Chapter 82 - Distractions & Possibilities

Sadé's POV:

— Monday, The 28th

Today was Monday, and it was like any other work day from the house. Marshall was off at the studio today as per usual so it was just me at home alone.

I was sat in my office called the babe cave, doing some important documentation and signing paperwork for my brand. There was a lot that needed to be approved by me and signed off since it was actually getting real now. I wasn't necessarily working on anything in particular because I couldn't. It was more like a waiting game until I have the photoshoots, which are a little bit of a while away. The sunglasses are already in the making, everything is legalized, I had already created and chose the designs for the launch, and the warehouse/headquarters is currently undergoing renovations. Plus, I had a huge workload lifted off of my shoulders now that I had employees actually working for me, doing background tasks. Everything was going great so far, and I was content with that.

Aside from that I had a few other important things that I needed to do today. One of them being that I needed to start booking up my schedule again. I had officially made the choice to come back to social media soon, and I was quite excited - Nervous, but excited. I was currently on the phone, discussing it in more detail via FaceTime.

"Alright so I'll schedule some promos from previous brands that you worked with before you took your break and some new ones as well. We'll throw in some award shows that are coming up, some charity events, collaborations, and a couple of photoshoots. We can get started as early as December or January if you want. That sound good to you?" Jordyn explained while taking notes, typing away on her computer from the suite back in Chicago.

"Sounds good to me! But you know me, it has to be big. I can't just come back with a video as if nothing happened. I want it to be dramatic, but still tame." I clarified, wanting to come back with a bang.

I didn't know how I wanted to do it or what exactly it was, but I knew I wanted it done.

"Define dramatic yet tame." She said in an amused tone, laughing at my antics.

"Ya' know, something cool. I'm not saying dramatic as in the party I threw, but I want it to be a special kind of video to tell everyone I'm back, and I'm here to stay. Something just showing people that I can't be fucked with. Because I am THAT girl at the end of the day." I enthused, feeling confident.

"Mhmm. Okay. We can see what we can do."

"Yes!" I squealed, happy to have gotten my way once again.

"I am proud of you though. I know it was hard on you after everything that happened. I'm glad you made progress. I remember how broken you were when it first happened and when you found everything out. Now look at you, ready to get back into it and move forward. I'm happy for you, sis." She said sincerely, making me smile.

"Thank you. I couldn't have done it without the help of you and Marshall, honestly." I thanked her quietly.

That was the truth. Those two really did get me through it all. Of course there was other people who helped me along the way, like Alabama and Hailie, but those two really did the most. Marshall for obvious reasons: Coming in and helping me get back on my feet, supporting me, motivating me, and really just giving me a shoulder to cry on. Then there was Jordyn who did a lot of the legal things like working with the police & lawyer, helping me take a break from social media and YouTube, making sure I was okay, calling me everyday to see if there was anything she could do, and more. I really was thankful for them one hundred and ten percent.

"Speaking of which, I'm ready to find a new apartment. Somewhere I can call my new home."

"You sure?" She hestitated.

"Positive. I love it here, but Marshall and I already talked about it in more detail yesterday. He said he'd support me and even join me in the process." I confirmed.

"Okay, I'll set a few days aside within the next upcoming weeks so that you can have time to tour some places. You also have a few meetings you need to host before the holidays in Chicago anyways so it'll be the perfect time." She said, writing a few dates down on her calendar.

"Okay cool."

I continued on with my tasks throughout the day until I was done. I was quite busy despite the vast amount of free time I had. I stayed focus, getting everything done that was needed of me.

Marshall's POV:

— Meanwhile At Shady Records

The meeting with everyone from Shady Records, Effigy Studios, and my team had finally come to a conclusion. From the second I entered into work, I was in meetings - All day long, even in the early morning. I was bored out of mind because I hate meetings. I know a lot of them had to do with me, but did I really have to be there? I couldn't just pop in then leave after five minutes or something? All they talked about was the same shit anyways: Deadlines, press, reputation, music, marketing, blah, blah, blah. I was over it. It wasn't even a little over midday, and I was ready to go back home, man.

