chapter 32 | In your eyes

"Just tell me, please. I'm not okay."

"I..." she stares into my eyes, biting her lips but behaving in a way she never did before. "I'm not asking you to give me an answer, or to tell me anything at all," she does not get to the point yet, increasing the amount of fright inside of me. "I...I'm pregnant, Jungkook."

My eyes do not blink or move, my head slightly turning as if I did not hear this well. The entire house remains soundless, my heart beating hard enough to be heard as her eyes are looking deep into mine.

"You what...?" I frown, believing that I misheard this. "Jungkook, I'm pregnant," she repeats. "That is why I'm feeling like that...I took a test two days ago because of nausea I had, the sickness in the morning, all those signs..."

"I...Ok...When do you want to go to the clinic? I'll come with you," the only sentence that I have on my mind leaves my mouth, but her reaction does not match with mine. She gazes at me without even saying a word, her eyes expressing some kind of sorrow or pain.

"Y/n," I lose my breath, feeling on the verge of collapsing. "I'm eighteen. I cannot have a baby. This must be a mistake, what if you're just sick? You caught a cold or something...We used protection when we did it. That is not possible," the thought of it does not get accepted in my mind. This cannot have happened.

No word runs out of her, her eyes turning glisten. "This maybe broke...I don't know...I did not expect it either, Jungkook..."

"Take another test, y/n," I shake my head and refuse to trust this first one, but she sighs. "I did. The answer was the same."

"No," I cannot calm myself down, the anxiousness taking over me and making me panic, facing a situation like this one for the first time in my life. "I'm too young. I do not know how to handle or take care of a baby. We have the right to not keep it anyway, right? When should we go to the clinic?"

She shows me the opposite of what I thought by moving her head from left to right, seeming like she's about to cry. "I'm not ready, y/n..." some crushing pain leaves me faint. "I mean..." I exhale, fearing to hurt her with my thoughtless words. "I don't know..."

"It's fine, Jungkook. I understand," she nods, lying to me. She does not mean her words, it's evident, she's about to cry. "You can...you can go home. You must need...some time...I guess..." she clears her throat and steps towards the door behind me, so I put my shoes on.

I turn around once she opens the door and grab my bag, but I set my eyes on her, wishing this could be a nightmare. I check up on her reaction but discern the pain I must have caused with my reaction. "Y/n...I'm just lost...I don't know what to do..."

"Don't worry," she fakes a smile. "I knew this would make you feel that way. This is...understandable. You have the right to feel like that. I'm sorry for putting you in this type of situation. I should...have thought twice and been more careful..."

I bite my lips but gulp down, hating the tension between us. "Go home, Jungkook," she steps aside, probably wanting me to leave so that she can cry without me next to her. I heave a sigh, glancing down, I step out but look back at her before she could close the door. "I love you...you did not misunderstand what I said, right?"

She shakes her head but holds the handle of the door, barely looking back into my eyes. "I love you too..." she closes it.

I go home without even waiting, not feeling good at all fearing the moment I'll step inside my house and face my family. I honestly do not feel ready, I did not even anticipate this, I thought she wanted to tell me that she would like to talk to my parents, to tell the director something, or that she isn't in a good state because of something serious, but no, that had nothing to do with those thoughts.

Right when I cross the road, I see my father leave his car in front of the garage. Great.

"Hey," he closes the door, holding his briefcase. He fixes his tie around his neck and smiles at me. "How was your day?"

"Good..." I do not tell the truth but make my way to the door. "What about yours?" I return the question after almost forgetting, being way too lost in my thoughts. "Kinda exhausting, but fine," he answers, and we both enter the house. We leave our shoes on the side, and I take my jacket off as he does the same with his coat.

"Didn't you say you would stay with y/n today?" he mentions it, making me swallow the bitterness and fright as much as possible. "It was short, but she's a bit sick lately."

"Oh, really?" he places his briefcase on the sofa, gazing at me as if he was worried while taking his suit jacket off. "Yeah...a cold, I guess. Her voice is broken."

"Ah, but she doesn't have anyone to help her or something?" he drops his clothing on the back of the sofa and moves up to the kitchen island, and I shake my head. "No, she doesn't."

"I should maybe make sure she knows we're here if she needs help," he combs his long hair back and moves to the fridge, loosening his tie to remove it, but I head up to the stairs. "Did she seem tired or something?" he stops me to know more before I could get out of sight. "Yeah. A lot. She had to leave school yesterday because of that."

