21

over the next few days, both boys were pretty much just partying and having fun. jimin and hoseok both had a break from work, because it was the week before christmas and their boss gave them almost two weeks off.

"what do you you wanna do tonight?" hoseok asked.

it was almost six o'clock and they had already done everything they could think of over the last few days. they went back to the bowling alley almost five times that week, hoseok never winning, even once.

"i have an idea," jimin said, smirking.

"oh, god. what is it?"

"we could go to a club!"

"a club? you wanna go to a club?"

"why wouldn't i?"

"i don't know... it just doesn't seem like your... scene."

"the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

hoseok was shocked. he hadn't ever heard jimin swear in his entire life.

"woah, since when do you swear?"

"since now," jimin said, smirking.

hoseok knew something was up, but he really didn't care. he liked the new badass side of jimin. the jimin that wanted to hang out with him and not namjoon.

"alright, i'm down. let's go."

-

both boys got all dolled up and headed out. they arrived at the club at about ten, which was the perfect time, in hoseok's opinion.

when they walked in, the immediate smell of sex and cigarettes hit hoseok's nose. he cringed, but quickly broke away from his thoughts when he saw jimin walking into the crowd.

"wait up," he shouted, quickly running after him.

jimin walked further through the crowd, but stopped in his tracks when he saw a huge bar, with tons of drinks for sale.

he pulled on hoseok's jacket, motioning for him to come, "hobi, can we-"

"sure."

hoseok walked jimin to the bar and observed the menu. they both got the drinks they wanted, finishing them fairly quickly.

the second they were done, jimin grabbed hoseok's arm and pulled him out to the dance floor.

hoseok seemed a little shy, which confused jimin. he was always so forward with what he wanted and this was the first time jimin ever saw him stressed out like that.

"come on," jimin said, grabbing hoseok's hands and putting them on his waist, "dance with me."

hoseok felt his heart nearly stop. he knew jimin was probably a bit tipsy, but that didn't change the tension that he was feeling. he wondered if it was only him. it was impossible that jimin felt it, too, right?

and the feeling certainly didn't stop there. they continued for hours, going through several different types of dancing. hoseok enjoyed every minute of it, until something changed.

a sexual song came on. it was fine at first, but after a few minutes, something changed.

he could have sworn he felt jimin grinding on him.

it was subtle, but he could definitely feel it. it wasn't exactly easy to ignore. he let it happen for a few minutes, completely spaced out. he started getting a little too worked up, though, so he yanked jimin off him and pulled him to the door.

"where are we going?"

"home."

-

both boys got into their taxi and didn't speak the entire way back to hoseok's place.

when they pulled up, hoseok paid the man, and followed jimin back inside.

"so... what do you wanna do now? are you tired?" hoseok asked, trying to forget what happened at the club.

"no, not really. we could watch a movie, if you want."

"okay."

-

about a half an hour went by and the boys were now laying on the couch. jimin was acting super clingy, laying down onto hoseok and digging his head into his leg, silently asking for affection. hobi brought his hand down and started lightly rubbing jimin' s back. he ran his fingers carefully over the fabric, waiting for a response from jimin.

"-u-under~" jimin said, pulling up his shirt a bit.

hoseok inhaled deeply, admiring jimin's beautiful waist and muscles, lightly pressing his fingers onto jimin's bare back. he started massaging him, letting his fingers caress jimin's back and make him feel good.

"mmm-"

he heard jimin let a little breathy groan out and it completely caught him off guard. so much so, that he felt his length tighten in his pants.

he jumped up, trying to pull his shirt down to cover it.

"i-i think i'm gonna go to bed," he said, clearing his throat.

"noooo~" jimin whined, pulling hoseok back onto the couch.

he quickly straddled him, digging his face into his neck.

"please~" jimin whispered, "stay," he said, leaving a light kiss to hobi's neck.

hoseok felt a chill go down his spine. he was beyond shocked. he had no clue what was going on.

"did you just...?"

jimin took his head out of hoseok's neck and both boys stared directly at each other.

jimin leaned in slowly, closing his eyes. their lips met and hoseok swore he could have died. it was heavenly, like he'd always imagined. jimin's soft, plump lips, meshed with his own. it was perfect.

jimin slowly started to deepen it, moving his lips faster and opening his mouth a bit.

hoseok returned the action, working magically with jimin. he heard light groans sound from jimin- through the kiss, and it was only edging him on further.

after a few minutes of feverishly kissing, jimin grabbed hoseok's shirt and pulled it off his body. he left kisses down his collarbone, then getting down on his knees, sucking on hoseok's waist. he aggressively pulled down his pants zipper, grunting as he fumbled with the buttons. he pulled them down to about his knees, not bothering to take them completely off.