Everyone was filing out of the board room one by one, either leaving the building, going to their offices, or getting to work in some way, shape, or form. I was about to be the next one to leave when Paul asked me to stay back. I mentally wanted to slap myself. I can't catch a break with his huge ass. I took a deep breath in followed by a slow exhale, running my hand over my face. I sat back down in my seat, a bored facial expression evident.

"What?" I asked in a monotone.

"What? Seriously, Marshall? Did you not hear anything that was said in that meeting?" He asked me, seemingly frustrated.

"If I'm being honest here, no. No, I didn't. It's the same old, same old every time. I just want to make my music." I shrug.

"Well if you actually paid attention, you would know that you're behind on making your music." He snapped at me.

"No the fuck I'm not. I have so many songs done." I chuckled, not taking him seriously at all.

I been in the studio whenever I had the time. I was there like clockwork with the boys. The hell is he talking about I'm behind. The only thing I get behind is behind some ass.

"Marshall, You have about 20% of the album done. You need to have at least 50% or more done by the end of December. You're extremally behind and off track." He said dead serious.

Oh shit. The numbers don't lie do they? I've been working on this album since May and only managed to get 20% done, and he magically expects me to do an additional 30% of it within a month?! When it took me over 6 just to get that done...

"Stop your bitchin' and complainin', Paul. I'll have it done." I stated nonchalantly.

"I don't think you understand. The album release is scheduled for anytime between mid January to late February. I can't push the deadline back anymore than it already is. It was already supposed to be released in December, but clearly that isn't going to happen." He said sternly, leaning forward with his forearms pressed against the table.

"I hate to do this to you, but you can't take anymore time off. I'm not granting you anymore time off this month until Christmas. No exceptions." He angrily forbid me as if I was his son or something.

This is my shit. He doesn't get to tell me when I can and can't take time off. If I want to take time off, I will. That's a load of bullshit.

"Yo, what the fuck?" I angrily exclaim.

"You're just too distracted right now. No time off." He reiterated, standing his ground.

"Too distracted? What the hell are you even on about?"

He gave me a knowing look, saying nothing. He simply raised his eyebrows, pursing together his lips, not wanting to elaborate. I wasn't having it though. If he claims I'm too distracted he better tell me what by. Especially if he want's me to fix it so badly. I give him an ice cold stare, refusing to take my eyes off of him or even blink until he cracks. Eventually, he does.

"Well, ever since you met Sadé you've taken a lot more time off. And once you two really started dating it's been a lot mo- " He started, but I interrupted him.

"NO. Don't you dare even pull that bullshit! Insinuating that Sae is a distraction." I raged, slamming my hands on the table as I yelled.

"I'm not necessarily saying she's a distraction. However, she is taking up a lot more of your time..." He said in an iffy tone.

"Look, I like Sadé. She's a nice girl - Very intelligent and hard working, but you need to get your head in the game, man. Don't let her throw you off track. You need to focus on your work duties, and stop taking so much time off for her, specifically. You have an album to complete at the end of the day." He argued back.

I scoffed at his words. This is unbelievable. She isn't a distraction at all. She actually motivates me and encourages me to keep going in so many ways. He had no clue what he was talking about. Yes, I have been taking more time off to be with her, but it's only because I'm not couped up in the damn house all day, writing like I used to when I was single. She actually forces me to do things, have fun, and go outside & see the sunlight.

"Paul, don't even go there with me." I aggressively said, standing up to leave, "I'm not taking too much time off. I'm just not a workaholic anymore because I actually have a life outside of work and the studio now, that I just so happen to enjoy spending with Sadé. You must've forgotten that I was just working on three peoples albums - two of which I'm still working on currently, have a record label to run, AND have my own shit to do on top of being a producer and rapper." I finalized with a glare.

He didn't respond. I took that as my que to leave since there was nothing more to discuss so I walked towards the door of the board room, fuming as I left to go back to my own office. How dare he. I can't believe that shit. He must've lost his goddamn bald mind. Fucking asshole, accusing Sadé of being the reason I'm behind.

