• 6 •

S I X

1 week later

[ A L E X A ]

It was growing closer and closer to the day my dad is going to destroy this place. I studied everyone and everything. I was always questioned by Carl on why I was so observant... why I was so quiet.

I've been waiting for the day of Alexandria to be destroyed since we found out about them... but now I'm slowly starting to dread it.

"Good morning. What a beautiful day." Glenn smelled the air with a smile. He was so sweet, too pure for this world.

He didn't belong in this mess."Yeah... the sun is very- um... bright today." I tried to come up with something but my brain just failed me. I stopped the sentence with a little laugh.

"You seem stressed, what's up?" He stopped in his tracks. Obviously, I couldn't tell him what was actually stressing me out. But boy, was it killing me on the inside.

"Oh- um- you know.... I'm just thinking of my past... I miss my parents, that's all." I do miss my mom and dad. Luckily I could still see one.

"They're still here.. well, technically." I could tell he was tired. "How?" I furrowed my brows."Because you're still here. You're still fighting." He calmly said. I just looked away.

"Yeah... I am." I missed my mom. More than anything. I know that if I lost dad, too, I would lose it.

We are all each other has left. Without each other, we would be broken.

"Well I'll be back later, keep yourself happy. Carl is upstairs." He nuzzled my hair with his hand. I just smiled softly and fixed my hair.

I thought Carl left, but apparently not. I stood still for maybe two minutes, thinking to myself.

What have I gotten myself into? I know me. Usually I don't care about anyone. I needed to stop caring.

All that's on my mind is my dad and my group... but these people. They're good people.

But they killed my family. Well, some of my family.

But they were just looking out for themselves, we would've done the same thing. We have done the same thing.

I continued to argue with myself until I snapped out of it. I just breathed in and then made my way upstairs.

I took my time because my head was still spinning with thoughts. Do I let this happen?

I have to. Even though I'm getting to know these people, I will always be on my dads side no matter what.

I tried to clear my head so I could go talk to Carl. I got into the hallway and knocked on his door.

No response. I walked in anyway, since there wasn't anything bad I was going to walk into.

He was laying on the bed, his eye closed, his lips slightly parted, small, tiny, cute snores came from his nose. His torso was bare, but hanging on his hips was a pair of jeans. The sides of my lips barely curled up, but they did. I crossed my arms and lightly walked towards the bed.

I studied his face. This boy has been nothing but nice to me this entire time... he let me in. He could've killed me, but he didn't. He trusted me. He shouldn't have.

I could've killed him. But I didn't.

I should've, because I wouldn't feel the way I do. One way or another he is going to die, and it's going to hurt.

A lot more than it is supposed to. My eyebrows slightly furrowed and my heart rate accelerated a little faster at just the thought of it.

He doesn't deserve to die.

I needed to stop getting weak. This place- these people- they make me weak. Because all they've done is shown me that they care a lot for each other and even me, and I'm new.

I'm a savior posing as an Alexandrian. When rick finds out he'll kill me for sure, but I deserve it.

All the wrong I've done with my dad. But it was fun. It felt good.

I needed to stop second guessing this entire thing. I barely know any of these people. I love my dad and I love my group. I love being a savior.

It's just harder because these are the first people in awhile that have taken me in. That I have gotten to know by myself and not because anyone else wanted me to... well, entirely.

But I loved how things were. I loved being where I am, being the most powerful group in the world.

I loved having people being afraid of me. Of my dad.

I loved being dangerous. I loved being threatening and vicious. Menacing.

I am unpredictable, I'm risky. I'm an outlaw.

I soon was ripped from my thinking when Carl's body moved.

He stretched and his eyes fluttered open. I grinned, almost snickering.

"Well good morning." I greeted him."Mmm, good morning." His voice was deep and slightly scratchy.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked. He scooted over and turned onto his side to face me. He propped his left arm up to hold his head in his hand.

"It was okay." He shrugged. "At least it wasn't bad." I ran my fingers through my hair.

Carl's arms quickly reached out and grabbed around my hips, pulling me down onto the bed next to him. I squealed from the slight touch on my hips that then trailed to my waist as he pulled me down. This action caused my gun to fall out of the waistband of my jeans.

"You're ticklish?" Carl questioned, propping himself on his left elbow, looking down at me.

"What? No." I tried to lie. He squinted his eye, raising an eyebrow.

His right moved to my waist and started tickling. I started laughing and squirming, trying to get his hand away, but one, his movements were unpredictable, and two, his tickles were really making me laugh and I couldn't stop it because I was laughing too hard.

And it felt good. It felt normal. I felt free.

"You lied to me." Carl smiled as he watched me laugh. I finally grabbed his hand with my left hand and breathed heavily.

"I know." I breathed out with a grin. Carl just smiled, scanning me with his eye.

He took his wrist out of my grasp and locked our fingers. This caused my cheeks to heat up.

Our hands rested on my stomach.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" His voice softened. "I do now."

"Good." He replied. "You look nervous. What's wrong?" He questioned. I raised a brow. Shit. Carl Grimes has been observing me as much as I've been observing him.

"Nothing's wrong. Just... I miss my mom and dad. That's all." I whispered."Do you wanna talk about it?" Carl asked. I just shook my head.

"No, I'm okay. Trust me." I unhooked our hands to put mine on his cheeks. I admired his cute face.

This made my heart hurt. He was going to be dead soon. I really cared about Carl. I let myself get weak.

The small smile I had faded as the thought filled my head. Of my dad hurting him. I don't know if I'd be able to watch. I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself.

He didn't deserve to be hurt. I just pulled his lips to mine, not wanting to think about him dying anymore.

Carl meant something to me and I didn't know why. I had no intention of that. I care about a lot of people here, but Carl... he's different.

He made me feel these feelings that I've never had for anyone else.

Being a teenager, I knew that this would happen one day. That I would find someone I could unconditionally care for.

That I would have a soft spot. I just didn't know the world would end and it would be my worst enemy that would eventually be taken away from me.

I just pulled away from the kiss, my mind flooding.

I needed to stop. This needed to happen.

As long as I could save Carl, even though he would hate me once he found out... He just doesn't deserve to die.

"Alexa.... can you promise me something?" Carl spoke up."What is it?"

"Promise me that you'll never leave. Almost everyone in my life has left me in some sort of way... promise me that you and I will stick together no matter what." Why did he have to make this so god damn hard.

I wasn't supposed to feel this way.

I sighed to myself. I would be lying to him. My dad would kill him.

I'm already lying to him enough.

"I promise."

Fuck