"mmm-" jimin moaned, leaving a few sloppy kisses to hoseok's thighs.

he quickly started sucking and kissing hoseok over his underwear, still avoiding his privates.

hoseok was lost in pure bliss. he was happier then ever, but something in the back of his head was telling him to stop. something wasn't right.

"j-jimin-" hoseok said, attempting to get his attention.

jimin desperately tried to keep the moment alive, frantically leaving kisses up his torso.

"j-jimin-" hoseok said, grabbing jimin's shoulders and trying to pull him off.

when jimin realized he was serious, he quickly broke away and looked up at him.

"w-what is it? what's wrong?"

jimin quickly sat back up on the couch, next to hoseok, whipping his mouth of with the back of his hand, embarrassed look on his face.

"i-" hoseok sighed, realizing what was bothering him so much, "a-are you just doing this cause you miss namjoon?"

jimin looked over at him, shocked expression on his face.

"what? hoseok, why would i-"

"jimin, just be honest."

there was a pause and jimin stayed silent. he thought it over in his head and suddenly, the idea wasn't so crazy.

"i-"

there was another pause and jimin just watched as hoseok's smile faded away.

"hoseokie~" jimin said, leaning into him a bit.

"just stop. you don't get to act all cute and make me cave and forgive you. it's not gonna work this time," hobi said, pouting.

"i'm so sorry, hobi. i-i just... i miss him and i thought that if i got with you, i could make it work and all the pain would go away. that... maybe, i'd feel better..," jimin stopped, tears coming to his eyes, "but i don't. i don't feel better," he said, finally letting real tears fall,  "and i didn't even think about the fact that i'd be hurting you and-"

"shhh, just stop," hoseok sighed, taking a deep breathe and letting all the anger in him go.

"it's fine, jimin. just forget about it, alright?" hoseok grabbed his shirt off the floor, putting it back on and zipping up his pants.

"hobi, p-please. i-i'm sorry i can't be with you like that, but i still need you, okay? and i love you... so much. at this point, i don't even know if i'll ever be with joon again, but you... you're always gonna be my best friend. that's not gonna change."

"that's not true, jimin."

"w-what?"

"you will be with namjoon. he loves you, he's just... a dumbass. a complete dumbass."

"why would he go be with someone else if he loved me?"

"people make mistakes, jimin. big mistakes. not that what he did is okay, cause it's not. he obviously doesn't deserve you. no one does."

"maybe if i was a girl he'd like me better," jimin said, staring down at his body.

"jimin, don't say that. you're perfect... you're special. if he doesn't want you, because he needs to have vagina in his life, then fuck him."

"it's just... it's like i've given him everything i have and it's still not enough. like... my best isn't enough for him."

"well, i hate to say it, but sometimes that's just it. sometimes we do everything we can. we are just stripped, completely vulnerable and completely raw with someone else. we completely drain ourselves... and it's still not enough. and... and that's okay, because there will be someone out there who loves you for all of you. you shouldn't have to be anyones secret or an embarrassment or a fucking one time thing. no one deserves that, especially you," hoseok paused and looked down, everything hitting a little too close to home, "you are fucking perfect, park jimin and you never have to change for anyone. anyone. never forget that, okay?"

jimin just stared at him, lovingly. what hoseok said had meant so much to him, but he had no idea how he was gonna express it to him.

a few seconds had passed and hobi was looking down, hiding his face from jimin.

"hey, look at me," jimin said, pulling hoseok's chin up, so he could see his face.

whatever was left of jimin's heart had immediately shattered when he saw hobi. his eyes were all red and his lips were pressed together. tears were steaming down his cheeks, quickly trying to rub them away.

jimin immediately wrapped his arms around him, letting hobi rest his head on his shoulder and sob.

"i-i'm so sorry," jimin said, letting a few tears slip out himself.

once hobi calmed down a bit, he managed to answer.

"it's not your fault. it's just... life fucking sucks, doesn't it?"

jimin could only think of one thing. one thing that would show hoseok how much he cared about him.

jimin leaned his face into his. hobi hesitated for a moment, but let it happen regardless.

their lips blended together so smoothly and jimin really couldn't lie, it was nice. it was nice kissing someone who actually cared for him. but, jimin pulled away anyways, knowing he didn't have those feelings for hoseok.

"last kiss," jimin said.

hobi looked at him, wiping the tears from his face.

"last kiss."

______________________________

its emo hours my dudes