Chapter 13

Ashton’s POV

I was having a great night out. I was talking up this hot brunette when I saw her sitting alone in the bar. I don’t know why I did it but I left the brunette and went to the bar. I ordered her favorite drink and brought it over to her as a peace offering if anything.

I handed her a lemon drop and she said “Thank you Frankie.” Hearing her say his name didn’t sit well with me. I had no right to be jealous, if that’s what I was even feeling. I’ve never been so irritated hearing a girl say another guy’s name.

She isn’t mine. I have no claim to her nor do I want one. But the thought of another guy touching her the way I have or just looking at her made me cringe.

And he ordered her a beer. I haven’t known Shane that long but I know she hates it though she’ll never admit it. She’ll drink it anyway if that’s the only alcohol that is available and she’ll pretend she loves the taste of it. But I see the sour look on her face when the beer hits her tongue and she fights to swallow it down. By her third or fourth round she is usually drunk enough to barely taste the bitterness.

Shane pulled me from the bar. She was livid. Angrier than I’ve ever saw her. She was shivering on the walk back. I offered her my hoodie but being the stubborn person she is she wouldn’t accept it.

“What the fuck is your problem?” I snapped at her. I was trying to be nice, something I thought she wanted.

“My problem?” she mocked. “Is you.” Her finger jabbed so hard into my chest that it was sure to leave a bruise. My eyes narrow in on her as I try to stop myself from ringing her neck.

“I can’t believe you fucking wore that out” I yelled at her.

“What’s wrong with this?” she looked down at her outfit. Is she really that blind? Her dress was so short it left little to the imagination. It was so tight around her chest I thought she was going to pop out any second. Usually I find that very appealing. I won’t deny how sexy she looked that night but guys were looking at her like she was a piece of meat they wanted to sink their teeth in to.

“Jesus, Shane” I growled. “You are so damn impossible.” She just gets under my skin so easily. I started pacing back and forth in her room trying to think of any logical explanation for feeling like this. “How am I – when you-” I stuttered over my words.

I thought after that stupid argument things would die down and I would get exactly what I came here for. She pulled me from the bar. That only meant one thing to me. Sex.

Then she had to open that goddamn mouth of hers. She asked that one question that makes any guy want to run for the hills. “What are we?” What is it with girls and wanting to put labels on everything? They can’t just have some fun.

I don’t do the whole girlfriend thing. I barely indulge in friends with benefits. What you see is what you get with me. There is no changing me. There is no fixing me.

But tell me why when I went back to my room that night that I couldn’t sleep. I flipped out on Calum and almost put him through a wall. Michael had to pull me out of the room to calm me down.

I just spent the whole night tossing and turning thinking about her. How I’ve never seen those beautiful brown eyes that dark. The look on her face when she told me to get out. How I stood on the other side of the door listening to her break down in sobs and imagined that she cried herself to sleep.

The next morning Calum told me how upset Shane looked. He said she a bag packed and she would be back on Monday. I decided that I didn’t care. It was better to be done with her. She doesn’t know the mess she would be getting herself into if she were involved with me.

So I went out last night. I wanted to find another girl to bring home and forget about Shane. But that was the problem. I couldn’t get her face out of my head.

Once Adrienne got the word on Shane’s location I did everything to find out where she was. I thought about sneaking into the admissions office to find her address but I don’t need that on my record. So I showed up at her dorm room, pounding on the door until Amy answered. I had to beg her for directions. It took nearly an hour but I convinced her to give me the address.

Now I’m standing in front of her house with no clue what to say or to do. Did I even want to be here? Would she slap me the second she saw me?

I am pacing back and forth, debating whether I should ring the bell or not. Then I heard a tiny voice and I knew there was no turning back.

 ———— 

“Do you like baseball?” Shane’s little brother asks me.

“Uh, yeah” I shrug.

“My dad has season tickets and the Orioles are playing the Yankees tonight…”

“Kyle” Shane sighs. “I’m sure that Ashton doesn’t want to go to the game.”

“Sounds fun” I answer. “Shane can’t have me all to herself” I turn to her and smile. She just shakes her head.

“Ashton” Bella pokes at my leg. “Come play dolls with me.”

