♠︎ forty nine

author's note: 

i know that the song included here was actually written a couple years ago, but like, let's just pretend it wasn't, okay? love you all <3

CHAPTER FORTY NINE

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♠︎ YOONGI 

Yoongi was not usually a worrier, but he was certainly worried this evening. 

After his pep talk with you earlier, you'd seemed a little more content, ready to face the crowd downstairs. And though you'd moved through your wine quickly over dinner, you'd seemed happy enough, even chatting pleasantly to Yoora and Tala about the article you were writing, and listening to them talk about their work in return.

He knew you were avoiding Jungkook, but Yoongi couldn't help thinking that perhaps that was a good thing this evening. You were both hurting, and you both needed space. You needed to sleep on it, and talk about it in the morning when tempers were running lower.

So when you dipped outside for fresh air, and Jungkook followed not a moment later, Yoongi began to worry.

He knew you hadn't meant to hurt Jungkook this morning. He'd known you for far too long, to know that you had fallen hard for his youngest friend, and really, you had very little reservation about being with him. It was just the fact that you hadn't dated in two years, since Taehyung, that was making you hesitate.

And Jungkook had taken that hesitation entirely the wrong way. 

Yoongi wondered if he should go out and stop you, but before he could make up his mind, the door was opening again. He watched from the table as you stumbled back into the kitchen, unmistakeable tears glinting in your eyes, and his heart sank. Yoongi had known nothing good could come from the two of you talking after too many drinks. 

Hastily, you made your way across to the kitchen counter, pouring yourself a double count of rum, and downing it swiftly.

Yoongi knew this was his chance to intervene. 

He stood quickly from his seat, apologising to Hobi for leaving, and started across the kitchen - but he was stopped by a gentle hand on his arm.

"Hey," Jimin said softly, gazing at him with round, unreadable eyes.

Yoongi blinked at the younger. It was the first time they had spoken in days. 

"Hi," he replied, eyes darting between Jimin and you. You had moved out of the kitchen now, towards the staircase. "Jimin-ah, I'm sorry, now's not the best-"

"Hyung, please," Jimin pleaded. "This is really important."

Yoongi gazed at Jimin. He wanted to follow you, to make sure you were alright, and not about to do anything reckless - but he also wanted desperately to work this out with Jimin. It had been far too long that they hadn't been speaking, and he at least wanted to see if they could go back to being friends.

"Okay," he conceded. You'd be alright for an hour or so, he figured. And after all, you'd insisted on him talking to Jimin at some point tonight too.

So he followed as Jimin tugged on his arm, leading him out of the kitchen and up towards the rooms at the back of the house.

"Where are we-" Yoongi cut himself off as Jimin pushed open a familiar door. "Why are we in here?"

Jimin shut the door of the studio behind them, moving towards the electrics panel with purpose. "I have to show you something," he said softly. 

The lights came up slowly, bathing the studio in a dim glow. Yoongi watched as Jimin slipped into the recording booth, easing a pair of headphones over his ears, and biting his lip nervously.

Fuck, he really was beautiful. 

Yoongi thought about the blissful week that he'd had Jimin all to himself. When he'd woken up every morning, a tangle of warm limbs and sighs and laughs. Back then, he'd felt lucky to even get to touch Jimin, to kiss that perfect mouth, to be the one who made his eyes crease in those adorable crescent moons. 

Why couldn't Yoongi just have been satisfied with that? Why had he insisted on taking more from Jimin than he was ready to give?

And now Jimin was saying he was ready to give it... and Yoongi didn't know what to believe any more.

He knew just one thing for certain. Despite his arguments to the contrary, Jimin didn't do commitment. 

"I know what you're thinking," Jimin's words interrupted his train of thought.

Yoongi caught his eye through the glass. "Hm?"

"Yeah," Jimin nodded, burying his hands in the sleeves of his sweater. "You're wondering if you can believe what I've been telling you the past few days."

Yoongi froze, stomach churning like a rabbit caught in headlights. "How did you..."

"Know?" Jimin finished, flicking the microphone in the booth on. "Because all I've been thinking about is how to make you believe it."

The corners of Yoongi's mouth turned down, but he said nothing in response. He wanted to see where this was going.

"I know that words count for nothing with you," Jimin continued, coffee eyes burning honestly into Yoongi's through the glass. "I know you. You think actions speak louder, and you're right. So this is me, acting."

Yoongi stared at Jimin. "I'm confused," he admitted.

Jimin just gave him a small, tentative smile, pointing at the mixing desk. "Hit play for me."

Yoongi glanced down at the buttons, doing as he was told. The moment he did, a soft melody began to play, and all of a sudden, flabbergasted by how he hadn't worked this out before, he realised that Jimin was going to sing.

A song he had never heard before.