I admit, maybe I was a little bit out of focus, but it wasn't because of her. I've had a lot on my plate recently: From baby momma drama, to working on the guys' albums, getting shit done with Shady Merch, producing, collaborations, Skylar, Karinna. It was a lot stressing me out, but Sadé has been the only thing to ease my mind. I don't know how she does it, but she does. She's like an angel sent for me. It's not her fault that I'm slacking - It ain't nobody's fault except for my own. I should've been on top of my shit like a grown man.

I decided to write this anger out and make a damn song out of it. That's what Paul wants right, more songs? I wrote him a song alright. And he's getting dissed in it too. It wasn't too hard of a diss because that's the homie - I respect him big time, but I definitely took a shot at him. The rap was titled Tone Deaf, which was initially about cancel culture and how Gen-Z tried to cancel me, but I really don't give a fuck about what they have to say at all. But it was fitting to include Paul so I did.

"You heard of Kris Kristofferson? (Yeah)Well, I am Piss Pissedofferson (Oh)Paul's askin' for Christmas off againI said, "No," then I spit this song for himIt goes..."

He told me I couldn't take any days off so neither can he. Yes, I can be that evil and make him work on Christmas Day if I really wanted to.

I wrote the lyrics, going into one of the booths to record it afterwards. I really liked it and already knew it would make it onto the album. I continued to work the rest of the day, really focusing on my craft. I ain't have any time to be bullshiting with anyone or goofing around. I needed to get back on track asap.

— Some Hours Later, 4:19PM

I looked up at the clock, Royce having gotten out of the booth while I was sat in the producers chair at the soundboard. We had just finished up his verses for the track You Gon' Learn since mines were already laid. The time was currently 4:19 in the afternoon, meaning I'd normally go home in about forty minutes, but I knew that I needed to work late and put in the extra work if I wanted to meet deadlines. I mentally sighed to myself, not really in the mood to do so, but knowing I had no choice. I pulled out my phone, hitting call on Sadé's contact. I excused myself from the room, waiting for her to answer the call. I heard her cheerful voice sound in my ear, and I immediately perked up.

"Hey, love! How are you?" She delightfully checked up on me.

"I'm better now." I chuckled deeply, smiling like an idiot, "How's your day been, pretty girl?" I greeted her back.

"Busy. I've been doing a ton of paperwork and booking my schedule again. Other than that it's been alright though. I'm making dinner. Your personal favorite, spaghetti and fried catfish with a side of cheesy garlic bread." She replied gently into the phone as I heard light noise from her movements in the background.

I felt a sting in my heart. That was one of my favorite dishes of all time after tacos. And hers was definitely the best. I felt so bad knowing I'd be missing dinner with her tonight. This sucks.

"Sae, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to rain check on dinner tonight. I gotta work late to finish the album and deadlines. I don't think I'll be back until late..." I told her in a saddened voice.

"Oh..." She said, sounding slightly taken aback and a lot less cheerful - More so disappointed.

"Okay. I can bring you dinner if you'd like so that you don't go hungry? Or I'll just set your plate aside for when you get back. Either is fine." She offered, but I knew she was kind of let down.

I appreciated her sweet gesture and caring nature, but faltered my smile because I felt bad. I wish I could sit and have dinner with her like usual. It was like our thing. We'd always eat and catch up on how each others day was.

"It's alright, baby. I'll just eat when I get home. Thank you though. I'm really sorry. I should've told you sooner."

"It's fine, really. I understand. You need to finish work, and that's a priority for you. I'm not upset." She clarified, sounding genuine.

"Thank you for always being so understanding when it comes to my work. I know it's not easy having to deal with me and my schedule." I sheepishly replied.

"Love, it's fine. I support you so that mean being okay with all the hours you work and travel as well. You do it when it comes to me so it's only fair."

That's true. Despite our hectic schedules, we always find a way to make it work somehow. It's slowed down a lot recently due to her break and the holidays, but still.

