Chapter 14

Merry Christmas everyone :)Well it is here in Australia, so I figured I might as well post this because I'll be away on holidays soon!Hope you all have a great holiday season and Happy New Year! xx

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-Scarlett-

James didn’t wait for a response from me after he told me the three words I’d feared he’d tell me since we were both reunited at Seth’s birthday party. He left me in the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I felt completely baffled.

Sadness came over me and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him because he’s in love with such a mess of a person. There are thousands of flaws about me, especially in my personality and the way I treat others – and poor James was caught up in the centre of it.

His words struck a chord inside me because not only did they mean so much to me, they also made me hurt. I realized just how selfish I’d been and how poorly I’d treated James in the month or so that stayed with him. He saved my life, he took care of me and protected me but instead of repaying him in ways of kindness I used him for my own benefits.

The worst part was the fact that he realized that. He didn’t think he was good enough for me but he didn’t love me any less because of it, and instead he loved me even more.

What he doesn’t know is that I do love him. I just don’t deserve him.

Five days later, Christmas Day

The day after our careless mistake his stylist, Nana, arrived and she did a huge favour for me by accompanying me to the pharmacy to buy the morning after pill, and pregnancy tests. Originally, I suggested the idea to get Betsy to buy them. According to James, his mother is quite famous around Palo Alto and people knew exactly who she was, plus he didn’t want her to know.  He didn’t want me buying them either.  Though James and I kept a low profile in LA, we both weren’t too sure if any candid photographs of us were taken and uploaded onto the internet.

With the advice I was given, I needed to wait at least ten days before taking the first pregnancy test.  Surprisingly, things weren’t awkward between James and I – which I was incredibly thankful for. He was dealing with it better than I was. In fact, things were pretty much back to normal with us despite the fact I could be carrying his child.

My worries about the whole ordeal slipped my mind from time to time, mostly because James has such a wonderful family. His grandmother Mitzie and his brothers Tom and Dave were absolutely hilarious and incredibly kind to me. While James was out last minute gift shopping with his mother, they sat me down and told me stories of James’s childhood and showed me every single album of his baby photos.

I had a long chat with Nana, and then Betsy on Christmas Eve when they both caught me staring at James while he danced about to Christmas carols whilst washing dishes in the kitchen. I couldn’t deny my feelings for him at that point – and I was very thankful for the advice they gave me. They both whipped me into place pretty well.

“Come on,” James said, pulling me by the legs, “Get out of bed.”

“Merry Christmas to you too,” I mumbled, still half asleep.

He laughed, “Scarlett come on, everyone is waiting for you.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 10am,” He replied, which caused me to leap out of bed. 

“What the hell why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” I exclaimed, hurriedly getting dressed and following him out to the living room.

“There she is!” Mitzie chirped a devilish smirk on his face. “We thought James was already un-wrapping his gift for you,” She winked.

Everyone erupted with laughter, which made me feel incredibly embarrassed. I felt myself blush slightly, but when I looked across to James, he had his hand covering his face.

Ignoring everyone, he walked over to the tree and passed me an enormous box that was incredibly heavy to lift, almost causing me to topple over.

“James wanted your present to be first,” Betsy said.

“Yeah, it’s important,” James explained. “Need some help there Scar?”

I nodded, letting James hold it up whilst I ripped the paper off. Pushing the wrapping aside revealed a hard, black case reinforced by aluminium edges which looked similar to the many cases I already own. 

I looked up at him and narrowed my eyes, “James…what have you done?”

“Open it,” He grinned. “The lock combination is your birthday.”

As I opened the case, I gasped in shock as I looked down at the ultimate vintage guitar of my dreams. I couldn’t believe it. I gently ran my fingers along the mahogany neck down to the gorgeous mahogany fretboard to get a feel of the strings. The gold plaited hardware and white finish made it an absolutely breathtaking instrument to look at. I just couldn’t believe it.

“James,” I said slowly, “If this is what I think it is, I might have to kill you.”

“What is it?” Betsy asks excitedly as I turned the case around for everyone to see.

James nodded, “Yeah. That’s a ‘57 Gretsch White Penguin. I know you’ve always wanted one.”

I knew the cost of it wouldn’t have even put a dent in James’ bank account, but the fact he spent that much money on me. I gently ran my fingers along the fretboard of the guitar, “These are so rare…”

"Yeah," He chuckled, "I learnt that on my search for it."

"James I…I honestly don’t know what to say," I stuttered, "Thank you."

"You deserve it Scar," He smiled as I handed over my two gifts to him. I leaned into his ear, “Don’t open the smaller one. I finally got the rolls of film developed from our trip to Italy...”

His eyes widened, “You mean…?”

“Yep.”

 “That’s…generous of you.”

Taking the small box from me, he placed it in the pocket of his coat before sitting down and unwrapping his other gift.

“Whoa!” James exclaimed, holding up a framed propaganda poster of his character Alien, from Spring Breakers. Looking in the corner of the poster at the artist signature, he gawked at me, “Shephard Fairey?”

I nodded, smiling at the way he was staring at it.

“How?!”

“He contacted me last month to tell me that he likes my band. We recently worked together on some album art,” I grinned, "I have another present for you as well." Grabbing his hand and helping him stand up.

"We won’t be too long, don’t wait for us."

“Take as much time as you need,” Betsy smiled.

James looked at me, a confused expression on his face as we made our way through the house, “It’s freezing outside, are you insane?”

"Just a little bit."

"Scarlett, you’ve already given me enough," He sighed as I lead him out the door. "You being here is enough for me--"

"--Close your eyes," I instructed.

Raising his brows, he closed his eyes. I leaned forward and kissed him, slowly and tenderly. I felt him smile against my lips, which made my heart race within my chest. His hands, on my waistsoon found the back of my neck and my cheek whilst he kissed me back.

When we pulled apart, soft brown eyes were staring right at me, searching for answers.

"I love you."

I watched as his eyes widened before he relaxed into a smile. Lifting me up, he spun me around on the spot. Laughing, I begged him to put me down.

"I can’t believe you just said that," He grinned, repetitively kissing my lips or my neck, "I love you too, Scarlett."

Hand in hand, we made our way back inside, our small gesture of public affection was enough for a cheer to erupt from the entire family.

Holding the other end of a Bon-Bon to me, I held on as Betsy counted 10-1 go, everyone pulling their ends on the “go.”

James won the prize, one of those corny Christmas riddles plus a purple paper crown which he placed on my head. When he looked at me I got lost in the way his smile made the corner of his eyes wrinkle up.

~*~

His arms were wrapped around me the entire time, his eyes never breaking contact with my own. I buried my face in his neck, biting down to mute my volume as I called out his name.

James sighed in content, his warm breath tickling the goose bumps on my skin.

"Merry Christmas, James," I whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Scar," He smiled, his lips gently brushing along mine. I rested my forehead against his whilst my fingers softly danced along the contours of his bare skin. "You’re all I could have ever wished for."

I didn’t want to tell James how I could care less about Christmas out of fear that it would ruin what made it special for him or his family. When I decided to stay here for the holiday season, I was worried that my negativity towards this time of the year would show through - but it didn’t.

I found myself having a cheerful time as opposed to a miserable one which would have been spent alone in Melbourne, in my living room to be exact, watching terrible sitcoms and wishing I enjoyed alcohol enough to drink until I saw white light.

Surrounded by this family and with James by my side, I suddenly felt a change of heart as I began to realize what makes it so special.

Maybe next year, it won’t just be James and I – and the thought of that didn’t even scare me one single bit.