home - edward sharpe

Surprise! Tw: mention of suicide.

I woke up feeling extremely hungover, which has become part of my daily routine...I grabbed my phone already prepared for all the texts I'd be getting from Rafe. Upon reaching my phone, I was surprised to find it dead. I had honestly thought I put it on charge, but then again I'm still fully clothed...I felt a frown forming on my face, as much as I don't want human interaction, I don't have a charger and it's not fair for Rafe to be texting me, probably worried just because I don't want human interaction.

I sighed extremely dramatically, but I can't be blamed, my whole summer is a practical joke, I deserve this sigh.I checked through JJ's closet and pulled out not so many options. I decided on a purple, palm tree beach shirt, which I could style, hopefully.. I left a pair of white denim shorts here from when I was shot, I was planning on wearing them on the way home after that day but obviously not a wise decision with the wound..

I pulled them on along with a white bikini top and the purple Palm tree beach shirt. The purple and white palm trees matched the rest of the outfit quite well . I pinned my hair back with a claw clip I had in the pocket of the leather jacket.I took an aspirin before sliding on my shoes and heading over to Rafe's house.

The walk there was so unbelievably silent, I like silence, but I also hate it. I can't even distract myself with my phone since it's dead, so instead I'm stuck with a pounding headache and my own thoughts which are worse than any type of physical pain.

I decided to stop in a corner store, I haven't been eating much lately but this morning I feel like I've never eaten in my life, I'm starving. I grabbed a bag of chips and a coffee, it wasn't fresh but right now I'm not complaining. The rest of my walk was fine, I saw some people heading off to work which must mean it's early. I'm extremely surprised I'm up then. I never wake up early, especially not with a hangover like this.. I watched as the shitty run down homes turned into well decorated homes with trees outside. I bet if you put a tree outside of dads place it'd be robbed by the time you reach your porch. Why people would feel the need to rob a tree? I don't know. But they would. Only reason that damn oak tree is still there is because it's probably been there longer than the house.

I like figure eight. I like the over the top homes with white fences, it reminds me of a movie. Whereas the cut reminds me of something you'd try and hide, something you wouldn't show in a movie because the ratings would drop. Either way, there's beauty in both. I love the view from the docks on the cut, but the view of the sunset by the golf course is beautiful too.

I felt myself relax a little upon seeing Rafe's large home. At least I have him. I stepped inside and noticed instantly that everything seemed still. "Rafe?" I called out while closing the door behind me. No response."Rafe, you home?" I called out while walking towards the kitchen. Upon entering the kitchen I didn't notice much out of place, besides the large French doors. I bet he forgot and went out or something.

Just as I was about to close the doors, I felt my heart drop as my eyes fixed on a group of scruffy teenagers talking loudly to Rafe. The pogues.

I quite literally ran over to them, not even letting them speak before practically throwing myself at them, pulling each of them into a tight hug. "Oh my god. Where have you been?" I asked as tears began to sting at my eyes.As to why I'm crying? I don't know. I'm so happy they're home. "Surprise?" JJ said with a small grin. "Not fucking funny." I said while wiping my tears, trying to stop the smile that's growing on my lips. "Where have you been?" I asked as I examined his face, noticing he's badly sunburnt. "Poguelandia, duh." JJ said which earned him a blank stare from Kiara. "We chased after da- Ward. Except we jumped off a boat.. and ended up on a random island. JJ was basically our mother. He found the food, but he can't cook for shit. Nearly got food poisoning because of him." Sarah rambled on while smiling at me and giving me yet another hug. "I'm so glad you're all okay. How did you get home?" I asked while only now realising they just kind of spawned here.. "Oh. Some guy in a plane, then he ended up being creepy so we crashed and stole a boat, ending up here." John b shrugged. "What the fuck." I mumbled. "I'm glad you're all okay, but im gonna suggest you all shower.. I mean.. I don't know how long it's been since you've showered but god JJ, you literally stink." I said while wrapping my arms around him one last time. "If I stink so much maybe you should take it as a sign to stop hugging me or you'll stink too." He shrugged. "No." I said while a smile grew on my face. God I'm so happy they're back. "I agree with Jules. I haven't showered in too long." Sarah said while a smile grew on her face.

