Chapter 20 - 취한 (CHWI-HAN)[Drunk]

"And the award winner is...Roxi! Grew Up!"

"The winner is AJ Torrez!"

"Kpop phenomenon!"

"Rookie queen!"

"Best female soloist of the year!"

Everywhere I go, those cheers always appear. It's been at over a month since my debut. I've been an idol for over two months and still, the fans keep coming and coming. 'Grew Up' stayed in the top ten for over three weeks, being number one on all charts for the first two weeks, then becoming third on the third week. For a mainstream idol, that sounds like the usual outcome of every music video, but for a rookie that was monumental. As my popularity grew, the less free-time I ended up having every day. I gave Yoongi a key to my dorm if he ever wanted to let himself in for a nap, since I would only get back at my dorm at one in the morning, get an hour of rest, wake up and get ready, go help Sobo-san for an hour, and then go to the main building for promotions or practice. My birthday was growing nearer and nearer, as the month of December ends, today was already the last day. The day before my birthday. But having no one to celebrate it with was nearly heartbreaking, I planned to take the day off to spend time with my puppies, who have been taken care of by my manager during my promotions, and visit my uncle for the day on New Years.

"Thank you Seoul!"I thank, bowing toward the large audience before the stage turns dark.

Performance after performance I am left in an exhausted mess by the end of the day. I could tell by the way my weight was fluctuating that my waist and thighs were becoming so thin that it made the past me look like a whale. If anything, I was just overwhelmed by all the work and standards I had to meet in order to keep my status until my goodbye stage in mid-January. I walked into my dressing room, changing into a large turquoise long-sleeve, black leggings, and black boots. It was time for dinner and then back to the main building for some recordings for the comeback after my goodbye stage. Everything was so chaotic and fast that I didn't know what to think, I just flowed through everything day by day, trying my best every time I set foot on stage. My phone rang, I grabbed it answering before I could yawn into the speaker.

"Hello?"I answer.

"Hi Roxi! You're puppies are just darlings! You've been working pretty hard and I think you should take a break today, tomorrow, and the day after to get rested up. And your birthday is tomorrow! Are you excited to be twenty two?"she beams, her bright attitude making me smile.

"Yep! Thank you ma'am! So I can go to my dorm right now?"I ask, wiping off my makeup and running a hand through my hair.

"Of course! I'll send you a present to your dorm today! Have a good one!"

"Thanks you too."

The call ends while I hurry to the dorm, a smile on my face the whole way there. Right when I got there I change into a large white sweater that covered up to my mid-thigh, black spandex that covered the highest part of my upper thigh, and white knee high socks before falling onto the couch and falling asleep, my puppies hopping onto me and falling asleep as well.

~Time Skip~

"Roxi. Roxi. Hey. Roxi. It's already dinner time."

I force my eyes open to see Yoongi shaking my shoulder, he was holding some take out food and already set up my two person table for a meal. I rub my eyes and whined, sitting up and fixing up my hair crudely before going into my room to get ready. I brushed my hair and washed my face to try and wash away my fatigue. I swayed a bit and grabbed my chair for leverage before sitting down.

"How was practice Yoongi-oppa?"I ask, smiling at the man in front of me.

"It was alright, I came back to see you at your dorm for once. I decided to keep you on the couch since you looked like you were pretty comfortable there."he chuckles, eyeing my face and body with a tinge of worry as he spooned me some rice."You haven't been working too hard have you?"

I look at my thin figure, and placed a hand at my forehead."I'm fine. Just a bit sleepy you know."

It was the truth anyway, I wasn't hungry while I practiced. I guess I became tolerant to the hunger pangs I used to feel whenever I missed second dinner. I ate everything given to me and helped Yoongi clean up before getting ready for bed. I went into my room and locked the door, putting on a large t-shirt and leggings. I walked to the bathroom just as there was a knock on the front door. 'It must be my manager.'

"Yoongi-oppa can you get the door?"I call.

Yoongi says nothing but I hear the door open.

"Roxi! Oh, Yoongi what are you doing here?"asked my manager."Oh she's your friend? That's nice! I'm glad she has someone other than me to watch over her."

After rolling my eyes at her statement, I finished getting ready for bed and I left my bedroom to see Yoongi and my manager talking by the counter. She looked over to me and pulled me into a hug, before pulling away and handing me a small decorative box."Happy early birthday!"she beams,"I should get going back to the main building, see you after your break!"

She leave as quickly as she came, I smiled and placed the present on the coffee table before falling on the couch with relief.

"It's your birthday today?"Yoongi asks, clearly oblivious to the fact it was tomorrow.

"Actually it's tomorrow."I smile, looking up at the ceiling."I'll finally be twenty two!"

