Chapter 46 - She Needs Space

A/N Warning: This chapter contains mature themes, and themes of violence.

Marshall's POV:

— Friday, October 21, At The Party

I had been enjoying myself all night, spending time with my girl and friends. Usually I'd be ready to go home because I'm such a recluse, but it felt good to be out oddly enough. Sadé had excused herself to go to the bathroom quickly. I was waiting for her when Skylar walked up to our group. She hasn't bothered us all night and was entertaining herself with a different group of friends so why she was over here: I had no clue.

"Hey, Marshall. Do you mind if we have a little conversation in private?" Skylar asked me.

"Not really. I'm with Sae right now." I replied not really caring.

"Please? I just want to apologize for a few things that I feel like is overdue." She pleaded with me.

I thought it over for a few seconds, debating on if I should or not. After a few seconds I decided that I would. If she wants to apologize for acting like an absolute jerk to Sadé, which is ultimately disrespecting me, then why not. It'll be for the best that we're on good terms considering she is someone I collab with often.

"Ight, fine. But make it quick." I told her, getting up from my seat to follow Skylar.

"Dawg, look after my lady for me. I'll be back in a few minutes." I told Naunie.

I trusted him with Sadé and knew that had my back. So if anything happened with her, he'd be there for her just like he would me.

"Alright. I got you, bro." He replied.

I walked behind Skylar following her to wherever she wanted to talk in private. We entered an area in the back of the building that was a little off in the cut, but still in the area. I stopped walking, waiting for her to start talking.

"Ight, what's up? What do you need to talk to me about or apologize for?" I ask getting straight to the point.

I didn't feel super comfortable in this situation, but I'll just hurry up and get it over with.

"So I've just had a lot of time to think lately, and I just wanted to apologize to you about how I've been acting and treating your little girlfriend." She apologized.

I wasn't really too sure I was buying it just yet honestly.

"Why the sudden switch up? You went from hating her to feeling guilty about your actions?" I asked skeptical.

"I don't think it was sudden. I think I was just upset about the entire situation and couldn't let it go. After my divorce settled I did a lot of reflection about myself. You know, like how the only reason I was divorced in the first place was because he caught me cheating, and how it's not right. And I just felt like a shit person and started thinking about how I was treating people, like my husband, you, your girlfriend, etc. so I came to terms that it wasn't entirely okay of me to do." She said.

I was studying her face to see if she was being genuine or not. I honestly couldn't tell, but I decided that maybe it's just best to go along with it for the simple fact that we were cool at one point and are still work partners.

"Mhmm." I waited for her to continue.

"So I am apologizing. I don't want to lose you as a friend, Marshall." She concluded with a faint smile on her face.

Everything she said seemed pretty legit so far so I guess it's time we both move on.

"Alright, I accept your apology Skylar. I don't think I'm the only one you should be apologizing to though. You're in really deep water with Sadé right now, and if she doesn't forgive you then I won't either. That's my girl and I care about her a lot, and what you did was not okay by any means. So until you apologize to her and hash that shit out I'm still not going to be friends with you, but we can be cordial." I told her honestly.

"I understand. So how has things been with you?" She started a small conversation.

I figured there was no longer any harm in talking to her for a little bit since I was already out here anyways so we were caught up in a decent conversation that only lasted a few minutes. She was telling me new details about her life and I was listening here and there. I only told her a few things, because something in my heart was telling me not to trust her entirely and to honestly just leave. So after a few more minutes I ended the conversation so that I could go back to Sadé. She's probably wondering where I'm at anyways, but I know Naunie is keeping her safe for me and probably talking to her.

"Ight, I gotta head back inside now. It was good catching up with you though. I'll talk to Sadé about trying to squash the beef." I told her.

"Alright." She replied.

I was about to turn around to walk away when she stopped my by saying something again.

"Oh, wait! No goodbye hug like the old days?" She joked in a friendly manner.

I looked at her for a few seconds, giving in. We embraced in a hug for a few seconds, seeming as a farewell to all the shit that went down between us.

When I pulled away, Skylar did the unthinkable though. She grabbed my face with both her hands, pulling me towards hers. Before I could even register what was going on, I felt her lips on mine.

All I was thinking was what the fuck is going on? These aren't Sadé's lips. This isn't right. Something's wrong.

But like I said, my brain wasn't registering anything. Almost as if it was working solely off of muscle memory, I began kissing her back even though I didn't mean to. It was only for a split second that I did that, but as soon as I realized what the hell I was doing, I immediately stopped and pushed her away from me.

"Yo, what the fuck?" I raised my voice trying to not cause a scene.

"Sorry. I- I- I just..." She stumbled over her words.

"You're fake as fuck. You know that? So fucking manipulative! Why the fuck would you do that?!" I hissed at her.

