• 7 •

S E V E N

2 months later

A L E X A

Today was the day. They didn't know that. We were just going to the hilltop to get Maggie a doctor. That's what they thought.

That threw the plan off a little, she wasn't supposed to get sick... but it made it go faster.

Little did they know. Maggie really needed a doctor and I wish I could just get her there. But things are going to go bad today.

I followed Carl into the armory. He did not want me to go. He was annoyed because I refused to let him to make that decision for me.

"Glenn is still not back. I need to be there for Maggie." I said. "I said no." Carl was shoving guns into a bag.

"Carl-""Look, this place isn't too big to protect. You need to stay back and help protect it." Carl cut me off.

"This place is ready. Most of these people are trained and you know that. If you were worried about an attack you wouldn't be leaving." I needed to go. I wanted to be there for Carl, really. I needed to protect him.

"You know how far the hilltop is? You know what could happen?" He turned to me. I just looked at him.

"Those saviors are out there. You know what they did to Denise. You know what they tried to do with Maggie and Carol. To Daryl, to Rosita, to Eugene... that's not happening to you, alright? I'm not gonna let it." He got in my face.

They would never hurt me. They're my family, Carl.

Carl started to grab ammo. A lot of it. Carl loaded a gun and put it in the bag.

"You want to run into them, right? You hope they show up." I tried so hard to sound like I wasn't with them. Carl just looked at me.

"Jesus, this is about getting Maggie to a doctor, not about-" I raised my voice."Screw you, I'm going." Either way I was going. Dwight was waiting to pick me up just in case.

"Alexa stop! Just wait." He stood in front of me."Get out of my way." I gave him a warning."Carl!" I raised my voice when he didn't listen.

"I love you." He blurted out. This took me by surprise."I know it's sudden but fuck this whole time that I've known you... you've showed me nothing but affection and... and.... I don't want anything bad happening to you." He put his hands on my cheeks.

"You're the only person who listens to me. You care about me and I care about you. I don't want you getting hurt." His lips got closer to mine.

I didn't know what to think. Carl just pressed his lips against mine. I held his cheeks, savoring this kiss. This made it hard for me... he loved me and he was going to die because of it.

"Just grab some pistols from the closet, but hurry, we've got to go now." He whispered. I nodded and went into the closet... then I heard the door close.

That little bitch. I tried opening the door but he blocked it from the outside."Carl! Damnit! Carl! Carl!" I hit the door.

I breathed heavily... if I wasn't there to protect him, he would die."What happens if you don't come back? How am I supposed to live with that? What the hell am I supposed to do?" I was so scared to lose him. I shouldn't have gotten close.

"Just survive somehow." His voice was muffled by the door."Don't go... please." I begged.

"I'll come back." He just left. I smiled at the fact he was smart enough to lock me in the closet. That's my boy.

But he was dumb enough because he knew I could escape. But he knew I couldn't do it quick enough to follow him. I grabbed my knife and crouched down to the doorknob. I carefully picked the lock with my knife until I heard it click open which took like 7 minutes. He had also put a chair against the door. Smart boy.

I shoved my body against it until it broke open. I had escaped and I was going.

But I wasn't going with Carl.

I got out and ran to the back. I climbed up the walls and spotted Dwight in a car. I hopped over and sped to the car.

"You're alive." He smiled as I hopped in."I am." I smiled. Dwight started driving before Alexandria could leave.

"How was it in there?" Should I tell him the truth?

"Functional. They really care about each other. They're a family and they're determined." I didn't say anything about getting close with anyone. He would tell my dad.

"Well some of them are going to die today." I knew that, thanks for reminding me."How's dad?" I changed the topic.

"He's good. He definitely misses you. He's ready for today. We've got Daryl, Glenn, michonne and Rosita." I didn't want this to keep happening.

But I did at the same time.

They were my enemy before they were my friends.

My mind just filled with these thoughts.

"You excited to see negan?" He had a lot of questions."Yeah, I missed him." I nodded. I took the gun that was resting in my jeans, out.

I let out a sigh. This was going to be a long day. I wish I could just skip out of it.

I got myself into this mess. I was the one who snuck out for that boy.

I got myself into the mess of caring about all of these people.

I did this to myself.

When we arrived at the scene, there were so many of us here. I saw dad talking to a few people. I quickly got out of the car and he turned around.

"Dad!" I smiled and hugged him."There's my princess!" Dad smiled, hugging me back. I missed him so much. "How've you been? Tell me everything." Dad pulled away from the hug.

I couldn't tell him the truth. If I told him that I thought they were good people he would be so mad.