"All right, I'm going to check up on her, tell your mom about it if she ever comes home before I'm back," he surprises me, I do not walk up the stairs but look at him. "What are you going to do?" I watch him put his shoes back on. "Ask her if she needs some help, whether this is for her house, or if she needs some pills. I don't know, she already needed some help when she moved in but was too shy to ask for it."

"Okay..." some nervousness worsens my state, so I climb up the stairs to get in my bedroom. From there, I may be able to see what is happening between them.

'YOUR P.O.V'

The tears never stopping their way down my cheeks, I stuff my suitcase and wait for an answer from my dad after texting him. I knew Jungkook would be surprised, I expected it, but I never thought he would react like that and think about abortion right away. This hurt me so much, everything is my fault.

The sound of the doorbell grasps my attention, making me wonder who this might be.

Jungkook? Why would he come back?

I wipe my tears away and leave my bedroom to walk down the stairs, trying hard to control my emotions and stop crying. I grab my mask to put it back on, and I head to the door to open it and see who it is.

"Hello," Mister Jeon smiles at me, but his expression quickly changes once he looks into my eyes. "Hey, Mister Jeon," I force a smile, but he shows some worry. "Is everything all right? Jungkook told me that you're sick."

"Oh...I'm fine...it's just a cold..." I hold my tears back after hearing his name, but the tall man who faces me acts like he always did with me. "If you ever need some help, know that I'm here. No matter what it is for, don't hesitate. Okay?"

"Yes, thank you very much, Mister Jeon," I smile at him, feeling touched. "Do you...Do you want to come in?" I step to the side and lift my hand up towards my living room, not wanting him to stay outside in the cold. "If you don't mind," he grins and nods, taking a look in my eyes to make sure he can. Once I gesture him to get in, he enters the house, so I close the door behind him. "I don't want to bother you, I just want to make sure everything is okay with you."

"Thank you, this means a lot to me. I just feel a bit tired, but other than that, I can handle it," I reassure him about my state, hiding what I should not mention in front of him. "Okay," I clear my throat, staying as calm as possible. "Would you like some coffee or tea?" I lead him to the living room. "No, thank you. I'm fine. I won't stay for too long."

"All right," I understand and move to the dining table to tidy up. "What about you though? How are you? Is everything going well at your workplace?"

"It is, I just sometimes feel tired in my office, but at least I don't have too much work to do," he remains positive, and I smile. "Well, that's a good thing."

"And you? I noticed that Jungkook has been asking for a lot of private lessons. Doesn't that add you too much work?" he talks about him again, having no idea what goes on between him and me. "It's fine, I want my students to succeed, so I'll do anything for them."

"You're an amazing teacher, I wish I had one like you when I was younger," he compliments me, offering me some great comfort. "Your teachers were not like that?"

"Not at all," he shakes his head and makes it clear this isn't the case. "None of my teachers ever cared about their students' marks. They were just there to give their lesson and leave."

"But you didn't fail, so that's a good thing," I put forth what is the most important, but he chuckles in a soft manner. "You're right, but that would have been way better with a considerate teacher like you. I was shy when I was young, so I would have felt more comfortable with a woman who's sweet and calm, not one who yells and gets mad over small mistakes."

"Ah, I do have to admit that I never yell or get mad at my students unless they're disrespectful," the conversation lasting, he manages to calm me down. "I heard about that problem with some of your students. I hope you don't listen to them, you're an amazing teacher and woman, so don't let those kids bring you down."

"I won't..." I tell him, even though I often let their words get to me unwittingly. "Good, that's what you have to do," his lips form a smile. "But anyway, so you have everything you need? The food, the medication, and all?"

"Yes, I do. Thank you for asking me," I nod. "All right," he clears his throat but glances down, grinning in a subtle way. "You can always ask us if you want us to cook for you, if you need me to drive you somewhere or something. I mean, I know you won't do it, but you can also ask me when you don't want to go grocery shopping, I'll gladly do it, my sons would love to do it with me just because this is for you."

I laugh in a discreet voice, dropping my eyes on his shirt out of self-consciousness. "Thank you, I'll call you if I need."

"Okay. You have my number or my wife's one anyway, right?" he takes his expensive phone out of one pocket of his trousers, gazing at me to wait for an answer. "Yes, I do. I have both," I do not mention Jungkook's one since I believe this is better not to let him know about it. "Perfect," he gives a tilt of his head and puts his device back where it was. "Well, I think it's time for me to leave," he softly speaks through a caring smile.

"Do you have a lot of work to do at home?" I run my hands through my hair, and we both move towards the front door. "No, I don't. I'm lucky, but all the work I do remains at my office, so when I'm back home, I do not have anything to do."

