Forgive me

It had been two weeks since Jade and Tori spoke to each other. Tori was still heartbroken and Jade was still trying to figure out how to approach Tori. It seemed like a hopeless situation. Lunchtime was awkward. Tori and Jade wouldn't even look at each other and no one knew why except for Beck. He tried to get Jade to finally talk to Tori but Jade wouldn't budge. She didn't think Tori wanted anything to do with her so she decided she probably shouldn't risk it. Tori sometimes would decide to hang out with Trina during lunch instead. Trina didn't mind. She and her sister had been spending a lot of time together. Trina thought it was great she was able to keep an eye on her sister and keep her from making dumb mistakes like not taking care of herself. For today's lunch, Tori decided to spend it in the library.

"What's up with you and she-devil?" Rex asked as he and Robbie approached Tori. Tori glared at Rex. She then rolled her eyes. She was glaring at a puppet.

"Nothing is up with us," Tori said.

"Are you sure?" Robbie asked. "You guys spent a lot of time together and now you barely acknowledge each other's presence."

"I promise it's nothing Robbie," Tori said. "Nothing is going on between me and Jade."

"Alright," Robbie replied. "If you say so. You never just hang out in the library especially not alone."

"I had a test to study for," Tori lied.

"Whatever you say," Robbie said. "You and Jade were thick as thieves. Whatever is going on, I'm sure you can work past it." Tori wanted to tell him how that wouldn't happen. You can't make someone love you. Tori just gave Robbie a fake smile before he walked away.

Tori would say she's doing better. She didn't have panic attacks thinking about Jade anymore and she didn't cry. Trina would argue differently. Tori still skipped meals, sometimes going a day or two without eating. Trina knew Tori was still suffering but knew her sister well enough to know she was faking being okay. She knew Tori didn't want to worry anybody.

Soon the school day ended and Tori made her way to Trina's car.

"Where were you at lunch?" Trina questioned her.

"I went to the library," Tori told her. "I promise I ate something." Tori hated lying but she didn't want her sister to worry about her or force her to eat.

"Bullshit," Trina said. The universe was not on Tori's side. "I know when you're lying. You have to take care of yourself. I know it's hard but I need you too."

Tori nodded. She wasn't going to argue with Trina. That was a fight she'd never win. Once the two girls made it home, Trina began preparing a snack for Tori while began on her homework. Trina watches her sister from the kitchen. Trina does feel some guilt for blocking Jade on Tori's phone. It wasn't Trina's place but at least now she knew Jade couldn't bother her sister unless it was in person and if that happened, Trina planned to step in.

"Here you go," Trina said setting a bowl of fruit in front of Tori. "Eat this and you will be eating dinner later."

Tori ate the fruit and thought about Jade. Was she wrong for thinking that Jade would have fixed things by now? Tori felt she was dumb for being reliant on Jade to be the one to mend things but then again Jade broke Tori's heart. Not the other way around. It had been two weeks of silence. Not a text or call or even a hello when they sat together at lunch. Tori couldn't even find Jade's social media profiles anymore. It was like Jade was playing an intense game of hide and seek.

Soon dinner time had passed and Trina was adamant that Tori ate and made sure that she did. Tori decided to go through her text messages with Jade. She hadn't looked at them since things ended and Tori felt this might be a good way to finally close things. Maybe she'd finally feel completely better. When she scrolled through her phone she couldn't find the messages. That was weird. The only way Tori wouldn't be able to find them would be if either she blocked Jade or if she deleted them. Tori frowned she did neither of those. She tried to think back to see if she remembered deleting the messages. Nothing came to mind which means Jade was blocked. But that didn't make sense to Tori. She hadn't blocked Jade. There was no way Jade could have been blocked unless someone did it for her. But that didn't make sense because the only one who knew her phone password was Trina. Then it hit Tori. It had to be Trina. Trina had been so protective since the whole thing happened. Trina also had a habit of over-involving herself.

"How could you block Jade on my phone?" Tori said emphasizing the word my.

"I'm sorry Tori," Trina said. "You were completely broken and I didn't like it."

"Yeah but you can't make decisions like this for me," Tori said frustrated. She understood what Trina was trying to do but it wasn't her place.

Tori went back to her room and contemplated reaching out to Jade. She felt bad and felt the need to apologize to her. Tori was wondering if Jade tried to reach out to her but couldn't. That would explain why Jade didn't say anything. It's not that she didn't want to say anything. She couldn't say anything. She had no way to reach Tori except in person which probably wouldn't have happened with Trina interfering. Against Tori's better judgment she texted Jade.