"I'm sitting alone, only my mind wanders,

Since when did you start hurting me?"

The beautiful, honeyed notes of Jimin's voice reverberated around the studio, making Yoongi's nerve endings vibrate, and a strange feeling swelled in his chest. The melody suited him perfectly, soft and high, accentuating the dulcet tones of his voice. Yoongi had always loved listening to him sing.

"You're hurting me too cause you're mine,

I just wanna blow your mind..."

Yoongi listened in awe. Had Jimin really written this all for him? For Yoongi, writing music was something commonplace; something he'd been doing since he knew how to read and write. It was in his blood. But Jimin was a performer, and Yoongi knew songwriting did not come as easily for him. 

It was this fact that made his gesture, hands down, the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for Yoongi.

"We're drifting apart again..."

Yoongi felt a pang of regret in his chest. How could he have pushed Jimin away this last week? And all because he didn't believe the younger could possibly feel the same way for Yoongi as he did for him. 

It had been an awful mistake. 

As Jimin continued to sing - sometimes with his eyes closed in concentration, and sometimes furtively catching Yoongi's eye - Yoongi felt his heart begin to race. All of sudden, it was painfully clear that Jimin felt everything he felt, and more; he couldn't believe it had taken him pouring those feelings out in a song for him to truly believe them.

"I'll be honest with you tonight,

Now promise me, oh oh..."

Yoongi barely registered that the song had ended, and Jimin was stepping out of the recording booth, until the younger boy was right in front of him. 

"I called it Promise," Jimin murmured. "Because... it's like a promise from me to you. I promise I'm telling the truth about how I feel."

Yoongi couldn't speak. He couldn't find the words, seeing as it felt like his heart had shattered into a million fragments of light. Jimin's perfect lip pulled up between his teeth in anxiousness.

"Well... do you like it?" he ventured, blinking at Yoongi hopefully.

"You have a lovely voice," Yoongi said eventually - it was calm, though a storm of emotion raged inside him. "You should be a singer."

Jimin rolled his eyes. "Hyung-"

But Yoongi had wrapped a hand around his waist, drawing Jimin in for a kiss.

It took a moment for Jimin to respond, and then he was doing so with fervour, his hands coming up to tangle in Yoongi's hair, as Yoongi kissed Jimin as if his life depended on it. He couldn't believe he'd been denying himself this - denying them both this - when it felt so unbelievably brilliant. Jimin sighed into his mouth, clutching Yoongi tightly, as if afraid he might run away. 

But Yoongi wasn't going anywhere. Not this time. 

"Does this mean what I think it means?" Jimin murmured as he pulled away to catch his breath, his lips still brushing Yoongi's gently.

Yoongi stroked a hand down his spine, not letting him get away. "If you think it means we're boyfriends now, then yes."

Jimin giggled. "You sound like a five year old."

"Don't care," Yoongi huffed, but he was grinning, so widely in fact that he thought his jaw might actually fall off. 

"Neither do I," Jimin quipped.

Yoongi pecked his lips once more. "Boyfriends, then."

Jimin nodded. "Boyfriends."

And then they were kissing again.

Yoongi was squeezing Jimin's waist, and wondering about the social acceptability of taking him right here on the mixing desk, when they were rudely interrupted. 

Namjoon burst into the studio, clutching a phone to his ear and talking in a quiet, loving tone.

"Yes, okay - just be patient, angel, I'm looking for an empty room to- oh," Namjoon stopped at the sight of Yoongi and Jimin, locked in each others' embrace, and then he grinned wide. "Sorry, Ni. Studio's occupied."

Yoongi heard the familiar voice of his best friend echo from the other end of the line. "Wait - by who? Pookie? By who?"

"Hi Nia," Yoongi and Jimin both called out, to answer her question.

It only took Nia two seconds to figure out what was happening, and screech so loudly that Namjoon jerked his ear away from the phone, turning it onto speakerphone instead.

"Yes! Finally! The ship will sail!" she cheered, making Jimin giggle against Yoongi's chest. "I'm so happy for you, Yoongles. And you, Jiminie! You tamed the kitten!"

Jimin laughed as Yoongi huffed at the nickname. "Thanks, Nia."

"I'll leave you to it," Namjoon grinned as he shuffled out the door, shooting both Yoongi and Jimin a look that said he was very happy about this turn of events - although whether this was permission for Yoongi to fuck Jimin on the mixing desk, Yoongi still couldn't work out - until a sudden idea struck him.

"Wait - can I talk to her?" Yoongi said to Namjoon, letting go of Jimin (albeit a little reluctantly) to move towards the phone. Namjoon nodded, handing the phone across as he took it off speaker. 

Yoongi pressed it to his ear, remembering at once the reason he had been so worried earlier, before Jimin had distracted him. 

"Ni," he said resolutely. "I need your help."

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