Smg4 Fanfiction: Crystal Splezter - Doomsday, but Mario's okay

Plot: Forced into a bomb shelter while Swag and Chris try to Nuke Zero's USB, it's clear that confined space isn't good for this group of friends...

(August 21st - 2021)

To say that the life of the Smg4 gang was crazy was an understatement.

To say that anyone thought it would get to this level is downright insane!

Barley a month After Meggy came back and after a strange incident that injured Axol, the news of Meggy's and Tari's engagement was overshadowed by Mario and Smg4's announcement that Zero had returned.

His USB hovered ominously above the castle, forcing everyone to evacuate somewhere safe.

The news was broadcasting the story to the whole kingdom, the military gathering around the castle with their weapons trained on Zero's USB.

Swag however, was having a bit too much fun...

Swag (Clapping):  Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

Behind him, Chris was dragging a nuke up to the castle. The plan was to blow up the capsule and hopefully take Zero's USB with it.

Chris: Swag...a little help...

An excited swag continued to be excited as he easily picked up the nuke and placed it on the castle bridge.

From afar, Smg4 watched with a pair of binoculars and walked over to a nearby tree...

Smg4: Yo! Open up!

Which moved and revealed a secret hatch underneath the tree. Hopping in, the others had all been huddled down their for their safety.

Of course, it was hard to not realise Axol sitting in the corner, his head darting to side to side in some kind of panic. The others had deducted he'd been traumatised by Zero or was simply claustrophobic.

Smg4: Okay everyone, it's in position.

Boopkins: Aw man, what if this doesn't work?

Bob: Then we would've nuked peach's castle for nothing!

Mario: (Dons shades) Sounds like another day in the mushroom kingdom.

Meggy: I can't believe I've been gone for a few months and now we're under threat from an alien spaceship in the sky.

Tari: It's okay Meggy, there's nothing you could've changed.

Smg4: Alright guys, Listen up! We all know why we're here. They're gonna throw all they got at Smg0's USB. Whatever happens, keep our Avatar safe!

Mario waved stupidly.

...

Back at the castle, the nuke had been prepped and Swag and Chris had holed themselves into a nuclear bunker.

Chris: Okay swag! Everything is in position.

Swag held the button in his hand, ready to activate as the Smg4 gang waited for the ground quaking explosion.

Chris: Fire the nuke in 3...2...1...Fire in the hole!!

Swag smashed his hand down on the button...but nothing happened...

Swag: What?

Confused, Swag hit the button again. Angered, he started mashing the button to make it work.

Swag: Blow up you big baloney!!

...

Back in the bunker, things were deteriorating...

Desti: Smg4, I'm no expert on nukes, but shouldn't their be a Big Bang by now?

Smg4: They're probably just...clearing the area? Let's give them more time.

5 hours later...

Everyone looked like they'd been rendered to skeletons after waiting for so long.

Bob: Screw this! I'm out of here, I've got hoes waiting for me!

Bob went to walk out the door, but Smg4 blocked him.

Smg4: I can't let you do that Bob.

Bob: Bro, get out of my way!

Smg4: No one's going anywhere until that bomb goes off.

Smg4 shot him a glare as Bob used his red angry eyes.

Bob: You've made a very powerful enemy today...

Behind them, Crystal had a rumbling stomach as she whined.

Crystal: Mommy, I'm hungry!

Meggy: Oh, I'm sorry Crystal. You think you can hang on a few minutes?

Crystal: M-maybe...

Mario (Whining):  Aww, Mario hungry tooooooooo!

Meggy: (Sigh) Alright, I'll see if I can find something!

Meggy gave Crystal to Tari as she went to look around. In pursuit of food as well, Mario Backwards Long Jumped back into the fridge. His hope was crushed as he found nothing in side while Meggy found a can.

Meggy: Ooh, Ramen!

But then, she checked the label...

Meggy: Vegetable flavour?! We're doomed!!!!!

She threw the can backwards, hitting the wall near Desti as she took the can.

Desti: Sweet, free food.

Saiko: Oi, Smg4, I thought you brought food!

Smg4: What? I told you all to pack your own food!

Smg4 couldn't argue anymore as he had to pull Bob back from running out the door. Ever the dramatic, Mario pulled a hospital bed from nowhere and lied down on it.

Mario: Looks like this is the end of Mario...

Off to the side, Boopkins was acting very suspicious. Making sure no one was watching, he drew a chocolate bar to eat.

But like a matrix for food, Mario sensed it and appeared right behind the spike. He tackled Boopkins to the ground and took the chocolate bar from Him, but immediately had it taken away by Meggy.

Meggy: Mario! We don't steal from others!