This hoe had the fucking nerve to smile at me, and start laughing as if this shits a game. She knew what the fuck she was doing all along. And my dumbass fell for it.

"Oops." She smirked.

"You're a fucking vindictive bitch! You know how much I care about Sadé and you fucking ruin it for me!" I got all up in her face now.

"And you know how much I don't care for her. You really thought I was going to apologize to her, Marshall? Oh no. Maybe to you, but never to her." She replied in this sickeningly sweet voice.

"Why the fuck do you hate her so much? What has she ever done to you?" I looked at her disgusted.

"Because! She ruined something that was good for me. She ruined our friends with benefits, ruined my marriage, and now she's going to have to deal with me." She said bitterly.

"She didn't ruin your marriage. You did that shit on your own because you decided to cheat on your husband. You're the one who decided to be a hoe. She didn't do shit to you. If anything, it was me because I fucked a married woman." I scolded her.

I began to walk away from Skylar. I can't believe that just fucking happened to me, man. And now I have to explain this shit to Sadé? She's going to be so pissed at me, and even more pissed off at Skylar. It wasn't even my fault, but then again it was. I decided to go and talk to her in private, I decided to forgive her, I decided to fall for her tricks, I decided to hug her, and I fucking kissed her back! I KISSED THAT BITCH BACK! Regardless of if I wanted to or not I fucking did it. And I let her do it. I let her kiss me because I wasn't fucking thinking! I was blindly walking back to the group when Naunie ran up to me and stopped me in my tracks. He pulled me off to the side and started yelling me. What the fuck? I wasn't even registering what he was saying because I was still caught up on what just happened less than two minutes ago.

"What?" I asked him to repeat himself.

"What the fuck did you do to Sadé, dawg? You fucking kissed Skylar?! The fuck is wrong with you, man?" He whisper-yelled at me angrily.

Yoooo... how the fuck-

"She fucking ran out crying! She said you were one of the worst people on earth right now. Why the fuck would you do that to her? The one woman who was actually fucking made for you. Who fucking respected you and adored you, Marshall!"

"Yo, stop yelling at me. I know I fucked up." I replied calmly.

But he was right. At the end of the day this is my fault. All of it. And I hurt the girl that cared for me the most.

"Clearly you don't know. Because she's a fucking mess! She's leaving right now. I tried to calm her down, but she just walked away. She wasn't having any of it, Marshall."

"Shit!" I cussed to myself.

"She's out front. She's leaving the entire party because she grabbed all her shit. You better fucking fix it bro. And nobody knows about this but us. Everyone else was to busy to pay attention to what was going on. Ima go sort this shit out with Skylar." Naunie said before dapping me up.

And this is why he's my boy. Because he always had my back, and he just proved to me that he had Sadé's back too. He's never yelled at me like that over no girl before. I really gotta go and fix this mess that I caused. I made my way through the crowd, trying to reach Sadé in time before she left. I knew she would be taking an Uber because she wasn't driving my car.

I ran outside, seeing her walking to a car, which I assumed to be her Uber like I knew she would be taking. Nobody was outside except for us. I ran up to her, trying to catch up to her before she left.

"SADÉ. WAIT, PLEASE!" I yelled after her.

She kept walking, ignoring my presence. Once I finally caught up to her, I grabbed her hand, pulling her towards me so that I could explain what she saw back there.

"Sadé, baby please. Just listen." I begged her.

The look on her face was something I never wanted to see. She had tears staining her face, her lip was quivering, and she wouldn't even look at me. She didn't even say anything. I feel like such shit.

"Will you just look at me?" I asked, unintentionally raising my voice as it cracked.

I lifted her chin up, forcing her to look at me. Once she finally looked at me and I saw her big brown eyes, I swear I felt heartbreak. Both mines and hers. She immediately started balling her eyes out, sniffling, as tears streamed down her face at an immense speed.

"I trusted you. I fucking trusted you!" She yelled at me.

Damn... I know she did. And she has every right to be mad at me, and not trust me ever again. I allowed myself to be in that situation. Even though it wasn't my fault because I didn't initiate anything, I was there. I allowed it to happen when I should've walked away and left. I should've never even agreed to talk to her after all the shit she pulled earlier in the first place. I'm such a fucking dumbass.

"She came on to me! I swear to you, Sae. You know I would never disrespect you. I- I..." I tried to explain myself, but it was no use.

"You what?" She asked below a whisper, so quiet that I almost didn't even hear her.

I couldn't explain this. Not her. Not right now. That's not what she saw. She didn't see me push her away. She didn't see me yell at her. She saw what happened, the worst fucking part, and chose to walk away from the situation like a mature adult before it got out of hand. So she wouldn't possibly believe me because that's not what she saw.