We spoke on the phone some more, talking about how our day went, how we were feeling, random thoughts that were on our minds, etc. - The same things we'd normally discuss over dinner except over the phone. While I'd love to talk to her for hours and hours, I knew I couldn't because that would be counterproductive. So I bid her farewell, telling her that I'd see her at home sometime later tonight.

I walked back into the room, taking a seat at the soundboard. I wasn't even doing anything, just randomly pressing shit. Denaun must've caught wind of my low mood, asking me what was up.

"You good, dawg? Why you over there acting like a bitch who just got done watching some soppy ass chick flick." Denaun tried to lighten the mood with a joke, but I didn't laugh.

Instead, I just gave him a glare before letting out a defeated grunt.

"Man, shut the fuck up." I groaned, "I miss my lady." I shamefully admitted.

"Shady having woman problems? That's nothing new." Royce clowned me.

"I'm not having woman problems. I just miss my lady, that's all. Not like any of you single dweebs would know what's that's like." I playfully clowned them, "Fucking Paul is on my ass 'bout meeting deadlines so I gotta stay late." I huffed out in annoyance.

"Damn. Well you are pretty behind man. You gotta step your game up!" Royce encouraged me.

"No fucking way. I had no idea." I joked sarcastically, causing the guys to laugh.

"She should understand. You'll just go back to her tonight. What's the big deal?" Naunie pondered.

I didn't say anything, shrugging in response. I really didn't feel like talking right now. I just wanted to get my work done, go home, eat, talk to Sadé, eat dessert if you get my groove, and then go to bed. That's it, that's all.

The guys eventually left for the day, leaving me alone in the studio all by myself. I wrote rhymes, and found schemes and syllables that meshed well together. I ended up writing a another song in the process. It wasn't about anything in particular, or for any rhyme or reason, the theme just kind of came together. I don't know what I'm gonna call it, or if I'm even going to include it in the album, but something is better than nothing I guess.

"Yeah, they miss the old meI think they want me to OD on codeineThey want my life in turmoil like in '03They want front row seats, I give 'em nosebleedsThey want me imploding, exploding, self-loathing, erodingI'm screaming at 'em with no regrets and I'm hulkingI'm rippin' out of my clothingI had to go see the doc like Kool Moe Dee (Yeah)Never took much to convince DreNever been swayed by color or skin shadesSince day one, Hellraiser with twin blades of a senseiGivin' up, no comprende (Woo)Tin brain, prolly fucked in the membraneSlim Sha— mind's in the gutter, but insanePen game like I just struck in the tenth frame (Screamin' out no regrets)Yeah, I live on the edge, I sit on the ledgeTo shit on your heads, I been on the benchForgive and forget is the only thing I'd ever live to regretHell-bent on revenge, you left me for deadI crawled out my grave, you better be ready and setMy enemies ain't put an end to me yet (I'm screamin' out no regrets)"

Sadé's POV:

— Meanwhile At Home

I had the great idea to have a relaxing nights to myself since Marshall wouldn't be back until late due to work. I had finished cooking not too long ago, and arrived back at the house after making a stop at a local store quickly. I had picked up some snacks, a bottle of wine, and a face mask. I took my shoes and jacket off at the door, heading upstairs.

I got undressed, taking a shower to rinse my body off and wash my hair before running the water for a hot bath. I lit a candle then threw in some bubble bath and bath salts. I sat in the tub, soaking my body as my muscles began to feel relaxed. I put the face mask on my face, closing my eyes.

My mind was somewhere else, not having too many thoughts in the world. It floated around between random topics, memories, and thoughts. Then it subconsciously floated to that of Marshall. My brain toyed with the notion of possibly being in love with him. Maybe I do actually love Marshall. That's a scary thought.

I thought back to the conversation I had with Bama yesterday. She mentioned how he literally bows down to me, but would never treat any other woman like that. That is true, she does have a point. Although Marshall isn't very fond of the female species, he never treats me less than. In fact, he treats me extremely well, like a princess. I know he'd never treat any other woman like that. I've seen how he's treated Skylar whenever she was around, and Karinna. I've also seen how he completely dismisses any woman that tries to get at him. He also does a lot of sweet things for me, some that no one has ever done for me before. For example, he'll rub my feet if I'm tired, or cook me breakfast almost every other day, or randomly bring me flowers, spoils me, give me kisses on my hands, tells me how grateful he is for me, randomly calls me beautiful during the day, and so much more. The list could go on for ages.

