Chapter 14

Shannon's drunk. Well, they are all drunk, except for me and Trent. I already had the feeling that the three of them were going to get wasted with the amount of martini glasses they've consumed in just half an hour. So Trent and I decided to go easy on the alcohol. Now, Trent is putting my sisters to sleep while we wait for him at the kitchen. I really can't handle Shannon alone since she is taller than me and she's a bit heavy so I'd rather Trent help me with her.

"Can I call you Lizzie?" She drunkenly asks slouched on a stool as I stand in front of her. Its quite adorable that she really wants to call me Lizzie when she's drunk but still calls me Elizabeth the moment she sobered up.

"Yea if you want to but I thought you prefer calling me me by my full name?" I smiled and she giggles. She kept giggling about everything she sees or hear and it's really entertaining watching her like this.

"Lizzie's cute too but your right, I really love your name same as the queen, Oh are you the queen?" She gasps and this actually made me laugh shaking my head. How drunk is she right now.

"Hmm, I love your laugh" She smiles drowsily tilting her head to the side but seems to almost fall over so I held the side of her face trying to steady her on her stool. "Whoops, I almost fell" She giggles again leaning into my palms and that simple gesture made me smile. She really is a bit touchy when she's like this.

"You're hands are so soft and you are so beautiful. Did you know that the Black Widow told me that you and I dated, like a real couple. I didn't believe a single thing she said. Well, its just fucking impossible isn't it. Me dating the Elizabeth Olsen" Her voice gets louder when she said my name yelling it to the whole apartment so my hand just immediately shut her up by covering her mouth afraid my mom will wake up by her yelling.

"Shh, Shan can we be quiet, a little less louder okay?" She nods vigorously so I slowly take off my hand on her mouth watching her closely but all she did was giggle again.

"I'm sorry" She whispers this time. Suddenly Trent comes from the living room to us with a worried look on his face and I'd figure that's because of the Shannon's yelling.

"What happened?" He asks as he walks towards us. "I heard yelling" I looked at Shannon who is currently still giggling in her seat before saying.

"Oops that was me" She whispers. If were on different circumstances I might've showered her with too many kisses. God she's so adorable. I never thought I'll admit this but I really miss drunk Shannon.

"Alright let's get you to bed." Trent takes Shannon's arm and swung it around his neck before pulling her up and start to walk with me following behind them.

"Wait, we forgot Lizzie." She says stopping in her tracks. She turns around and looks at me holding her hand out but for some reason, I just looked at it. "Come on hold my hand" She says again.

"Liz can you just hold her hand. She's fucking heavy if you don't know that." Trent sighs so without thinking through it I gave her my hand sending electricity shocks into my body even more when she laced our fingers together and pulling me to her side. I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks as she does this. Fuck! Keep it together Lizzie. She's just drunk.

"Alright let's go" I shake my head smiling whileTrent rolls his eyes as we go to the room across mine. "Oh Trent, I'm really sorry for punching you in the face. I still can't get over that after Deb told me that. Did it hurt?"

"Hell yea, you could really throw a punch." Trent chuckles.

"I'm sorry." She whispers, her brows furrowed with her lower lip slightly sticking out.

"That's okay bud. You're forgiven." Trent smiles as we enter the room but stopped when I was about to let go of Shannon's hand because the three of us couldn't fit through the door.

"Shan, we can't fit through the door you have to let go."

"Nu-uh, I want to hold your hand." She whines.

"Oh God, Shannon you can fucking hold her hand when we get in. Damn it!" Trent groans in frustration. Well, I can't blame him. Shannon is as tall as him so compare to the twins and me so that only means she's a bit heavier. With a huff she lets go, clearly disappointed that she needs to let go for a second.

"Alright we're in" She literally grabbed my hand and lace it with hers as soon as we stepped into the room. I don't know why but even though I know she's drunk and she might not remember this in the morning, I can still feel a strange connection coming back and now I'm having hopes again about this thing we have, if there really is a thing.

"Okay, here we go. God your heavy and a fucking pain on the ass" Trent sighs. "Now go to sleep, you'll feel that in the morning." Shannon giggles and turns to me still holding my hand tilting her head to the side before saying

"Can you sleep with me? Right here." She smiles tapping the space beside her. I was taken aback by her request that I wasn't able to answer back until I hear Trent sniggers on my side. I really don't know how to answer that when obviously, I really want to but I also have this feeling that maybe I'm taking advantage of something, I guess.

"Uhm, Shan you need to get some sleep alright." She doesn't say anything and let me tuck her to bed which is a good sign that maybe I can get off this temptation she's giving me tonight even though she still refuse to let go of my hand.

"Liz, are you okay with her? I'm so tired. I need to rest because I'm meeting up with some friends tomorrow morning." Great, it will just be me and her then. I smiled nod in agreement while tucking Shannon in. He then gives me a huge and tight hug before saying goodnight to the both of us.