Mario (In Aang uniform): Meggy! As your Avatar, I demand you gimme that chocolate!

Meggy: Mario, I have a child that is actually starving!

Mario: No one can be more hungry then me!

Meggy was tackled by Mario. The two rolled on the floor as the other girls just watched on with confusion, Desti just eating the noodles and watching the choas.

Finally, Saiko lost her temper.

Saiko: That's it!! Time out!

Annoyed, Saiko grabbed them both and hoisted them up.

Saiko: I expected this from Mario, but come on Meggy!

Meggy: Hey, even moms have their moments!

Saiko put Mario and Meggy on opposite sides of the room, both curling up into balls as they looked away from each-other like children.

Saiko: This is staying with me until you..both behave!

Meggy: But Crystal-

Saiko: NO TALKING IN TIME OUT!!!

Meggy relented. Grabbing a newspaper, Saiko put the chocolate on a table and put her feet on it as she sat in a chair. Boopkins just looked saddened.

Boopkins: But that's my chocolate! Aww man...guess I'm gonna go cry...

Saddened, Boopkins went over to the nearby toilet to have a good cry...

But when he opened the door, he was met with a strange sight. Axol sitting curled up on the toilet, eerily turning his head towards him.

Axol?: OH. HEY THERE BOOPKINS...

After being met with a giant grin from the axolotl, Boopkins slammed the door shut in an instant.

Boopkins: Aw geez...

...

Back at the castle, Swag had lost his patience with waiting for the bomb as he kicked the bunker door off its hinges.

Swag: Godammit. You have no idea how blue balled I am right now Chris.

Chris: I don't want to know about your balls swag.

Swag: The hell is wrong with this thing?

Walking over to the nuke, Swag made the stupid decision to kick the nuke and he was immediately tackled by Chris.

Chris: Swag!!! The hell are you doing?

Swag: ME WANT BOOM.

Chris: You idiot. If that explodes while we're out here, you'll be part of the boom.

Swag: (Thinks for a second) True. Wow Chris, you are very big brain.

Chris: Ugh...wait a minute...

Chris walked to the nuke, seeing the electrical panel sparking.

Chris: Swag, someone's tampered with the remote detonation transceiver.

Swag: What? Who? When I get my hands on them, I oughta-

An angry yell drew their attention to the roof. The voice was none other than...Princess peach.

Maybe they should've gotten permission before trying to destroy her castle...

...

Back in the bunker, Smg4 was being the guard for the exit to stop people from leaving, when Boopkins suddenly hit the wall nearby. Startled, Smg4 glared at him.

Smg4: Trying to escape, Huh?!

Boopkins: No, Bob threw me!

Confused, Smg4 turned around to see Bob already by the exit door.

Bob: Haha, so long losers!

Bob opened the door and ran down the hall to escape-

(BONK!)

Only to smash his face on a large brick in his way.

Smg4: Haha! You fool!! You forget, I have a very big brain! I cemented us in here in preparation of people trying to escape! Haha, I'm so smart...

Boopkins: What?! We're cemented in here?!

Bob: Damn, he's good...

Back with Mario, Saiko and Meggy, the Italian and former squid were still on time out as Saiko was their "Warden".

From across the room, Mario flipped Meggy off. Enraged, she threw a rock that hit Mario square in the face, making him scream and drawing the attention of Saiko.

Saiko: Oi! No talking in time out!

Mario was annoyed, hearing Meggy laughing at him across the hall.

This meant war...

Coming up with a plan, he reached across the room with his super stretchy hand and past Bob as he wore a mask disguise.

Bob: Hello sir, could you please remove this concrete wall?

Smg4: Bob, I know it's you.

Bob: Dammit!

Mario's hand reached over to Tari as she sat by the wall, comforting a saddened Boopkins as Crystal helped where she could.

Boopkins: (Sniff) Bob and Smg4 are being so mean to me...

Crystal: Boopy, don't cry...

She glanced over to the table where Saiko was, Mario too pre-occupied with his plan and Saiko busy reading a newspaper. With a determined growl, she moved towards the table and left Tari to help Boopkins.

Tari: Aww Boopkins, don't worry...you'll be safe with me!

Boopkins: Aw, thanks Tari! I'm so glad to have a friend like-agh!"

Mario began his plan as he grabbed hold of Boopkins...

Boopkins: Mario, what are you-BLEGH!

And squeezed him tightly, causing him to cough up a spike ball. The ball hit Meggy as Mario laughed, causing Meggy to loser her temper and jump on Mario to choke him. Grabbing her hammer, Saiko had enough.

Saiko: Meggy! What did I say-?!

Before she could finish, Meggy snatched her hammer and hit Saiko on the head with it. Saiko screamed as she tried to get away from both of them, Crystal sneaking away and towards Boopkins.

Boopkins: Aw, everyone's being so mean today...

Crystal: It's okay Boopy, look what I got you!

Turning, Boopkins was shocked and happy by what she had.

Boopkins: My...my chocolate! (Takes from Crystal) Yay! But...why?

Crystal: Mommy and uncle Mario are being mean to you. Plus, it was...yours to begin with. You need it more then them.

Boopkins: Aw, thanks Crystal. Hey, wanna share it with me?

Crystal: O-okay!

Sitting and splitting the chocolate bar, the two started eating when Melony walked over.

Melony: Boopkins? Where's Axol?

Crystal (Full mouth): Hi Melony!

Boopkins: Oh, Axol? I think he's in the bathroom.

Melony took note, walking to the bathroom door as she felt a sense of Erie silence come over her.

She knocked on the door. No response made her nervous.

She reached for the knob and opened the door...

But nothing was their. Just the toilet, No Axol.

Melony: Axol?

Ignoring her completely, Mario walked past Melony and closed the bathroom door, but right as he went to pull down his zipper...

He noticed something...off.

The toilet bowl was glowing, numbers floating in the air in the colour green.

Mario: Woah...there's a lot of ominous 1's and 0's floating around here.

Then suddenly, the bowl started glowing brighter.

Mario: What the...what's that?

Then it finally clicked. The numbers, the glow, the numbers! The very things that haunted him and night and scared him awake!

But by the time Mario realised...

Mario: No...no! NOOOOOO-!!!!

It was too late.

A flash went off accompanied by some static noise in the air...

And when the door opened, Mario was gone. Nothing but an empty toilet in his place.

Crystal looked over to the toilet, becoming curious to where Mario was. She grabbed her head as another pain came on, her vision glitching as her eyes flashed orange again...

...

The castle debacle had reached an all time high as Peach had suddenly arrived, enraged at the two guards.

Princess Peach: I won't let you blow up my castle!!!

Jumping down from the roof, Swag barley had any time to react before Peach landed right on him and started smashing him with a frying pan.

Swag: Ahh! Chris! Please help me!

Putting on some blue shades and Chomping down a bucket of popcorn, Chris did nothing but watch as Swag got what he considered well deserved karma.

Getting kicked in the face by Peach, Swag kicked her off him and into the nearby cannon where he aimed and shot her far away into the sky.

Having dropped the remote detonation computer chip, Swag grabbed it and put it back on the nuke electric panel.

Swag: BUNKER! NOW!!

Swag and Chris ran back to the bunker, Swag having his "BOOM BUTTON" at the ready.

Swag: Okay, no more talking! It's boom time!!

...

Bob and Smg4 stared each-other down, the former wearing a ridiculous cowboy hat. With a can of empty vegetable ramen next to her, Desti played some cowboy stand-off music on a guitar.

Smg4: This bunker ain't big enough for the two of us...

Bob: Hahaha, you underestimate me! I too have a few tricks up my sleeve!

Making his point quite literally, Bob swapped out his sword arms for actual drills and leapt over the surprised Smg4.

He tried using the drills to break through the cement brick, Smg4 trying to pull him back and screaming. As Meggy and Saiko both tried to murder each-other for different reasons, Melony called out for Axol in a panic.

Melony: Axol??! Axol!!!

Boopkins sat curled up on the floor, Moaning to himself.

Boopkins: War...war never changes...

Desti just sat to the side, using a nail sharpener as she observed the chaos with a monotone expression.

Off to the other wall, Tari was sitting down with a protective arm around Crystal and her duck Archibald. A thought came to her mind, then her eyes went wide as she made a sudden realisation.

Tari: Guys!!!

Everyone stopped what they were doing to listen, until she revealed...

Tari: WE FORGOT LUIGI!!!

...

Back at the castle, Luigi was oblivious to all the tanks and the nuke on the castle bridge as he walked to the castle front door.

Luigi: Guys? Anyone of you here? I brought some board games for us to play!

(Silence)

Luigi: Guys-?

(Tick-BOOM!!!)

An Earth quaking explosion went off behind him as the nuke went off.

When the dust cleared, the castle was a flaming pile of stones...and Luigi was nothing more then a skeleton with a green hat.

Luigi:...ow.

But despite the deadly power the nuke's explosion held...

Zero's USB still hovered above the smouldering castle, still glowing as it radiated its threatening presence...

Swag: Dammit, it didn't work!

...

And back at the bunker...

The toilet bowl glowed green with 1's and 0's yet again...as Mario's screams echoed around it...

To be continued...