"I..." I looked into her eyes trying to grasp that something; Anything, but I couldn't, "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." I said softly as I grabbed both her hands, hoping she'd understand.

"Just leave me alone please. You really did a number on me. I need space." She replied somberly.

And with that she backed away from me, getting in the car, leaving me all alone. I felt a few of my own tears slip down my face as I just watched her descend into the darkness in the distance.

"Fuck." I whispered to myself as I wiped my eyes.

I tried to compose myself as much as possible before going back into the party to say goodnight to everyone to leave.

"Well it looks like none of this really matters anymore. It seems like we're both single, now." I heard a voice from behind me.

I turned around, facing the building now. What the actual fuck.

"Why the fuck are you standing there?" I asked not moving.

I didn't want to even go near her right now. She was stood by the doorway of the building on the steps.

"I just wanted to see how my plan played out." She shrugged.

"Your plan? What exactly was the purpose of your little plan besides to break me and Sadé up, huh?" I asked through gritted teeth as I walked closer to her to go back inside.

"To see how jealous I could make her. I'd say she was pretty jealous. Wouldn't you?" She evilly teased.

"Bitch, you're the jealous one. That's why you do this sick shit!" I got up in her face.

Just then Naunie came out, getting in between us. I glared at her angrily.

"I think you did enough, Skylar. Go home." He demanded, pointing to her car.

"Whatever. I'll see you at the studio next week, Marshall. Goodnight, Porter." She said as if nothing ever even happened.

"Fuck. You." I told her lowly, my voice full of hatred.

I walked back into the building, saying my goodbyes to everyone and grabbing my things before leaving. Nobody suspected anything, and a few wished that Sadé felt better soon. Naunie must've told them she was sick apparently. Good looking out, bro. Always one step ahead of me, having my back. I walked to my car, getting in my Lambo, racing home. I really needed to salvage whatever was left of our relationship before it was too late. I know how she gets. She'll distance herself and cut everyone off to deal with all her emotions alone.

— At The Mathers Mansion

As soon as I got home, I rushed inside. I didn't even bother taking my shoes or jacket off as I rushed though the house, looking for my baby. I called her name as I walked through all the different rooms of the house, looking for her. She wasn't here. I checked the bedroom, the guest room, the basement, my sneaker room, my studio, the living room, everywhere. She wasn't in the fucking house and there was no sign of her. I then ran outside, looking all throughout the property.

"Sadé! Sae, baby!" I called out without a response in return.

I checked the tennis court, basketball court, pool area, backyard, garage, pond, everywhere. She was no where to be found. I even asked one of the security guards that were on the night shift duty if they saw her, and they said she never came back. No. No, no, no.

I went back inside, pacing back and forth in the living room. What the fuck do I do? Where the fuck did she go? I called her and she declined. I called her three more times, and she declined them all. I tried calling her one last time, before it went straight to voicemail. Shit, she blocked me.

Then a thought popped into my head. She must be with Hailie. They're friends, and she wouldn't know where else to go because she isn't all that familiar with Detroit. So I called Hailie's number, and she picked up the phone after a few rings.

"Hello?" She asked into the phone.

She sounded like she had just woken up though... if she was with Sadé or spoke to her she wouldn't have just woken up.

"Is Sadé with you? Did she call you or anything?" I asked her frantically.

"No. Why? Why are you calling me so late at night, Dad?" She asked.

I literally felt my blood run cold. My whole body froze. Sadé isn't with her. She isn't answering my calls. I needed to think. Like seriously think. I kept pacing, feeling hopeless.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Umm, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Wait, why are you asking where Sadé is? She's not with you?" She sounded alarmed.

"I... uhh, no. She's not." I replied embarrassed at my actions.

"Why not? It's like midnight." She questioned cluelessly.

"We got into an argument. It was all my fault. And she left and she didn't come back home." I answered truthfully.

I never want my daughter in my relationship business, but at this point I didn't even care. I have no clue where Sadé ran away to, and I'm starting to get worried. She could be anywhere. Anything could be happening, and I'm not even there to protect her.

"I'll call her to see where she is." She replied before hanging up.

I sat on the couch, waiting for her to call me back. I fidgeted with my fingers, anxiously waiting. What if Sadé went home? What if she's literally on the next flight to Chicago right now? That would mean we're officially over if that's the case. I kept having all these bad thoughts in my head as I waited for Hailie to call me back. She called me back a few minutes later, after what felt like forever.

"Dad?" Hailie spoke into the phone.

"Yes? Did she say anything?" I asked her expectedly.

"You cheated on Sadé? Your girlfriend, one that everyone actually liked for once in the family? My friend?" She asked me hurt.

Oh man. Well I guess she did talk to Sadé. Thank god, that means she's okay. But now, I have to explain the situation to Hailie. Because they're very close friends, almost besties at this point, and if I hurt one then I hurt the other.