I would say that's just his sweet and caring nature, but he isn't really a sweet and nurturing man. Yes, he's always kind and gentle with me, but if it wasn't me, anyone else, then he would never be like that. I'm aware of that - I know that I'm the only one that gets to see this side of him. Was that him simply being nice to me or was it him showing me love? Could it even be both? I haven't figured that out yet.

My mind then floated to the thought of my ex, and how terrible that was. I knew for a fact that I didn't love Zach, I'd be stupid to think that I did. I thought I did when we first started dating, but then it quickly faded away. There was never any spark, no chemistry, nothing. Like Bama said, it was nothing more than a likeliness. Chile, I been knew that. That's why I left. There was simply nothing there. Not like how I have with Marshall. What I have with Marshall is so different. What I had with Zach was nothing, but a mistake. I wouldn't say I regret it because I wouldn't be the woman I am today without that hurt, and I wouldn't be as strong willed as I am, but I definitely would've rather not have had that life experience. But maybe the immense difference in feelings in each relationship is so big because I could be in love in this one. Like actually. Maybe that's why I'm always so happy, and why it's so healthy, and so much better.

I'm always happy when I'm with my man. Whenever I'm around him I get butterflies, and I get all nervous and shy even if I don't show it. He makes me feel good. Like a drug? It's like that feeling you get from a guilty pleasure, it's just so satisfying and brings you so much pleasure and joy. Technically speaking, according to the textbook definition, I am in love; Very much so. I am struggling to believe it though. My brain won't allow me to. My heart though... Well that might be a different story...

I was abruptly snapped out of my thoughts when I felt a cool breeze, causing my skin to be covered in goosebumps. Only was it then, that I had realized how long I was actually in the bath for. The water had gotten cold and the bubbles had disappeared. I took that as my cue to get out and get dressed. I removed my sheet mask, wrapping my body in a towel. I quickly added some product to my hair, wrapping my edges in a scarf as I let it air dry. I moisturized my skin with lotion and body oils, slipping on a pair of pajamas. I left the bathroom unsure of my thoughts and feelings. All I do know is that a possibility wasn't out of realms for me at the moment.

I went to the kitchen, made Marshall's dinner plate that I set aside for him, then made myself a plate. I put the leftovers in the fridge, saving them for tomorrow. I grabbed a glass from the cabinets, using the step stool Marshall bought me so that I could reach it without having to stand on the countertops. I poured myself a glass of white wine, only drinking it tonight since I was alone. I don't drink in the presence of Marshall out of respect of his sobriety despite him constantly telling me it wasn't an issue. I've only done it a handful of times as a result, but that's neither here nor there. I just didn't think it was cool to do so. I took the glass, the remainder of the bottle, and my food to the living room. I sat it all on the coffee table where my snacks were, creating a nice display.

I sat down on the floor in front of the coffee with the fireplace on and a blanket wrapped over my small body. I turned to YouTube on the smart tv, watching some of my favorite YouTubers as I ate and enjoyed my  solidarity. I was a little sad that he wasn't here with me tonight, but it's okay. I know he's a busy man that has his priorities straight. I find it sexy how hardworking he was and how career oriented he is. He isn't the lazy type and is willing to put in the extra work if he has to, much like he is tonight. So I was never upset at him when he had to stay late or leave for work. I was completely aware of that when I decided to date him so I couldn't complain. I had no right to.

—

It wasn't until a few hours later that I decided to call it a night. I cleaned everything up, turned the lights off, and headed to bed. It was way past 10 anyways so there was no point in me trying to stay awake, waiting for him. That, and also because he texted me that he knew I was up waiting and told me to go to bed without him because he didn't want me to be tiered the next day. Somehow, he always knows.