"Come sleep with me Lizzie." Shannon says as soon as Trent was out of the door giving me that puppy eyes, that eyes that would lure me into doing anything. Damn she really knows how to use them. But I really can't, she's drunk. That would be taking advantage of her stupidly drunkenness in fulfilling my two year old dream of having to be so close to her again.

"Shan, you're drunk. you need to-"

"Please?" This time she pouts dramatically batting her long lashes at me and that seems to do something to me as I feel my cheeks getting hotter. No Lizzie, you can't. Keep it together woman.

"How's this, I'll stay until you fell asleep. Is that okay with you?" I say and she just blinks at me. I am now praying in the heavens that she would say this because J really couldn't take this and I guess they've heard my desperation because she slowly nods and smiles so sweetly.

"Alright then budge up." She moves a little bit so I can sit on the side of the bed with my back resting on the ruby upholstered headboard. As soon as I was settled she looks up to me with drowsy eyes and blinks at me. I really can't tell what's on her mind right now but her hold on my hand tightens clutching it to her chest.

"Lizzie?" She whispers

"Yea?"

"I'm sorry" I let out a soft chuckle trying to figure out what she was apologizing for but I got nothing really.

"For what?"

"For not remembering us." She whispers moving her head closer to my side. Hearing that makes me want to rip my heart out of my chest and curse fate from doing it. But then I realize there were good things that came with it. Alright, that might sounds so horrible but hear me out. She doesn't have depression or anxiety anymore, not that I know of, or even panic attacks. She's happy I can tell just by the way she acts around us and I can see her every time I look into her eyes. Basically, she's back to her old self. Its bittersweet, because I'm starting to think that maybe our relationship shouldn't have happened in the first place.

"Well, it's really not your fault is it? It was an accident" I whispered staring down at her and that's when I saw, a scar near her hairline and its only now, I noticed it.

"Accident? or a suicide? Hmm. What does depression feels like?" She whispers squeezing my hand."They told me I was severely depressed when I've done it. I don't quite understand that because in my mind, I have never felt it before." What does it feel like to have depression. What do I tell her, its a like a sinking hole you can't get out or being stuck in complete nothingness. I could ramble on and on about it because I've felt it and its fucking horrible, but what good will that actually do to her? Nothing.

"You don't want to know Shan. It's better if you don't know." I whispered and she looks up to me again and asks,

"Have you felt it before?" She whispers. Yes, I have. When you left. I want to tell her that so bad but nothing good comes with it right? I got over it. I think, I'm not so sure, maybe with her being here is suppressing that at the moment.

"Just go to sleep now Shan-"

"You felt it before haven't you?" I swallowed the lump forming behind my throat and just hummed in response nodding my head slightly in support to that. Her eyes stared at me intensely with a complete blank expression on her face before pulling herself up resting her back against the headboard so we're on the same level.

"Lizzie?" She started stroking her thumb on the back of my hand that is still clasped with hers. "Why are you sad?"

"What do you mean? I'm not sad." I deny portraying a confused look on my face with a soft giggle just to masked it. She smiled and tilts her head.

"Maybe, but sometimes you are." I look away from her intense stare and think of what I'll say and somehow I couldn't even string a sentence in my head right now. Words are all jumbled and nothing even make sense if you put them all together and nowhere near to describe what I am feeling right now. What am I feeling right now?

"I'm fine Shan" I whispered trying to convince myself that I really am fine. She shakes our hands together making me turn to her just to realize how close her face to mine. So close, I can smell the alcohol in her breath. The distance is making my heart race in my chest and send mymind into overdrive.

"I'm here okay? I can make you smile whenever you feel sad" She whispers as she rests her chin on my shoulder struggling to open her eyes to look up to me. What the fuck is she doing to me. I should pull away right and not escalate this one, but why can't I fucking move.

"You look more beautiful when you smile. It really suits you." She gives me a toothy grin making me giggle at how she looks so adorable right now. God if only she knows.

"See, Hmm. You're so beautiful." She sighs. "I really don't get how someone could cheat on you." She mutters turning her head but kept it resting on my shoulder adjusting her position to get comfortable. I miss this, God I miss her and even though I'm on cloud 9 that this is really happening, the thought of this being forgotten in the morning still creeps from the back of my mind.

"Lizzie?"

"Yea?"

"I'm here okay?" A small smile crept into my lips as my heart is seconds away from bursting in my chest. A strange familiar feeling coming back to me like a tidal wave. She's making it so hard for me to not love her even more. This is impossible and I don't even know if what I'm doing is right. She squeezed my hand again snapping out of my daze.

"Where are you?" She suddenly asks and everything stopped. My throat closes up as a lump grew and tears automatically blur my vision. Its a good thing her head is facing away from me and won't witness me tearing up with a question that means so much to me but holds no meaning to her. Its just a question.