"There's not much to tell." Lie. There was so much to tell. But I couldn't tell him that I fell in love with a boy. Especially a boy from Alexandria.

And he didn't even know. I couldn't bring myself to say it because it would only hurt him more when he found out.

My palms were sweating. I wanted to stop this. At least stop Carl from getting here."Anyone find out you were a savior?" Dad asked.

"No, but I was in the same room jesus a few times, I thought he'd recognize the name." I breathed out.

"Jesus may be smart but he's stupid." Dwight sat up on the van that I knew carried Daryl, michonne, Glenn, and Rosita.

I knew they couldn't hear me."Are any of them hurt?" I kept my eye on the van. "Not badly. Daryl is shot in the shoulder." Dwight looked down at the van. My heart raced. They were going to find out who I was.

"So how is this all going to end?" I looked down at my hands. "Who knows? I just happy to see my little girl." Dad nuzzled my hair with his hand. I chuckled and playfully punched him.

I hopped up into a trunk, sitting and waiting. I knew as it turned dark and simon was here that they were close.

I knew that when the rv was stolen from them that they were close. They had Eugene placed him on his knees, but I just hid in the rv with my dad.

Then I heard the famous whistling. They were here. I saw from the tinted windows all the headlights flashed and they were right in the middle, holding Maggie up. Oh no.

They all looked around in fear. Rick, Aaron, Abraham, Sasha, Maggie, and Carl... they were petrified. Eugene had a face of a cry for help. My stomach twisted.

"Good. You made it. Welcome to where you're going." Simon walked out to them.

"We'll take your weapons, now." Simon pulled a gun out on Carl. I gasped in slightly and got closer to the window. "You ready princess? Let's make an impact." Dad laughed.

"Yeah- yeah I-I'm ready." I nervously stared."We can talk about it-"

"We're done talking. Time to listen." Simon cut rick off. I've wanted to see this for so long... and now that I am I hate it.

They were stripped from their weapons. I kept my eyes on Carl. Simon pulled out one of our guns from his holster... what the hell?

"That's yours, right?... yeah, that's yours." Simon flicked his hat. Carl had a glare on his face. Just leave him alone, Simon, please.

"Okay, let's get her down and get you all on your knees. Lots to cover." Simon motioned to Maggie.

"Hold up. We got it." Abraham didn't make eye contact with anyone. My head started pounding.

"Sure, sure." Simon let it pass. They got Maggie down and on her knees. She looked miserable. They moved Eugene next to them.

"Gonna need you on your knees." Simon said to rick. Rick looked around cautiously and got down on his knees, then everyone else followed.

"Dwight!""Yeah?" Dwight stepped out from the shadows."Chop chop."

Dwight moved to the van and opened the doors, revealing Daryl, michonne, Rosita, and Glenn.

"Come on, you got people to meet." They got dragged out and put into the line. Glenn noticed Maggie and I could see the fear in his eyes.

"Maggie!" He went to run to her but Dwight stopped him."On your knees." He ordered. I was aching. I couldn't stand this.

"Alright! We got a full boat! Let's meet the man." I then heard the knocks on the door.

"Come on, princess. Let's show them who we are. Dad hung Lucille against his shoulder. I looked at him and I almost cried.

"I'll be out in a sec, okay?" I told dad."Sure. I've got an idea." He smiled, kissing my forehead, then left the rv.

"Pissing our pants yet? Boy do I have a feeling we're getting close. Yep, it's gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon." Dad walked closer to them.

"Which one of you pricks is the leader?" He knew. I knew. We all knew.

"It's this one. He's the guy." Simon pointed to rick. I bit my nails, just eyeing the scene.

Negan smiled and stepped infront of rick.

"Hi, you're rick, right? I'm negan, and I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people." Dad spoke quickly. I leaned even closer to the window. I needed to hear everything.

"Not cool. Not cool. You have no idea how not cool that shit is." Dad shook his head. I knew it wasn't.

"But I think you're gonna be up to speed shortly." I could tell he was giving that smile. The one that made us look insane. Our famous smile.

"Yeah, you are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes here." He said

"Yes you are." I heard his playful tone. That's my dad.

"See, rick, whatever you do, no matter what, you don't mess with the new world order. And the new world order is this and it's really very simple. So even if you're stupid, which you very well may be, you can understand it. Are you ready? Here it goes, pay attention." I thought dad was going to hit him, but he didn't. He just swung Lucille down.

"Give me your shit or I will kill you." I couldn't shake this feeling off. I was torn.

"Today was career day, we invested a lot so you would know who I am and what I can do." He walked down the line again, making me shake in fear for them. They used to deserve it... but they're good people.