“Bella” her mother warns. “That’s not how we ask.”

“Please will you play dolls with me?” She has the same big brown eyes that Shane has. They are impossible to say no to.

I look to Shane for help but she has this smile on her face and I know that I won’t be getting out of it.

“This is me” Bella points to one of the dolls in her dollhouse. “And this is Kyle sleeping and that’s Mommy in the kitchen.”

“Where’s Shane?” I ask her. She takes me hand and pulls me around to the other side of the dollhouse. “Who is in the hot tub with her?”

“That’s Keith. He was nice to me so I wanted him in my dollhouse.”

“And what about me?” I ask her, crouching down to her level.

“I don’t know” she places her fingers to her lips. “You made Shane sad” she frowns.

“But I apologized” I tell her. Tough crowd. “Who’s this?” I point to the man standing next to the car.

“That’s my dad” she sighs. “He leaves a lot.”

My heart sunk but I knew how she felt. Both parents walked out on me leaving me with my older brother. I was eight when my dad left. Of course he knocked my brother and I around a few times before packing up his shit and leaving in the middle of the night before my mom got home from her shift.

I was thirteen when she decided she had enough of putting up with us. Jackson was only 17 but he pretty much raised me.

———-

“Watch him carefully” Shane’s mom lectures her. I love the look on her face. She’s an adult and her mom is acting like she doesn’t know how to watch a kid. At least she cares about her children.

“And please drive safe” she turns to me.

“Will do.”

How did I end up taking a girl that gets on my nerves more than not and her little brother to a baseball game? I’m still debating whether showing up here was a good idea or not.

I know she’s going to read too much in to it. I could have easily spent the weekend going out and getting drunk with my friends. Pick up different chicks and not think about her.

Her dad has box seats right on the first baseline. Surprisingly Shane is dressed for a baseball game. I really thought she might wear on of her many dresses that she loves to wear. But she wore jeans and converses and her Orioles hoodie.

“I’m going to grab a beer you want anything?” I shake my head no. I’m sure her mom would be able to smell the beer on breath even if I took a sip. I wasn’t taking that chance.

“Cracker jacks” Kyle says not taking his eye off the game.

Shane comes back, pushing her way through the aisle, spilling her beer as she did so. I laugh at her frustration. She plops down in the seat next to me with a loud sigh and throws the cracker jacks at her brother.

“Do you not like baseball?” I turn to her.

“Eh” she shrugs. “Football’s better.”

“You could have stayed home you know?” I lean over and say to her.

“Did you not want me to come?” she asks offended.

“Doesn’t bother me.”

I hate watching baseball on TV but being here in the action is great. I even caught a fly ball for Kyle.

Kyle and I were having a great time but Shane couldn’t look more miserable. I nudge her arm and she fakes a smile.

“Do you want to leave?”

“What? No” she answers quickly. “My dad used to take me to the games all the time. It’s weird being here without him.” I nod my head because I don’t know what to say that. I’m not exactly the guy that comforts anyone.

“Hey look” Kyle turns to us. “You’re on the kiss cam.”

Shane’s face turns a light shade of pink from embarrassment. I look up at the screen and our faces are plastered across it. To further her humiliation, I lift her chin and go in for the kiss. Everyone around us starts clapping and cheering. I’ll never understand the point of the kiss cam.

It’s the final inning and Kyle is leaning against Shane’s shoulder about to fall asleep. The Yankees are dominating the game and the stadium was clearing out quickly.

“Should we go?” I ask her.

“Yeah” she yawns and stands up.

“Watch out!” someone calls from behind us. I duck but the ball hits Shane right in the forehead and she falls back on the seat.

Kyle starts laughing hysterically and I had to fight back laughing myself. Shane’s in pain but she’s all right. It didn’t hit her that hard but still getting hit with a baseball is going to hurt like a bitch.

I hold Shane up as we walk through the crowd. I don’t think she has a concussion but she’s tired and delirious. I’ve dealt with Shane drunk before. I hated it. She’s needy and whiney.

I didn’t know who to deal with her in pain. She kept her hand against her forehead, wincing in pain every few minutes.