"Uh- Shan you need to sleep so I can go to my roo-"

"Can you just please stay? Please" She whines. "I'm not letting go of your hand." She secured my hand keeping in between both of her hands. God, how stubborn can she get.

"I can't" I say and without a warning she raised her head to look at me. Her face turns from confused to worried as she looks at me.

"Why are you crying?" She whispers sitting up straight. I immediately raised my hands to my face wiping the tears on my lashes. Fuck! Why did I let my emotions get the best of me. I should've know how to deal with these emotions by now.

"No, I'm not. I'm fine." Her brows knit together and raised her hand to my face wiping the tear. I can hear my heart throbbing in my chest with the contact.

"Why?" She whispers. "Is it because of me?"

"No." Lie. "I'm fine really, I'm just tired. That's all." Yet another lie. She looked at me with a blank expression. She blinks twice and looks away its like she's trying her hardest to figure out what was happening.

"Shan-" She moves and rests her back against the headboard. I watched as she pulls the covers over the both of us before glancing back at me tapping her shoulders.

"Rest your head here. So we can sleep already." She says. Really, she's not giving up is she?

"Shan-"

"Hey, its alright. Come on." She whispers in the most gentle way with those ocean eyes in pure sincerity and for some unexplainable reason, I find myself slowly moving closer my head rests on her shoulder and it was okay. She really feels home.

She's still my home.

And for the first time I caved in to her touch closing my eyes and let her pull me closer in her arms as we finally sunk down under the sheets just holding each other. A tear fell again as a I open my eyes. I don't know why but all I can think about is how I wish this moment would last forever because as soon as morning comes, we're back to being strangers becoming friends. Just friends?—————————-Shannon's P.O.V.Fuck! My head fucking hurts. How many did I drank last night. I stopped counting when I got to my fourth glass. What time is it anyway and why can't I feel my arm. I struggle to open my eyes because damn, my head is killing me.

White ceiling, a wall clock that says 10:23am, an abstract painting on the white wall. I might be in one of the guest rooms. I closed my eyes again and sigh. I really need a pill or something for my head, Oh God I feel horrible. I slowly turn to my side when I noticed a body next to me making me freeze, my eyes snapping wide open. Peacefully sleeping angel.

Elizabeth

What the fuck happened last night? I can't remember anything. I looked under the covers just to make sure. We still have our clothes on so nothing happened. Last thing I could do is take advantage of her and I won't ever take that opportunity. Nope, no way. I have too much respect for this woman laying on my arm to even do that to her.

But why is she here, wait. Oh God, I made her stay didn't I? That's a very typical thing I would do whenever I'm under the influence of alcohol a.k.a. drunk. Well, clearly she stayed and now looking so peaceful in my arms. Her head slightly on my chest with her arm across my stomach. It made a smile spread across my lips with my heart starts to do jumping jacks in my chest.

On second thought, I really am proud of my drunken self for having the courage of asking her to stay and sleep with me on the same bed. That might've took a long and hard persuasion if I could picture it. I'm starting to really enjoy watching her sleep. She has this cute little serious face she pulls that I just want to squeeze her, her breathing slow and steady it makes me want to fall asleep watching it. Then her lips forms into a sma- She moves. I held my breath as she snuggles further into me pulling me closer to her and it was making my heart race. A strange feeling comes back again. Cozy, warm, relaxing, feels like home actually, if you would sum that all up.

She hums in satisfaction as soon she was settled in my arms. I really don't mind waking up with this every morning. Wait, what in the world am I talking about. Am I falling for her like falling in love with her. I can't remember how it feels to be in love like be in that moment. I know I like her a lot but that doesn't mean I love her already right? I'm so confused and this headache is clearly not helping at all.

We stayed wrapped up in each other's arms for I don't know how long but when she started to stir and finally open her eyes, she doesn't scream or shout anything in surprise which made me so confused because I was expecting her to push me away and wrap herself with the sheets but then all she did was stare into my eyes waiting for some kind of reaction from me I guess. So I say,

"Hi, good morning." I smiled. She stayed still for a good few seconds just looking at me and I can't seem to read what she's thinking but its scaring me though.

"Uh H-Hi, I'm sorry" She was about to pull away but for some reason, I pulled her closer to me wrapping her in my arms like my body has a mind of its own. The typical sober Shannon would probably freak out right now but this feels so good at the moment I don't want it to end just yet.

"Uh Shan?"

"Hmm?"

"You're squeezing too tight." She croaks so I immediately loosen my arms a bit but I kept it around her. It took a while for her to cave in but it was worth it. The best feeling I have for as much as I can remember.

"You're so warm" I say smiling to myself like a fool. I was having the moment of my life until I felt her slightly pull back and looks up to me with worry, confusion and pure fear in her eyes. What is happening?

"This is a bad idea.I'm sorry" She mutters pulling away from me completely and the next thing I knew she was out of the door, just like that. Shit! Did I just crossed a line. What the fuck just happened, Did I freaked her out?

What have I done?