"Oh, that's great," I feel some jealousy since I do not have this luck, and he grabs his shoes to put them back on but express his agreement. "Oh yes, it is, but I always have to cook and clean the house, so that's a sort of work."

"Your wife doesn't do it?" I cannot keep my astonishment to myself, and he straightens up, nor bending his long legs anymore. "She does, but I want to make sure she has some free time too when she's home."

"Ah, so you're a husband every woman would want, aren't you?" I speak a little too much, fearing he might not feel comfortable. "Am I? No other woman said that to me before, but that is pretty pleasant to the ear," his laughter becomes a bit more obvious and reverberates through the room, making me do the same without even realizing it.

Before he could go out, I step forth and open the door for him. "Take care of yourself, all right?" he speaks in a lower voice, staring at me as if he knew that I was pretending to be fine the whole time. "Your eyes are red and puffy...I hope you're not going through a hard time without telling anyone."

His words nearly make me cry, but I keep it inside the best I can. "I'm fine, Mister Jeon. Thank you for checking up on me, this made me feel better," I do not say much more than that, feeling the knot in my throat.

He acquiesces. "See you, and get well soon," he steps out, so I look at him and change my mind. "Mister Jeon," I gulp down, his eyes landing back on me. "Yes?"

"I...I'd like you to keep it to yourself, but I'll leave the country tomorrow to visit my father and stepmother for a few days. I...I just thought...I should let someone know about it..." I bite my lips, nervously, hoping for this to not be a mistake. "Really? They're in France, right?" he remembers, and I confirm. "Oh, that's great then. I hope you'll have a great time there, I'm glad you told me about it. Why don't you want anyone to know though?"

"Just..." I shrug, not telling him the truth. "You can say it once I'm gone if someone asks you, but...I'd rather leave without anyone knowing other than you, one colleague, and my superior."

"Oh, all right. I respect your decision," he does not ask to know more but kindly understands me, his caring smile always making me feel at ease with him. "I hope this will give you enough time to relax and clear your mind."

"Thank you very much," I bow my head, feeling relieved now that he knows. I do not know why, this just helps me to feel less lonely into this. "Have a good day and night, Mister Jeon."

"Have a good day and night as well, y/n. Enjoy your visit there," his smile widens, and he heads back to his house, allowing me to close the door and let go to not hold the tears back anymore. I walk up the stairs and reach my bedroom to finish packing and take a look at my messages.

My father answered me.

< hey, sweetie. We'll be both waiting for you at the airport, I hope everything is going well on your side, we can't wait to see your pretty face☺ I love you❤ ]

— Next day —

Wednesday, November 13, 2019.

8:20 am.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'

"Hey, what's wrong?" Dongsik notices the mood in which I am, standing before the classroom with the other students while waiting for y/n to come. "Nothing..." I lie and straighten my back, not leaning on the wall anymore. "Stop it. I can see something is going on. Is it about Miss Han?"

I shake my head.

"Uhm, Sir," one of the guys brings our attention to Mister Park, who is walking up to the door with his keys in his hand as if he was about to teach us. "This is not your time, it's Miss Han's one."

"Miss Han is not here," he answers, making my heart skip multiple beats. "What?" a few of us let out. "Why?"

"Personal reasons, guys," he opens the door and lets us in, but my heart races at the sound of those words. What the hell is he talking about? She hasn't texted me or told me anything. I and Dongsik both glance at each other, but he quickly understands I was not aware of this, so I take my phone out without caring and text her.

[ Hey, what's wrong? Why didn't you come to school or told me anything? Are you okay? Please answer me as soon as you can❤ >

"Your phone, Jung—"

"It's fine," I cut him off, rudely, but I step inside the room, feeling extremely anxious since I know the state in which she is. "Can we know at least something? This is unusual for her to not warn us about something."

"She said this is for personal reasons, so I will not tell you anything about her absence. Do not ask me again," he puts his stuff down, my heart still not slowing down as I feel like this might be my fault. She always talks about everything with me, but here, she couldn't come, Mister Park knows about it, but I don't? Why? Why hasn't she told me?

Maybe my father knows about something since he saw her yesterday.

I stand up from my chair without even thinking about my actions. "I need a minute, Mister Park," I go out and close the door behind me to text my father.

[ hey, Miss Han isn't here today, do you know why? Did she tell you something yesterday? >

I wait some seconds for him to see it and answer me,  and luckily, he sends a text in short seconds.

< I think she's on the flight to France right now, she wanted to visit her dad, but she seemed to act weird. She wasn't all right, I could feel it. Why do you ask? ]