• 22 •

T W E N T Y T W O

1 week later

A L E X A

I sat at a table at the hilltop. I had a knife in hand, twirling the tip slowly into the wood.

My face rested in my left hand. My body was still bandaged, but I could move around now.

I felt numb.

I felt coldness in the inside. That's all I felt. It was numbing.

I missed my dad terribly. All I could hear was his voice in my head. I wore his jacket and I hadn't left lucille in days.

I wore the jacket open so I wasn't so hot in it. Under the jacket I wore a normal shirt.

My eyes stared at the blade of my knife, seeing the reflection of my face in it. I had no expression.

My eyes were still puffy just a little from crying so much.

"Hey, Alexa." I heard footsteps come behind me. I didn't answer. I just kept twisting the knife.

"How are you?" They asked."Numb." I simply whispered.

"Do you want anything?" They stepped to the other side of the table. Jesus.

I just kept quiet."Just let her be... she's not feeling well." The only voice I was happy to hear sounded."Hi baby." Carl kissed the top of my head, then sat next to me.

I didn't greet him back. I just wanted to be left alone.

Though I needed all the comfort I could receive, I refused to accept any.

I needed it from my dad and that was something I couldn't get.

"How are your burns? Do they feel better?" Carl tucked strands of hair behind my ear, sending a warm feeling that I haven't felt for the past week.

I simply shrugged."Only a little bit of pain. Yours?" I whispered slightly, turning my head to look at Carl.

"Mine, too." He sent me a small smile, trying to make me feel better.

I studied his face. I knew he wanted nothing more than to just hold me and tell me everything would be okay. I could see it in his eye.

"Let's go get those stitches out." Carl stood up, holding his hand out. I stared at his hand for a few seconds, processing what he said.

"Come on, Alexa. They need to be taken out." Carl sighed. I nodded and put my hand in his, standing up.

Carl lead me upstairs to Maggie's room."Maggie?" Carl called out her name."Yeah Carl?" She appeared from her closet, ruffling her shirt.

"Stitches." Carl turned my head to show her they were still in my cheek.

"Oh, right. Come here honey." Maggie motioned me over towards her and patted on her bed.

I sat down on her bed and we went to her bathroom. "It might feel a little weird, but I've just got to cut them out and remove them." Maggie shuffled through some stuff and came back in the room with a box.

She opened it, grabbing a pair of scissors and tweezers.

I sat there patiently, waiting for her to just take them out. She raised the scissors to my face and cut, then used the tweezers to remove.

It felt extremely weird. I shivered at the touch, the scissors and tweezers very cold."Sit still." Maggie instructed.

I just listened to her and sat still.

"So how are you?" She asked as she focused intently.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I growled, moving back as she took another one out. Maggie grabbed my chin, making me still.

"Because people care about you." Maggie said."People know what it's like to lose someone you love... maybe it is different for you because you guys were extremely close, but people want to help you." She added.

I knew she was right I just didn't reply.

I let her finish her job without squirming as much. "Alright, good as new." Maggie smiled, putting her tools away.

"Thanks." I muttered.

"Is there anything that you need?" She offered.

"I want to go home. I want to go see his grave. Can you take me home?" That's the most I've spoken in days.

"Are you ready for that?" Carls brows furrowed. I turned to him, my expression going lighter.

"No. I won't ever be ready... but I miss home. Come with me... please." I whispered. Carl glanced at Maggie.

She gave him a look of confirmation and then his attention moved back to me."Yeah, we'll take you home." He held his arm out to me.

I hesitantly walked into his arm, it wrapping around my body and pulling me into his chest."We'll take you home." He planted a kiss on the top of my head once again as he repeated himself.

His other arm wrapped around my torso loosely, holding me into him.

My cheek rested against his collar bone."Pain."

3 H O U R S L A T E R

Everyone stared at me as I entered the doors of the sanctuary with dad's jacket on and lucille in my hand.

Children, mothers, fathers, workers, people we saved just standing around, wanting to know if I was okay and how I was handling my fathers death.

Carl's hand was on my shoulder, letting me know he was still right there with me.

I looked around, not knowing what to say. I didn't want to disappoint anyone with how was feeling.

Mainly I just didn't want to say it out loud. I was still in denial. A small part of me still believed that we would just walk in my door when I wake up and greet me with a kiss on the forehead.

I exhaled deeply and just pushed passed a few people, Carl following closely behind.

I ran up the stairs, moving quickly to my room. Carl couldn't keep up, so when I went to my room I immediately just slammed the door shut and locked it.

I dropped lucille on the floor next to me.

Tears stung my eyes, my forehead leaning against my door.

"Alexa, baby, let me in." Carla sweet sweet voice cooed through the door.

A few warm tears slid down my cheeks.

"I know it hurts. Shutting me out won't do you any good." As he said this, more tears just fell.

I missed my dad. I hated knowing I'd never see him again. It was such a terrible and horrible feeling.

I sniffled, trying to stop my tears but they just fell faster.

"You remember what he said? He said let me be your savior." He was right.

My forehead never left the door. My eyes shut and my silent tears went on.

"Open the door, Alexa." He purred.

I took my forehead off the door and stepped back a little.

My fingers reached for the doorknob and twisted the lock, making a click sound.

I turned the knob and pulled the door open.

Carl stood there with concern written all over his face.

I sniffed again, more tears escaping my eyes. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." Carl once again pulled me into him gently, embracing me.

This time I tightly put my arms around him, letting out cries into his shoulder.

"He's really gone, Carl." My voice cracked, it very obvious I was about to burst into a fit of sobs.

"He's not coming back."

):

Believe me in the next few chapters she'll have a dark dark turn (: