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Incredibly proud of this chapter. This might be one of the last uploads I still haven't decided /:

T W E N T Y O N E

continuum.

A L E X A

Dad's arms grew weaker and weaker around me by the minute. I pulled away from his shoulder, my eyes puffy and hard to see out of considering the tears that were coming out without hesitation.

I sniffled, seeing dad's face more sweaty and more pale. He was dying.

"I- love you." I took in sharp breaths, holding onto him like my life depended on it.

"I... love... you... too." His eyelids were drooping over his beautiful brown eyes. He was just getting even weaker.

I sat next to him, my hands holding his tightly.

"Don't go." I whispered, tiring myself out. I closed my eyes, setting my forehead against the side of his head.

Tears still seemed to fall out of my eyes, even though they were closed. It was silent. All you could hear were my weeps.

"My little princess... I always... knew... you'd... become... a leader... I'm... so... proud." His voice grew raspy.

"You're... so... strong... a better... person... than I... ever... was."

"You... and Carl... did... so... good." He turned his head towards me, making me look at him. My eyes opened and I just cried more.

"You p-promised I wouldn't lose you." I hiccuped. "How- how am I supposed to do this without you?" I asked, my warm tears just flowing.

"You... can... do... it... let... Carl... be... your... savior." Dad mumbled almost inaudible.

"This can't- this can't be happening- no no no! You can't die, dad! Please please!" I wailed, holding his cheeks.

I couldn't even feel my burns anymore. I could only feel the torture right now.

The pain of the losing the one person that I never thought I would lose.

"I... love... you... Alexa... don't... forget... to keep... fighting."

I noticed his eyes close and his hands fall limp in mine. I looked down at them and back at his face.

"N-no... Dad, please w-wake up!" This couldn't be happening. I lost him.

I lost my father.

Once I heard his breathing stop and his body release from the tensing he was doing, I knew it was over.

I was trembling.

I stared at his face, my silent tears rushing out as fast as they could.

My hands were removed from his, only to lift them and put them on his cheeks.

"No!" I screamed, my silent tears turning into wails.

I had completely forgot about the drifters in this moment. I forgot what they were trying to do and I didn't care how loud I was being.

I was suffering. My body ached but my heart felt nothing but pure agony.

"P-please wake up!" I turned his face to me. I knew it wasn't possible.

I knew what I had to do, but I didn't want to.

My shaky hand slowly grabbed my knife, trying to hold it still, but my body wasn't allowing that.

I eyed the blade, my tears dropping into it with a splash.

I peered back up at Dad, causing my tears to come even faster.

"Kiddo, you don't have to do it." I heard Daryl. He could see that I didn't want to.

"I-I have to." I tried to hold in my cries, but it only caused me to feel that dreaded lump.

I raised the blade, the end of it tapping into his temple.

"Oh how did it end this way." I whispered, my voice choking. "H-how was this your ending?" My voice was barely audible.

My free hand caressed his cheek, even though I knew he couldn't feel it.

I closed my eyes, more and more tears racing out at unreal speeds. I took a deep breath in and pushed the blade through.

As soon as I felt it pierce his skin and go through, I let out a loud whimper.

I did it.

I pulled the knife out quickly, realizing what I did. My eyes shot open and I looked at the horror in front of me.

What did I just do?

My quivering hands dropped the knife on the ground and I stood up, nearly falling over.

The sewer wall next to me caught me, my hands flattening out on the wall.

"Alexa, I'm- I'm sorry." Ricks sympathetic tone flowed through my ears. I didn't reply.

I just turned and limped towards the back of the sewer. I made noises of pain, the feeling of my burns settling in.

I limped over to Carl and harshly sat down, groaning, my tears still falling.

"Baby." Carl's right hand rubbed my cheekbone, but I moved away from his touch, my face removing every single expression from it as the tears rushed out.

Carl tried his best comforting me, but he was in a lot of pain.

I was, too. In two ways.

I was no longer strong.

I was broken and there was no fixing this.

There were no words to explain how bad it hurt.

There was no more Negan and Alexa.

It was just Alexa.

T H E N E X T D A Y

My sore eyes fluttered open, being blinded by sunlight through some blinds. What an awful dream.

I squinted before I could let my eyes adjust.

Once they did, I looked around. I was in a room, a nice one.

To my left there was another bed. Carl was in it, his shirt and pants off, resting peacefully.

I felt pain along my body and I remembered my burns. I looked down at my body, seeing I was left in just my undergarments.

Bandages were wrapped around my torso, forearm, upper arm, thigh and calves.

I then took a good look around the room... I was at hilltop.

I sat up a little and looked over to Carl's left side. He was also covered in bandages on the entire left side of his body except his face. Somehow he managed to get away from facial burns. We both got lucky in that source.

His burns were way more severe than mine were, though.

I just let my back rest against the mattress again and stared at the ceiling. My mind was blank. My body felt like it was on fire and it was one of the worst pains I've ever felt.

I heard the door to the room squeak open, but I didn't bother to look. "Hey, you're awake." I made the voice out as Maggie's. I looked over and saw her and rick.

"Mhmm." I hummed."How are you feeling?" Rick asked. "Pain." I whispered."Where's Dad?" My brows furrowed a little.

Her expression fell as she heard that question.

"Honey, do you not remember?" Maggie questioned."That was- that was real?" I could already feel the pain again.

"Yeah, it was real, Alexa... we're so so sorry." Rick apologized.

I turned my head back forward, staring at the ceiling again. I felt the tears coming to my eyes. One slid down the side of my face.

"Right." I mumbled.

"We got this for you." Rick spoke again. He walked over towards my bed, showing me dad's jacket and lucille.

"Th-thank you." My lip quivered.

I closed my eyes, letting the tears fall silently.

I felt like I couldn't move. I felt as if someone sat a 1,000 pound weight onto my chest and I couldn't move it.

I just wanted my dad back. He promised he wouldn't leave me. He promised it'd be Negan and Alexa forever.

I failed to protect my dad.

I failed to keep him safe.

I failed him.

"If I didn't fuck with those people this wouldn't have happened. If you want someone to blame, blame me." Rick said.

"No. I don't believe that. Maybe things wouldn't have been different." I refused to blame anyone because I know I wouldn't want people to be hurt.

I was hurt.

I would always be hurt over this.

"D-Dad." I heard Carl's soft voice. This made me feel the tiniest bit better, but not much.

All of my hope is gone.

All humanity I had left in me is now gone.

I felt cold and dark on the inside.

I can't do it alone. My dad was what kept me fighting. I don't have that motivation.

He told me to let Carl be that motivation... but it wasn't the same.

I wanted my father back.

Everything bad always happens to me. Nothing in this world is good.

But I knew there was nothing I could do to bring him back.

): I'm actually so fucking sad over this wtf

Do you think this will make Alexa turn dark or do you think it'll just break her and she'll turn to giving up?