25 "Why did she cross the road?"

2004

The wood on the chicken coop was a rusty filthy red color. The wood was so old that the fibers were splitting. I watched as each hen pecked the feed in the ground, some even dug up worms to devour. I sat with my knees against my chest as I watched the coop like a tv show. "Feeding the chickens?" A warm voice spoke behind me. I glanced up at my grandfather who was slipping the hat off his head. "Yeah.. they're eaten. They like to eat worms too"

"That they do" he grunted as he sat on a bag of chicken feed. "You really like the chickens don't you?"

I nodded my head. "I do. A lot. They're nice to me" I smiled. My grandfather placed his hat on my head. "Did you know theChicken is the closest related animal to the dinosaurs" he blurted randomly. I furrowed my brows to look at my grandfather as if he was an idiot. "Liar" I smiled. "I ain't lyin. Instead of dinosaurs being related to reptiles they are actually closer to birds. Look at their feet" he pointed at the birds. I smiled wide with loud laughter. "They do look like Dino toes!!" I cackled, I thought the idea of Dino toes was hilarious. My grandfathers grin was wide as he watched the young girl in front of him fill with joy. I remember laughing so hard I was going to pee my pants "frickin Dino toes!" My belly hurt. I was hysterical "you're too funny papa!" My grandfather watched me with so much love in his eyes. "Willie!!" My father shouted from upon his horse as he works beside his men and his cattle. He was only yards away from us and the coop. The little girl in me jumped out of my skin. "Quiet!!" He demanded. My smile quickly faded. I sat back down with my knees to my chest as if nothing happened. I bowed my head down on my knees with sadness as I continued to gaze upon the chickens. My grandfather also frowned before standing up. "Make sure them chickens eat. Can you handle that princess?" I nodded my head. "Yes papa""Good" papa walked away for a long while. I loved my papa. He was the greatest man to ever live. He made sure that l was happy constantly. He would always get me anything I wanted... although the things I would be gifted were always taken away or given away. I noticed the old man never came back, I didn't think anything of it until I heard loud voices roaring behind me. I glanced over my shoulder as I saw my father arguing with his father. Their words were harsh although I couldn't understand them from where I sat. I glanced back over one more time but this time my father had stormed towards me. "Hey daddy! Did you know chickens are dinosaurs!" I smiled. My father stopped in his foot steps. "Get upstairs. Now" he said as he was caught off guard. I frowned. "What did I do daddy?" "You're causing issues being out here. Get upstairs until I say you can come out" I stood up wiping my hands on the bottom of my jeans. "I didn't mean to.. I'll be better. Can I just stay out a little longer?"

"Now! Willie! Now!"

"John cut the shit! Let the girl be a girl! She's in the house all the time. Do you want her to become the next serial killer?" My grandfather defended me very often. My father ignored my grandfather as always. "Willie!! You hear me!?"

"Stay right where you are Willie!" Papa demanded. I stayed frozen in place. I didn't know what to do or who to listen to. My father was so angry. I wasn't sure why. I wasn't sure what they were disputing but I had a feeling it was because of me. "You know what!?" John shoved past me knocked me over as he rushed the chicken coop. "I.. I got the eggs today already daddy! I got 10 of them! Ten!!" I smiled wide as I assumed he was interested in the chickens. I dusted myself up off the ground to meet him beside it. My father's jaw was clenched as he watched the hens. "Isn't that cool daddy? Ten! That's almost an egg a year for my age!" I held up the basket of freshly laid eggs. "Isn't that awesome!" I smiled proudly. My father watched me as his face had softened. I batted my big blue eyes at him. "Did... did you wanna toss a handful to henny?" I questioned. "Henny?" My father seemed aggravated again. His fists were clenched. "Henny. Henny the hen daddy" I smiled at him as I scooped up the corse chicken feed in my palm then placed it in my father's clenched fists. "Go on. Toss it" I smiled brightly as I nodded to him with reassurance. Daddy watched my eyes. He watched my smile. I could see the moment he lost his mind by seeing his demeanor change . Suddenly, my father grabbed my hen by its neck. The hen gasped in fear as the poor creature freaked out. "Daddy! No! You don't hold babies like that!" I panicked. I held my father's shirt to beg him to let her go. My father stepped out of the coop dragging me along as i refused to let go of his shirt. "It's a fucking chicken Willie! It's an animal! There is no feelings to the fuckin thing! It's livestock!! Poultry! Not a fucking pet! Not a fuckin toy!" My father slammed the chicken down on the fence. I screamed angrily "no daddy!! Put her down! She didn't do anything!" I cried. My father wasn't listening to me "daddy I love her!" I whimpered. "John!" Papa bantered. The moment my father heard papas voice he was done. My father took an axe that leaned on the fence post without hesitation, my father chopped poor hennys head off. I screamed in horror. "Daddy!! No!!" I cried as I shoved him as hard as my little body could. I remember crying so hard my face went numb. It was almost as if I lost a friend. "She didn't do anything to you!!" I screamed as my father took my arms holding them behind my back likeI was a prisoner. I kicked and screamed as a whaled my tears louder. "What the fuck is wrong with you John!! You're a fuckin monster! A monster you know that!! All because that girl looks and sounds like your dead wife!? That is somthing you should be proud of! Not something you hate! It's not her fault she's gone John! She's just a girl! She had nothing to do with evies death john! Nothing! She's just a child! She's an innocent child!" Papa yelled as he shoved my father back. My father with one hand shoved the old man back. "You shut your mouth pop. This is my daughter I will raise her as I please! Now move!!" John was gripping to my wrists while he shoved me infornt of him to walk. I sobbed loudly. I was so heart broken. My heart was taken and stomped on. It wasn't the first time. It sure wasn't the last. My father dragged me all the way up to my bedroom. He shoved me to the floor of the room. "You're grounded. I'll let you know when you can leave this damn room!" My father yelled as he pointed. "This is the last time you'll disrespect me infornt of my men on my god damn ranch you understand me!!?" His finger pointed sternly with blood dripping off the tip of his finger. I cried as I pulled myself off the floor and onto my bed "I.. I don't think I like you anymore daddy.." I hugged around my pillow. "I don't think I like you very much.." I spoke quietly but also respectfully. My father's face softened again. I could smell the guilt. "Well I don't like you at all Willie" the door shut behind him as he left me to drown in my own tears...