"Hey, our parents don't know we're back. We'll most likely never see the light of day again when we go home, so why not enjoy one last night?" Pope said while nodding to Kie. I watched as Kie twisted her face before raising her eyebrows and nodding. "Good point. Race you to the shower Jage." Kie said before tripping JJ up and sprinting for the kitchen. I watched as JJ stumbled and fell before climbing up and running after her. "Are we gonna talk about-" I asked before I was rudely cut off. "No, don't. It's been like this since Poguelandia." Pope shrugged while a smile grew on his face. "You're okay with it?" I asked. I know Pope has feelings for Kie. He may not speak about them, or acknowledge them, but they're there. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" He asked with a confused expression. Hm each to their own.

Rafe and I sat in the kitchen, cooking up pancakes, waffles, eggs, you name it, we made it.. "Are you gonna tell him?" Rafe finally blurted after some awkward silence. "I don't know how to... I mean yeah, he needs to know, but how do I even tell him?" I mumble. "I don't know baby. I know you have a way with words though." He said while kissing my forehead. Not really. I'm honestly quite bad at English, thank god for modelling or I'd be a remake of my mom, without the success.

I felt my mood drop. JJ needs to know.. if I wait to tell him he might be angry at me for keeping it from him.. but if I tell him today his day will be ruined. "Rafe. What should I do?" I asked while dropping my head against his chest. "About what?" He said while resting his chin on my head. "Should I tell him today or tomorrow.." I asked while fidgeting with his ring. "Think if you were him. You would be angry if someone kept that information from you." He explained while tracing shapes on my back. I huffed at his response. I know he's right but it's fucking annoying. I hate that I have to be the one to tell him. I hate that I have to be the one to hurt him.

I was still sat on Rafe's lap as the pogues reentered the room. "Oh thank god. When I tell you I've missed real food, believe me.." Sarah said while sitting down and pulling a pancake onto her plate. I looked at Rafe who nodded, giving me a sense of reassurance. Fuck sake.

"Hey, JJ. Can we talk for a minute?" I asked while trying to avoid eye contact as if my life depended on it.

I mean what am I supposed to say, 'hey JJ, fun fact! That's not so fun, while you were in poguefest or whatever it's called, Mom died. Overdose. Surprise!' No. No, no. It's just a shit piece of news.

"Yeah sure, shoot." He said while shovelling a croissant into his mouth. "I think you'd want to hear this, privately.." I explained. I watched as a confused look spread across his face. "Uh, sure. Okay." He nodded before wiping his hands in his shirt and following behind me. I took him to the patio that was far enough from the kitchen that the pogues wouldn't hear. I want JJ to tell them in his own time. "I don't know how to say this." I started. "Jules, whatever it is, just tell me." He nodded. "It's about mom." I started, I feel like this is the best way to explain. "Oh?" He said. "She overdosed while you were gone. I'm so sorry JJ." I blurted. I finally after a few seconds got the courage to look up and meet his eyes, his eyes were glossed over and I can see he's thinking. "JJ?" I asked while placing his hand in mine. "so.. I kind of went missing, and in that time.. mom killed herself?" He asked. I felt my stomach churn at the mention of suicide. "We don't think it was self inflicted.." I mumbled. "Does Luke know?" He asked after a few seconds of silence. "Yeah. I went around yours, I knew you were gone. I just wanted to make sure." I mumbled. "Oh." Is all he said before standing up and returning to the kitchen. What the fuck was that?

Funny little story. I just got diagnosed with bpd... yolo. Anyway, let me know what you thought of this chapter! Also, I gotta say, I'm so glad the pogues are back. Oh and before I forget, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 3K READS!! I love you all, you absolutely beautiful people❤️🫶🫶