for her eyes to reopen.

"I'm not," she moaned, eyes fluttering back. "Ffffuck please."

"Please what?"

Ryan looked into her eyes. "Please don't stop," she hissed sharply. Her legs rocked against Beyoncé. "Please mama," she groaned. "Don't stop."

Beyoncé felt Ryan's legs tremble against her hand. Ryan was about to cum and Beyoncé couldn't help but push in harder as she kissed over those lips that couldn't kiss back.

"Fuck Ry, you were supposed to listen to me," she thrust again hitting exactly her spot, feeling liquid trickle over her fingers.

"I- s-sorry," Ryan moaned, her pussy stretching as Beyoncé filled her up again and again. Her fingers tapped her clit and Ryans body arched into her. "Fuckkk."

"God Ryan why didn't you just fucking listen," she pushed her fingers in again, rolling Ryan's clit with her thumb.

"I'm s—" the younger one was panting now, nails digging sharply into Beyoncé. "F-fuckkk."

"Shhh honey...," Beyoncé continued fucking her, the sounds filling up the room, and Ryan's panting got louder.

She never wanted this to end. Beyoncé taking out her frustration on her felt so fucking good.

"O-oh god uhhh," Ryan came shaking, her muscles clenching against Beyoncé's hand.

"You're so damn beautiful," Beyoncé said into her ear. And then her fingers slipped out and Ryan was inching her hands into Beyoncé's clothes. She needed her naked, needed that skin to skin, needed Beyoncé to feel what she felt right now.

"Ry..." Beyoncé breathed feeling the younger one tugging at her clothes, unbuttoning her pants, unclasping her bra, getting her naked.

"Ryan..." she breathed as the younger one guided her to lie down on the bed, ignoring the ache between her own legs. Ryan was in pain but she wanted this so much.

Beyoncé lay back, letting her legs be spread as Ryan settled her face between them.

"Ryan—"

"Shh mama let me please you."

Beyoncé gulped, looking down as Ryan's lips attached to her. She needed Beyoncé in this moment, needed her to know that she needed her. She'd give her head in a public square if she had to.

"Oh god...." Beyoncé's loosened her arms and reached for Ryan's hair, stroking through her scalp. She was right where she needed her, her tongue licking up her juices.

Beyoncé groaned and held her in place. Deeper. Ryan's tongue surged forward then she pulled away.

"You taste so good mama," Ryan moaned. Then she pressed her lips and tongue even deeper inside of Beyoncé.

"Yeah?" Beyoncé asked as Ryan hummed against her. "Oh god baby," she bit her lip, rolling her hips into Ryan's mouth.

Ryan didn't stop, she wanted her even more. Wanted to make her unravel beneath her. So she kept licking, hearing Beyoncé's quiet moans.

"Oh keep going h..." Beyoncé's body twitched and she was gripping Ryan's face and thrusting. Her pussy was being devoured in the best way.

Ryan was eating like her life depended on it, making Beyoncé hold her legs open as her tongue flicked over her skin. "Just like that," Beyoncé moaned, feeling Ryan's tongue press into her whole body.

Ryan did as told, pushing her tongue even further into Beyoncé. She was messy, sloppy, spreading those juices all over her.

"I'm gonna cum," she moaned out and her breathing changed. "Shit... oh fuck Ryan," Beyoncé's eyes rolled back as she twitched against Ryan's tongue. Then she let out a long moan and crumpled into the bed, pushing Ryan away from her legs.

Immediately, Ryan climbed up on top of her spreading her legs out so that they could be skin to skin.

"Oh god," Beyoncé groaned feeling Ryan press her legs between hers. Both of them were so turned on as their clits touched and stroked each other.

Ryan rolled her hips on Beyoncé as the older one reignited a fire inside of her. "Fuck you're so wet," the wetness from Beyoncé rubbed inside of her and she wanted more. Her clit jumped as Beyoncé's clit pressed into her firmly.

They both needed this and they were both finally getting it.

"Fuck," Beyoncé reached up a hand slowly running it up along Ryan's body. She was the prettiest woman she'd ever seen. The sexiest person she'd ever been touched by.

Beyoncé loved it and hated it at the same time, trailing her hand up towards Ryan's neck. Ryan moaned, her eyes lowering when Beyoncé applied the tiniest amount of pressure.

Her pussy shuddered as Beyoncés clit rubbed against her quickly. They were both moaning and rolling their hips, fucking each other, watching the other ones pleasure.

"Harder," Ryan moaned and Beyoncé knew she liked it because her breathing got shallow and her eyes rolled up. The grip on Ryan's neck tightened and in that moment Ryan felt her vulnerability. She didn't know if that was freeing or imprisoning but she knew that it made her pussy wetter.

"Am I doing a good job for you mama?" She asked, clit throbbing into Beyoncé.

The blonde ones teeth dug into her lips and she nodded, panting her approval. "So good baby, just like that."

Ryan rolled her hips, breathing shallow as their clits kissed each other.