"I- No! Yes? I don't know... We were at the release party for one of my label mates, and Skylar pulled me aside saying she wanted to talk so we talked. And then she wanted to hug me so I didn't think it would be a big deal and she hugged me, and then SHE kissed ME! But my brain wasn't working and I swear to you Hailie. On my life, I didn't mean to kiss her back! It was only for less then a millisecond, I promise you, honey. And I pushed her away, but Sadé didn't see the part where I pushed her away. She only saw the part where I was too stunned to do anything. I would never disrespect her. I'd never cheat on her. I'd never do anything to hurt that girl. I- I... Hailie, I feel something for that girl. Something real. And I haven't come to terms with that yet, but this situation is only making it all the more real for me. I would never do that to her on purpose. You gotta believe me." I pleaded with my daughter in hopes that she'd understand what I was trying to say through my ramblings.

"... I believe you, but is Sadé going to believe you? That's messed up, Dad." She told me truthfully.

"I know... Trust me I know." I closed my eyes, balling my fist up in hurt and anger.

"She said she was staying at a hotel for the night. She didn't tell me which one because she knew I'd tell you, but she said she needs space to think, and will be back either Sunday or Monday. But she needs the weekend to herself." She informed me.

"Thank you, Hai. You're one of the best daughters a dad could ever ask for. I'm sorry if this hurt your feelings as well." I apologized.

"I know I am. You don't have to tell me twice. Just please make this right. She's my friend, Dad. I don't want to lose her too because you guys break up." She said in a gloomy tone.

"You won't. I'll make it right. Everything will be alright. Even if we aren't, I'll make sure you two girls are. I love you, goodnight, Hailie." I said sincerely.

"Goodnight, Dad." She said before ending the call.

I'm glad Sadé's okay and safe, but I just can't help but to feel this rage inside me. Not towards Sadé, but Skylar. This shit is all her fault. None of this would've happened if she would've just left me alone. If she would've just not tried to talk to me, my relationship would be okay. I don't know what came over me, but I quickly found myself in a blind rage.

I couldn't control myself anymore. All the anger, pain, and sadness all swirled up inside of me, and I couldn't let my emotions out. So I started raging. I went crazy destroying things in my home as I yelled at the top of my lungs hopelessly. I threw dishes, glass cups, plates, punched walls, shattered vases as I went through the process. I was just so angry at myself for letting this happen.

I felt like I lost her, man. Like she would never want me back. I lost her trust, something that I worked so hard to gain for months. She was a completely different person when I met her. She was so closed off and reserved when we were first introduced to each other. And she then trusted me. She fucking TRUSTED ME. She shared things with me that nobody else knows about her. She let me into her heart. She let me break down her walls. She grew comfortable around me, and I fucking ruined it!

It's all over because of Skylar, and because I'm too fucking stupid to tell these hoes "no". I ruined her. I ruined us. She'll never look at me the same again. She called me the worst person on earth. She hates my guts. She'll never love me... Even though I think I love her. I definitely have love for her or else I wouldn't be doing this right now. I wouldn't be freaking out like this. I've been coming to terms with that slowly, but surely.

What the fuck am I even doing? What the fuck am I thinking? She doesn't want someone like me. I'm literally raging right now destroying my own home...

I started to come down from my blind rage, realizing what I was doing. I came back to my senses, seeing the mess I made. There was shit everywhere. Glass shattered into millions of pieces, almost to the point of dust. Things were knocked over, and there was a few holes in the wall. Why did I do this? I ran my hand over my face, scratching my beard as I continued in deep thought.

Sadé. My baby, my girl, my lady. I fucked up big time. I walked towards the front door in the foyer and debated on driving to every single hotel in Detroit until I found her. But my feet was glued to the floor. I couldn't do that. She deserves her space to think, and to sort her feelings out. She doesn't need me shoving my own feelings down her throat. She needs her space and I need mines. Because clearly, I'm not safe enough to be around her right now. I literally just raged. I don't want to scare her. I don't want to upset her. And I don't want to say or do anything else stupid. It's best that she's at the hotel right now because she doesn't need to see or be around me when I'm like this. I sat there on the floor, taking deep breaths to calm myself down.

I didn't realize I was even crying until I felt a wetness on my bruised hands. I looked down and saw a teardrop on my thumb. I didn't even bother fighting it. I just let it all out. I cried. I allowed my body to feel all the emotions. That's something Sadé taught me to do. She said it's okay to cry, and that it doesn't make me less of a man or less masculine; And how it's good for the soul, mind, body, and heart. She's such a sweetheart, and is so smart. She's right, it does feel good to cry. I laid right there in front of the door in foyer, crying the rest of the night until I eventually fell asleep on the floor.