"So you'll be twenty two tomorrow."he chuckles, patting my shoulder."Do you have any plans?"

"Well...I'm planning on visiting my uncle tomorrow."I say,"I don't think I'll be at the dorm for most of the day."

And that was that, it's not like I wouldn't visit him even if he was immobilized for the time being, I won't let that change the way I saw him. Soon after Yoongi left, I fell right asleep.

~Time Skip~

After receiving a rather large present from Sobo-san in the morning and eating breakfast in my dorm, I changed into black denim shorts, blue converse, and a white lace blouse. I put on some makeup and covered my face with a mask while putting on my black jacket. I fed my puppies, soon leaving to head over to the hospital. The sky was an ominous grey, and the streets looked less populated than usual. It just seemed like the whole world was at a standstill, like it was plain grey, all void of color and life. A sickening feeling of uneasiness sunk deeper and deeper into the pit of my stomach as I walked to my uncle's room, only to see a group of doctors waiting at the door. Their clip boards weren't much more than scribbled messes, they all had empty looks in their eyes. A female nurse went up to me and the other nurses left to go back to their rooms.

"Are you AJ Torrez?"she asked, writing down on her clipboard.

"Yes, I'm here to see my uncle Richard Cruz."I say shakily, seeing a slight tinge of pity hit her already empty gaze."...Did something happen?"

"...There was a complication. His brain was much more damaged than we could have imagined. Not only that, it seems like he's paralyzed from the neck down due to his torn nervous system in his spine. His brain...is showing symptoms of alzheimer's disease due to a blood vessel rupturing in the hippocampus. Although, we cannot confirm anything until he is conscious."there was a long, agonizing pause until the next words passed her lip."...If he wakes up. Your uncle's nervous system is severely damaged, so damaged that the slightest movement could cause his last nerve to rupture, causing him to lose all chances of ever waking up."

"What will he be like if he does wake up?"I ask, my expression deadpanned behind the face mask."He'll just be paralyzed and he may not even remember me?"

"Correct, we'll try our best and we'll make sure to call you if anything changes Ms. Torrez."

"Thank you."

The nurse walks away, my attention slowly turning over to the door. My shaking hand fell from the door handle, swinging itself back to my side before I hurried out of the hospital. I wouldn't know what to do in there. I wouldn't be able to say anything after seeing him in this state, and knowing how this would end. All from a fall from a ladder. I reved up my bike, I wouldn't go back to the dorm no. Having anyone see me like this would be the end of me. Instead I headed over to the main building. After walking inside I went straight to my manager's office, nearly breaking her door open in fury and confusion.

"Roxi? Oh my, what happened?"she gasps, pulling up a plush chair in front of her cluttered desk."It's your birthday! Why are you so mad?!"

I rested my head on the table and groans, balling up my fist in the case I would need to punch a wall. Her office was already too small and messy as it was. She sighed and went over to her cabinetry to grab two glasses and a bottle of sake.

"This is a workplace and you have sake."I grumble, seeing her pour a glass out in front of me.

"I've seen you drink before your debut."she chuckles, pouring herself a glass."You see...I've been saving this for a special occasion. And BigHit's best soloist's birthday just might make the cut."

"Well, if you insist."I smile meekly, taking a long sip of the alcoholic beverage."Shame on you, letting me drink."

"Hey! If you die from alcohol poisoning it'll be my fault, so trust me I'll make sure you'll survive being tipsy."she promises, taking a large swig of sake.

After a few cups and some laughs here and there, our highs were quite noticeable. Mostly the random spilling of secrets, telling jokes that make no sense, and laughing until our throats felt sore. Sure this wasn't my first time drinking, but I've never felt this giddy before. I remember back to my sixteenth birthday when I basically drowned myself in vodka at a high school slumber party with my friends as a dare, sure it was hangover fest the day after but it was fun. And now, knowing I was drinking because of my own emotions made the whole ordeal a bit more special.

'Why did I feel so depressed in the first place?'

Soon after drinking the bottle dry, my manager and I stayed in our seats while she called over a driver to take me to my dorm. It was already around lunch time when she led me to the entrance of the building, holding her alcohol unlike me. I was seated in the back of the car when the driver drove me to the dorm. My vision was slightly blurred as I looked at the buildings and trees the vehicle bypassed. I reached the dorm and thanked the driver before walking out of the car and swaying into the building. I took the elevator to my dorm this time, feeling a bit sick and drowsy at the moment. By the time I reached the fourth floor I noticed someone standing in front of the door across from me.

'Probably one of the guys.'

"Hello Roxi, how are you?"

"Hi Jin-oppa, I'm good how about you?"I greet, putting on my most somber look.