Hey

It was a simple text but it would test the waters. Either Jade would respond and they could work things out or Jade would completely ghost Tori. Tori would prefer to work things out rather than be ghosted but both weren't terrible options. It would give Tori the closure she needed. She didn't care if Jade felt the same way or not. She wanted to be friends again. She missed hanging out with the other girl. If you would've asked Tori a year ago who she thought she'd be closest to in her friend group she would've said Cat or André, Jade wouldn't have even crossed her mind.

Meanwhile Jade read over Tori's text. It was such a simple message yet it meant everything to Jade. Jade missed Tori, more than she'd ever admit. She debated answering. She wanted to talk to Tori but Jade still hadn't figured out how to tell her how she felt. She figured she could respond to Tori and at least find out what she was blocked or find out if she or Tori would ever be cool again.

Jade: Hi.

Can we talk in person instead of texting?

Jade: Sure sounds great

Can you pick me up in 10?

Jade: Yep

Jade smiled but she was nervous. Tori was finally agreeing to talk with her in person. Jade didn't want to mess up again so she figured that Tori would lead most of the conversation. Jade didn't mind that, she hated to admit it but she missed the sound of the other girl's voice. Jade would never admit to anyone every stupid thing she missed about Tori.

Tori waited anxiously for Jade. She couldn't believe she asked Jade to talk in person. Tori tried to text what she wanted to say but she couldn't find out the right words. She'd figured it'd be easier to word vomit on Jade instead of trying to come up with a text message that made sense. Tori will admit she was surprised Jade responded and it didn't take long to get a response back either. Tori debated telling Trina where she was going. She knew Trina would disapprove but she needed some advice. She decided against asking Trina because knowing Trina she would snitch on Tori for breaking curfew.

"Where are you going?" Josh asked Jade as he saw his older sister leaving. "It's late."

"Well if you must know I'm going to see Tori," Jade said with a slight blush. She glared at her brother when he gave her a knowing smile.

"So you're finally going to tell her how you feel?" Josh asked and Jade sighed in response.

"No," Jade admitted. "It's been two weeks. I'm just happy to see her again. I didn't think she'd reach out to me. I doubt she even has feelings for me still."

Josh nodded. He understood where his sister was coming from. He understood where her insecurities came from as well. Their parents weren't exactly the picture of true love and their divorce had messed up Jade and Josh in many different ways. Even though Josh understood a lot of things about Jade but he still thought she was an idiot. He was waiting for Jade to get her act together and finally ask Tori out. He liked Tori and thought she was a good fit for his sister. Tori brought the best out in Jade and Josh admired that.

"You're an idiot," Josh said. "Please tell her how you feel. You're hurting yourself."

"I don't want to lose her again," Jade told her brother. "Scratch that. I can't lose her again."

Josh sadly nodded. He hated that Jade was hurting herself but he didn't blame her. Jade had been hurt enough.

"I believe in you Jade," Josh said patting her back.

"Thanks," Jade mumbled as she got into her car. Her mind was blank on the ride to the Vega household. Jade found herself listening to the music Tori loved. Jade hated the stupid pop stuff but couldn't help but smile hearing it. It reminded Jade so much of Tori and all of the fun memories they had together. Jade was praying tonight would make things better and things could go back to the way they were.

"What is this shit Vega?" Jade asked cringing at the song playing on the radio. She decided to be nice and let Tori choose today's music.

"It's One Direction. They're my favorite," Tori said sighing. She knew Jade wouldn't like them. A lot of people hated One Direction and Tori thought they were dumb. One Direction was great.

"It's trashy," Jade said rolling her eyes. She gave Tori a quick kiss on the cheek when she saw the younger girl pout. Tori's pout instantly became a blush as she turned the music off.

Tori fiddled with her hands as she waited for Jade. For some reason, ten minutes felt like a lifetime. Tori was nervous. What if Jade tricked her and she wasn't coming? Tori wouldn't be able to handle that. Her heart was still too fragile. She wanted things to be okay with Jade. Tori anxiously waited for Jade to arrive while also listening out for her parents or Trina. She did not want to get caught being out after curfew. Tori wondered if she talked to her parents would they understand?

Tori's heart stopped when she saw Jade's car pull up to her house. Tori couldn't believe she was finally talking to Jade again. It felt like ages since Tori confessed her feelings.

Jade: I'm outside

Tori felt butterflies as she walked towards Jade's car. This was finally happening. She nervously opened the door and took her usual seat in the passenger seat.

"Hi I missed you," Jade said nervously.

"I missed you too," Tori replied.

"Do you want to go to our spot and talk?" Jade asked. Tori's heart beat faster. Jade didn't hate her and still referred to the field as their spot.

"Yeah let's go," Tori told her. Jade nodded and started the drive. Both girls were nervous. They both had a lot to say but didn't know how to say it. Both girls were also worried about what the other had to say as well.

~~~~~~

Title comes from Forgive Me by Chloe X Halle

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