Everyone does what they need to do to survive.

But they killed my family.

God I was arguing with myself back and forth. My brain was going to explode.

"You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me. That's your job." He told them.

"Now I know that is a mighty big nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly will. You ruled the roost. You built something. You thought you were safe. I get it. But the word is out."

"You are not safe. Not even close." Dad admitted. He was right. They were not safe.

Not even close.

"In fact, you are pegged. More pegged if you don't do what I want and what I want is half your shit and if that's too much, you can make, find, or steal more and it'll even out sooner or later."

I felt so guilty. I used them... and they were about to find out.

"This is your way of life now. The more you fight back, the harder it will be. So if someone knocks on your door... you let us in. We own that door. You try to stop us and we will knock it down." Dad raised his voice a bit.

"You understand?" He questioned.

Everyone was silent. So silent you could hear miles away. I peered at Carl and he looked terrified and pissed off.

"What? No answer? You don't really think that you were going to get through this without being punished, now did you?" That's exactly what they thought.

"I don't want to kill you people, just want to make that clear from the get-go." But I knew we weren't leaving this without someone dying.

"I want you to work for me. You can't do that if you're dead now can you?" I'm not growing a garden. But you killed my people, a whole damn lot of them, more than I'm comfortable with... and for that, for that you're gonna pay."

"So, now... I'm gonna beat the holy hell out of one of you." I knew it. This is where my eyes started to sting. I couldn't help it. I was fucking weak.

Dad spun Lucille. He was going to introduce her."This is Lucille and she is awesome." Dad emphasized.

"All this, all this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honor." I could only see dads back, but I knew he was just looking back and forth of the line.

Dad started to move and stopped in front of Abraham. Abraham bucked up higher on his knees, puffing his chest out. Don't even start, Abraham.

"Huh... oh I gotta shave this shit." Dad turned and then walked right to Carl. Fuck, dad, don't.

"You got one of our guns." Dad pointed and bent down to the gun that was layed out in front of Carl. Tears started to dance on my waterline.

"Yeah, you got a lot of our guns." Dad whispered. Carl had the most death glare he could give.

"Shit kid, lighten up. At least cry a little." Dad stood up.

"I have a surprise for you, all! Especially you, Carl." He shouted happily, pointing at the boy I loved. "Come on out, sweetheart." This is it. It was going to happen.

Goodbye Carl.

I inhaled deeply and then hesitantly showed myself, stepping down the stairs slowly. Carl's eyebrows furrowed.

"No- let her go! Dad- we have to do something! Let her go!" Carl yelled, wanting to get up. A tear slipped down my cheek. He really just wanted me next to him, safely. That's where I wanted to be.

"Oh, you think she's with you? Oh, my boy! This- this is Alexa Rose Montgomery! This is my daughter!" Dad announced, motioning me to his side. I saw anger and heart break in everyone. Ricks face had the look of shock.

I had the guiltiest look on my face, but kept my eyes on Carl. I could see his heart just explode into pieces. I could see the broken trust. His expression fell and he then let his face turn into a sad expression.

"I'm sorry." I mouthed to him, standing next to my dad.Carl blinked, a small tear falling down his cheek.

"You're with them?" Rick croaked. All I could do was nod."She most certainly is!" Dad cheered.

"I am a savior." I put a fake smile on and stepped back, letting dad finish. As his back turned away from me I dropped the smile. As much as I enjoyed this, I hated this.

But I loved it. Being a savior. Being the most dangerous people out there.

Carl's eye didn't leave me. His face had hatred written all over it.

"You lied to me." His voice was shaken. "I did. I lied to all of you."

Dad laughed for awhile, taking it in and then walked to Maggie... poor poor Maggie.

"Jesus, you look shitty. Let's just put you out of your misery." Dad went to swing. I closed my eyes but heard Glenn speak up.

"No!" Glenn yelled. Glenn had gotten up. Dad turned around, his attention moving to Glenn.

"Get him back in line." Dad sighed.

"No, please." Glenn cried out as they forcefully dragged him back into position.

"Alright listen, don't any of you do that again, I will shut that shit down no exceptions. The first ones free, it's an emotional moment, I get it." He pointed at Glenn, smiling.

"Sucks don't it? The moment you realize you don't know shit." Dad lowered his voice.

Dad then took notice at the resemblance between Rick and Carl.

"This is your kid, right?" Dad questioned. I looked at Carl and then at Rick.

"This is definitely your kid." Dad knew that would make me mad if he targeted Carl. He wasn't going to kill carl, but he was going to scare him.

I nudged dad, giving him a look of a warning.