"You look so beautiful like this, keep fucking me baby. Don't stop," Beyoncé moaned and Ryan did as told, getting Beyoncé closer and closer to orgasm.

"Don't stop pretty girl," she moaned out again. She hadn't been touched properly in so long. Ryan knew exactly how to align their bodies, so they could feel each other's wetness and their clits would slip and slide with the right amount of friction.

"I won't stop," Ryan moaned, voice thin, pressing her body into her harder. The pressure on both of them was sending ripples through the other, bodies sliding over each other, clits throbbing. Fucking each other.

"Oh god baby," she moaned out.

"Uh huh," Ryan arched her back a little. Beyoncé squeezed and they both trembled into each other. "Harder," she moaned and Beyoncé's grip tightened.

Ryan's body moved faster.

"Just like that baby. You're gonna make me cum."

Beyoncé didn't realise but Ryan grew lightheaded, gasping for breath as she rolled her pussy over Beyoncé's. Her eyes closed slowly and she moaned out begging.

Ryan was determined to make Beyoncé cum, she didn't even realise how close she was herself. The older one liked this feeling, Ryan's neck between her hand as her pussy dripped onto her. Ryan was slick with wetness, the hard nub of her clit stroking into her.

"Shit shit shit," Beyoncé moaned out, letting go as Ryan silently came too. She was seconds away from passing out as her body twitched on top of Beyoncé.

Then they both collapsed onto the bed.

Beyonce wrapped her arms around Ryan. The darker girl had tears in her eyes as Beyoncé kissed along her skin. She'd missed her so much.

Beyoncé breathed in Ryan's skin beside her. She smelled just like she always did, that faint fruity conditioner and the soft herbal perfume on her skin. Beyoncé licked the sweat on her bruising neck. It was the taste of Ryan that she'd missed the most. The way her body produced liquids that complimented her tongue.

Beyoncé couldn't help but suck her skin between her lips. Ryan whimpered, that sweet sound that made her desperate for more. It was like the sweetest music to her. It made her almost quiver with hope.

"I wish you had a strap..." Ryan said glancing over.

Beyoncé looked at her, raised a brow and shrugged. She wanted to do this with her own body. No barrier. No separation. Just Ryan and her.

Kissing her way over Ryan's bruises, Beyoncé swallowed realising what she'd done. "Did I hurt you?" She asked.

Ryan shook her head. She was in a lot of pain. There were so many marks on her skin, her whole vagina was a little sore. "I'm fine," she breathed. It didn't hurt so much.

The older one pushed out a breath, "I shouldn't have hurt you." She bit the inside of her lip. The way she felt was making her crazy. And now guilt wrapped itself around her neck.

"It's okay," Ryan rolled over to face her. Usually this would've been the moment she slept but she had a lot of apologising to do.

She looked into those golden pools of eyes. "I'm sorry," she said and Beyoncé swallowed, eyelids fluttering.

"Ryan I know," she placed a hand under her chin, stroking the pad of her thumb over her face. Ryan was so beautiful, her heart tugged at her.

"It was just so hard every day to have to hide everything. I know it's not an excuse but—"

"Shhh," Beyoncé pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

"No I need to say it." Beyoncé's eyes closed again, "It was so hard to hear the woman that you're—"

"I know honey, shhh just go to sleep," Beyoncé said again trying to get her to be quiet.

"No I just— I like you so much and it was like you would just deny me at every chance you got and then—"

"Ryan..." Beyoncé swallowed. "I— this can't happen again," she admitted.

"But..."

"I'm sorry. It just can't."

Ryan's eyes drained of all their hope as she searched Beyoncé's eyes. She knew Beyoncé, knew her body, knew the way she moved, when she was being serious, her body language said it all.

Beyoncé sighed. "I just... you couldn't have picked a worse time to say something like that. I just— I'm sorry."

Ryan rolled over, her body aching with the same pain. She didn't want to cry again but the tears were there. "I'm gonna — I'll go..." she breathed, not letting herself cry. Beyoncé wasn't even hurting her on purpose this time.

"Ryan you don't h—" Beyoncé grabbed her arm.

"No it's fine—"

Ryan pulled away. She felt like her insides had been pulled out and spilled onto the ground. She'd never felt so discarded before. She'd let Beyoncé do all that, treat her like that for nothing. And it felt good, it felt so good, but why couldn't they be together for real? Why couldn't she be good enough?

Beyoncé sighed. She was supposed to be meeting up with Brooke anyway.

—————————[A/N]Extra long chapter. Give me thoughts? How are yall feeling after that? Why do you think Beyoncé doesn't want her back? Did Ryan really forgive her for what she said? How are both of them feeling? Are yall still mad at Bey?

Brooke and Ryan made up! Any thoughts on that and their little conversation? Y'all finally know who the baby daddy is (and so does Brooke, I know yall thought she didn't)

Thoughts on Ryan and Gabby? Thoughts on Shawn? Any predictions?