"You sure about that? You seem a bit out of it."he questions jokingly, pulling down his face mask under his chin."Your cheeks are so red, have you been drinking?"

I could tell he was just playing around to get me embarrassed, so I just chuckled and covered my face."Is it that noticeable?"

"Wait so you're serious?"his eyes widen for a moment, quickly returning to their normal gaze while a sigh passes his lips."You're too young to be drinking alone hear me?"

"I know I know, it's just...I think I had a reason."I dug through my mind, trying to remember what happened this morning, but nothing came up.

"The only reason someone should drink is if they're celebrating."Jin scolded, wagging a finger at me."You aren't celebrating anything today are you?"

Again, my mind went blank. Was I celebrating something today? It felt like all I got in return was static, and the thoughts in my head were just draining away with each breath.

"...No, I don't think so."I chuckle, holding my head."I should just head to bed. Yoongi-oppa will be back soon so I think I'll be alright."

"Oh, Suga's staying at his studio with all the other members tonight. They were working on a few dance moves and Tae went up to me saying 'Hyung, you should go home and rest. You look like a monster.'"Jin smiles, poking his cheeks with his fingers; trying to hide his tired eyes."I look like a monster don't I?"

"No no! I think Jin-oppa looks really handsome today!"I compliment.

"Aw thank you Roxi!"he smiles, petting my head due to my shorter stature."But remember, it's dangerous for you to be drinking. Is your head hurting?"

"Well...now that you mention it."I mumble, a strong pulse shooting from my temple to the back of my eyes.

"Say no more, I'll get something ready for you."he says,"Want to rest in our dorm? I don't trust you being on your own."

"No thanks I need to feed my puppies. Besides, I have some bread in there that I think will cure some of the pain."I think, pulling out my keys."If you really don't trust me by myself then you can come in too."

I open up my door and take off my shoes, Jin followed in behind me. With the usual greetings and pounces from my puppies he went to the kitchen while I blinked my eyes in order to pour the dog food into the correct bowls. When I noticed my sight was just getting worse I shook my head and went over to the couch, faceplanting onto the throw pillow in the corner. Even the sound around me was so soft and buzzy it was like it was thrown out into water. After a few minutes of resting I realized Jin had sat himself in front of me and was holding my face in his hands so he could study my eyes.

"Are you okay? You seemed to be in a daze there?"he laughed, passing me a plate of bread."Were you just awestruck by my good looks?"

"Sure, whatever you say."I smirk, shaking my head at his comedic attempts.

After eating I felt much better knowing there wasn't only sake running through my veins. But the fuzziness didn't leave yet, if anything I would be spending today with this headache.

'I was sure I was supposed to be doing something today...What was it?'

Even Jin looked blurred as I tried focusing my eyes onto his features. Maybe drinking wasn't a smart idea. It was like his words were reaching my ears in only mere whispers, but I could still make out what he was saying.

"Roxi? Do you need anything else? Does your head still hurt?"

I wanted to tell him he was asking the wrong questions, because the answers were so obvious. I opened my mouth, waiting for something to come out. My eyes were glazing over, the world looked so blurry and the sound fluctuated with every sharp move I made.

"Roxi...Roxi...Roxi..."

That was all I could make out from Jin's harsh calls, trying to reach me. He was only a foot away, but the way he yelled seemed so...desperate. My breathing slowed and my sight was slightly regained.

'It's so hard for me to think straight...'

I blinked and my eyes met Jin's, his voice was finally audible to me."Roxi? Roxi can you hear me?"

I nod my head and clutch onto his hand that laid on my cheek, he quickly pulled away realizing he must have invaded my personal space at that moment. Jin sighed, relief flooding his features when he found out I wasn't going to faint from alcohol poisoning.

"I was this close to calling the medics you know."he groaned, waving his hand in front of me to check the slow movement of my pupils."You scared me half to death."

"...I'm sorry..."I whisper, pulling both my hands onto my lap.

My eyelids hooded over slightly when I stared at him. Jin smiled and stood up to help lay me down onto the couch cushions. While he grabbed a nearby blanket I studied his face, because I had nothing else on my mind besides the fuzzy world around me. Jin's dark eyes quickly darted in correlation to his motions, the moment his soft hands brushed against mine made my breath hitch at the sudden sense of touch that hit me through the numbness I was feeling, and his lips. It was like they were coming closer and closer while he tucked me into the blanket's warmth.

'He's so nice.'

"Are you comfortable Roxi?"he asks, putting a pillow under my head.

'His face is so close.'

The more his lips came closer and closer, the more my curiosity peeked.

'What do they feel like? Why am I thinking like this? Why did I agree to drinking in the first place?'

"Jin-oppa?"I mumble through the sheets that covered my body all the way to the tip of my nose.