"Don't you touch him." I whispered harshly.

Dad lifted his eyebrow up and he looked back at Carl, smiling.

"Just stop this!" Rick yelled.

"Hey! Do not make me kill the little future serial killer." He yelled back. That broke my heart even more. Carl wasn't a killer. He wasn't going to be. Ever.

"I gotta pick somebody! Everybody's at the table waiting for me to order." Dad glanced around at everyone.

He whistled and looked at me to join in, which I did.

"I simply cannot decide." Dad said, looking down at me again.

"Eenie meenie." I whispered to him.

"Amazing idea, Alexa." Dad moved in front of Rick, taking Lucille by his face.

"Eenie." He moved down to Aaron."Meenie." "Miney."

Each time he said another word my stomach grew tighter and tighter, another tear shedding down from my left eye.

"Moe.""Catch a tiger.""By its toe.""If he hollers.""Let him go." Dad grinned once again."My mother.""Told me to pick the very best one.""And you, are, it." Abraham.

Abraham kept his stare on dad.

I noticed his left hand make a shape of a peace sign to Sasha. She started to cry harder than she was before.

They were together. I could feel my body just getting beat down in guilt.

"If anybody moves, if anybody says anything, cut the boys other eye out and feed it to his father. You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry... hell, you're all going to be doing that." He then swung Lucille down onto Abraham's head.

Everyone screamed. I just jumped a little, used to this sight.

Abraham raised himself back up, surprisingly easily.

"Holy crap, look at that! Taking it like a champ!" Dad excitedly gripped Lucille. "Suck.... my.... nuts." Abraham grunted.

Dad then took another swing and he was down.

He hit Abraham over and over until his skull and brains were mushed into micro pieces.

Everyone was just shaking in fear and crying as they witnessed one of their family members die. I was just glad it was over.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to myself.

"Did you hear that?" Dad giggled.

"He said suck my nuts!" This made me laugh just a little, though.

Suck my nuts. I've heard him say some crazy things but suck my nuts while dying probably was my favorite.

He then bashed his head again 13 more times, ripping me from my small laughter.

I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to watch.

"Oh my goodness! Look at this!" Dad swung Lucille, Abrahams blood ending up on ricks face.

"You guys! Look at my dirty girl." Dad pointed to the bat that he was oh so proud of.

Dad went to Rosita, showing it off like a trophy at a soccer game.

"Sweetheart, lay your eyes on this!" He proudly stated. He knew they used to be together. That was an asshole move.

But boy was it great.

I noticed Rosita couldn't look. She was too traumatized.

"Oh damn were you-- were you together? That sucks. If you were you should know that there was a reason for all of this. Red, and hell he was/is and forever will be red. He just took 1, or 6, or 7 for the team!" Dad teased her, looking for a reaction.

"So take... a damn... Look." Dad growled. But she couldn't. I wouldn't be able to.

"Take a damn look!" Dad screamed. Daryl quickly moved and punched dad in the face.

"Hey!" I shouted, running over and pushing Daryl down into the ground.

Some of my people tackled him and Dwight pointed a crossbow to his face.

"Are you okay?" I asked dad.

"That! Oh my! That is a no no!" Dad ignored my question.

"The whole thing! Not one bit of that shit flys here!" He let it be known.

"You want me to do it?" Dwight asked.

"No, you don't kill that, not until you try it a little." I said.

They dragged Daryl back in the line and held him down.

"Anyway, that's not how it works. I already told you people, first ones free. Then what'd I say? I'd shut that shit down, no exceptions." Oh my god no. Daryl you idiot. He put Carl and everyone else at risk.

"Now I don't know what kind of lying assholes you been dealing with, but I'm a man of my word. First impressions are important." Dad snickered.

"I need you to know me... so, back to it!"

"Dad, no, don't!" But it was too late when I yelled that. He had swung Lucille down onto Glenn's head twice.

No... he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve any of this. He is nothing but a good person. I let a few tears come out as I witnessed this.

I backed up a little, my breathing turning shaky.

"No!" Maggie screamed out.

Dad stepped away from him, leaving him alive. Glenn barely lifted up, mumbling and groaning. His eye... it was almost out of his head. I turned away, gritting my teeth, squeezing my eyes shut.

I let cries out into my head, trying to hold them in from coming out.

My fists tightened, trying not to yell.

"Buddy are you still there? It seems to me like you're trying to speak! But you just took a hell of a hit! I just popped your skull so hard your eyeball is popping out and it's gross as shit!" Dad leaned down.

"M-m-Maggie I'll- ill f-find you-ou." My heart was gone. I caused this. He was suffering. Poor Maggie. Poor Glenn.