She bunches her sweatshirt up in a ball and rests her head against the window. She lowers the music. Her hand reaches across the center console and she laces her fingers with mine, her nails digging into my skin.

I want so badly to pull away but I don’t. I know she’s doing it because her head is throbbing and it helps with the pain. So I keep my hand entangled with hers, slowly rubbing circles with my thumb over her smooth skin.

“I want ice cream” Kyle says from the backseat.

“I don’t think we have time for ice cream buddy” I tell him. Shane needs to get home, put some ice on her head and go to sleep.

“Dad always got me ice cream after the game.”

“It’s fine” Shane sighs. “Get the kid ice cream.”

I pull into the parking lot. Kyle jumps out of the truck before I even put it in park and runs inside the ice cream shop. Shane slowly follows behind me. The bump on her forehead growing larger since the last time I looked at it.

“Is it that bad?” she looks up at me.

“No” I lie, placing my arm around her shoulder and pulling her to me. I take out my wallet and hand the cashier a ten, ignoring Shane’s persistent need to pay.

“Sit” I tell her. Shane is a girl that doesn’t like told what to do but she listens anyway.

Kyle’s ice cream cone is spilling down his hand but it doesn’t seem to bother him. Shane’s head is buried in her arms. I force her to sit up and place her bowl of ice cream against her head.

She frowns at me. “It will numb the pain.”

“I look like a fool” she complains.

“You look fine” I tell her but I know she’s going to have a nice bruise there for a few days. “The swelling should go down by tomorrow” I assure her as she rolls her eyes at me.

When we get home Kyle runs for his room. Bella is sound asleep on her mom’s lap in the living room.

“Oh dear god” she gasps. “What happened?”

“I got hit with a ball. I’m going to sleep” she mutters and slowly walks across the wood floor towards the stairs. “You coming?” she turns to me.

I look back and forth between her and her mom. “It’s fine Ashton. I can’t tell my grown daughter she can’t share a room with her boyfriend.”

Before I can tell her that I’m not her boyfriend Shane calls for me to follow her upstairs. She changes into a pair of shorts and a clean hoodie.

I kick off my pants and climb into bed next to her. “Thank you” she whispers against my chest.

“Uh, you’re welcome” I answer just as quietly.

Her breathing evens out seconds later and I know she’s asleep. My mind is reeling and sleep isn’t coming as easy to me. I couldn’t fall asleep last night because I couldn’t get her out of my head. I was tossing and turning all night.

Now I’m lying next to her and she forgave me for being a tool and I still can’t sleep. She makes me too nervous.

I’ve never cared about another person my entire life. Except maybe my brother but he could hold his own. I never had to worry about someone. But I worry about her.

I worry if she gets home safely every night after having one too many. I worry that one day she’s going to stumble into the wrong group of people and get herself in some kind of trouble.

I like her.

That scares me. I don’t know when it happened but lying next to her, my heart is beating out of my chest and I just know.

I like her.

Her damn smile. And that laugh of hers. It’s loud and obnoxious but I like that she’s not embarrassed to just let loose and be herself. It’s hard to find that in most girls our age.

Those big brown puppy dog eyes she gives when she wants something. She uses this strawberry lip-gloss that I love the taste of. And it makes my heart pound against my chest any time she puts her soft lips to mine.

I like her.

The way she always smells like coconut from her conditioner. And the way she dances with her friends as if no one is watching but I am.

But I can’t like her. If she learns things about me she’s going to run. I know she will. People have warned her about me already. Her friend Alexa isn’t too fond of me but she only knows that I get in to a lot of fights. She doesn’t know anything about me or my past.

I can’t like her.

It’s not a road I want to go down again. I liked Vanessa but Shane’s different. Shane is the girl you fall in love with. Vanessa was not. I feel a strong need to protect Shane. I became a bit possessive over Vanessa. I didn’t let her breathe. I couldn’t do that to Shane.

Vanessa was just a as crazy as me. She was a druggie and hung out with the the wrong crowd. Shane is this innocent girl from the perfect world. I could not drag her down with me.

Even if I fought it and tried to shield her from it, there is this monster deep inside of me. Once she’s mine, there is no letting her go.