"Yes?"

I pulled my fingers out of the sheets and tried pulling them down with the weak strength in my arms."Please come closer."

Jin chuckled and kneeled in front of the couch where my face was located, his arms rested on the cushions while he propped up his face with his hands. The dark sky outside told me more time has passed than I thought, and the evening had already begun. My arms smoothly escaped the silky feeling sheets to run through Jin's fluffy hair. His face showed a hint of confusion when my right hand softly gripped the back of his neck, but he didn't dare move from his place when I sat up. The blanket rolled onto the floor with such a soft sound that it could make a needle jealous, yet it was enough for Jin to snap out of his own trance to firmly grip my wrist.

"What are you doing?"he asks, holding both my hands with his own."Roxi can you hear me?"

I didn't answer, my eyes only focused on his smooth dark chocolate eyes. And something in me just snapped when his pink lips moved as he spoke to me in the calmest voice I could ever hear. So instead of replying through words, I pushed myself forward so I landed on his lap while at the same time I pressed my lips onto his.

'They're so soft...'

A sound of surprise and a hand on my shoulder pulled me away from the newfound warmth I felt. Both my hands were released and placed on his shoulders while his were gripping the couch cushions behind me. This time, while looking at his eyes I could see a flood of new emotions. The confliction, confusion, and denial were all evident and obvious to my nearly blind eyes.

"We shouldn't be doing this...you aren't thinking straight."he says, breaking our eye contact to look at the position the two of us were in with a soft shake of his head."This isn't right, I shouldn't be taking advantage of you while you're like this."

My hands softly moved to his cheeks to force him to look at me before connecting both our lips once more. The softness of his flesh taking my breath away, his own shaky exhales and quiet 'stop'-s were almost enough to melt me into his strong arms, even if he wasn't kissing back. I pulled away and ran a hand through his hair, letting it linger in the back of his head while we both caught our breath.

"Jin-oppa...please..."I sigh, my common sense fading away to the sound of my heartbeat.

On instinct I returned, kissing a bit more forcefully with every peck. Every small 'please' that escaped my throat showed how much this tension was killing me inside. After what felt like an eternity, Jin's lips moved along to my rhythm ever so subtly. A sigh of satisfaction passed through my lips when he broke away only to push back with such force that it made my knees weak. His hands crawled from the couch cushions to the small of back, pulling me into his chest as he continued caressing my lips with his own. I didn't even realize he got up until I noticed he was hovering over me while my back laid on the couch.

"I always wanted to tell you that I found you so alluring."he whispered into my ear while I tugged on his silky hair in response."You're so beautiful and sweet...but you were always around the others...so I couldn't find the chance for the two of us to actually talk."

My eyes glazed over when the silent, yet meaningful, reaction was returned from me. All the feelings around me were so intense I could barely catch my breath when Jin's lips softly teased my neck. I slung my arms around his neck while he kissed his way back to my lips, easily parting them and grasping my attention with a quick tease of his tongue against my own. I was unaware of where his hands were until the cool air hit the exposed skin of my stomach, his fingertips teasingly ran across my flesh like they were trying to memorize my form. I released a quiet moan, the redness on my cheeks grew from both embarrassment and lack of oxygen. Jin lifted up his head so the connection of our lips broke, his tongue ran across his swollen lips as he looked at me with his loving stare.

"...You're so cute."he smiled, tucking a strand of my hair out of my face."You should get some rest now...I wouldn't want to cause you anymore trouble."

He gently tucked me back underneath the fallen blanket and dragged his hand across my cheek, leading down toward my chin."I'm sorry...if you regret any of this tomorrow."

Jin sits up from the couch, pulling up a chair from the kitchen counter and pulling out his phone.

My eyes lazily shift up to see the back of his black jacket."I just wanted to know how your lips felt like."

"Oh?"he chuckled, looking over his shoulder to give me an amused smile."Did I do something wrong?"

I shake my head and peek my eyes out of the blanket."No, your lips were really soft. I've never really kissed someone before, but I still think you're a good kisser."

"Wait...you're saying this was your first kiss?"he asks, an eyebrow rising to my statement."I don't believe that for a second."

"Oh really why not?"I pout, trying my best to furrow my brows at him.

"You seemed like you knew what you were doing."Jin says."And...you just went for it. In all honesty I find it hard to believe you would waste your first kiss while you were drunk."

"But I am drunk. And that was my first kiss."I giggle, tucking my head into the covers."If you don't want to believe me then okay, I'll be the only one who believes in the truth I guess."

"I guess you will."he sighs, walking over and placing a soft peck on my cheek."Now get some rest, I'll tell Suga to check up on you after you eat dinner."

"Thank you Jin-oppa."