"Jesus Christ, dad, just put him out of his misery already!" I spat. Dad listened and just hit over and over again. Just like he did Abraham.

My eyes met with Carl's eye and he had tears just streaming out. Things were silent. I could only hear the cries and weeps of the alexandrians.

My silent ones only being able to be heard by me.

"I'm gonna kill you." Ricks raspy voice said."What? I didn't quite catch that, you're going to have to speak up." Dad teased.

Dad squatted In front of Rick."I'm going to kill you. Not today, not tomorrow. But I will kill you." Big mistake Rick.

"Alexa, what did he have? A knife?" Dad didn't turn away from Rick. I looked at Simon and he mouthed 'hatchet'

"He had a hatchet. " I crossed my arms. "A hatchet?" "He had an axe." I repeated.

Dad motioned me to stand next to him as he was squatted in front of Rick."Alexa is my right hand man. Having one of those is important. I mean what do you have left without them? A whole lot of work. Do you have one? Maybe one of these fine people still breathing?" His right hand man was Daryl. I knew that.

"Oh... or did I..." dad made a knock sound with his mouth. "Sure... yeah. Give me his axe." Simon walked over, handing it to dad.

Dad stood up and put it in his belt. He then grabbed ahold of Rick and I stepped back.

"I'll be right back. Maybe Rick will be with me, and if not... well we can just turn these people inside out, won't we?" Dad dragged him into the rv. He wasn't going to kill Rick, I knew that.

But when my dad drove away, my heart was gone. The things I did to these people.

"You okay?" Simon whispered to me. I just glanced up and nodded, my tears probably visible. "Yeah- I'm cool."

I looked down the line to see all the terrified faces. Carl was still examining me, though. I made my way in front of him and crouched, one more tear managing to appear.

"Alexa, don't." Dwight spoke up."Dwight, stay the fuck out of it." I warned.

Dwight raised his hands in defense and backed up."Any of you say a word to my father I'll iron you in your sleep." I threatened.

Carl's gaze on me showed so much betrayal.

"You're a strong kid." I whispered. "These were not my intentions from the start. It was only when I came back to Alexandria that I had to pretend." As I said this, a small tear ran down his cheek.

"I was going to do everything in my power to protect you from my father. You are what's important to me. Now I know I am the last person you want to converse with... but, Carl grimes, I love you.... I love you and it's real." I kept my voice low.

Carl's eye widened for only a second at my words. I saw his teeth clench harder as much as he wanted to say it back, he didn't.

"I'm sorry for what I've done to you and your people." My hands cradled his cheeks. He wanted to move away, but didn't. He couldn't. Because he loved me. But he hated me. His eye closed and he nuzzled into my hands, putting his head down slightly. He wanted one last moment before him and I would be enemies again. More tears escaped his eye and he let out a small cry, sniffling.

Everyone watched this go down, even the alexandrians. Carl just broke down in sobs in my hands.

All of his people stared at this. Some were worried about Carl and some were worried about what Carl was going to do.

"Don't cry, Carl." I wiped his tears away with my thumbs. My heart failed. I broke him. I damaged him.

"How- how could you do that to me?" He choked through his weeps, his tears slipping onto my hand from his eye. I didn't know what to say. He raised his head, staring me down.

I sighed deeply, planting a kiss on his lips. Carl's hands held my forearms, giving into me. His hands squeezed tightly like he never wanted to let go. He then realized he was kissing the girl who betrayed him and pulled away. A small, apologetic smile appeared on my face, because I knew that's why he pulled away. Carl just kept his mouth shut, still crying silently. I give his nose one last kiss before I got up, walked down the line, looking at all of them.

"Alexa, please... let us go. Maggie needs a doctor... please help us." Sasha pleaded, you could tell she had just been crying.

"I'm sorry... I can't do that. I want to get her a doctor but... I can't allow it right now." I peeped at her. She was a mess.

"It doesn't have to be like this!" Aaron stated.

"I'm afraid it does." Dwight stepped in. "I swear to god if your dad hurts mine I'll-" he did not just threaten me.

"You'll do what, Carl? Kill him?" I got on my knees in front of him again. "Hurt him?" I lowered my voice, an evil smirk playing along my lips. I couldn't show my people I had gotten too too weak. Kissing him in front of them already was a sign.

"Hurt me... even kill me?" My evil smirk growing.

"Oh Carl, you won't even get close." I whispered loud enough for everyone else to hear.

"It's one thing to threaten me, but threaten my dad. Oh Carl. You should've known better."

Aw this was so sad tbh